If I Can't Have Senpai

By DollieSonikku

39.3K 890 1.2K

*New Version!!* If I can't have Senpai, then I'll have you until you can't bare the thought of ever leaving m... More

Author's Note
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42(End)

Chapter 36

703 20 20
By DollieSonikku

Ayano staggers back as the realization hits her hard, she gazes at Riku cautiously wondering if he would actually used it against her.

"Ayano Aishi..." Riku says with disdain in his voice, a cold chill goes down Ayano's spine and she could see Riku's hand slightly shaking as he pointed his weapon at her. "The girl I protected and cared about...was no other than the monster playing the damsel in distress..."

"I was never playing the damsel, Soma-kun." Ayano says firmly. "You just wanted to believe I was."

"Shut up!" Riku shouted and his grip on his taser tighten. "Tell me, do you have any empathy or remorse for what you put Kokona through...? Or even Miyu-san, Masuta-kun...me!?"

"...Would you even believe me if I said I did...?" Ayano says softly, that guilt and regret she had put aside began to rise within her once again.

"I don't know anymore." Riku admits casting a cold glare at her while taking a step towards her.

Ayano spares a glance at the driver of the limo, the driver had his head down, his gaze away from them seeming to think his steering wheel held the world's secrets instead. He was loyal to his master only. If she ran she would likely get caught by Riku since she was already tired out for walking so long. The only thing she can do now is confront this like she did with Saki and Taro.

"Soma-kun..." Ayano says and slowly lifts both her hands up in a form of surrender. "I'm not going to hurt you or anyone anymore....I'm going to leave town after tonight. You won't see me ever again...So please let me go."

Ayano could see the boy's grip falter and his violet eyes held surprise in them obviously not expecting this outcome.

"Why should I believe you, Ayano?" Riku asks, raising his taser slightly. "Even if you say these things I know you can't help yourself, the doctor said you were sick, psychotic even. For all I know you could be manipulating me before striking the final blow."

"I have my hands up and I am weaponless...you can even bind my arms and check. I just want to be on my way."

"You're still dangerous even weaponless." Riku mutters suspiciously. "And even if I let you go whose to say you won't torture or murder another person in the future. You should have stayed with the doctor, Ayano. Then maybe you could of had a chance at redemption."

"Please Soma-kun...I'm begging you, Budo-"Ayano was about to plead when Riku shouted once more.

"Enough of that!" Riku says and takes another step closer to her. "Do not mention his name anymore I am tired of hearing it whenever I'm with you!"

"Soma-kun..."Even now Ayano could sense the hint of jealously in his tone and the slight narrow of his eye. She didn't have time for this, if she didn't get a move on her trip to the city would be delayed.

"Get in the car, Ayano I'm going to take you to the police station. You're going to answer for your crimes." Riku says approaching her. "And don't think about trying to attack me. I won't hesitate to use this over and over if I have to."

Before Ayano could further plead Riku harshly grabbed her arm, dangerous blue light shined against her as Riku had it close to her now. No, this couldn't happen to her right now, not when she was so close to rescuing Budo.

"No, Soma-kun, stop!!" Ayano shouted but he didn't listen and started to drag her towards his limo where the driver still had his attention on his stupid steering wheel. "Why are you doing this, why-"

Ayano paused slightly as the answer came to her. He's doing this because he felt betrayed by her. All of his effort in trying to win her over and protect her had backfired on him severely. He had found out the harsh truth about her and his heart was shattered. But despite that he came looking for her, he had fallen completely in love with her and was doing this out of mere spite.

Ayano planted her feet to the ground with her bangs shadowing over her charcoal eyes. Riku dragged her but noticed her resistance, he looks back at her with irritation in his violet eyes.

"Ayano, move it, don't make this any harder." Riku says pulling harder on her wrist but she didn't budge. Dirt had bunched up against her shoes from being dragged and Riku could see her hands clenched into fists. "Now is not the time to be stubborn."

