Leo
"So you're meeting Tessa today huh?"
I was in my room in our base working when I suddenly heard Nate's voice.
I turned to see him sitting on the bed with an apple in his hands.
When did he get here?
"Yes. Why?" I asked getting back to my work.
He threw the apple in the air and caught it, "I just think it's really weird how you've been overworking yourself and not getting out of this room"
"That's what I always do"
"Hm...no" He said and bit into the apple, "You don't have a lot of work these days and you overwork yourself when you're nervous or angry. Tessa is your girlfriend, this is not the first time you're meeting her so that's not the reason why you're nervous and there's nothing else going on that could make you nervous or angry" He said.
I felt like I was caught, but I didn't react.
"Unless-"
"Shut up and let me work"
He laughed, "Now, why would I ever do that?" He asked, "You have a plan" He said.
"What plan?" I asked.
"You're going to do something dumb. Again"
"Yeah? And what's that?" I typed faster on my keyboard, getting nervous.
"Hm let's see. You're meeting Tessa today" He said pretending to think, "I think you're going to break up with her"
I stopped typing and widened my eyes.
He chuckled and bit into the apple again, "There you go"
"How did you-"
"I am a psychic" He chuckled.
"Why do you even care about that?" I asked.
"Well first of all, if you break up with her you'll go back to being the most annoying little bitch on the planet and second of all, the girl doesn't deserve this treatment"
"She deserves a good life and I can't give her that"
"Why not? See Ares and Serenity? They're just fine"
"Yeah, for now"
He stood up and walked over to me "She doesn't care about what you do. Leo, we're powerful and dangerous people. You can protect her" He said putting his hands on my shoulders.
"We're powerful and dangerous people, that's why I can't protect her"
"Come on, no one even knows you. You work behind closed doors. Everyone who ever knew you is basically dead as far as we know" he said.
"You won't change my mind"
"Fine. Ares!" He yelled.
"Why are you-?" I asked in surprise.
"No need to yell" I turned to see Ares standing behind the door.
"Look at that. He's been eavesdropping this whole time" Nate chuckled.
Ares rolled his eyes, "Leo, I understand your thinking but, I think you need to think about it more" He said.
"I don't understand his thinking" Nate said.
"Well it's true we're dangerous, but are you going to give up on your happiness?" He asked.
"I'm happy knowing she's happy and safe-"
"We only want what's best for you" Nate said.
I felt like they were my parents lecturing me. I felt like I was suffocating.
"Just let me do what I want to do!" I yelled and stood up.
"Ugh teens" Nate sighed.
"You're almost the same age" Ares pointed out.
"Yes, I just don't act like a five year old" Nate said crossing his arms.
"You're the one who acts childish all the time! When was the last time you took anything seriously!?" I yelled at him.
"Literally seconds ago when I was talking about your happiness" He said.
"Hey hey, stop fighting" Ares said putting a hand on Nate's shoulder, "Leo, what were you going to do?" He asked.
"I don't know if I can break up with her and see her sad. Maybe I should just stop contacting her. I'll stay here for a few days so that she doesn't find me in the apartment-"
"Way to be a coward and an ass" Nate commented.
"He's right. You're not doing that" Ares said and I saw a smirk on his face, "If you really want to break up with her, try doing it in front of her face" He challenged thinking I wouldn't be able to do it, but I was determined to let her go for her own good.
"Fine" I said firmly.
________
I was nervously pacing around my living room waiting for her to come.
How will I tell her?
Will she hate me?
I guess nothing could make her hate me if me being a murderer didn't do the trick.
But what if the situation with our parents is too much for her? Her mother died for no reason because of me.
I heard the intercom and flinched from the sudden ring, before going to answer it and let her in.
I pulled at the roots of my hair and sighed as I waited for her to come upstairs.
I had decided to let her go long ago. The moment I saw her on the floor covered with blood I regretted my whole existence and swore to myself to let her go as hard as it was.
I heard a knock on the door and immediately opened it as I was waiting right in front of it.
