a/n: just a little heads up before u read! i'm not a doctor so if you think something is probably wrong or unrealistic in this chapter, you're probably right!! and if you're in the field or studying, just know i'm proud of you! xoxo
Chapter 59
Rushing down the stairwell, neither of us have time to say anything. I look at Harry when we finally reach the bottom, but he bends down to remove the panel off the floor.
He's quiet but I know he's overthinking in his head. Whether it's about what he wanted to tell me on the rooftop or about the gunshots we heard, I don't ask. I only squeeze his shoulder before being the first to climb down the ladder.
Holding the ladder for him, I look over my shoulder towards the door. I hear yelling and Harry seems to hear it as well.
The worst possible thought comes into my head. "You don't think... the Infernos found this place, right?" I ask Harry as he slowly paces towards the door.
Reaching into the pocket of his sweats, he pulls out a pocket knife. "I don't know, but wait here."
Chills run up my spine as he reaches for the doorknob. Even though he tells me to wait, I walk close behind him for the chance to hear or possibly see what's going on.
"We didn't know what else to fucking do, okay?!" Paco is the one shouting. I recognize his voice when Harry steps into the hall. When he hides his pocket knife, I take it as a sign for me to step out of the supply closet with him.
"How about taking her to a fucking hospital?!" Eileen shouts back in panic.
"With the Infernos on our asses?"
"Oh, my God," I say when I see a faint Valentina in Paco's arms. She's bleeding from her neck, profusely.
"Paco, please... please fucking tell me the Infernos didn't see you drag her in here," Eileen shakily says and fear is noticeable in her demeanor.
"No! We were around the corner having a smoke and those fuckers pulled up on us again. They took off but now we're here so what the fuck are we going to do?!"
Unable to watch them bicker when somebody is bleeding out in front of me, I start pacing towards them. "How about shutting up for starters and stopping the bleeding?!" Looking at Paco, I then say, "You. Give me your shirt."
"She means now, Paco!" Eileen scoffs as she then helps hold Valentina up. When Paco finally takes off his t-shirt, I snatch it from his hands to press it onto her gunshot wound. I'm trying my best not to panic over all the blood, but the way she's still conscious gives me hope. "Where's the doctor? Don't you have an infirmary or something?" I'm asking Eileen.
"Um... I mean we have an infirmary, but not a doctor."
"Barely have a fucking nurse," Paco mutters and suddenly the panic inside of me is becoming hard to tame.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I say under my breath. "Did anyone bother to call an ambulance, at least?!"
When they don't respond, I curse under my breath. The t-shirt isn't enough to stop her bleeding. "The infirmary... Take her to the fucking infirmary," I order even though she's dying. I think she's actually dying.
As we move together, I find Harry. I'm about to say his real name until I remember that I can't. "Alex... Alex, I need you to do something for me."
"Yes?" He follows us and it's hard to ignore the fact that he's in front of people who would want to kill him if they knew who he really was.
I swallow thickly, making Valentina—the woman who wasn't particularly kind to me—my main concern right now. "It's a long shot but... call my mom for me."
My hand, full of blood, doesn't lift from off Valentina's neck as we make it into the room. As Eileen and Paco manage to lay her on the table, I realize they're looking at me from the request I made. "What?!" I snap. "You failed to take her to the hospital and now she's bleeding out. I'm not a fucking doctor but my mom is. So get me some gauze while I figure out how to keep her from fucking dying, for fucks sake!"
"You heard her," Eileen whispers to Paco before they both end up complying.
I release a breath as they find me gauze. At the same time, I tell Harry what number to dial. He stands next to me and it feels good to have him near this time.
But as he dials, I notice Valentina's eyes shutting. "Hey, hey, hey! Valentina, don't close your eyes. Look, Paco is here. Eileen is here," I say in effort to keep her awake. I then curse again when Harry tells me my mom didn't answer. "Try again."
"Those motherfuckers," Valentina then mutters, but when she does it causes more blood to pour from her wound.
"Sh! Don't talk, Valentina," I warn, and finally, I hear my mother's voice coming from the speaker on the phone Harry holds up.
"Mom!" I shout in relief.
"Joelle?"
"Mom, I need your help! Please, I need your help right now," I quickly say. "I have a girl on a table. Gunshot wound to her neck. She's conscious and I'm trying to stop the bleeding right now. What do I do, Mom? Please, tell me what to do."
It takes her a few seconds to react and to my surprise, she doesn't question anything. She goes straight into helping when she tells me, "Okay... It's a good sign that she's conscious, but we don't want her to lose a lot of blood. Are you holding pressure? You won't hurt her if you press a little more firmly."
Nodding to myself, I realize I might've not been applying as much pressure as I thought. "The gauze is soaked," I tell my mom.