  "...." Silence was her only answer and Riku grew even more irritated. What nerve she had to resist facing judgement, she had been caught. Its over.

"Ayano, don't make me use th-"Riku shouted but was caught off abruptly.

The cool wind swayed against them and surprisingly the driver looked up from his steering wheel. Riku's face warmed Ayano's chilled hands, what she was doing was cruel and heartless but she had no other choice. He had forced her hand and she had struck him back hard.

Riku's violet eyes widen as Ayano kissed him, his taser slipped from his hands and fell onto the ground. Her cold lips pressed hard against his and he didn't know how to react, his heart began to race and his hands slightly shook.

Taking advantage of his stupor Ayano immediately yanked away and shoved him to the ground, she then made a break for it down the grassy plains and away from the road. She hoped the darkness would cover her as she ran down the plain.

"M-Master Soma!"Riku's butler calls out to him as he rolls the car next to him with the window rolled down. "That girl, she used her wicked charms to trick you!"

Riku who sat on the ground dazed but quickly snapped out upon hearing his name being called. He quickly gets up and touches his lips with a heated face from rage and pure longing. But his butler was right Ayano had done it only to make her escape. Damn it.  Damn it all.

"Charles, stay here!" Riku says to his butler as he dashes off in pursuit of the devious girl. She couldn't have gone far and while the darkness might provide her some cover he would still be able to see her running across the plain as well as hear her.

"B-But M-Master..!" Charles the butler says seeing that he had left his taser behind and the impeding darkness that started to take place. "D-Don't leave me here by myself!"

*******

Ayano hid beside a hill that covered her presence, a calm lake stained by the night resided in front of her. The sky had turned dark and Ayano could see thick dark-grey clouds hovering within it, it would rain soon. Ayano shielded the light of her phone with her hand as she stared at her GPS, she was off course to where she needed to be, she had to get back on that road. But with Riku and his butler there she wouldn't have the chance.

"Damn it...what do I do...?" Ayano whispers to herself slightly panicked.  She was burning energy she should be saving and her stress was making her exhausted. The cold of the night started to settled within her and she shut off her phone and brought her knees to her chest.

Her mind flickered to the kiss she had with Riku and cursed herself for putting herself in that kind of situation for the second time. Unlike the first time where she felt flustered and shocked she felt nothing but guilt in using his feelings against him.

Twice Riku Soma's lips had been upon hers and only once from the Martial Arts leader. Ayano quickly tried to drag the thought away from her head. It didn't matter, she had only did it to save his life from the poison, it was never brought up again anyways.

Her mind suddenly went to the time they were in her parent's closet hiding from the red-eye girl and how Budo had pinned her to the ground, his beautiful face slowly inching closer and closer towards her. How heart-racing the anticipation was. Ayano's face quickly heated from the memory that she had to close her eyes tight in an attempt to make it go away. After all, it wouldn't matter by the end of this night, Budo would hate her after he learned her crimes. Riku seemed to, and knowing that the Martial Arts Leader was driven by justice she was sure he would want her turned in to the police as well.

She couldn't continue to ponder on this she- suddenly something clicked inside her head and her eyes widen is realization. The emetic poison...the red-eyed girl...

~RINNGG~ ~RINNGG~

Ayano's Saikou phone suddenly went off emitting a loud ring, she cursed herself at her luck as she quickly fumbled with her phone to shut off the loud ringing. Upon glancing at it she could see an unknown caller on her screen. Of course, out of all the times a telephone marketer or scammer would call it had to be now when she was hiding for her life. She quickly swiped the red phone button to end the call and took the extra step in blocking it. She held still for a moment listening to her surroundings but all she could hear was the crickets and her heart ramming itself against her chest.

She scolded herself for not putting her phone on silent and stood up from her spot. It was dangerous for her to stay in one area, sooner or later Riku would find her, it was best to keep-

"Found you."

Before Ayano could process anything Riku Soma jumps her from behind and violently grabs both her hands in a tight grip. Ayano growls in anger and she struggles against the purple-haired boy.

