So, a certain someone (I won't say who it is but her name starts with a T and ends with ragic and her account is lilmisfortunate ) made a chapter wherein she reacted to a badly written Creepypasta fanfiction. I kind of vowed to myself not to do that when I made this book because I was scared that people would call me mean, but fuck it, this is my specialty (okay it's not really but shut up), so I'm opening my giant old Quotev library with tons of bad Creepypasta fanfiction.
I recently read a bad Death Note fanfiction that had a good concept but was executed horribly so I'm still weeping over that and need to take my evil out on something.
It seems that the victim of such is this Jeff the Killer X OC story from a few years ago. I mentioned it in the first chapter of this book due to... Well, you'll recognize it.
Let's start.
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Dear Journal,
12 years ago, I was happy. I thought I lived in a world, where nothing could go wrong. Where nothing bad happened. Oh, how I was so wrong . . .
You know a fic is gonna be good when they start with diary entries and melodramatic rambles/random recalls of some event that happened, written as though it's happening in real time. Because that's absolutely what journal/diary entries look like.
12 years ago . . .
I ran around the parking lot with my BFF, Jess. We've been besties since we were babies. We were playing in abandoned parking lot, when there was a flashing light l realized my mommy was taking pictures of us. We stood there making poses for the camera. My mommy thought we should take a walk in the woods. It was still day, so, I didn't have problem. Neither did less. We walked around looking at the bugs, animals, and trees. When we made it home, we were tired. We walked the house to find everything destroyed. Mommy looked panicky. She kept repeating Were they here?' or 'They shouldn't have done this!' I was worried. Who was mommy talking about? Something crashed in one of the rooms. Mommy told us to stay where we were. She walked up stairs and into the room. She screamed. Then silence. We walked up stairs and into the room. We screamed because we saw my mommy hanging from the ceiling. Intestines everywhere. There was candy spilling out of her.
Did I already mention that the OC's name is Candy Johnson (it's in the blurb I'm not giving spoilers don't worry)
Back to the present . . .
Oh, how I remember that day. Mother got murdered and stuffed with candy. I giggled silently when we found her. Jess? Oh, she's dead. My first victim. Ah— Amazing.
Wait what
Date 10/2/2018
I sighed setting the journal down on the table next to me. I got up and went outside. I wore a black beanie, black combat boots, a black jacket, and black skinny jeans.
I probably have better things to worry about regarding Candy Johnson, but I'm so bullying her clothing style, because I bet that this was meant to be the pinnacle of edge but so far this is what all of my friends wore who wanted to dress alternatively but were too shy to do so so they wore just normal clothes except in black. (There's nothing wrong with dressing like this, it's just that this wish fulfilment OC seemingly has unlimited choices for a wardrobe, and they still decided on the "I'm scared to go full alt so I wore this instead" look)
I have bags under my eyes, because of lack of sleep. I have red eyes, long dark brown hair, and pale tan-ish skin.
Wait how are you both pale and tan (no the red eyes don't deserve a comment)
I walked into the park and smiled. Creepily. There was little girl who noticed me, but didn't notice the blood thirsty look on my face. She ran up to me and tugged on my pant leg.
Sounds fake, how's she gonna do that when you're wearing skinny jeans
"Do you wanna play with me?" She asked. I had the most amazing idea ever. "Sure. What game do want to play? I was thinking we could play hide and seek in the woods." I told her. Woods? Sounds familiar.
Immaculate foreshadowing
The woods was right next to park. She grabbed my hand and nodded. I giggled. This is gonna be a piece of cake' I thought.
Nooooo don't hurt the girl she did nothing wrong ):
I led the girl into the woods. Once we got a good distance away from the park, I let go of her hand and bent down to her level. "Okay, why don't you hide and I'll try to find you." I said and she ran off to hide. I called my friends to bring the children they found and explained to them what to do. "Hey, Candy, ready to play hide and seek?" I turned around and saw my BFF's Sam and Eliza. "Yep." We counted down and ran.
wHY ARE YOU TARGETING KIDS COULDN'T YOU TARGET ADULT MEN INSTEAD
No but unironically if someone's edgy self-insert is targeting kids then I just have to assume that they're the most annoying person in existing who thinks they're cool for disliking and bullying kids for literally just existing (you're not and I'll bite a chunk out of your face)
We found the kids in no time. We knocked them out and tied them to a tree. When one of them woke up, they screamed. Two of the children were dead.