"That's okay, just layer more. Don't remove it."
With his free hand, Harry is tearing out the gauze from its sterile packaging to hand to me. Just as my mom instructs, I layer more of it onto Valentina's wound.
"Do you think you can tell me more about the injury and where exactly on her neck is it?"
My mom's calm voice with no tone of panic causes me to calm down a bit. "Um... It's on her right side and a little above her collarbone."
"Do you happen to know if the gun was fired in close range or was it far?"
To that, Paco is the one to answer, "They kept their distance."
Not acknowledging the male voice through the line, she asks in return, "Best estimate, how many yards?"
"About... ten, fifteen, maybe? I'm sorry... I don't know," Paco says and he sighs in frustration when he decides to take a step back.
"That's okay," she responds. "Speaking she's responsive, the bullet is intact and it didn't hit her carotid artery or any other vascular—Joelle, how's her breathing?"
"She's breathing—" I pause when all of a sudden Valentina is gasping for air. "Mom! She can't breathe."
"Listen to me very carefully, Joelle. Her airway is closing from the swelling and you're going to do exactly what I say, okay?" She tells me before then listing the things I need for a small procedure before I can even grasp it. As Eileen scrambles to gather all that my mom had said, I have Paco then take over my job on applying pressure.
"You want me to put a tube in her throat?" I repeat and no amount of calm voices or Harry's hand on my back can stop the wash of nerves that hit me.
"Just do what I say," she reminds me before strictly giving me instructions that I have no choice but to follow as fast as I can. I don't think I've ever moved so quickly before. Doing exactly what she says, from finding her airway to cutting her open, and securing a tube, I hardly process any of it.
"She's breathing!" I hear Eileen shout the moment Valentina's chest rises from the open airway. I take a step back, sighing out of relief as my eyes then begin to well up. I think I hear my mother sigh in relief, too.
"Good, good, good," she then says through the line. "Listen, she's going to need surgery. I don't know your situation, but get that poor girl to a hospital. Can you do that? This should keep her stable enough."
Looking at Paco and Eileen, I'm panting. "Please tell me you can do that," I whisper.
"Of course... Paco, go and get as many Angelos as you can to help us," Eileen then orders, taking over when the bleeding isn't as bad anymore.
Just as I wipe my bloody hands off with a towel Harry gave me, I take the phone from him as well. I take the call off speaker and just as I figured, my mom asks me, "Did I just hear someone say Angelos?"
I sigh, allowing myself to find a place on the floor to sit. Feeling light-headed and tired, I close my eyes as I finally reply to her, "You did, Mom."
"Joelle," she says my name with disappointment. "What on earth are you doing?"
Tightening my jaw, I cover my face as if it will keep me from crying. "I'm... You don't know how relieved I am that you answered my phone call," I then tell her. I had to, especially when I never seem to get through to her.
"I was just heading home after a really long shift... Then I got this call from a strange number. Not once, but twice."
I end up sniffling. "Mommy," I slip out in a whisper when my voice wants to break. "I'm sorry... for how I walked out on you and Dad."
"The one apologizing should be me, Joelle," she admits. "Your dad helped me realize that you're a grown woman who can make her own decisions... Even if those decisions give me all kinds of anxiety, I have to trust you."
Instead of making me cry, she makes me laugh softly.
"I'm sorry."
"You just wanted to protect me... Mom, you have to know that I'm on your side. Everything you told me, about what you went through, I believe you," I express to her. I then bite down on my lip when bits and pieces of what Valentina had said—about my mom being knocked up when she was with Dante— hit me. "And if there's more of what you haven't told me yet, that's okay."
"Why do you say that?" She questions, curious as to if I know something.
"No reason..."
"Please, tell me you're being safe if you are where I think you are."
"I am," I assure. "Are you- Are you and Dad safe?"
"Honey, don't worry about us. We miss you. Are you sure you don't want to come back to Seattle and... I don't know, consider being a doctor? Because with all that pressure, Joelle, you did amazing."
I take a deep breath and hug my knees. As I rest my head, I smile from the praise I hardly ever hear. "I, um... I have other things to take care of right now."
"Worth a shot asking," I hear her mumble and when I lift my head, I see Valentina being carried out.
As I fall quiet, I look up to find Harry. He walks towards me.
"I love you," my mom then tells me while Harry drops to his knees to join me on the floor. "I know I don't say it much, but—"
"I love you, too." I find myself looking at Harry when he thoughtfully decides to keep me company as I'm on the phone with my mom. "And it's okay if you have trouble voicing it because I know. With all the things you do for me, I know."
"Please, take care of yourself."
When I blink, I realize just how long Harry and I have been looking at each other. I nod even though my mom can't see. "I'm going to let you go now," I say before whispering soft goodbyes. The moment I set the phone down, I scoot before eventually throwing myself into Harry's arms.