"You really can't leave me the hell alone, can you?" Ayano snarled as she moves her head forward and then slams it back into Riku's face. The notion brought pain to the back of her head but it met its target and she was rewarded with a pained growl.

"Hgnnn...If you think I'm just going....to give up like that you underestimate me." Riku says in a pained but determined voice. Both their arms shook intensely as one struggled against the other with neither of them willing to cave in.

"You...bastard!!" Ayano screamed and with a final thrash forward both of them was sent tumbling into the cold lake.

SPLASHH!!

The water was unforgivably cold against Ayano's back, its level reached her shoulders and her long legs were submerged with only the top of her knees being above the water. Her charcoal eyes stared up at the vibrant white moon above them, the gentle moonlight cascading above them was being blocked by Riku's form casting the two of them in shadows. The boy was on top of her with both her hands pinned next to her shoulders, he was breathing heavily as his violet eyes held her. The anger that seem to take hold of them was almost absent as if the lake had washed it away.

"You are...unbelievably cruel....Ayano Aishi." Riku says softly as his hands shook from either the cold or the from feelings he was currently experiencing. "Kissing me like that...when you know I love you so....you truly are manipulative..."

"...You should have known...when I dropped you that day Kokona rejected you." Ayano says looking at him with vacant eyes as she recalled that day. "You should have never pursued me."

"...I guess I shouldn't have...I wouldn't be feeling like this if I haven't....torn between loving you and hating you."

"Nor would you have committed such vile sins...poisoning Budo with emetic poison....then sending a hit-man after him..." Ayano whispers revealing what she had realized at the hill. He was the one who had poisoned Budo during the ramen challenge and he was the one who sent that red-eye girl that night at her house.

"...So, you realized it was me who had done that...even I can't believe I went through such horrible lengths...love is truly a scary thing." Riku murmurs averting his eyes. "Even after everything I've done...you would never truly become mine...would you?"

He releases one of her hands and gently takes a hold of one of the white bandanna's ribbon that floated against the inky-black lake.

"I'm sorry, Soma-kun." Ayano says her gaze sliding to the white ribbon he had in his grasp. "But you will never have me..."

"...Always so cruel...."Riku slowly releases Ayano's hands, a small bitter smile appeared on his face as his purple bangs covered his eyes. "But perhaps I have become cruel as well..." He whispers remembering the horrible acts he had done with an irrational mind. He was no better than her, he had tried to kill someone.

Ayano sits up from the lake, droplets of cold water returned to its source. The moonlight enveloped them in its beautiful light and she wraps her arms around Riku's neck and hugged him gently. The old Ayano would have killed him there, submerge his head face first into lake and drown him. His attempts in killing her Senpai would have been unforgivable, even in her stable state of mind it still was unforgivable. But just like Saki did, she would give him that mercy so they could both finally move on.

"Don't chase after me anymore...the love you have me for me...will drive you mad." Ayano whispers with pity and guilt in her voice. "Don't become cruel and manipulative like me..."

"Ayano..." She could feel Riku's breath hitch in surprise by her touch.

"Kokona's in Mentaru hospital...go see her. She needs a familiar face other than Saki's..." Ayano says finally releasing him and standing up.

Riku looked up at her shrouded in moonlight and darkness as the wind swayed against her and that familiar white bandana she wore in her hair.

"...I'm sure you can bring the light back in her eyes..." Ayano says with a small, genuine smile on her face and a tilt of her head. "And make her feel...alive once again."

With that Ayano walked away from Riku Soma, he stared up at the moon as the cold wind hit against him. He could hear her footsteps receding farther and farther away until he couldn't hear it anymore.

"You will never have me.."

She was right, she was never his to begin with. And never would be.

"She really has changed..." Riku whispers to himself. There was nothing he could do now, while he had information over Ayano, she now also had information over him. And she was right, the love he had for her would ultimately drive him mad, it seem to already have with the sins he had committed. Perhaps he could change too, and maybe...he would go see Kokona... not as an ulterior motive to date her but rather be there for her as a friend.

