Author's note at the end
~~
Mao Shi,
Cloud Recesses
The sound of the bell can be heard from every nook and cranny in Cloud Recesses.
It is Mao Shi, the time for the Lans to start their activity.
In a secluded area near the back hill of Cloud Recesses,
A building standing alone, serene and quiet.
Chilly morning air fills the Jingshi as someone in Lan white robe slides opens the window to the room.
Gentian blooms sway on the garden.
Butterflies fly and feast upon flowers' nectar.
Bunnies from the back hills are now relocated to Jingshi's garden and they are enjoying their life getting stuffed with the highest-quality carrots from Hanguang-Jun.
It is soothing.
But lonely.
The Jingshi suppose to have a loud warm laughter
The Jingshi suppose to have someone in a red and black robe swaying with his cultivation partner
The Jingshi suppose to be... Alive
Friendly
And not... Quiet
Dead
Griefing
Lan Wangji, titled Hanguang-Jun slides the door open.
Now that he is a Chief Cultivator and Lan-Zongzhu,
His work doubles, no- triple the usual when he was a second heir.
Morning, paperwork
Afternoon, meeting with elders
Evening, visit Lan Xichen and more paperwork
Before Hai shi, grading junior disciples' test papers.
Lan Wangji suppresses his sigh.
He has let out more emotion since the death of his Zhiji.
Disciples are now able to at least predict what his expressions are, albeit it's still difficult.
Being an important figure of the Jianghu is not easy.
Everywhere he goes, he won't have a moment of peace.
Any sect leaders will keep complaining to him, even though those problems are problems that can be solved if the sect wants to give more effort and money into solving them.
Lan Wangji is walking to the breakfast room.
Lan Wangji has arrived.
He takes a tray of bland foods and returns to his Jingshi.
The tray is sitting on the low table.
A faint of laughter
"Lan Zhan! Welcome back!!"
Twirls
"Look at me in your robe, Lan-Er-Gege! Looking good isn't it??"
A bright smile.
"Mn. Pretty"
A whine directed to the foods on the table.
"Lan Zhan~~~ Why are all these foods are soooo bland???"
He reaches his sleeve to put a bottle of chilli oil on the tray.
"Mn. You can add the chilli as much as you want, Wei Yi-"
...
...
Wei... Wei Ying has been dead for years now.
Today is the anniversary of his death
Why would anyone use the term anniversary? Do they celebrate their death or something? Is Wei Ying's death a celebration?? Didn't all his sins were proven as Jin's scheme and an attempt on framed him?
Lan Wangji lowers his head, staring back at the bowl of rice in front of him.
He picks the chopstick and eats the food.
The bland foods tasted sour
'I miss him'
Morning meeting with the elders didn't go well.
They want him to have an heir. A real heir, they say. Not some random stray kid he picked up or a feral loud Lan he adopted
A-Yuan is not a random stray kid! And Jingyi is not a feral Lan! How dare they! Besides, they can do better than Lan-Zongzhu and his right hand. They have the skill and the competence like the late youngest Jin-Zongzhu.
The hidden meaning underneath is that they want him to have a spouse.
He hates it
Oh, how he loathes it.
He only loves one person. Only one person for his whole lifetime!
His Zhiji, dearest Wei Ying.
They say Lan only fell in love once. But once they love you, their love is like drowning in the vast sea of their pure-hearted love.
He wants him back.
He is sure that Wei Ying can handle the elders better than him.
If the elders decide he is not good enough, he will lash out at them and shouts every rule that the elders made a fault.
I want him back
The afternoon is a bit quiet.
He has a few ké for himself.
Today I have to visit XiongZhang. Shufu asked me yesterday.
The door to Hanshi is knocked on.
Lan Xichen knows from the knock pattern that it is his brother Wangji.
"Come in, Wangji"
Lan Wangji steps in, eyes not widened in surprise at his XiongZhang's condition.
Lan Xichen's eyes are tired, the eye bags under his eyes are obvious as if he hasn't been sleeping for years.
His cheeks are gaunt, and there is only a small tired practised smile on his face.
"XiongZhang"
"Wangji, sit down with me"
Lan Xichen pours tea into 2 cups.
It is more of a formality rather than a sign of both comfortable with each other's company.
The two sit in deafening silence.
Between them, it's like the silence only stretches more and more, and a thin barrier is there.
The trust bond between Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen is shattered in pieces.
The remainings are only the bond they share as a blood brother and the fact that Shufu wants them to talk it out
The tea in their cups has long gone cold.