):<
I laughed along with Eliza and Sam. "We were just like you." Sam said in a sing-song voice, putting her razor to the boy's neck. "Then something bad happened." Eliza whispered in the boys ear and got her axe ready to strike his head. "And now were way better than we were before!" I yelled excitement and sliced his stomach open with my sharp knife. Organs started poring out of his stomach.
That's not how human anatomy works pls
The boy was trying to yell for help.
I think he's just hurt considering that apparently his organs are falling out but alright
I gave Sam a thumbs up. Sam slit his throat. And Eliza smiled wickedly, and struck her axe in his head. Blood was everywhere. Before we left Sam got a glass jar and put his heart in it. We always take the heart as a souvenir.
How far away from the playground were y'all
Did you really have time to cut out his heart??? Like,,, that would not be easy to do? It'd so easily be botched because it's protected by a ribcage and may be difficult to locate if you're not a surgeon, which, judging by everything I've read so far, these girls aren't-
We turned and ran back to Sam's house because it was closer and we needed to get cleaned up quickly. What did we do with the bodies? We left them there. If anyone finds them, they have no proof that we did it.
You didn't wear gloves and long hair and had heavy shoes and you were the last person the girl you abducted was probably seen with and overall there's plenty of forensic evidence actually
We ran to her back door, quickly opened it, and ran inside. "That . . . was f-fun." Eliza said, clearly out of breathe. We took a shower one at a time.
No homo ):
Sam let us borrow some of her clothes. I was a black tank-top, black short shorts, and my black flats.
tHIS IS WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THE CLOTHES
Eliza was wearing a white T-shirt, grey sweat pants, and fluffy socks. Sam was wearing a white sports bra, long black sweat pants, and white slippers. Sam put our clothes in the washer and walked over to us when she was done. "So, what do you guys wanna do?" Sam asked. I tapped my chin. Just like that, a light bulb went off in my mind. "We can catch up with each others lives and clean our weapons while doing it." I suggested.
Big lightbulb
Eliza and Sam nodded. Eliza got soap, water and bleach. She put it on the floor and we sat next to it cleaning our weapons and taking about life.
Just girly things ✌
I woke up to see a boy staring at me.
Oh well hello there
I sat up and stared back at him. Realizing my friends were staring at him too, but he put all of his attention on me.
Of course he did
He chuckled. He was leaning against the wall, while me and my friends were sitting on the floor. "What do you want?" Eliza asked, she was about to summon her weapon. Did I mention were all mages? No, well now you know.
wHY DO CREEPYPASTA FANS KEEP DOING THIS WHY DID WE NEED TO FORESHADOW THAT SHE KNOWS THE NAME "WOODS" BUT NOT THAT SHE HAS MAGIC
The boy ignored her question and continued to stare at me. "You know, its rude to stare." Sam stated. I about to throw fire magic at him, I positioned my hand, ready to throw it at him. He put his hands up in surrender. "I'm came here for you three. My boss, he wanted to see you. Come with me." His voice kind a muffled, since he's wearing a mouth guard. He started walking to the back door. We summoned our weapons just in case. We followed him out into the woods. I could smell the rotting children. What a nice smell.
I want to cut off your toes
We stopped at mansion. "Wow." Eliza and Sam said in unison. I whistled in amazement. The boy gestured us to come in. We walked in, and it way bigger inside than it looked on the outside. A faceless man walked up to us. "Toby, please go to bed. I will handle the girls." The man told 'Toby'. Toby nodded and left up stairs, probably to his room. The man cleared his throat and gestured us to follow him.
Not Slenderman being a babysitter
We walked into a office. The girls and I awed in amazement. The man went behind the desk, that was placed in the room, and sat down on the brown leather chair. Three seats were placed in front of the desk, so, we sat in them. Eliza on the left, me in the middle, and Sam on the right.
I'm getting hardcore flashbacks to MSP where I would make movies and ALWAYS put my own avatar in the middle when there was a friend group of three standing somewhere. Y'know to clarify that I was the only character that actually mattered and the other two were just there to make me look less lonely
"So, I saw you girls murder those children. And I'm pretty impressed. You have skills. And I realized you don't carry your weapon, you summon it. Which means, your mages." The man spoke.
Very proud of you, such a good detective
We nodded, but Sam had to open her big mouth. With a wide smile, she said: "Candy is more than a mage! She can teleport, turn into all different kinds of animals, make things appear, etc. She can turn into a 'scary' monster, too! There's SO much Candy can do!"
AUTHOR NO PLS IT WAS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH
I gave Sam a(n) annoyed look. Eliza face-palmed. The man chuckled. "You're very talented. We could use one of you in the group. Oh! My name is Slenderman." He introduced himself.