He trudged away from the lake and over the hill, once he reached the road he looked for the limo but couldn't find it nor Charles, his father's butler. He looked up and down the road but found no headlights or a silhouette of the car.

"Damn it, Charles..."  Riku mutters to himself, this wasn't the first time Charles had abandoned him. He was a coward when it came to being alone at night. Anything could spook that man and while he was mostly loyal to Riku his fear seem to override that loyalty.

Now he was abandoned at the outskirts of town. He guess it served him right for meddling with Ayano Aishi. He started to make the trek down the road back to the town while soaking wet and cold.

Suddenly, he heard the faint sound of a motorcycle, it eventually became louder and louder as it neared the road he walked along. Riku cursed at the loud obnoxious noise and music that came from it as the driver rode down. It past him quickly and Riku waited for that noise of the motor to fade and it did. Rather abruptly though. Instantaneously, he heard the light purr of the motor, it had stopped a few feet from him and reversed until it was in front of him. Riku halted in surprise and turned to it unsure why they had stopped. The driver gave him a once over probably noticing that he was soaking wet and looked like hell. A feminine sigh escaped from the driver's helmet as if finally coming to the decision of something before taking off their helmet.

"Hey nerd, need a lift?" Osoro Shidesu, former delinquent leader asks while locking eyes with him.

"W-Wait...aren't you...-"

"Yeah, yeah, we're from the same school I'm sure you know who the hell I am." Osoro replies waving him off. "Are you gonna get on or what?"

"I...." Riku hesitated, he had been harassed by a couple of her delinquents before after founding out he came from a wealthy family. He couldn't imagine what the leader of the delinquents would want from him.

Osoro seem to notice his hesitance and let out another sigh. "Listen...I'm no longer the leader of that stupid group...nor do I want to be associated with that kind of image anymore...I'm trying to turn over a new leaf here and be a better person. You can understand that....right?" She asks softly while extending a gloved hand towards him.

Riku stared at her in surprised and then glanced down to her outstretched hand.

"...Yeah. I guess I do." He says with downcast eyes and a small smile as he took a hold of her hand.

****************************

Over and over, Satoru had the film rewind so many times he had lost track. He sat in the control room with his hands neatly folded on his desk. His stormy grey eyes stared at the Martial Arts Leader tied to the chair. No longer did Budo Masuta struggled, his vacant eyes was now fixed to the screen and his bangs laid a strewn over his face. His hand or leg would twitch slightly here and there but all that matter was that he was alive and well hydrated which his daughter kept sure of.

Satoru would keep the boy a little longer more, let the images he saw really sink into his thick-headed skull. And then after their session was done Satoru would drive the boy to his house and he and his daughter would have dinner and then he could submit the evidence to the police. Satoru thinks this to himself as he planned the night ahead. He was in a awfully good mood, he had finally bested an Aishi and soon their crimes would finally be revealed to for the world to see. With the publicity that was sure to come, Satoru hoped he would get his job back as a doctor in Mentaru hospital or maybe another opportunity elsewhere would arise for him.

Satoru took the last sip of his coffee and glanced down at his Saikou phone. The screen showed he had a missed call on the top corner...a missed call from nurse Cherry, his former colleague. Satoru stood up and caught Info-chan's eye, a silent conversation passed between them. Watch him. When she nodded Satoru exited the control room and went out to the back and then into the crisp night where he could have his call alone.

"..." Satoru stared at his phone unsure why nurse Cherry would call him, sure they talked but they were more acquaintances than friends. Still, his curiosity was piqued so he decided to call her back.

"Hello, Nurse Cherry speaking~!" A sweet feminine voice says, from what he could hear on the other line it seems she had her hands full.

"....Hello, this is Satoru Orochi, you had called me?"

