Beta stared at their front door as it slammed shut.
It felt so fake, the entire situation and the consequences that came with it. Sometimes, he'd think about telling Alpha off in his mind, something along these lines - but in his mind, the victory was always sweet and deserved.
This felt like absolute torture.
He stood up from the table, unsure of what to do. Does he go upstairs and talk to his mother about it? Will he just lay down and pretend it never happened? No... He needed to make things right before it was too late.
Again...
His hands shook as his fingers gripped at his forehead; how could he be so stupid and say something so awful?.. Sure, his older brother hasn't been the best person to talk to today - but he was still a living, breathing human with real emotions. What he said completely broke him...
There was no way in hell, Beta can't fix everything tonight, but he could try... If Alpha decided to punch him square in the face, he'd gladly take it - it was deserved. Just as he deserved it the first time...
The first time...
Tears gathered in his eyes as he quietly walked over towards the door. Leaning his ear on it, he could occasionally hear the quiet sniffles - which indicated that his brother was luckily still there. Beta wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but something in his mind told him to get over his pride and open that damn door.
And so he did. The cold hair hit his tear-stained cheeks immediately, just like the smell of cigarettes hit his nose. Alpha snapped his head towards him, his expression was mostly unreadable due to his sunglasses, despite it being night outside.
The cigarette in his hand was shaking just like his breath as he puffed out smoke.
"Alpha, I-"
"Fuck off and die."
Was the answer he received immediately in reply. It was expected, Beta watched him turn his head in the opposite direction. For a moment, the younger brother stood at the door frame, looking down onto the ground as he sniffed occasionally.
"Alpha..." He whined out, barely audible, his voice sounding so alien as it lost its usual rough sarcasm - "I... I'm sorry."
No reply, Beta decided to step outside and close the door behind him. He sat down, away from Alpha as he hugged his knees to his chest. He felt like his brother would kill him if he spoke up again or annoyed him - but the fact that he was staying with him was a good sign.
"You're sorry?" Alpha repeated after a few minutes of quiet sniffing - "You don't need to be sorry. What you said was true."
Beta stared at him with glossy eyes, more tears threatening to spill. This was not his older brother right now, if he had to be honest, Alpha jumping straight into his self love would have comforted him way more than him being this... shell of a man. Alpha looked so small.
"N-No?" Beta whispered back in a dumbfounded manner - "No! It's not true at all! Y-You know that dad would have loved you no matter who you liked."
"Stop it." Alpha snapped, taking off his sunglasses in favor of drying his face - "Stop pitying me."
"I'm not!" Beta said, sobbing with his words - "I-I don't think dad would have hated any of us for who we are... I-If he did, he'd be a horrible dad, but he's not! I think he'd set aside his stupid belifes for you and me!"
"Me and you?"
Beta stopped dead in his tracks as Alpha finally looked at him. He remembered Charlie's words then and how he encouraged him to have this conversation. He would do anything right now to make Alpha feel better.
"...I'm gay, Al."
Alpha couldn't tear his eyes away. It was the first time in a while Beta felt like they were understanding each other. Despite the situation, it felt like some sort of weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
"...Wow."
"Yeah."
"Are you messing with me? You are the most vile person if you are still messing with me." Alpha hissed, shaking his head a few times to emphasize his point.
"I'm not. I like guys too."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
Alpha took a sharp breath in before putting his sunglasses on.
"So you're copying me now? Ha... "
"What?! God, I knew you were gonna say that-"
"I'm joking..." Alpha took one more drag out of his cigarette before flicking it to the ground, stomping on it. "Well fuck, Beta you must hate yourself more than I did with the shit you said."
"I do. I do a lot, Alpha."
"Pitiful. But understandable."
"You aren't going to ask why I said the stuff I did even with being gay?"
"Do I have to? I think I know, but if you wish to elaborate then do so. Hell, did you know this even when I first brought Charlie around? Because you have been a monster to me since the beginning."
"I had an idea."
"Go on."
"I like dudes, Al, and I was scared to open up to the family. I thought to myself that I shouldn't ever or at least when I finally moved out. But then you just come along and come out like it wasn't no big deal. And mom accepted you like that?! It made me so upset."
"I see."
"Like can I even come out now? Wouldn't mom be disappointed that now she has two gay sons, like fuck? Especially that I am the gross smelly one."
"Did it make you want to die?"
"Uh, what?.."
"Did it make you want to die?"
"Alpha, what?.. " Beta stared at him.
"I felt like I wanted to die when I first realized I had these feelings."
"Oh... I never knew you did." The younger sibling's eyes traveled to the concrete in front of him, memories of how he used to act flooded into his mind.
"I was able to find comfort in myself. Eventually I found love and I was happy. But when you said those words about dad and how much he would hate me, those feelings came back."
"I'm sorry Alpha, I am so fucking sorry. I don't wish death on you. We have always been at each other's throats but at the end of the day you still are my brother. I love you."