He squeezes me tight as I wrap my arms around his neck. Finally, I let myself cry when the fear of somebody dying was becoming too much to bear. Immediately, Harry's hands rub my back and he comforts me. He lets me cry it out and I don't lift my head from off his shoulder until I hear footsteps.
I sniffle about to wipe my tears away until I see just how covered in blood my white sleeve is.
"I'm sorry," Eileen says when she steps back into the room. "Just wanted to let you know that Paco and a few other boys were able to get Valentina in the car. They're taking her to the hospital right now."
"As she should've been taken to the hospital in the first place," I mumble, sniffling again when Harry helps me stand up with him.
"That's true," says Eileen, watching as I completely avoid looking at her when I turn in place. I find a sink on the far corner of the room and I walk over to wash my hands. "Paco was just really worried the Infernos would tail him and kill them both. I assume she killed the one she shot."
I tug my dirty sleeves up and then I run my hands underneath the water. I can only shake my head over what Eileen was saying as I scrub my hands with soap. "She could've died," I remind her. "You guys handled that so fucking poorly. I can't even begin to describe just how incredibly stupid it was to put all that trust in me. She can still die. For all we know, I could've done something wrong! I had no idea what I was doing."
"I know... I know, but I'm sure she'll be fine. If it wasn't for you and your mom—"
"We don't know if she'll be fine." I turn the water off once my hands are clean. I then take the paper towels Harry has ripped off for me. I thank him while drying my hands.
"Um, technically... The oath says that the Angelos are obligated to protect anyone who has ever saved the life of an Angelo."
Turning around to finally look at Eileen again, I hear what she says but the thought of getting my hopes up again would be crushing if they were to fall through. I press my lips together and I look down at Harry's hand before taking it into mine. Without saying much else, I start to make my way out of the room.
"Did you not hear me?" Eileen asks.
"I want to take a nap," I say by the time I reach the doorway.
"Jo—"
"She said she wants to take a nap," says Harry, making it clear that I'd rather not talk anymore. Once she backs off, he follows me down the hall.
I make it to our bunk. The room is practically empty, I notice, so I begin to tug off the sleeves of my shirt. Without questioning me, Harry covers me so that I can change without having to go to the women's restroom. After throwing on a fresh, clean, black t-shirt from the bag I left on the top bunk, I pull my hair out from the neck hole. "Thanks," I tell him.
"Are you really gonna take a nap?" He asks.
With a soft sigh, I nod. "I'm tired. I just want to take a pause and hope that girl turns out just fine. Is that alright with you?"
"It's more than alright."
I smile when the softness in his eyes makes me. I step closer to him, sliding my hands around his neck. "Thank you for always being so understanding," I whisper before planting a soft kiss on his lips.
"I just want the best for you, you know that."
After sharing another soft peck, my hands slide off his body. I then tug at the blanket of our twin bed so that I can get under it and take a much-needed pause.
HARRY
Of course, we get interrupted. Of fucking course it had to do with the very thing I've been trying to escape. When he said the Infernos is something that would follow me till the day I die, he meant it and I hate him for it.
I hate him so fucking much.
I look at Jo–or Elle–as she gets comfortable for a nap in our bunk. I bend over, planting my knee in the mattress and I lean in to kiss the top of her head. "I'll be back... Close your eyes, my gorgeous girl."
"Why? Where are you going?" She asks me in a voice as soft and sweet as cherries.
"The bathroom. I'll come back to check on you, I promise."
"Okay." She closes her eyes and I begin to step away in sync with the breath she takes.
I told her the truth. I planned to go to the bathroom, but I also had this urge to talk to the blonde. I didn't have any real reason to talk to her. It was best to stay away figuring I played a big part in the rivalry.
Though, I want to make sure she isn't playing Jo.
I find Eileen in the same room I found her and Jo talking in the night before. As I stand by the doorway, I see her on her knees in front of some altar. She's praying and I think she's speaking Italian under her breath.
As if she senses me, she pauses from her prayer to look over. "Do you mind?"
"No."
With a small huff, Eileen turns back to the altar. She closes her eyes again and continues where she left off. After a few seconds, she blesses herself and stands up after kissing her fingers. While she dusts off her knees, she watches when I invite myself into her office. "What's up, Alex?" She calls me by the right fake name this time.
As I pace myself further into the room, I look around but there isn't much to see.
"You don't talk much, do you?" Eileen points out, walking behind the desk only to drop down in her chair.
"Not with people I don't like," I say.
"You don't like me?" She pouts at that. "I was really hoping we could be friends."
I huff at that and I reach for the chair across from her desk. As I pull it back, I take a seat and lean far back.
