"Do teachers go anywhere special
when they die?" said Cohen.
"I don't think so," said Mr Saveloy gloomily.
He wondered for a moment whether there
really was a great Free Period in the sky.
It didn't sound very likely.
Probably there would be some marking to do."
― Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
40. The Taming of the Shrew
A stair had no right having this many steps, or being so steep; it wasn't safe! A lawsuit waiting to happen. If they had lawsuits in Middle-earth, that was.
Kat nervously peered back at the deep abyss that was growing behind her, immediately wishing she hadn't when the usual weightless lurch appeared in her stomach. She looked upwards instead, hoping to find she was nearing the end of the climb, but no better luck there. All she could see was more steps.
As she continued the strenuous ascent, another sensation was slowly making itself known: thirst. She still had lots of lembas, but the dry waybread didn't help at all there. Where would she find water? And – this being the path to Mordor, and all that – would it even be safe to drink, if she found any?
A cat could survive without food for days, but without water she was doomed.
Oh well. It was pointless to worry about tomorrow – it would worry about itself, as usual. Trying to ignore her thirst, and push down all thoughts of dying of dehydration, Kat steadfastly continued.
/\_ ,._ ,.
( ಠ _ ಠ )
She did reach the top of the long stone ladder at last, weary and with aching muscles from the novel exercise of step-jumping, only to find that the track still went uphill. She needed a massage and a good night's sleep – not more climbing! On a more positive note, the scent of the hobbits and Gollum had become a bit stronger, which must mean she was gaining on them.
Not wasting time to rest, Kat trotted up the winding path, smoothly evading the many rocks and boulders that littered it. Thank God she was a cat! A human would have had it much harder both on the stair before, where her cat's agility and clawed paws had been really helpful, and on this uneven surface as well.
She kept close to the sheer cliff on her left, suspecting she would not at all like to examine the chasm on her right more closely. A glance in that direction indicated a vast emptiness.
Why must there be so many heights in Middle-earth? It clearly was no place for acrophobics.
The path changed again, now into a new stairway. Kat hissed at the sight. Though this one was less steep, it was painful to jump from step to step again with her aching joints, and there was a cool wind whipping her face as if the mountain wanted to hold her back. It reminded her a bit of Caradhras, minus the snow.
Oh, snow... If only there had been snow here too! That, or water. Lots, and lots of water... Sweet, fresh, wet and clear, pooling on her tongue, moisturizing her dry throat and forming gleaming droplets on her whiskers.
No! She mustn't think about water. Focus! She could do this. Her prey must have come here only yesterday, and unlike a small cat, they would have to tread slowly and carefully on the treasurous steps. If she hurried she could catch up with them, and with luck, they still had full water bottles!
The thought invigorated her. Making up a little song in her head (to the melody of 'row, row, row your boat'), she broke into a trot.
Up, up, up I go. Hopping on a step. Hoppity-hoppity-hoppity hop! Hopping on a step. Up, up, up I go...
When the second stair ended, Kat's nose led her to a crevice between two boulders. Here the hobbits' scent was extra strong, and she guessed they had slept for a while there, out of the wind.
The tracks continued through a ravine, and up to a cave opening. A worrying smell emanated from it: a combination of old dung, carcasses and bones, and a strange, dry scent she couldn't place at all. It didn't remind her of anything she had experienced as a cat.
But there was nothing for it. Squaring all four shoulders, Kat trotted inside. What else could she do?
After a few turns, the little light that had spilled through the opening waned completely, which meant even a cat couldn't see a thing. Luckily she had the trail she was following, or she would have easily gotten lost.
The tunnel had a smooth floor and walls, and was warm and dry, devoid of the dampness so common in caves. Still no luck there. With the dusty heat, she soon began to feel like she was trekking through a desert. Only darker. And smellier...
A while later, the tracks suddenly divided; the hobbits continuing in one direction, and Gollum in another. Kat stopped, irresolute. What to do now?
Before she could decide, she heard someone shouting ahead: "The pass, Sam! The pass! Run, run, and we'll be through before anyone can stop us!"
It was Frodo's voice! Forgetting her mission in her relief to realize he and Sam were alive, Kat began to run in the direction of the sound.
Soon, the tunnel became a bit lighter, and now she saw two darker forms running – hobbit sized. She was just about to meow to them when something soft and slimy blocked her way, and before she could stop, she ran headfirst into it. A curtain of sticky tendrons had caught her, hard and wiry, impossible to break. What on earth was it?
Struggling desperately, Kat only became more tangled, like an insect in a spider's web.
Spider. But surely...
No... No, no, no! There could not be a spider big enough to produce silk as thick as a cat's tail!
