𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐓𝐖𝐎 — truth be told
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 of the fire broke through the night. The orange and yellow embers danced along an old slab of wood that Kaz had found by the stump of a tree, engulfing it whole.
The sky was a deep blue, edging into black; stars splattered across the cloudless canvas. It was a clear winter night filled with a bitter cold that was enough to make Kaz's nose turn red, even beside the heat of the fire.
He had secluded himself after watching Aleksa patch Inej up; they had both taken care of each other so many times before and now, because of the failure they'd all partaken in, they might not have the chance to do it again. They might leave one another side... it'd be an odd sight to see.
He had come back to the Slat on numerous occasions only to find Inej seated at a table with a needle and thread in one hand, whilst Aleksa's hand was gripped tightly in the other, blood spilling over her glowing skin. Aleksa would always seek out fights and her excuse was always the same, fun. Kaz knew differently. It was for control.
Aleksa had given away snippets of her childhood, usually the good, yet somehow he'd manage to snag slivers of the bad too. Her brother, the Darkling, wasn't quite the brother that Aleksa would describe him to be. She'd look on with stars in her eyes as she rattled off stories of herself and her dear brother... And she'd brush away the stories in which the General would turn cold and lash out.
Aleksa liked things to be pretty, but everything has its cracks and scars. She would grin as she spoke of her brother and would simply shrug when somebody echoed some of her words; 'he'd hit you?' or 'he left you in the dark?'
She never saw the problem, for it seemed that General Kirigan had latched his claws so very deep within his sister. He had twisted her views, and made it seem like every harsh punishment was just and out of love.
How could Aleksa, someone so headstrong and stubborn and smart, remember the bruises he'd give her with a smile?
Then again, Kaz Brekker knew how it felt to look at one's older brother as though they'd hung the night sky themselves. They could do no wrong.
Aleksa had lingered by the door to the barn, growing restless as she felt the damn thing swinging back and forth, bumping into her shivering back. Cas had perched upon her shoulder, nipping at her ear rather painfully. Even so, she took the small moment of quietude to watch the golden glow that Kaz bathed in. She was absolutely enamoured, and it was torturous.
He blinked, finally allowing his eyes some rest against the gleam of the fire. That was when he saw the Summoner in his peripheral, blending into the shadows even despite the glow before him.
His voice was low and even. Nonchalance tangled within his words, "Are you hungry? Or are you saying goodbye too?"
Aleksa rolled her eyes skywards as she trampled through the damp leaves and did her best not to slip on the mud. She paused beside him, slumping onto the crate he perched on. There was an inch between them, close enough for him to breathe without the waves drowning him... but had it been anybody other than Aleksa, that oyster-shucking knife in his coat sleeve would have likely embedded itself into their skin.
The Grisha held her hands closer to the flames, relishing in the warmth as she watched her white fingertips bleed back to pink, "Why would I be saying goodbye?"
"I assumed you'd be leaving alongside Inej." Kaz frowned at the bitterness in his voice. He tossed a scowl to the bird that somehow managed to eye him and Aleksa at once.
Aleksa had caught it too, and despite herself, she felt her lips curl higher, "If Inej wanted me to stay, I'd consider it. But... I don't want to stay in Ravka."
"No?"
"Ketterdam is my home. I might be Ravkan, I might have grown up here, but I don't belong here."
He said nothing more and Aleksa wanted to lurch at him, maybe slap his cheek and complain about his ridiculously sharp cheekbones after. Perhaps throw a crate at him, maybe even dangle his head of silly hair over the fire. He really couldn't summon an ounce of charm to converse with.
"You're the worst." She muttered softly, fingers drawing a spiral into her knee. Her eyes slowly moved from the crackling flames and landed on the side of his temple. His eyes were no longer a stagnant cup of bitter coffee, but as the flames made them glow, they looked like a pot of tea left in the sunlight, specks of honey blossoming as the flames grew brighter. She turned away, hiking her shoulder higher to spur Cas to move. He landed in her lap. "You're the worst."
She didn't even believe her own words.
