The car ride was silent. I was looking outside the window most of the time. Sometimes when I wasn't looking outside the window, I would look at him with a sideways glance, trying my level best to not turn my face in his direction. 'He is the one inviting me over dinner, he should start the small talk and put all the awkwardness to rest' I snapped at my subconscious who looked at me shaking her head. 'Dear he invited you for dinner. He took a step forward. Least you could do is open your damn mouth and start a happy conversation' my subconscious snapped back putting on her sunglasses.
But I realised she was right.
"So what's with the change of heart??" I said looking at him. He gave me a confused sideways glance, his forehead giving birth to infinite curved frown lines.
"Change of heart??" he asked curiously.
"Yes. Why did you invite me over?? When you clearly don't want to do anything with me." I blurted my heart out.
"Cause I want to be your friend." he said shaking his head in amusement.
"Ohkay. This is not funny. What are you smiling about??" I said with anger laced voice.
"You'll know soon. We are almost there." he said coolly to which I crossed my arms around my chest and sat in my seat pouting like a little child who was denied candy.
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Derek unlocked the door and switched on the ceiling lights as he entered his house. I was still standing in front of the door contemplating whether to enter or not. When I didn't follow him inside, Derek turned to me and frowned.
"What are you waiting for?? Come on in." he said, authority dripping from his voice.
Well, I didn't rush to enter his house because I am not sure about his mood. What if he regrets bringing me over?? What if he thinks I am nothing but a burden and he has to bear with me until the clock strikes 11.
I fidgeted with my fingers and entered the place giving him a small smile. He locked the door behind me and the cluck of the knob made my heart skip a beat. All this time I hadn't realised that I was going to be alone with Derek. In his house. Away from campus. Away from everyone. I trust Derek but I had this weird feeling because I have never spent alone time with someone who wasn't a friend. Derek's not my friend. He is the hot college senior who I have feelings for and I have only interacted with him in campus and the mall.
Phew!!
As if he read my thoughts, Derek said to me pouring water in a glass, "You can trust me. I won't hurt you in any way. I just felt that I needed to clear things with you for both of our good. And it's not possible in campus. To talk. So."
I looked at him and nodded.
"Even if I did something, your stalker of a friend will cut me into pieces and eat me raw." He chuckled that lasted for three seconds. I forgot he doesn't laugh much.
He was right, I thought. It was about time we needed to talk and clear our heads. In a way, I was glad that he stepped up and took matters in his hands.
"This place is nice. Clean, much to my surprise." I said glancing at the living room that was really very clean.
I have lived with Daniel and he would turn the house in a garbage dump if I wasn't there to clean up. No wonder how the house looks now. I hope Aairah is like me and cleans it when required.
Thinking of Daniel, I made a mental note to call him. It has been a few days since we last talked.
"I am a clean guy. I don't like dirt." he smiled offering me a glass of water which I took smiling back at him.
"I can see that." I said admiring the room.
With sky blue curtains, a large white sofa and round mini cushions, a book shelf filled with books from different authors and belonging to various genres, a shelf full of gaming car models and an open kitchen nearby, the living room looked exquisite. I turned around and my eyes locked with Derek's as he averted them immediately.
I smiled and then my eyes landed to the wall next to kitchen that was covered in photo frames. So many frames, arranged neatly according to their size and shape.
I walked towards the wall and looked at the pictures almost gaping. Turning to Derek, I pointed towards a black picture frame asking, "When was that?? Senior year??"
It was a picture of him, he looked like he was in junior or senior year. He looked so young with that beardless baby face, fuzzy eyebrows fencing his green beans, perfect spiked hair and a mouthful grin. He looked different. He looked like somebody else. Not at all like the Derek who was standing behind me. 'What happened to you Derek??' I questioned inaudibly.
"That was Prom." he said chuckling. "Feels like an eternity."
"Hmm. And you were Prom King right??" I asked turning to face him. A small smile escaped from his lips and he narrowed his green eyes at me.
"How do you know that??"
"When someone looks like that" I said gesturing to the picture, "he is bound to be crowned Prom King." I said chuckling.