The stillness between them gets louder and louder.
Each of them wants to talk first but is not sure how to not bring up the unpleasant past and risk their unstable fragile state.
Especially the revelation of Jin Guangyao's evil deeds 4 months ago.
Lan Wangji's thoughts in his head are loud.
He is not a good emotional calmer.
If he was Wei Ying...
What would Wei Ying say?
What would Wei Ying do?
Will I be able to do this?
After all, Lan Xichen trusted his beloved A-Yao more than his real brother.
"XiongZhang, Nie Huaisang found proofs that Jin Guangyao assassinated Nie Mingjue"
"Do you really believe him?"
"I do"
"You trust Nie Huaisang, I trust Jin Guangyao"
Stupid.
"Lan Xichen you foolish!! I used your kindness for me to gain the Jin-Zongzhu position!"
"A-A-Yao- Why?"
"What do you think, Er-Ge?"
"Y- Jin Guangshan asked you too"
"Correct, Er-Ge. You know how much recognition I wanted from Nie Mingjue. He pushed me down the stair of Jinlintai, Er-Ge. He knows my intention"
"But Da-Ge has been anything but violent to you!!"
"Ckckck. You are that naive, Er-Ge- no. You are that naive, Lan Xichen. Believing all false lies. Do you want to know more about what you did in the past, Er-Ge??? You want to know what you did to Wei-Gongzi yes???"
"A-Yao why-"
"I don't know, Er-Ge. I really don't know. I killed them. I. Killed. Them. I killed Da-Ge, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, everyone"
"What for, A-Yao? I loved you"
"...You never did. All you do is a console, tell me that all are lies. Gossips are not meant to be heard. You know what happened to the late Madam Jiang, Yu-Ziyuan. She listened to rumours. She caused her downfall"
The roof of Guanyin Temple shakes.
The resentful Baxia has reached them
It pierces Jin Guangyao's heart.
Then, Nie Mingjue's resentful energy gulfs Jin Guangyao, emitting the aura of hate over Jin Guangyao.
As last resort, Jin Guangyao attempted to pull Lan Xichen's wrist, but before he reaches Lan Xichen's wrist, his hand gets cut down swiftly by Lan Wangji's Bichen.
After a total of 2 Shi of 'productive' talk, Lan Wangji excuses himself to continue his duty as Lan-Zongzhu and Chief Cultivator.
The word Lan-Zongzhu stabs Lan Xichen's heart.
He handed the heavy task as a Zongzhu to his brother's shoulder, just because of his cowardliness.
Like their Fuqin.
The door to Hanshi has been closed, leaving Lan Xichen alone with his dark spiralling thoughts and two cups of cold tea on the table.
Lan Wangji, on his way to Jingshi, once again thought
I miss him
The evening has arrived.
Neat stacks and stacks of finished test papers piling up on his side.
The ink on the ink bowl and brush gets dryer and dryer.
A knock on his door.
The door slides open.
Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi are at the door.
The juniors at their 18 are standing with their white regal mourning robes.
Both of them are holding trays of food.
Is it dinner time already?
"A-Die, me and Jingyi brought our dinner here."
"Sizhui and I also want to ask, Hang- A-Die"
"Mn"
A nod from Lan Wangji is enough for them to continue.
"Can we... Stay here for the night?"
Jingyi asks, surprisingly quieter than the usual loud Lan.
Sizhui continues where Jingyi finished his questions.
"A-Die... I- We- Today is Baba's death anniversary. We would like to know more about Baba"
Lan Wangji nods his head.
"Mn. Can stay here for a night"
Sizhui and Jingyi are brightened up a bit.
They have heard so much about their Wei-Baba and their A-Die will tell about him more tonight!
The three eat in silence as per Gusu Lan's customs.
Then, after they have finished their dinner, Lan Wangji begins to tell their adventures together, about Wei Wuxian teasing him when they were disciples in Cloud Recesses.
When it is time for Lan's bedtime,
Jingyi and Sizhui decide to room together like back when they were toddlers.
Lan Wangji plays his Guqin to calm them to sleep and watches their slight rising chests, breathing slowly while both of them are sleeping for a minute or two.
After Hai Shi, he visits the former bunny hill in the forest behind Jingshi.
He knows that it has passed his bedtime, but as someone who has been in a sleepless war, waking up after the curfew is far easier than staying awake and alert at all times.