But Kaz did, "I know." His spine straightened as he glared at the fire, still yet to meet her eyes, "You'll come back with me then?"
"Of course I will, pretty boy."
"I hate that name."
"I know. That's why I like it."
Aleksa was smiling now, even if it was directed towards her hands that sat lazily upon her lap drinking in the warmth of the fire. That smile faded, "Kaz?"
The Bastard of the Barrel stilled, his breath caught in his chest. Like an old crone, Aleksa restrained from using his name unless she was vexed with him. He supposed he ought to be thankful about the fact, for he could stride past her when his name was uttered and act as though he hadn't heard a thing. He'd done it once. Didn't end well.
"Why is Tante Heleen getting your shares of the club?"
His lips parted, only to close again. Had he really expected Inej to keep such a detail to herself? He should have known well enough by now that Aleksa and Inej shared everything and anything; there were no secrets between Shadow and Wraith.
"Kaz?" She prodded the silence.
He inhaled a deep breath, crisp air clearing his throat as his gloved fingers curled tighter around his cane. There was no use in lying or keeping it to himself any longer, she was going with him, staying with him, and she'd inevitably find out on her own.
"You said it yourself." His voice was as rough as gravel grinding against gravel, "If Inej couldn't come, then you wouldn't — neither would Jesper. I gave Heleen my shares to keep if I didn't return with the Sun Summoner."
"You gave your shares away so that we'd all come?"
"I couldn't do it alone."
Those words were strange to hear from him. It was infamously known that Kaz Brekker did things alone; even if he did have his Crows.
Aleksa didn't often gift people with her small smile that seemed to make her face appear warm rather than coy. She could throw about smirks and those flirtatious little grins, but this one was warmer than the fire as she leaned closer to the Bastard, "You could have told us."
"Could I?"
"You don't trust us?"
Aleksa sighed at the stillness, leaning back against the crate that was piled high behind her as her fingers filed through Cas's feathers, the creature hummed in appreciation, "I trust you, I wouldn't be here otherwise, I wouldn't have —" She wavered, "I wouldn't have opposed my brother."
There were not many people that Aleksa would have crossed her brother for, just a handful; each of those few were with her. Kaz, Inej and Jesper. She deemed them family, as she did with Aleksander and she'd never let anybody hurt them.
Kaz bit his tongue, words that Aleksa wouldn't want to hear were on the verge of spilling out. She'd likely tell Cas to peck his eyes out, or she'd steal his cane and smack him but either way, Kaz couldn't keep them to himself, "You didn't just oppose him, Aleksa. He would have killed me."
She remained silent, picking at the skin of her thumb, teeth sinking into her bottom lip; any other time, when any of her Crows would try and speak against her brother's actions she'd shake it off. She knew him, nobody else did. But she couldn't deny the rage that had glinted within his eyes upon seeing Kaz before him. She couldn't deny the anger that rippled through the shadows. Their calm whispers that called out to her had shifted to shrill screams.
"He isn't who you think he is." Kaz added, speaking into the silence, and when she didn't answer, he took his chance to speak again, "You've slipped up before. You've told us about the punishments you'd receive from him —"
"— Don't." She muttered softly, fingers finding solace within Cas's warm feathers. The creature shuffled on her lap, heads nuzzling into a palm, "He's still my brother."
"You're terrified of him."
"Maybe, but I love him."
It was true. No matter how many times his palm collided against her cheek, no matter if bruises and bumps sprouted on the skin of her arms; she would always look up to her brother with wide and doe-like eyes. The way any litter sister saw a powerful older brother. He had saved her from the loneliness of the orphanage, he had finally shown her that she had a purpose and a family. So if suffering through fits of rage and disappointment was the price of keeping such treasures, she would suffer again and again.
It had only been recently that she had truly realised the extent of Alexander's rage. Aleksa ran with thieves and thugs, yet even they didn't strike at her in moments where her brother might have.
She felt heavy, as though Jesper had thrown himself atop her like a curling cat; he'd done it before and she'd been unable to breathe with his bones puncturing her organs. This time, however, there was no joy in watching his smiling face, or laughter as she scrambled to push him away. It was an invisible weight that was dragging her down. The truth.