She looked up at me with her bright smile and dark brown eyes shining.
"Hi" She said.
She's so adorable.
How can a 'hi' from her make my heart swell? Just how bad is my situation?
Everytime I saw her I felt like I couldn't breathe and today, of course, it was even worse.
"Hi" I said back, calming myself down, "Come in" I said making space for her to walk in.
She walked in and sat on the couch. She was used to being here now and I smiled at the sight.
"How have you been?" I asked and sat down next to her.
"We saw each other yesterday" She smiled.
"Well, how are your sisters? Tell me about your day" I said.
"You're avoiding what I came here to talk about" She said.
Woah straight to the point.
"Okay then" I said looking down, "I-I need to talk to you about-" I felt my mouth go dry and my tongue wouldn't move.
I don't want to tell you. I don't want you to hate me. I don't want to let you go.
"It's okay" She said putting her hand on my back.
Her touch feels so good.
"Reid told me about my parents" I blurted out.
She didn't speak and kept stroking my back so I continued, "He said my mom left him for my father. She knew too much and he decide to get rid of her and her whole family" I said trying to hold in my anger. The more I thought about it, the angrier I felt.
"I never thought I would be so happy to kill someone" She murmured.
Wait till you hear the rest.
"That's not all"
She tilted her head, her hand stopped moving on my back.
"Remember when you asked if our parents' murders could be connected?" I asked.
"Yes" She said her eyes widening slightly.
"Well, they are"
"I-in what way?" She asked.
"When I ran away to get away from them, they came after me. Do you remember what the people who killed your mom told her before they did?" I asked feeling more nervous by the second.
"No, not really. All I can remember is her dropping dead right before my eyes and then me getting away from them" She said with a cold look on her face.
"Those people were looking for me, Tessa" I said.
She looked at me in shock and disbelief.
Don't hate me. Please, don't hate me.
"He said it's my fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know" I said and buried my face in my hands.
I felt her touch on my hands a few seconds after, "Did you think I would blame you?" She asked.
"He said it's my fault and they killed your mom because they were looking for me" I said.
"Why would I blame you? You didn't pull the trigger. You didn't choose this, you weren't even aware. You were just trying to save your life and saved mine too, in the process" She said.
"I-I thought you would hate me" I said.
"How can I?" She whispered looking into my eyes and putting a hand on my face.
"You're making this so hard for me" I sighed.
She raised an eyebrow, "Making what hard for you?" I could see a bit of worry in her eyes as she narrowed them, studying me.
"Tessa" I said trying to calm myself down, "I don't want to see you hurt anymore"
"What do you mean?" She asked slowly.
I didn't know how to say it. Be cold and have her hate me or try to comfort her and tell her it's for her own good? She was probably going to hate me either way.
I sighed, "This has to stop"
"What?"
"Us"
Her lips parted in shock and her eyes widened.
"I can't see you hurt anymore. All I'm going to bring you is pain"
She was speechless. She looked so confused and surprised.
"I don't understand" She said, her dark brown eyes now glossy as she stared at the ground.
"When I saw you on the ground with your own blood all over you, I lost it. I-I can't do this again. I can't risk anything like this happening again and keeping you by my side would definitely make this happen again someday" I said.
She gulped, "So you just decided it was over for us?"
"I had to"
"Do you ever stop to think about my feelings?" She asked, her expression now getting angry.
"It's the best for you" I said firmly.
"Stop being an idiot! We were doing fine! Why do you want to ruin it?"
"All I do it hurt you" I said looking into her dark eyes, "I didn't have time for you. I lied to you constantly and kept secrets from you because I couldn't stand the thought of you leaving me. Don't you remember how often we used to fight?"
"But that's over now. I know what you do and I want to be with you"
"And who's to say I won't do it again when the time comes?" I asked trying to control my emotions.
I wanted to tell her that I would never do it again, but if I had to make her hate me to stay away from me, I would.
"What? Why would you do it again? You know I wouldn't hate you, so why?" She asked. I could see her getting mad.