"Yeahh okay. You would say that." He said coming closer to show me more pictures. My heart raced and I swallowed a lump in my throat. He was oddly close. I reminded myself that it isn't the first time to ease my nerves. 'We have kissed for god's sake.' I said to myself.
He pointed to a picture of him with three other guys and other pictures with the same guys. One of them is his uncle Peter who is 6 years older than him, the others are his friends Scott, Stiles, Jackson and Lydia.
Derek looked so happy in all these pictures. He was almost unrecognisable. That happy grin. Those smiling green eyes. That carefree attitude. I wish I had met him before. Maybe we would had a chance. Not now, though.
By the time I scanned through all the pictures, Derek had retreated to the kitchen to prepare dinner I assumed. I stepped back and followed him to the kitchen.
"What are you gonna cook??" I asked leaning on the door frame. He turned his head towards me and smirked. I noticed he wasn't wearing his signature leather jacket anymore.
"You like spaghetti??" He asked concentrating on chopping spring onions. His hands worked fast just like a chef's.
"Love it. Can I help?? I'll be bored standing here all by myself." I said entering the kitchen.
"Okay. Grab some cheese cubes and marinara sauce from the fridge." He directed me to the fridge and I did as I was told.
I opened the fridge and grabbed a few cheese cubes and the bottle of marinara sauce and kept them on the kitchen counter. While doing so my hand brushed his and his body stiffened.
"I am sorry. That wasn't deliberate." I apologized immediately not wanting to make it seem desperate. I have shown enough signs of desperation already.
"I know. It's okay." He said.
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I was standing in the living room balcony after dinner. Derek's spaghetti was delicious and turns out he really is good cook.
We talked about random stuff over dinner like what inspired me to become a doctor and what I told him is a total lie. Well, I can't possibly tell him that my parents died in a car accident because I wanted to have chinese for dinner. I can't tell him this stuff until I share a very deep bond with him. So I just told him that I have been watching lot of Grey's Anatomy since ninth grade and the prospect of becoming Meredith Grey someday is what inspired me. In short, Meredith Grey is my inspiration, which isn't a lie, completely. I adore her.
I asked him about his interests and he told me he likes to cook, drive his camaro and read classics. He hates watching movie adaptations of novels. He says it is kind of insane to capture a 300 page novel into a 1.5 hour crappy movie. Which is true. I completely agree.
He asked me about my friends from back home especially because he had seen that photo collage hung in my room. I told him about Claire, Candice, Paul, Kat. I didn't say about Ian because talking about Ian would lead to talking about my relationship with him and that was the last thing I wanted to talk about.
I asked him if he had any siblings and he told me he has two beautiful sisters, Laura and Cora. They live in Beacon Hills, yeah that's his hometown. He has an uncle, Peter who is only a few years older than him. He even told me that Alex is his step brother. Surprise?? No surprise. I just laughed at his mention and he said that he knows that I knew about it.
Hours passed. We talked. We laughed. We ate.
It was past ten when my phone vibrated. I saw a text message from Vallie.
You good?? Got your answers?? - V
On it. - P
I replied quickly while Derek cleared the table. I went behind him to the kitchen carrying the pot of spaghetti. And before I could help him load the dishwasher, he insisted me to see the balcony and enjoy the view. He said the view is quite exotic at night. I obliged.
I was standing in the balcony stunned. The view really was Amazing. Exotic. Fascinating. Hundreds of cars drove past on the road illuminating their headlights and tail lights like fireflies. I could see several tall buildings, their windows illuminating like fairy lights. Everything looked small. I clicked a picture on my phone as a memory. Who knows this is my first and last time here.
While I was taking in the view, Derek appeared with two glasses of red wine. He offered one to me and took it immediately. I really needed a drink.
"I love it here." He said taking a sip, his eyes glued to the chasing cars.
"No kidding. I take it this is why you don't live in campus." I said glancing at him.
"Maybe." He said.
There was a pause after that. Neither I said anything. Nor did he. We were just gazing at the lights. Dreamily. I took another sip of my wine when Derek spoke.
"I loved someone when I was fifteen. She was my childhood bestie turned lover. She passed away in a tragic accident one night." He said taking a pause.
In the meantime, my mind couldn't register what he just said. We were standing side by side and I was looking at him mouth agape. A little.