(BTW, This Is When Slenderman Is First Starting The Creepypasta Group. So, That Means Jeff Hasn't joined, Yet).
Okay so this is the one thing you could've just let us figure out by ourselves so that the flow of the story wouldn't be interrupted but since it was the end of the chapter I'll allow it
I sighed and smirked and held out my hand to Slenderman. "Sure." I said and the girls nodded behind me. Slenderman shook my hand. "Great! You three go get packed. This is your new home." Slenderman happily. We cheered quietly and hurried to our houses.
I entered my house, walked up stairs and grabbed three suit cases. I started putting clothes one, I put a lot of snacks in another, and put pictures in the last one. When I got to the last picture, I looked at it intensely. It was a picture of me, my mother, and my father. I was four when he died. A great man, along with my mother. But how did become a killer? I don't know. I felt liquid on my face, so, I put a hand on my cheek. And, sure enough, I was crying.
Pls start elaborating on everything as much as on Candy's tears, we need it
I wiped my tears and put the picture in the suit case. I made sure they were strapped down, so, nothing breaks. I sighed, walked out the house and into the woods.
Bye mother. Bye father.
Wait didn't she take the picture with her though
Dear Journal,
It was just a few day ago that Eliza, Sam, and I moved into the mansion. It felt weird at first, but we got used to it. I, also, share a room with Toby. He's my only friend here. I'm not a social person and he noticed it. So, we became friends because both of us were socially-awkward. I want to talk to people, but I'm scared they might not like me. Just because were all killers, doesn't mean they not allowed to judge. I told Toby about it. And he just laughed. He said I could make lots of friends. But, just not BEN. I don't know who that is, but he sounds like bad news.
wHY DO THEY HAVE TO DO THIS TO BEN ALL THE TIME, SURE HE'S AN ASSHOLE BUT WHAT DID HE DO TO BE CONSIDERED WORSE THAN JEFF
I've talked to Slenderman some more. I asked if were friends. He patted my head and said 'Yes, of course we are'. Four friends. New record for me. Today we got a new person. I think, his name was Jeff. His name sounds so familiar. I want to talk to him, but I'm to scared. I'm not scared of anything, but being judge by other people. Like getting bullied at High School wasn't enough.
Oh mood
Oh! Got to go. Until I write in you next time journal, goodbye.
10/8/2018
I put my journal on the nightstand by my bed. I walked to the door and opened it. I stared at him in disbelief. It was a clown, but instead of being all colorful and happy, this one was black and white and looked psycho.
How do you even look "psycho" though someone pls explain
Cool. "Hello! I'm Laughing Jack!" He exclaimed. I gave a thumbs up and was about to close the door, until LJ stopped it with his foot.
You were gonna close the door in someone's face right after complaining about having no friends????
We got a new recruit. Don't you wanna meet him?" L.J asked with a puppy dog face. I winced at that face. I sighed a LJ grabbed my hand and ran down stairs. We made it to the living room, and there was a crowd forming. I let go off LJs hand and walked to the front of the crowd of people. My eyes widen.
Flashback . . .
Woods?
Sounds familiar. think, his name was Jeff.
Present . . .
Jeff and Jane were fighting. I didn't want my friend to get hurt, so, I had to do something.
What
I summoned my knife, getting amazed looks from people around me. I aimed at Jane's arm and threw it. I didn't like Jane anyway. Jane dropped her knife and yelled in pain.
Pls stop hurting my wife she's the victim here
Jeff looked at me surprised and smiled. Even though, he already had a cut smile, I could actually see his real smile.
Real talk would it hurt for Jeff to smile
Like my mouth corners already start hurting after I've been smiling at my S/O for ten minutes so is smiling a form of torture for Jeff now
The crowd dispersed, and Jeff walked to me. "Why hello. At least we meet again. Candy Johnson." Jeff said. I smiled back, looking up at him. I'm short. Get used to it.
Of course she fucking is
"Hehe. Why hello to you, too. Jeffrey Woods." I said. Slenderman teleported by us and teleported us back to his office. "Candy. Jeff. You have some explaining to do." Slenderman said in a stern voice. He was clearing watching Jane and Jeff fighting, and me throwing my knife at her arm. I stumbled on my words. Jeff elbowed me, to spit it out. "I threw the knife at Jane because I didn't her hurting my bestie.
BESTIE
Plus, I didn't like her anyway." I said truthfully. Slenderman was silent, waiting for Jeffs answer. Jeff his arm. "Urn ... I got into a fight with Jane because she kept talking trash about Candy." Jeff told Slender.