"I... I don't think I can forgive you, at least for a while... But coming out to me today did mean a lot to me. For the first time I see myself in you."
Alpha sighed as he lowered himself down to sit next to Beta. He took his sunglasses off completely and hung it off his shirt, it was so alien to see his eyes so red.
"I'm scared to lose him too, Beta. I would be so lost without him. So lost. His mental health isn't the best as you know..."
"Yeah..."
"And if anyone hurt him, I would go feral without even thinking."
"I know." Beta whispered, letting his thoughts run through his head for a moment. He remembered the past timeline, the garbage place and the pumpkin demon. It made his stomach twist uncomfortably - "We are a really fucked up family..."
"Indeed."
"But... I'm going to see a therapist and work on myself. I promise."
"It does help."
"You go to therapy?" Beta asked, looking up to his brother.
"Yeah, Charlie invites me to talk sometimes. It's good for me. It's good for both of us." Alpha explained, as he leaned back against the wall.
"I'm so glad, Al..."
"You can't drive yet though, right?"
"Huh?" The question felt out of nowhere.
"Mom is busy isn't she? How do you get anywhere?"
"Oh yeah, don't remind me. She got me a job and it is a struggle to get there sometimes with her schedule. I have to take the bus and it makes me late. I promised to take my driving test again but there is no one to practice with."
"That would be a shame if it makes you miss therapy appointments."
"Oh shit, yeah. Didn't even think about that."
"Beta, I am pretty busy myself but I know we can work together to schedule myself to make sure I can take you. Charlie could too. I wouldn't trust myself with Senpai behind the wheel but I bet he could take you too."
"You want to do that? You live like an hour away from here!"
"Yeah. No matter how much of an ass I am to you and you are to me - you are still my little brother and it is one of my goals to protect you."
"Wow, Al..."
"I'm pretty free on Saturdays. After that we can practice driving." Alpha shook his head. "Even though I will probably regret that, ahah."
"That means a lot...Uhh, Al? This may be out of pocket but I won't come to your wedding if you don't want me there. I'll leave Charlie alone too. I'll do anything to make it up to."
"No no, Charlie likes you."
"I don't think he would if he heard what I said."
"He would fucking despise you."
"Ah."
"But I am not going to tell him. This should stay between us. I am not proud about the things I said either."
"Yeah..."
"You can come to my wedding, Beta. As much as I lied to myself before saying I didn't want you there. It would be weird without you.
"Thank you Alpha."
"Don't mention it." His older brother exhaled, looking up to the sky for a moment.
"Uh... Al?" Beta asked after a moment of silence, quietly and in a hesitant manner.
"What is it?"
"Can... Uh," He looked away awkwardly, "Can I hug you?.."
"..." Alpha remained quiet for a few moments - "When did you last shower?"
"H-Huh?" Beta stuttered, the question drawing a blank from him - "Like uhh... Yesterday, I think?"
"Eh-" Alpha rolled his eyes, "Good enough, I guess."
Beta stayed frozen as his older brother inched closer to him, embracing him for a few seconds, before letting go with an exhausted 'ew' sound. His younger brother quickly pulled him in for another hug, which annoyed the platinum blonde to an extent - but he refused to comment anything for now. The hug even lasted so long that Beta felt Alpha shake causing Beta to hold on tighter.
Though soon they pulled away. Beta felt warm looking at his brother's face. This was a start, instead of spending the rest of their lives hating each other they could build something.
Wait. Beta looked down at the butt of the cigarette.
Cancer. Fucking, this man next to him had it apparently just like dad, making it so they cannot live happy for their full lives. No, that was unacceptable.
"Hey, Al."
"Hmm." Alpha hummed in response, seeming a little bit distant as his patience ran out.
"You know you stink too?"
"Excuse me??" The older man looked absolutely flabbergasted.
"With the smoking I mean. I thought you said you were going to quit last year."
"...I know. I just have so much on my plate, it helps me."
"But you know dad... He had..."
"I know Beta... listen I'll watch myself. I am not like him."
"Ok. Just maybe you should- I mean all of should check with the doctor to see if we- "
"Al?"
Beta felt silent. It was Charlie. Both the brothers turned towards him. This conversation could go for another day.
"Hey, Charles." Alpha sighed.
"Are you two ok?" There was clear confusion in his one eye.
"Yeah..." Alpha got up and headed over to him, placing his kiss on his cheek before guiding him back through the door. "Let's go inside, I'm freezing my ass off."
"O-Ohhh, okay? Beta are you coming?" Charlie looked over seeing if he would join.
"In a minute," Beta smiled. As they went inside he just sat there looking up at the sky.
He did it. His mom and him were ok. He had a new friend. His brothers and him were better. He was on a better track.
Everything was better but why did he still feel like things were off.
That something was missing.
.
.
.