I crossed my arms as if to protect myself from the freezing winds howling outside the simulated windows.
"Will," Caiden said in a wistful whisper, his heat intensifying as he stepped closer to me.
"I—" I started, unsure which of the subjects flaring in my flustered mind would leave my lips next. "I hear you're finally narrowing down the pool of potential suitors," I finally said before he touched me again.
My hands shook violently in the web of my arms. I didn't find it pleasant or entertaining to confront Caiden about last night's assertions, but apparently, I needed to know.
Caiden didn't answer, and I looked over my shoulder to see an expression of confusion sealing his lips shut.
I bit the inside of my cheek, turning to approach the enormous windows and fiddle with the silky blue curtains. "However," I said before I could stop myself. "I'm finding it difficult to establish who you find most attractive with your current approach. Arisu? Piper? Maybe Alia—"
"Alia?" Caiden suddenly said, making me shift my eyes to see a confused wrinkle form across the bridge of his nose.
I snorted quietly. Of course, Alia's name caught his attention among the suitors I'd named.
His interest in her puzzled me. She may be pretty—possibly smarter than most—but her attitude and behavior were less than appropriate for a future golden queen. However, if he did choose her to remain by his side, it may be easier not ever wanting to see him again.
The expression of shock and surprise faded with my silence, changing into the face of someone who had lost all desire to justify the unspoken sins I was accusing him of.
"I guess Piper told you what happened during our last date," he said, sighing heavily and massaging the back of his neck, not even allowing me the decency of a look. "I wasn't aware that you girls shared that kind of detail."
I narrowed my eyes and clenched my jaw to visibly display how appalled I felt by his ignorance of doing such things in the belief that the information wouldn't be shared or used like a merciless weapon against the other envious suitors.
"This is a competition, Caiden. Very few secrets remain in the privates of our minds. Besides, I'm sure if Piper hadn't told us, Arawn would've dug it out somehow anyway," I said, forcing my voice to remain calm instead of being consumed by the bitterness brewing inside me. "So... are you?"
"Am I what?" Caiden said, finally meeting my agitated eyes.
My heart jumped nervously, but I didn't waver from his gaze. "Narrowing the pool of suitors," I said, clarifying what he undoubtedly knew I'd referred to.
It wasn't my place to care whether he kissed other girls, but despite the undeniable stinging in my heart, this wasn't only about me. I hated to think that Caiden was playing with Piper and Calla. However, if he was deceiving them, I planned to make sure he received my unfiltered opinion of how despicable it was to play with a woman's heart like that.
"Not necessarily," he said, avoiding my gaze again to hide his shame.
"Care to elaborate?" I said, my body humming to neglect the etiquette lessons and lash out like a wild animal. However, as Caiden's silence remained persistent, I stood to lose my patience.
"Caiden—"
"The king demands it," he said, interrupting me with a voice harsher than I'd expected. "He happens to be worried that I'm neglecting my responsibilities towards the Crown Trials in favor of refining my powers or schooling you."
My heart skipped a beat as he mentioned remarks similar to those the king and I had exchanged.
"My father wishes to see me more involved with the suitors—possibly even advancing the competition to the next stage faster than I would like to admit I'm ready for, but Will... It was merely a kiss and nothing more."
Merely a kiss. Seriously?
"Caiden," I said, forcing a fake chuckle across my lips as I wrapped my arms around myself. I didn't want him to think I was being cross because his relationship with the others hurt me. "I don't think you realize what a kiss can be for a girl. Piper felt special when she told us about your date and—"
"That was also the intention," he mumbled, unfastening his cape to toss it across the back of a chair as if the room had heated.
I raised my head to catch his elusive gaze. "Excuse me, but let me attempt to rephrase what I meant: a kiss—like the one Piper described—represents intimacy and desire, both of which I would argue are pretty damn personal—especially in a game like this."
He sighed deeply again, still not brave enough to face me and acknowledge the point I needed to make him understand. "It's not like I shoved my tongue down her throat, Willow."
I took a step back, stunned by the repulsiveness of his statement. "I-I'm sorry," he added as if regretting the words he couldn't take back, "but I think you may be exaggerating your concept of intimacy and desire."
A knot threatened to clog my throat, and my eyes stung from holding back the searing tears. I hated how his words affected me, but they did.
I'd come to know more faces of Caiden's complex personality than I'd originally intended, but I would've never dared imagine this side of him existed. Caiden wasn't Knox, but that attitude made the boundary appear much less defined than before.
I refrained from commenting on his disturbing remark and rushed past him, scarcely avoiding his rigid body before moving toward the exit. My fingers pulled the crystal from beneath my layers and pressed it against the wooden framework to unlock the door. Nothing happened.
"Come on," I growled, pressing my palm harder against the door to force it open. Still, nothing.
"Why can't I unlock the door?" I shouted without looking at him, infuriated by his nerve to bring me to a place I couldn't escape.
"Will," he sighed, slowly approaching me, well-knowing that I couldn't leave without his help.
