Content warnings; none!
(Y/N)'s POV
I'm glad Jean came to my rescue and escorted me back to my place. I wasn't looking forward to walking home alone anyway, especially after that stupid altercation today.
"Jean—you didn't have to do this, you know? I totally owe you one." I stated, as I let go of him
"Nah, you don't have to thank me." He placed his hand on his head and cheesed extra hard at me.
"Why did you help me? I didn't think anyone would've came back for me." I asked, curiously.
Whenever I did manage to get hurt, no one was really around to help me. It was my dad's way of telling me to toughen up. My mom was the only one who came to my rescue, but after her passing, my dad either disregarded my injuries or he was just flat out gone. There was no in-between.
"Well, I noticed you weren't with the group, so I figured maybe you had gotten lost or something. I helped you because we're going to be comrades sooner or later, if you decide to join the military. Comrades help each other." He answered, smiling.
Comrades?
It was clear he didn't listen to me when I stated that he didn't have to walk me any further, but here we were, at my front door.
I unlocked it and opened the door, only to reveal that it was going to be another painfully boring and lonely night, without my dad being home. My worst fear; the moment I dread the most.
I faced Jean again.
I smiled, "Thanks again, I appreciate you." I playfully nudged him, trying to distract him from my feelings.
"Say—do you live alone?" He asked, like he was worried I wouldn't be okay by myself.
"For the most part, yeah.." I sighed.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay or anything? I would be happy to it's not like I have plans or anyt-"
I interrupted him, "It's okay, I have to take a shower and do my homework anyway, if you don't mind." I interrupted him, giving him a weak smile.
He chuckled, "Right, of course." He cleared his throat, "I'll see you tomorrow then."
I shut the door behind me and for some reason, I felt bad for shutting him out. He was really sweet, there's no doubting that. I kind of like him. Besides, he takes care of me and makes sure that I'm okay. I need that, especially being here all on my own. I walked into my room and headed over to my nightstand. I looked at the framed picture that was sitting on it. It was a picture of my parents and me sitting on my mom's lap.
I missed my mom more than anything, I miss my dad too. As much as I hate to admit it, I feel lonely and abandoned and I could really use Jean's company right now—or anyone's as a matter of fact, but it feels like it's just too much to ask for. It's been like this ever since my mom passed.
Dad was always gone.
I missed the days where I would happily jump into her arms and watch my father laugh and adore me from afar. I missed the days where my mom would play dress up with me and dad and I would play pretend.
Being alone like this made me sad—very sad. I felt this way because I didn't have anyone to come home to, after a hard day. Not to mention, I'm the only child too. It truly does suck having to go through this feeling for years repeatedly—It's like an never ending cycle.
It may be embarrassing to admit, but I've never had friends either. Not a single one. My only friends were my parents because I never got to go outside and play. I never got to go to a public school, I never got to hang out with anyone—other than the people who I were stuck living with. I knew my mom wanted me to go and make friends, but my dad just wouldn't let me. He claimed that playing outside with other children was just wasting valuable time and I needed to be prepared for everything.
A few years after my mom passed, my depression got worse and so did my anxiety because my dad was barely home anymore. My mom was my best-friend, so I really didn't have anyone after her. There was even one point it in my life, where I could hear everything and everyone, but everything was just black. It felt like that forever—like an everlasting dream.
Nevertheless, I'm glad that's all changing now. I can consider those in my class my friends, I just hope the feeling is mutual.
About Eren, I don't know. Although, I didn't want to be on bad terms with him, it just seems that he doesn't feel the same way. Considering, he let his friend punch me in the face, but like Jean said, they tend to do this. I just have to keep my distance.
I took my ribbon off, letting my hair fall down and placed it on my nightstand, right in front of the picture. I took off my unnecessarily tight uniform and took a brisk shower. Afterwards, I put on a medium sized t-shirt for comfort.
I decided to work on my homework for about an hour or so. The homework wasn't as complicated as I'd thought it would be, considering it was probably more difficult than the homework I was always given. I also had to study and it was about some type of mobility gear and other things. I was having a good amount of time studying, learning about new things, until I heard a knock on my door.
To be completely honest, I felt scared. I didn't know who it was, so it took me a few minutes to finally build up the courage and answer it.
At this rate they'd be gone, if I don't get my ass down there and open the damn door.
I walked downstairs and carefully opened the door, only to notice it was Eren, facing the opposite direction. It was clear to me he was about to leave, but luckily I answered the door right on time.
How in the hell does he know where I live? And why is he even here? It's clear we don't get along.
"Eren?" I asked, astonished.
He turned around and looked at me, without a single word spoken. The refreshing breeze and the sound of leaves hitting the ground from outside, was the only thing breaking the silence in between us. I stared at him, as I watched his pupils dilate and his hair awkwardly blow in the wind. He eyed me up and down, as his face turned crimson red.
Is he blushing? What the hell...
"Where's your ribbon thingy?" He asked me, abruptly.
Seriously how in the world is that important? I'm surprised that's even the first thing he's noticed.
"You came here to ask me that? I take it off when I'm at home or getting ready to sleep." I answered, sheepishly.
He continued to stare at me inaudibly. It was awkward, considering he's only been nothing, but rude to me so far.
"Okay Yeager...what are your true intentions for coming here?" I exhaled.
"My intentions?" He retorted.
I furrowed my eyebrows and tilted my head in confusion.
He seriously doesn't know why he's here?
"You're not wearing p-pants." He blurted out, arbitrarily.
"I'm aware.." I slightly closed the door, so he couldn't see much of my legs.
Why is he acting so weird?
"I came to say... I'm—sorry! Bye!" He awkwardly ran off, disappearing into the sunset before I could even respond to him.
That was the worst apology I've ever heard.
I shut the door, baffled as ever.
Maybe it's kinda strange that I was looking forward to his company, but I guess not. I should probably get sleep anyway.
I walked back upstairs, wondering what the hell that was all about.
Why did he say sorry? He never said why.
I couldn't seem to understand what made Eren so apologetic all of a sudden. Maybe he was sorry for Mikasa's overprotective behavior, but it's totally understandable. I can't think of any other reason he'd be apologizing for, unless he was excusing his ludicrous behavior towards me lately.