"Did she tell you about us? About how we met?" She raises an eyebrow, but I can tell it's pure curiosity when she asks. "She did," she then declares when the tightness of my jaw might've confirmed it.
"That's not why I'm here," I feel the need to let her know. Although the concept of my angel being touched, kissed, or held by another person fills me with raging jealousy, I could never ever judge her for it.
She hums softly. "Then if you're not here to kill me... What are you doing in my office without Jo?"
"She's visibly upset at you," I say because I noticed it. "She wasn't this morning. What the fuck happened?"
Eileen sits up from her office chair. She has another pout on her face, but she avoids eye contact with me. Instead of answering me right away, she reaches into a drawer attached to her desk. She plops a bottle of liquor onto the surface followed by two glasses. "I got her hopes up, I think. She didn't want to talk to the Angelos but I convinced her to. I swear, I really thought everyone would want to help Jo out, but Valentina—you know the one that came in with a bullet in her neck—she had some not nice things to say about her mom... Drink?"
As she's about to pour liquor into the second glass, I shake my head. "I don't drink."
"Shoot... like ever? Out of choice or are you like a recovering alcoholic?"
She's really fucking nosey.
"Do you really want to help Jo out or are you just fucking with her?" I spike an eyebrow at her.
Drinking from her glass, she then frowns at my question. She swallows the burn down her throat. "Of course, I want to help Jo. Why? Does she think I'm fucking with her? Did she tell you that herself?"
I shrug her worried questions off. "I just don't want her getting hurt," I say with honesty. "What happened in that infirmary, it's going to take a toll on her if that girl doesn't come out of it alive."
"Valentina will come out of it alive."
"See, Jo would have agreed with you. She's the biggest optimist I know. Watching that part of her fade all because she's running out of options, it's fucking brutal."
Eileen sighs and she takes another drink. Rolling the liquor around in her glass after a sip, she then looks at me. "I'm on her side, Alex... I could give a shit about some family drama, truly, but it's the other Angelos. It's like... fuck, they're only seeking revenge on Dante, you know?" She leans forward as if she's about to head into a rant. I fucking hope she isn't. "And albeit yes I want to see that motherfucker dead... it's not that easy."
It's definitely not easy. I know that better than anyone.
"They're obsessed, Alex. So obsessed with also killing every Inferno they see. Do you think I support all the shootings that go on between them? Fuck, no. I hate the violence. I've told them multiple times to stop partaking in that shit, but who the fuck am I?" She then laughs and it might be at her pain. "Honestly, the only reason I haven't fucking killed myself is because of this safe house... Holy fuck, why am I telling you all of this? We aren't even friends."
I let out a chuckle, having it slip.
"Wait, can we be friends?"
"No," I say way too quickly, but it seems to make her grin.
"In all seriousness, Alan... If—No, when Valentina makes it through her surgery alive and well, the Angelos are gonna have no choice but to get their asses to Seattle."
I nod, holding onto that hope if Jo can't. "Good," I then whisper because I have a feeling Dante has Infernos watching her mother's every move by now. He's that fucking invasive.
"You're so lucky you aren't personally involved with any of this gang shit," she states even when it's awfully untrue. She then finishes her drink. "I would do anything to be in your shoes right now, Alex... Especially when... you got the girl."
Sitting up in my chair, I scoff at the smirk she gives me. "Don't fucking forget it, either," I say about Jo being all mine. I never came in here with the intent to be territorial, but Eileen brought it out of me.
"I'm just saying, don't fuck it up because I will scoop right in," she playfully warns even though I believe her.
Standing up, I shake my head with another soft laugh. "We're done here," I mumble because all I want to do is go back to my Jo... my Elle.
"Yeah, yeah... Listen, I'll find you guys when I have an update on Valentina," Eileen says all while pouring herself another drink.
"Thanks," I mumble, then leave in hopes that the next time I have to hear Eileen talk, she'll have good news.
Making my way back to Jo in our bunk bed in the very last row of the room, I find her sound asleep. I sigh, thinking she must be drained.
I kick off my shoes and I carefully begin to lift the blanket just so I can squeeze myself in. She even left a bit of space for me, I'm sure of it as I'm able to fit.
My girl shifts, readjusting as I wrap my arms around her body but she remains asleep. With her back against me, I kiss her head and the familiar scent of her pretty hair brings me at ease.
Holding her, I never thought I'd allow myself to get this deep. I once believed I was incapable of feeling the way I feel whenever I'm with her.
She makes me feel.
I'm now convinced she also makes the stars shine at night. She makes the flame on a birthday candle dance. She makes the flowers in a garden bloom. She makes the butterflies in the sky flutter their wings. She makes the sky turn pink and purple when the sun is about to set. She makes the ripest strawberry sweet and she makes me believe in happy endings.
—
random thought, pierced harry would so be a swiftie.
<3,
mila!