"Don't call me that!" I hissed, disgusted at hearing my casual nickname from the mouth that had been around. I grabbed the door handle and twisted it, but the thing still wouldn't budge.
"Willow," he said instead to meet my demands. "Why does my relationship with the suitors affect you so much?"
My body shuddered in repulsion when he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Don't touch me," I said through clenched teeth.
My breath lodged in my throat when Caiden pressed his marked hand against the door, unlocking it without a fight.
I twisted the handle without hesitation, refusing to give him the attention he so obviously craved, and the door opened. A small celebratory smile lightly tugged the corners of my mouth. I hadn't expected it to be so easy, but I didn't complain.
A surprised gasp escaped me when the door slammed back into its frame. Of course, escaping wouldn't be as easy as that.
I took a deep breath to gather whatever rational thought I could muster. "I know you're going to be my king in a few years, Caiden, but even a king shouldn't be excused for the lack of manners," I said through clenched teeth.
"I couldn't care less about my status as a golden descendant right now, Will, but I'm not letting you leave until you explain what upsets you," he whispered behind me, making my eyes widen in disbelief.
He'd never behaved like this before. I'd heard his stern voice during my private lessons, but never with this suggestion of frustration.
Caiden may not have deserved my wrath, but the fire blazed hot within me, and I wasn't sure how to extinguish it. I had no right to be upset over something that didn't concern me, but putting a lid on my feelings wasn't easy either.
"Let me out," I whispered, feeling him lean closer to my back when I didn't respond the way he wanted me to.
"No," he whispered into my sensitive ear. "Not until you give me an adequate answer."
If I could wield fire, I'd be fuming from my ears. "Damn it, Caiden!" I exclaimed and pushed his hand away from my shoulder to turn around, hoping to find an alternative door through which I could escape this nightmare. "If you don't let me go now, I swear by the blood of your ancestors, I'll—"
I cut myself off when Caiden obstructed my path with his other arm, trapping me. I instinctively turned my face to meet his.
I swallowed a gasp as his breath warmed my cheeks, and his nose lingered less than three inches from mine. Escaping was no longer an option, so I pressed my back against the door to distance myself from him as much as possible.
"If you refuse to clarify that mystery for me, perhaps you won't mind explaining this," he said with an expression I couldn't read, "why are you avoiding me?"
I stiffened. "I— Um..."
No lie came to my mind that sounded as believable as the truth. Caiden didn't wield the abilities of a Sound Manipulator, but he would immediately see through any lie from my tongue. So, I dropped my gaze to focus on his moving chest before I twisted what truth I could. "The second trial is closing in, and you'll soon have to choose someone amongst the remaining suitors to rule beside you. I didn't want to stand in your way because—"
Because it'll hurt too much when I have to let you go.
I wanted to say those words, but nothing good would come of it. Even if our feelings were mutual—as small as the chances were—it wouldn't matter. He was our future king but had little power to choose with his heart.
"Are those words your own, or are they the words of our king?" Caiden asked, making me flinch.
I lowered my gaze all the way to the floor, ashamed and distressed. "Just," I muttered, biting my lip and clenching my fists so hard my bones risked shattering. "Let me go, Caiden."
Caiden didn't move, and the anger nearly burning a hole through my heart dissipated, replaced by humiliation and conflict that instead saw to tear me apart.
"Look at me, Will," Caiden faintly whispered, but I couldn't. Instead, I closed my eyes and prayed that I would vanish into thin air or, at the very least, that my slumbering powers would awaken to teleport me somewhere else if I desired it enough.
However, I wasn't going anywhere like this, nor was Caiden.
When I didn't answer or act upon his request, he grew impatient and placed his warm fingers under my chin to guide my eyes to meet his.
"Tell me that those words were yours, and I promise to leave you alone as far as my status as crown prince allows me," he vowed the moment our gazes locked.
All I needed to do was lie, and my life in this cursed palace would become a lot easier, but my mouth refused to form the words. I was sick of lies, but at least this lie would spare me a future of pain and sorrow.
"I-I—" I stuttered before noticing Caiden's gaze waver from my eyes to my lips, causing my heart to leap further than the ocean stretched.
My breaths grew shorter and erratic as countless images of suitors in my position flashed past me—images of Caiden leaning down to press his lips against theirs in an act that shouldn't be shared so casually.
Was he going to kiss me too? I didn't want that—not like this.
Black dots danced before my eyes as my mind reached deeper into my memories, past the intimate stories I'd heard from external sources and to something I'd felt on my very own body.
A memory I'd tried so hard to push into the furthest corner of my mind surfaced, forcing me back to the Iridis Mansion.
I opened my eyes, hoping to escape the horrifying memory of Knox cornering me and forcing himself upon me. However, where I'd hoped to find Caiden's worried face, I only saw the monster of my nightmares.
Knox smiled as sinisterly as I remembered, the sight sending a cold chill crawling down my spine like a slow centipede.