Aleksa was perfect. That was what everybody saw; yet Aleksander saw a project. It hurt more than she'd care to admit... so maybe that was why she pushed the feeling away and turned a blind eye to it once again.
Kaz had moved his sights from the flickering flames to the stoic lines upon Aleksa's face. He hated that look; the one where he couldn't tell what the hell she was thinking. She infuriated him; her smiles, her frowns, everything infuriated him because he couldn't pull her apart piece by piece and see what secrets she held inside. He could have asked what she was thinking, he wanted to, but he didn't want her to know that.
They had never really spoken many words of her brother; she was reluctant to tell, and even though Kaz would never show it... The mention of the word brother sent him spiralling. Every time Aleksa would recall a memory of her brother with a smile he'd feel sick. His hands would itch, his skin would crawl and it would feel like water was spilling into his throat drowning him from the inside out.
He thought of Jordie.
He wanted to scream that she was naive for believing that so much cruelty was a language of love from her brother. He wanted to tell her that she was a fool and was far too good for the words and actions she'd put up with. But he understood it. Jordie had given in to his greed, and it had left Kaz all alone... But still, Kaz missed him. Still, Kaz loved him.
So his lips remained planted together, unmoving as they both watched the flames chew away at the crackling log. Two impossibly broken people sat before a dying fire.
Their only chance of escape was to go the very way they'd arrived; this meant that the crows had trekked through dawn as chilling dewdrops soaked their ankles and bitter air stung their cheeks like nettles. The sun had barely begun to rise when they had started out, prompted by Inej who had insisted that her rest had left her revitalised. Even so, Aleksa kept a close eye on her.
Now all chill of the morning had sunken into the earth as the sun shined high over the rolling field the crows had settled upon. They were all on their fronts, bellies pressing into the dirt as they kept themselves hidden within the swaying blades of grass, watching as soldiers perused the sight of the train that had somehow gotten them through the fold.
Aleksa restrained from running in the opposite direction. The thought of hopping back into the creaking deathtrap that was now littered with holes and scrapes — thanks to the wonderful Volcra — was a nightmare. Yet Kaz had insisted that they stake out the site and wait for the soldiers to disperse.
Inej was the first to speak, her voice hardly above a mutter as she picked a blade of grass and rolled it between two fingers, "How many are there?"
Kaz responded instantly, "Two." He waited, watching their silhouettes dance through the field as they circled the machine that would carry them back through the fold. Back home.
He was well aware of the stillness beside him, even despite the gap between himself and Aleksa. She was tense, afraid, and now the rest of them finally understood why. Each of them had witnessed the horrors of the Fold and each of them were hesitant. Yet neither had scars from the Volcra like Aleksa did, and neither of them could ever understand how the Fold itself, felt.
Kaz, Jesper and Inej saw a black curtain with monsters waiting on the other side. Aleksa saw her past, her bloodline and its mistakes, and she saw potential. Her potential. That was the most frightening part; knowing that if she really tried, she might be able to create something akin to those billowing shadows that stretched high into the sky.
"At some point, one of them will have to go and tell a superior what they found," Kaz continued, though his eyes had strayed to Aleksa's fidgeting fingers, promptly ignoring the bird that perched on her back, acting as though his bunched up coat was a nest, "We'll go in then."
"Not to be that person, Kaz, but are you sure you can drive that thing?" Jesper asked as his hand fled back to his pistol; one trip through might have gone... not exactly well, but they had survived, thanks to his bullets. But to pull such a stunt again? Jesper knew his luck, hell he tested it every day, but even he knew this was a gamble they wouldn't win.
"Yes." Kaz almost snapped, "On the way to Kribrisk, whilst you were hugging bait —"
"Milo." Two voices corrected at once and Kaz had to inhale a heavy breath to refrain from tossing a stone at both Aleksa and Jesper.
Aleksa waited expectantly, shrugging a shoulder towards him.
Kaz knew she wanted him to repeat his sentence and pay tribute to the silly little goat, but that was a request to which he would vehemently avoid. He met her gaze, "I was memorizing Arkens timings."