But as she glanced around in the tunnel, her suspicion was confirmed. There were dense, huge clusters of gray web on all sides, with only a narrow rift cutting through, and the shape of the weave was unmistakably spider-made.
Kat had run into a giant cobweb, and any moment now its owner might return, hungry and eager to devour its catch.
Hissing in terror, she squirmed and thrashed this way and that, imagining every moment to hear the patter of many feet. Eight, to be exact.
Ta-tap, ta-tap, ta-tap, ta-tap. When the light footfalls approached not much later, Kat briefly thought she was imagining them too, before realizing they were real. The spider was coming! Good God, it really was! She was dead meat now.
Forcing herself not to move or breathe, she listened to the creature coming steadily closer. Maybe with luck, it wouldn't see her? But it might smell her. Could spiders smell? Did they even have noses?
Then her nose picked up the creature's scent, and a wave of relief flooded her as she realized who it was. Gollum! Thank God, it was only Gollum!
He was murmuring to himself, an endless, whining litany: "Nassty little hobbitses, think they are so clever and scares old Shelob with horrible elf-light. And then Master's sword cuts a path through her web. Oh, yes, they think they are safe now, but she has many ways out. Yes indeed, precious, nassty hobbitses will see!" He coughed, a deep, throaty cough that made him sound like an old smoker. "She will catch them, and eat them, and Sméagol will save the Precious! I wants it. I wants it. And I shall have it! Oh yes."
A small, wiry form emerged from the shadows, crooked and bent, with large eyes that shone eerily in a pale, round face. He was galloping on his hands and feet, mumbling as he went. "Shelob is close now, Sméagol can smell her. Filthy hobbitses will get what's coming for them."
Who was he talking about? Kat sniffed in the air, and there was that strange, dry smell again, emanating from somewhere nearby. Her heart started to pound faster again. It must be the spider!
Gollum passed close by her, and either he was too preoccupied with his gloating about what was coming for the hobbits, or the spider smell concealed her scent, for he seemed not to notice Kat.
When he was gone, she began to furiously wriggle in the net again, bouncing this way and that like a bungee jumper.
There was a ripping sound, and at last she was free. The force of the rebound sent her reeling through the passage, rolling and tumbling to a halt.
On shaking legs she rose, and discovered what had happened. Her little harness had broken in the seams. The remains of it still dangled from the threads of the web, while the contents of the bags lay spilled on the cave floor: the packages of lembas, and Gimli's glittering geode.
Kat filled her mouth with lembas crumbs, and with a last, long look at the geode she turned her back and ran after Gollum.
She caught up with him just as he exited the tunnel, but what was worse, she also caught up with the monster he had spoken of. The spider jostled her giant, pitch black body out from a jagged hole in the sheer rock wall just outside the cave. Her long legs were hairy, and above two restlessly moving mandibles she had more eyes than should be allowed on a single animal.
Moving with uncanny speed, she scuttled after Frodo.
Sam discovered the danger, and yelled a warning: "Look out behind! Look out, Master! I'm–"
His voice was abruptly cut off by Gollum, who had jumped on him from behind and covered his mouth with long, bony fingers. "Got him!" he whispered. "At last, my precious, we've got him, yes, the nassty hobbit. We takes this one. She'll get the other. Oh yes, Shelob will get him, not Sméagol. He promised. He won't hurt Master at all. But he's got you, you nassty filthy little sneak!"
A furious struggle followed, where Gollum did his best to strangle Sam, who in turn tried to stab the creature with his long dagger.
Kat's gaze darted from Frodo, zigzagging between the cliff walls to avoid getting caught by Shelob, and Sam who fought for his life with Gollum. Deciding she couldn't do much for Frodo, Kat made a huge leap and landed hissing and spitting on Gollum's back, digging her claws deep into his skin, easily piercing through his thin clothes.
"Ahh! What is it? What is it?" he squealed.
Sam took the opportunity and rammed his staff square into Gollum's face, making him reel backwards, and Kat with him. She fell hard against the rocky ground and the wind was knocked out of her lungs.
Bleeding profusely from his nose and still wailing, Gollum scurried away.
Sam seemed not to have noticed Kat who lay dazed and struggling to breathe nearby. Instead he started after Gollum, his normally so friendly face distorted into a mask of rage, but the creature had already disappeared into the darkness of the cave.
Turning again, Sam ran back to Frodo and the spider. She must have poisoned the hobbit somehow, for he was motionless while she busily wrapped him in silk like a big burrito.
"Frodo! Frodo!" Sam whimpered.
Not minding him in the least, Shelob continued her work. She was starting to drag her prey in the direction of her lair.