"Because that's just what I do. You think all of our problems will just disappear now? As if I never hid everything from you and tried to keep you in the dark just for you to stay by my side?"
"B-but you did it because you didn't want me to hate you and now I know and I don't. I will never hate you" She said and reached out to touch my face, but I moved away.
If you touch me right now I'll never let you go.
"Really? Even when you get in danger because of me? Or even better, when your family gets in danger because of me? What will your dad say about me? We'll keep him in the dark too?"
She looked down not knowing what to say,"He doesn't have to know"
"Yeah, until he ends up tied up in a basement because he simply knows me"
She gasped.
I can't stand to see you like this but
"Will you still not hate me then?"
I just have to let you go.
"Why are you being so cold?" She asked in a small voice.
"That's how I've always been"
"No" She said firmly.
"Yes, you just don't know me well enough"
"Stop pretending, this isn't you" She said narrowing her eyes.
"This is me. This is how I've been from the start, I just acted sweet to keep you"
"No"
"Didn't you say you didn't trust me? Well you did good. You shouldn't have"
"Stop being like this!" She yelled and stood up.
I stood up after her, "Are you going to hate me now?"
"I'll never hate you" She said softly, reaching out her hand again, but once again I moved away.
I saw a flash of hurt in her eyes as she took a step back.
"You said it yourself I am a murderer and you don't want to be involved in this" I said remembering her words.
"I was just overwhelmed! I didn't mean that-"
"But you were right"
"No, I wasn't-"
"Oh yeah? I am a murderer. I would kill you if I was ordered to" I said.
We only killed when necessary and children and teens were a no no, but I had to make her hate me.
Her eyes widened and her lips slightly parted in shock, before her expression turned cold.
"You're lying" She said, "Stop trying to make me hate you, I won't"
"For fucks sake you killed someone because of me!" I yelled, "You did something you hated because of me. Don't you see how much of a bad influence I am in your life?"
She narrowed her eyes, "The only thing I'm getting from your words is you don't want to be with me anymore and not because you want me to be safe. That's a really lame excuse, Leo"
I gasped, "Do I look like I don't want to be with you? Did I ever give you that impression?" I asked.
I could've let her believe that, but I just couldn't. I couldn't let her believe I didn't want her, because I wanted her like crazy. I'd never wanted anything or anyone in my life this much, but I couldn't be selfish and ruin her life.
"Yes! That's what it seems like right now" She said.
I held her shoulders and got closer, "I wouldn't beg for you to stay with me everytime we fought if I didn't want you"
"But right now you're fine with letting me go. So you're fine with me moving on, you're fine with me being with someone else-"
"What?" I asked feeling my body heat up with anger.
I wasn't fine with her being with anyone else. I hadn't thought of that until now, but the thought of her being with someone else hurt like a knife to my chest.
She scoffed, "Do you think I'm going to stay alone forever?"
I looked down and my hands that were on her shoulder fell to my sides, "You're right" I admitted, "I'm not fine with you moving on"
"But you don't want me in your life"
I reached out and cupped the side of her face, "Of course I do" I smiled, "I would do anything in my power to have you in my life, sweetheart"
"Then why don't you?" She asked leaning into my touch.
We had both calmed down a bit now.
"Because even if I quit people will still be after me and that means they'll be after you too. My life is already ruined. I don't want to be the reason yours will be ruined as well"
"You keep blaming yourself for everything. I've hurt you too"
"I could take it if it meant being with you" I smiled at her.
"Stop saying that. You shouldn't let me hurt you" She said looking down.
"And you shouldn't let me hurt you" I said my voice barely over a whisper as I stroked her face.
She removed my hand that was on her face and took a step back. The action hurt more than I showed.
"Fine. Goodbye then" She said coldly.
I nodded, "Goodbye"
She stayed glued to her spot for a few seconds before making her way to the door. It took everything in me to not run to her and keep her with me. I closed my eyes as she left and flinched as I heard the door shut.
It was supposed to be the right thing to do, but why did I regret it right away?