"Of course you were," Aleksa muttered with a roll of her eyes as she flung her sights back to the view that made her skin crawl.
Kaz Brekker was nothing if not infuriating; whilst she was shivering and cowering within the hunk of metal, he had been keeping track of timings. How very Kaz. Still, that wasn't enough for Aleksa to feel comforted. Timings wouldn't keep the Volcra away, and the train itself had been opened like a book by the damned creatures. They'd have no protection.
"Don't get me wrong, pretty boy," She continued, encapturing Kaz's attention once more, "I don't doubt that you have the timings... and I don't doubt that you could somehow find a way to make it work... But what about the coal? What about the roof? What about the Volcra?"
"We'll find the coal, we'll have more fuel to go faster."
"You ignored a very vital question of mine." Aleksa reached behind her, flicking Cas's head as the feathery thing pecked at her hair, "The Volcra. That last trip was pure luck."
Jesper coughed, his hand slammed to his heart, "Luck? You have such little faith in me."
"I trust you with my life in a fight, Jes, but I don't trust anyone with those things."
"That's — yeah that's fair." the Sharpshooter conceded, his own skin crawling at the thought of the beasts. He didn't particularly enjoy being the only thing between life and a very shadowy death
"It'll be fine." Kaz brushed their worries aside, though he too, wasn't quite sure how they'd fight the creatures off. It was easier without Arken by their side. They could show their strength; Aleksa could bend the shadows, Inej had her knives and Jesper his bullets.
Aleksa hissed, her face contorting as she flung a glare towards Kaz, "It'll be fine? Are you kidding?" How could he possibly be underestimating the threat he was throwing them towards? He'd seen it for himself. "Who's to say the stupid thing won't blow up and —"
The irony was almost too much. Jesper wanted to laugh, and Inej wanted to close her eyes and drift back to sleep. Aleksa, however, had paused as her words had been uttered, for the air was split by a blast of fire.
The train had done exactly as Aleksa had stated. Pieces of metal were flung through the air, each one singed and carrying a spark. The atmosphere had been polluted with smoke, a smoggy film glossing over their eyes. At the very centre was what remained of their way through the Fold; it was nothing more than a cluster of sharp and broken metal smothered in hungry flames.
Even the two soldiers had retreated, guns slung over their shoulders as they finally left the wreck behind. They were no doubt chuckling over the work they no longer had to complete or investigate.
"Well, then." Aleksa sighed as she slumped closer to the ground, her forehead planted on her crossed arms. There was a part of her that had wished she'd kept her words to herself, as though she managed to bring them to fruition as she spoke them... yet even though the train had been their only plan to cross the Fold, she couldn't help but feel a slight sense of satisfaction as the heat of the explosion glossed over her form.
She had heard Kaz sigh to himself and she'd heard Inej mutter a Suli saying beneath her breath. Jesper, however, had spoken her very thoughts, "Too soon to appreciate the irony?"
He received a rather pointed look from Inej, and a glare so heavy from Kaz that Jesper had to turn away and shiver. He had only wanted to lighten the mood, but it seemed that Kaz was presently as sour as an unripe plum, and Inej had quite clearly stepped into her motherly boots once more. That furrow between her black brows made him feel like a child again.
Aleksa wanted to cackle at him, yet all that tumbled from pursed lips was a huff. It went unspoken, but they all knew there was just one option left; one they were trying to avoid. The train was gone, blown to pieces to be more accurate, thus only the skiffs were left.
The very skiffs that were controlled by the Darkling. They'd survived one run-in with him and Aleksa had gotten away unscathed... But could they really muster enough sheer luck to do it again? Saint's knew that Jesper had as little luck as a man who went about smashing any mirror he found.
Dread replaced the fear that the Volcra had sparked; Aleksa was often steeped with overwhelming confidence, she knew who she was and what she could do. She trusted her crows and their honed skills, but this was something even their slippery selves would struggle to accomplish.
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DATE: 22/12/2022
:･ﾟ★i just love Kaleksa <3
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