When he has reached the hill, he looks for a particular tree where Wei Wuxian's nameplate is.
He puts the nameplate there since if he puts it in his room or near his Jingshi, the elders will destroy it.
He kneels in front of Wei Wuxian's nameplate, lighting up 3 incense sticks, then put them in an incense ash holder.
A bottle of Tianzi Xiao and loquats beside the incense ash holder.
He then sits down and puts his Qin on his lap, playing Inquiry.
He has been playing Inquiry every day since Wei Wuxian's death in Luanzang Gang. One more is not a burden for him.
He plays
Are you Wei Ying?
Plays
Do you know Wei Ying?
Plays
Wei Ying, I have a jar of Tianzi Xiao for you
Until his fingers bled
Once more he fails to call his spirit.
He slowly lowers his Qin to the grass, and back to his kneeling position, he kowtows in front of the empty grave.
Then, on his knees, he tells the empty grave once more about their sons in a whispered tone, not caring whether the person he wants to talk to can hear or not.
"Wei Ying, A-Yuan and Jingyi are doing great. They are almost considered seniors now. Not for long, they will be able to lead a night hunt"
"Wei Ying, XiongZhang and I haven't been on good terms. I don't know how to talk to him. If you were here, you would do it and talk out to XiongZhang"
"Wei Ying, being a Chief Cultivator and the centre of attention is hard. How did you do it, Wei Ying? I am overwhelmed sometimes. I want to hug you when I got home after a long work.
I want to cuddle with you after we take a bath together and share tender kisses.
I want to hold you as I wrap my forehead ribbon on your wrist and whisper goodnight to each other before we sleep"
He talks, talks, talks
And griefs, and wept.
The whispered secrets of Lan Wangji:s the deepest sorrow and his tears stay between the empty grave and Lan Wangji.
I miss him
Once,
There was a cold jade
Then the jade meets the warm red lotus among the clouds
The lotus ask
"How are you?"
The jade gets irritated since he thinks that the red lotus is annoying and a rule breaker
"Do your punishment"
Then the fire destroyed the cold jade and the red lotus' home
A clash against the burning fire
The fire lost, what's left only the ashes and small amber
The red lotus is withering
The cold jade knows it
The jade desperate to help the lotus
But it was all in vain
The red lotus withered, never to be seen again
Disappear, as if the red lotus never exist
The cold jade shattered
A river of tears cried out
So the jade waits
And waits
And will wait forever for the red lotus to bloom again
No matter how long it takes
Next,
Chapter 18
~~
This is a celebration chapter for 10K readers!!🎉🎉
And... *drum roll*
ting ting ting!
You guessed it right if you think that this is the lost future in this fic! This chapter is precisely 4 months after Guanyin Temple, roughly 13 years after WWX's death, and after Lan Wangji was appointed as Chief Cultivator and Lan Xichen goes into seclusion, burdening LWJ with the responsibility of Lan-Zongzhu.
... So,
How is it?
Did it hurt?
Did the angst rip your heart again and again?
Is the angst enough or do you need more of the lost future chapter?
Did you notice I put youngest Jin Zongzhu there?
If you do, congrats!
Jin Ling, Jin Rulan is dead
From attacking the Dancing Fairy statue.
Without Wei Wuxian who can control resentful energy and accidentally summon Wen Ning to fight the Dancing Fairy, spiritual tools are useless and Jin Rulan is dead.
Jiang Wanyin is devastated because he was too late to save his last family member.
Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi survive because Lan Wangji is always behind them protecting.
Many disciples die in the fight with Dancing Fairy.
Nie Huaisang still finds a way to reveal Jin Guangyao.
Lan Wangji still hates his XiongZhang.
Lan Xichen is withering away in seclusion.
Lan Sizhui/ Lan Yuan/ Wen Yuan never got to meet Wei Wuxian so his memories only return scarcely since his last memory anchors in canon (WWX and Wen Ning) don't show up.
There is no Wei-Baba to tell stories about him playing with radishes, no Ning-Shushu to tell him about the Dafan Wens.
Wen Ning is only got buried since no one knows how to wake him up.
Lan juniors never know about a bright and fun teacher Wei-Qianbei.
Cultivation sects aren't trusted by the commoners anymore since the truth about Wens in Burial Mound is out (except Lan Wangji and his ducklings. They help all commoners in need)
There is no second siege of Luanzang Gang.
Look how bleak it is if the troublemaker twink WWX didn't come back.
Haha.
*slurps boba cutely after writing this chapter*