"No!" I screamed and pushed my palms against the body that kept me bound to this door, fighting for my freedom.
"Will!" Caiden shouted, grabbing my hands to discourage my unreasonable desire to fight him. "Will, stop! What's going on?"
I barely heard him. All I could see was Knox trying to force himself upon me, once again proving that my strength was no match against his.
"Stop, please! Let me go!" I screamed again, fighting even harder than before, to no use. "Knox!"
The pressure around my wrists suddenly disappeared, and I slid limply to the ground. I trembled wildly, but the absence of Caiden's hands on my body broke the spell, yanking me out of my blood-curdling hallucinations.
"Knox?" Caiden whispered as to recall the person whose name had first disrupted my peaceful life.
My head still spun, but my breathing stopped as I realized what I'd done.
Maeve and Milo were the only ones who knew about Knox and the way he'd touched me back then. Caiden and the king may not even have seen what vile actions initially sparked Mom's outrage during their visit, and I hadn't told anyone, ashamed and terrified of being judged.
"Isn't that the name of the Fire Iridis from back then?" Caiden asked.
I tucked my knees under my chin and squeezed my eyes shut, where another image of the horrifying Fire Wielder confronted me. My lips trembled too much for any words to form, so I nodded faintly instead—maybe even hoping that he didn't quite catch it.
Caiden knelt and caught my face between his palms, forcing me to look at him rather than wallow in self-pity. "Did he touch you?" he asked loudly, his voice a mix of rage and despair.
A tear rolled down my flushed cheek and past Caiden's determined fingers. He wasn't going to let me go before I'd given him something, but I still couldn't make myself speak of that despicable act.
"T-that day," I started, shifting my eyes to avoid his. "Before my mom interrupted us, Knox had reached up under my skirt to—" I sniffled, unable to speak about the words that I'd rather forget. "Mom, fortunately, stepped in to protect me before he could continue."
Caiden remained silent. I dared myself to look up, only to find his face wrenched in pain and pity.
"That's not all, is it?" he asked as if he'd read my mind.
His hands squeezed me tighter the longer I stayed mute.
That memory was currently tied to the silent walls of Iridis Mansion, and confessing the truth to Caiden would make it part of my palace life too. That terrified me.
"What did he do, Will?" Caiden asked persistently, and I crumbled.
Tears started streaming down my cheeks like a pouring waterfall. "H-he cornered me," I cried, wrapping my hands around Caiden's wrists to support myself. "Weeks before your visit, I'd been ordered to clean Master Deveroux's office, but then I saw Knox with Maeve... I tried to hide, but he found me and pinned me against the wall and— and—"
My rambling of obscure sentences must have sounded like the words of a lunatic. I didn't expect him to understand half of it, but then I felt his muscles tense and saw his eyes darken. "Did he kiss you?" he whispered, making my heart jump to my throat.
"N-no," I said, shaking my head as much as his hold allowed me. "He had something more important to do, but it scared me."
Another expression pulled across his face—an expression of regret and sorrow. "So that's why—" he said, his hands dropping to my shoulders.
Suddenly, he pulled me close in a comforting embrace, not caring that my tears drenched his expensive dress shirt. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it before, but Will," he said, pausing to press his cheek against my hair. "I would never touch you unless you wanted me to."
Unless I wanted him to? But that—
"I will talk to my father about this, I promise. A monster like that shouldn't be allowed to—" I interrupted him before he said anything I would regret hearing.
"No!" I exclaimed and pushed him, forcing him to look at me. "You can't, Caiden! I messed up when I stood my ground against Knox and destroyed that room. My mom still works there to pay off the debt I put us in. So please don't say anything! She's already suffering enough because of me!"
Caiden looked at me with widened eyes, his shirt caught in my fists. "Willow, you do realize that there are laws to prevent the kind of behavior Knox displayed, right? Why didn't you turn him in when he first broke those rules?" he asked instead of promising me what I desperately asked of him.
"I, um," I muttered, suddenly unable to look at him again. "C-contacting the guardians would have put my secret at risk of exposure. I didn't want to put my family in that situation."
I opened my fists to let go of his wrinkled shirt. "I need to work hard here, so I can go home and support them as soon as possible," I whispered. "I'll be able to make twice the pay of whatever you currently offer them as an Iridis worker."
However, as I pulled my hands back to fiddle with the fabric of my dress, Caiden caught them in his.
"Let me handle this, Will," he said, squeezing my fingers.
"But, I—"
"I promise to be careful," he assured me, but I remained hesitant. "Please, put your faith in me with this. I can't just sit back and do nothing when I know my people aren't treated according to our laws. People like Knox cannot be allowed to roam the streets unpunished."
I stayed silent for a short moment, considering my options. Knox had not only attacked me; Maeve had also been subjected to his vile actions, and there were likely many more. Something needed to be done.
"Can you promise me that my mom will be safe?" I whispered, still not entirely sure if this was the right choice.
He offered a quiet nod and placed his warm hand on my cheek. "I promise."