"Mmhmm," he murmurs.
You open the water bottle and nudge him gently. He raises his head slowly, eyes closed. Then he opens them and takes the water from you.
"Slowly..." you say, and take the bottle from him once he drinks a few sips. "Just breathe slow and deep," you say.
"I felt dizzy earlier," he says weakly. "Now it's better..."
"Do you want me to call someone?" you ask.
"No, it's fine."
He's not looking at you while talking, which gives you a feeling that he isn't being entirely honest with you. It strikes you again how lean and pale he is.
"If you're sure you don't want to call someone, then let's try and get back inside?"
You offer him your hand. He looks at you for a whole second before taking it.
"Get up slowly okay. And let me know if the dizziness returns..."
You help him up with both hands, eventually letting him lean onto you a bit while you both walk back. He stops you in front of the door.
"Can we go out? I don't want to go back in."
"Sure thing. Fresh air will do you good."
You fetch both of your jackets and leave for the forum upstairs. It's the closest open space you can think of.
"Do you want to talk about it?" you ask, handing him a glass of fresh juice from Cafe Yeongsan. There's a reading area in the forum that nobody ever uses. It's a pretty space in the corner with giant glass windows letting in plenty of light. You're sitting down on a soft rug, hidden from sight by some bookshelves.
"I'm only going to say this once. Don't take on responsibilities that you can't handle," he murmurs, eyes shut.
You glare at him - the audacity of this guy. And the way he flips.
"I wouldn't, but I don't see anyone else volunteering for your care either," you remark drily.
He snorts. "I'm messed up, Y/N."
"Yeah? How so?"
"I just am," he stares outside the window. You stay quiet, gazing at him.
"Then gather yourself back up," you reply. He turns to look at you.
"You said something about me being normal that day in Daegu," you pause. You've been meaning to say this for a while now. "It's not that I don't make a mess of things or become a mess myself, I just gather myself up after a while. I never gave up on myself, Yoongi, neither should you." Both of you scrutinize one another. "I don't know what exactly you're dealing with, but find a way out of it, arasseo?"
That last addition makes him chuckle.
"Can I ask - after I fell asleep, did something happen?"
Suga gazes at you. You had dozed off after RM left. You looked so peaceful, but also cold so he got you that blanket. What happened then? It was just the both of you. It felt nice for a while, but then what?
"...or is there some - some problem I don't know about...?"
"You," he says suddenly.
You choke on your juice. "Sorry?" you meant his health when you said problems, but where the hell was this conversation going now?
"What do you mean, me?" you probe when he doesn't say more. "Oh, hello," you tap his knee. He looks from the point you touched him to your eyes.
"See. This is what I mean. You have this - this -" he switches to Korean, "free vibe." You understand some Korean now, but pretend not to. He switches back to English. "I'm jealous of you Y/N," he scrunches his nose, "the way you're cool all the time."
"I'm really not," you answer, wide-eyed. "Okay. Maybe I don't overthink as much as you do. But are you legit blaming me for a panic attack?" you ask.
He gives a sad sort of laugh. "No, of course not. And it wasn't a panic attack. I really felt -" he makes a twirling sensation with his hands indicating vertigo.
A wave of relief hits you. He did look a lot better after the juice. You've struggled with panic attacks before. That cold, paralysed, terrifying feeling - you didn't want him to go through that - hell no.
"So you're - okay?" you ask tentatively.
He stares at you. "I almost fainted a while ago, Y/N, how is that okay?"
"Oh god, Min Yoongi you know what I mean!"
"No, Y/N, there is no terminal illness or a serious mental health issue with me as far as I'm aware."
"I don't know if I want to punch you or hug you at this point," you mutter without thinking. A slight grin lights up his face.
"Alright then, out with it, if you're not struggling with anything - and it's perfectly okay if you are - then this is because of your messed up diet, isn't it?"
"Ah, that," he switches to a cross-legged position. "I don't feel like eating at all, so I saw a doctor."
"And?"
"Turns out it was a side effect of this antibiotic I was taking," he touches his shoulder.
Okay, that was a fairly uncomplicated conclusion to the issue. As another weight lifts from your mind, it fully dawns on you how worried you had been about him. It scares you - how much you've grown to care.
"Ah," he rubs his shoulder as he speaks, oblivious to what's going on in your head, "I think all that traveling has messed up my system again, I couldn't eat anything this morning -"
He suddenly notices that you're giving him a death stare, "- are you upset?"
"Nope. Not at all," you say stiffly.
"Y/N," he holds your gaze, "you got scared, didn't you?"
"Nope."
He bursts out laughing. It's his typical gummy innocent laugh, and it makes it so hard for you to not let it go. Then, he does something unexpected. He places both his hands on your shoulders.
"I'm sorry for scaring you," his face still carries the impression of his laugh, but he means what he says. Strands of hair are coming loose from his beanie. His eyes are focused on yours from above his glasses that rest low on his nose. A very cute nose at that.
You scowl. "Just take care of yourself, alright?" You can't take his stare anymore without your heart bursting, so you throw your head back with a deep sigh, letting his hands support the weight of you and prevent you from falling backwards.
"Oi, oi what are you doing?" he chortles, gripping your upper arms so that you don't slip backwards. You simply groan in response, letting go of the tension in your neck. The rug underneath you is so soft that your bare feet sink in it.
"You're heavy, Y/N, I'm going to let go okay?" the laughter's back in his voice.
"Whatever," you say, getting ready to fall back into the rug but he doesn't let go. Instead, he grabs your arms and pulls you back up straight. Except you don't resist - so you both end up nearly nose to nose.
Your heartbeat stops. So does his. You still smell like coffee for some reason, he realizes. And that the tip of your nose is so pink. And your eyes - they aren't wholly dark, but a darker shade of brown. There's warmth radiating from you, and he can make out that you're surprised, but you don't draw yourself away. You're here - wow - you're here - he suddenly appreciates how amazing he feels when he is around you. He's nervous as hell, but it's brilliant - this feeling. He feels more alive than he's felt in ages. Life itself is here with you -
- Like nothing else matters, you think. For this one moment. Because you're here, watching him. And him, you. This is all you need.
"Y/N?" he whispers.
"Hmm?" your mind is on autopilot.
"Breathe."
"What - oh god," you shake yourself and pull away. It's his turn to shake his head. But he can't conceal his grin no matter how hard he bites his lip or turns away his face. You're too busy regulating your own scarlet self to judge him for his reaction. You're hot all over, and this is way more than what you came for today.
"Listen, I - need to use the restroom," you say while getting up.
"Oh - yeah, sure," he nods.
"And I'll leave after that," you add.
"Okay."
You pause before you walk away. "You'll be okay?"
"Of course."
"Just - call Namjoon or your manager."
"I will," he nods obediently.
"Right now."
"Aish," he purrs. You glare at him. "Okay I am - I am - see I texted my manager, I was going to meet him anyway." He shows you the screen of his phone as proof when you roll your eyes.
"I'm just worried - as a friend," you add defensively, regretting the last word the moment it tumbles out of your mouth.
"Yeah. Friends do that," he smirks. What the hell, Y/N, you scold yourself. "We'll talk about the next session later then?" he asks.
"Hmm, call me tonight. And ask V, won't you?"
He nods. He's still sitting down, leaning against the edge of a bookshelf and looking up at you. You walk away, sensing his gaze on you until you're out of sight.