He began after what felt like ten years, "I was supposed to meet her that night but I got caught up in practise. I didn't get there in time. She was mauled by an animal, a mountain lion the police said." He stopped again. He caught the railing for support. I couldn't believe how something cruel and painful like that could happen to someone so good and caring like Derek.
"Derek." I said placing a hand of comfort on his shoulder. "You don't have to say anymore. It still hurts you like it happened yesterday. I am so sorry." I said assuring him.
"No..... I'm....I'm okay. It....it..... happened 9 years ago. But yeah.... I do blame myself for that. I should've been with her." He said turning towards me. I took the wine glass from his hand and kept it on the smallish coffee table in the corner, along with my glass. I held his hand and gave it a little squeeze to comfort him.
"I was wrecked after her death. My mom helped me through that phase. And 3 years later she died too..... I haven't been the same ever since. Everyone close to my heart just.... dies." He said looking away while I stood holding his hand. Breathless and speechless.
Derek still wasn't looking at me. Seeing him so vulnerable and hurt, my heart ached. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to take away all bouts of pain from his heart and mind. I wanted to show him compassion and I wanted him to know that I am here, with him, will always be.
No matter what. I will never leave him.
I could feel my eyes on the brink of tears. And in that moment I did what I want to be done with me when I feel pain.
I closed the little distance between us and hugged him tight. My hands enclosed his neck resting just below the hairline. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, releasing small breaths.
For the first few seconds, it felt like Derek was lifeless. He didn't move. He didn't hug me back. But sometime later, I felt his hands embrace my waist. He got closer and buried his face in the crook of my neck.
That was the moment when I felt him relaxed. He lost himself in my warm embrace. He felt at ease.
"I like you. But I'm sorry. I am scared you'll die too." He said in muffled voice.
"I know you do. And it's okay. I... I...understand." I said holding him tight closing my eyes hard to escape tears.
We stood like that in the balcony, pressed into each other for what felt like an eternity. None of us was willing to let go.
And then TING TONG!! TING TONG!!!
We let go of each other alarmingly as if we were caught doing something nasty. Derek eyed me softly while I hurried into the living room.
I didn't want him to see me right now. My eyes must have been swollen and red due to the silent crying I did while hugging him.
He saw me hurrying into the living room but didn't say anything. I figured he understood and gave me privacy. Instead he walked to the main door and looked into the door hole only to see Valerie standing like a runway model.
"It's Valerie." He said and unlocked the door.
"Hi. I'm here for my friend. She's still alive right??" She said jokingly eyeing both of us and our not so funny expression.
"Heyy. Let's go." I said clearing the air so that she doesn't say anything else that might upset Derek. He has already been through enough.
Valerie smiled at me while I grabbed my cell phone from the table. I turned towards Derek who was eyeing me like a lost puppy. 'Oh Derek' I said mentally.
"Thanks for having me over. I had a good time." I said touching his hand and giving a small smile.
"I had a good time too." He said smiling at me.
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Vallie and I got into her car when she asked me questions about the dinner and Derek but I was too lost in Derek's painful past to answer anything. Ofcourse I won't say a word to Vallie. This is Derek's past. It's not my place to tell anything to anyone, not even to my best friends.
"So how did it go??"
"Huh??"
"The dinner?? How was it?? Did you talk to him??"
"Dinner was good. Spaghetti. Delicious."
"And??"
"Yeah we talked. I told you before he'll be leaving after April and I don't wanna do long distance. So what?? Few months with him and then??"
"Yeah. You're probably right."
"Don't worry. I'll be fine. I still have you and Liam."
I said assuring her and making her believe the false reasons. And I think she bought it.
As for Derek, I won't bother him for being with me now. But I also can't stay away from him. God!!!
Well he wants to stay friends. I'll be friends with him. Atleast that way I'll get to see him, talk to him, spend time with him. Problem solved.
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Hello lovelies,
A new chapter for you all. It is an emotional chapter and an important one from Derek's past.
Please read it and don't forget to VOTE.
If you had to date a celebrity, who would it be??
Dedicating this chapter to navroxx1919 and ChikuBieber. 💗💗
With love
Preeti.