Sam bent to pick up Sting, Frodo's sword that he must have dropped. It shone a pale blue. That meant there were orcs nearby – as if not the monstrous spider was trouble enough!
"Leave him alone! Arrgh!" yelled Sam, sounding suddenly furious as he attacked. Tiny though the blade was, it easily sliced off part of one of Shelob's eight legs, and next it took out one an eye. Unfortunately, many remained.
Now Sam went under the giant spider, and using both hands, he tried to drill the sword through her huge, pale belly.
Trembling, Kat weakly dragged herself up, and ignored the pain in her limbs as she watched the horrible spectacle.
She didn't try to help this time; she knew her limits, but was Sam not afraid? He was like David against Goliath, only much smaller, and instead of a giant he was facing a drooling harridan with seven and a half legs. Plus, he had no sling.
The spider was finally reacting to the pain. She jumped off the blade, but not far, and all her eyes became focused on the hobbit as she assumed a threatening pose. Clear bubbles were forming in her mouth, and when one of them hit the ground, it hissed and steamed.
She was preparing to bite again, and with poison that potent, it would probably be lethal.
Sam took a step backwards.
Shelob edged closer.
Kat stopped breathing.
"Galadriel!" mumbled Sam, and his fingers fumbled around something in his pocket. He pulled out a small, crystal bottle.
It was that bottle! Kat remembered when Frodo had received it in Lothlórien as a parting gift, in what felt like years ago, and then apparently he had given it to Sam. Galadriel had said it was starlight, and that it would shine the brightest when the night was darkest.
Well, if there ever was a dark night, this was it.
"Gilthoniel a Elbereth!" cried Sam, suddenly standing straight and unafraid again. He continued in that same language, speaking elvish like it was his mother's tongue.
As he spoke, the crystal began to glow. Soon the light was so bright it hurt to look at – like a tiny sun.
"Now come, you filth," yelled Sam. "You've hurt my master, you brute, and you'll pay for it. We're going on, but we'll settle with you first. Come on, and taste it again!"
Terrified and scorched by the searing radiance, Shelob backed, trying to cover her eyes with a few of her legs while at the same time scurrying away as fast as she could. Then she turned around and disappeared the same way she had come.
Kat released her breath. Sam had done it. A hobbit gardener had single-handedly beaten a spider the size of a truck.
/\_ ,._ ,.
( o _ O )
"Master, dear master! Wake up Mr Frodo!" Sam bent over the limp form of his friend, sobbing and mumbling the other's name over and over as he searched for a heartbeat. "He's dead! Not asleep, dead," he whimpered then, falling on his face. His shoulders shook with silent grief.
Shocked, Kat stared at them. Frodo couldn't be dead! It wasn't right. Why had Mr Pretty Voice allowed it?
And also, what would happen to the Ring? Everything depended on Frodo carrying it to the volcano where it was forged, and dropping it there to destroy it – thus breaking Sauron's power.
Would everything be ruined now? The quest, Kat's task... it was all coming apart.
Laying down like the hobbits, Kat looked up at the gray, clouded sky, feeling a hopelessness she had rarely experienced before. Had she come this far, only to watch Frodo die and the mission fail?
After a while, she could hear Sam moving. He was muttering to himself in distress as he fumbled with Frodo's body, but Kat had not the energy to go to him. What good would it do? She couldn't help him. All was lost.
"Goodbye Master, my dear. Forgive your Sam. He'll come back to this spot when the job's done – if he manages it. And then he'll not leave you again."
Kat frowned. What job? Was he planning to...?
She jumped to her feet. Feeling her jaw slacken, she saw how Sam took the chain from Frodo – the chain with the One Ring – and put it around his own neck. With one last look at his friend, he turned and walked away through the mountain pass.
He would really do it. Sam would finish the quest – alone!
A flicker of hope reawakened within her. All was not lost. They could still do this! But what was her role? Should she run after Sam?
No. It was obvious he could fend for himself – had he not just defeated the worst monster she had ever seen? Kat had her own job to do; her orders were to follow Gollum, and he was back in the tunnel somewhere.
First however, she must say her own goodbyes to her former companion. Feeling her heart burn with unshed tears, Kat went over to the corpse.
She had just placed her paw on his limp arm, when she heard two things at once: harsh voices, and a faint heartbeat.
Oh no! Frodo was not dead – and there was a band of orcs just around the corner!
A/N:
Oops. A little cliffhanger a day, keeps the doctor away. Or so I've heard. :)
As always, your kind support, votes and lovely comments make me so happy!
Image Credits:
Screenshot from The Lord of the Rings movies.