That's because Candy sucks now go apologize to Jane with gold ):<
Slenderman nodded and excused us. Jeff and I, sighed relieved. "I thought we were about to die." I told Jeff while walking to my room. "Me too." Jeff agreed. Jeff was looking at the ground, nervously. You know, I'm glad were friends, again." I was surprised. "Jeff, who said we were never friends?"
I feel like I'm not properly understanding this dialogue
We made it to my room and opened the door. Toby was laying on his bed, playing on his phone, until he noticed us. A look of fear on his face, got me confused. "Hehe . . . You saw the fight between me and Jane, didn't you?" Jeff asked nervously. Toby nodded. Jeff told he wouldn't hurt him and was just trying to hang out with a(n) old friend of his.
I like to think that Toby with an ax and Tourette's is more dangerous than Jeff with a knife but oh well
(Not to say that Tourette's is dangerous, more so pointing out that with motor tics it can be difficult to control them, so if you have a sharp weapon in hand then this could cause for an unpredictable outcome.)
Toby nodded relieved and continued to play on his phone. We sat on my bed and talked for hours, until told us it was time for dinner. We walked half-way down the stairs, when the mansion started to shake.
Huh
I almost fell down, when Jeff caught me held me to him. Me face would look like a tomato right now.
Why is that the priority
When the mansion stopped shaking, there was a cackle of laughter. Its voice was deep, and so loud, that I had to cover my ears. Slenderman teleported us to my room, where there's a better chance of living.
Wait why that
We heard shouting and thing smashing on the floor. Then silence . . .
It was quiet, too quiet. I got out of Jeff's embrace and headed out the door. Slenderman was standing bruised, bloody, and, possibly, a broken arm.
A tragedy
The thing that was here was definitely gone. Slenderman fell on the floor, bleeding to death. I gasped and ran down stairs to help Slender. "Jeff!! Grab the First Aid Kit Now!!" I yelled, scurrying to help Slender off the floor. What happened to hurt Slenderman this badly? Was it Him?
Gee I wonder who this could refer to, it definitely won't be anyone with horns or a Z name, that would just be such a surprise if it happened
??? P.O.V
I looked over the corner with Charles in my arms. I gasped at the sight. Slenderman was hurt! I hurried over to the girl, who was taking care of him. "Is he going to be okay?!" I asked. She smiled a bit, and patted my head. "Of course he is!" The girl smiled. "My name is Sally! What's yours?"
What was the point of an ominous POV switch if the person isn't ominous and going to introduce themselves within 50 words
Back to my P.O.V
"My name is Sally! What's yours?" Sally asked me. Sally had a dirty pink night gown, she had long brown hair, green eyes, pale skin, blood dripping down her face, and she was holding a brown torn teddy bear. "My name is Candy. Do you wanna help me make Slender feel better?" I asked Sally. Her face went from concern to happiness. Sally bounced up and down. "Yes!" She yelled, a little to loud, because Slender stirred a little. A placed Slenderman's head on my lap. I was letting him rest while we took care of him. All the other pasta's stayed in their rooms, scared to see what happened. Jeff came from up stairs and handed me the First Aid Kit. I nodded a 'thanks' and gave a thumbs up. Jeff sat on my left and Sally sat on my right. Okie Doki! Time to heal Slender.
(BTW, Candy could just use her powers to heal him, but it takes up a lot of energy for a healing spell. So, she's doing the good of fashioned way.)
Sobbing crying throwing up
I wiped my head with the back of my hands. I sighed in satisfaction. Slenderman laid on his bed, covered with bandages. My hands were so bloody they were dripping on my clothes. I groaned. Now I have to go wash them!!! UGH!!' I thought angrily.
Weren't you a super powerful mage or something who could,,, Idk abracadabra the blood away
I closed the door while walking out of Slender's room. As I past up the other pasta's rooms, I kept getting looks from them. Whispering. 'Why is she covered in blood?'
You're literally all killers
or 'Did she cause all the rusks?' were the main two questions I kept hearing. Sally popped out her room with a Band-Aid box. "I found it!! Now lets go help Slendy!!" Sally said excitedly. I rubbed the back of my head, trying to come up with a excuse that I already took care of Slender. "Oh, you did? That's wonderful! But . . . I . . . um . . . care of him. So, he wouldn't lose a lot of blood. Sorry you didn't get to help Sally." I said and rubbed my arm. Sally smiled widely. "Its okay!" She chirped,"Mr. Slendy man was in good hands!" She giggled and ran to her room. The pasta's felt guilty for accusing me, so, they decided to clean the mansion. I walked to
And that's it the last chapter stops mid sentence and Idk whether to be disappointed or relieved about that