"D-Doctor S-Sato- Waghhh!" Nurse Cherry stammered and the sound of paper falling to the floor was heard. He then heard her scramble for it while trying to talk to him. "Y-Yes, I did I-where did that last paper go- Ah I um I wanted to-um..."

"You can drop the Doctor, I don't work at the hospital anymore, remember?" Satoru says with a sigh. What could she possibly want? A reference, a favor? "While I appreciate your call I'm rather busy right now so..."

"Wait...! I just...I just wanted to see how you were doing...." Nurse Cherry says her chipper voice suddenly turning serious and concern that it surprised him.

"...Why do you want to know that?" Satoru asks trying to analyze what she could possibly gain from that information. "Is it because you want to gossip about me with the other nurses about why the notorious Satoru was kicked out?"

"W-What, no!!! Of course not." Cherry almost yelled and Satoru could hear the swishing of her hair as she rapidly shook her head no. "...We...we worked together...remember, when I first came to Mentaru hospital as an intern you were the only one kind of enough to show me around and told me what to expect on the job...the way you care for your patients and tailor your approach and responses to each of them made me want to be able to do that...to heal people... to make a connection with them...D-Doc- I mean...Satoru-kun...I've always....always respected you...its why I wanted to become an official nurse there..."

"...Hrm..."Satoru was speechless, he didn't know what to say he wasn't sure if he was amused or embarrassed by her words. He felt his face heat up involuntarily that he had to swallow to try to compose himself. He tried to speak but found himself unable to form words."...I.....hmn.."

"So when I heard you were kicked out I was so upset that I wouldn't be working with you anymore...and then I became concerned about your mental health since I knew this job was your life apart from being a forensic scientist...And I know how much you wanted to heal Ayano Aishi."

"Don't say her name.." Satoru says as the stress returns to him. "She was a foolish girl who doesn't know whats good for her. I tried so hard to help her and this is what I get, a missing front tooth and a lost job."

"Satoru-kun...." Cherry says with concern in her voice once again. "You need to move on from that...I..I know its easier said than done but...this mindset isn't healthy. You still have your medical license you could help other people who needs and wants your help."

"You don't understand Nurse Cherry, I have been humiliated like this before."Satoru murmurs his mind briefly going back to the memory of a giggling Ryoba leaving the front door with a suitcase in her hand. "I don't have the will to move on from it. Not again." Especially when this humiliation was caused by another Aishi.

"T-Then lets talk about it!" nurse Cherry says cheerfully in an attempt to lighten the mood. "We can talk about it for as along as you want, I'll listen, Satoru I'll listen until you can move on from it."

"...."Satoru was silent and Nurse Cherry hoped it was him contemplating her offer. Whenever she was down a good talk with her grandmother always lifted her spirits.

"Thank you for your words, Nurse cherry." Satoru says softly. "But I'm afraid you would be listening for eternity. Simply talking about a problem won't make it go away. Only action does. Goodbye nurse."

"W-Wait, Satoru I-"

And with that Satoru ended the call with the nurse Cherry, he let his hand dropped to his side. He felt guilty for ending the call so abruptly and truly did want to believe her, her words oddly warmed him and it almost made him feel that it would truly be okay if they talked it out. But he knew she would only provide him lip service, it wouldn't solve his problems, his pain, his regrets. Doing what he was doing now would only solve and prevent his future problems. Action. Not talking.

His phone buzzes and he glances down to see that the nurse was sending him texts pleading for them to talk and that she would always be there to talk whenever he needed her. 

"....I'm sorry, but its best that you don't get involved with me." Satoru whispers to himself as he blocks nurse Cherry's number from his phone.

Once the deed was done he lets out a sigh of breath as he looked up at the vibrant moon and the dark clouds inching over to cover it. What he was doing was best for the Martial Arts Leader, if Satoru didn't do something then the horrible cycle would repeat again and again. He had to get through to him.

"...Its going to rain soon." Satoru murmurs watching as the moon slowly faded into darkness.

"Or rather a storm is approaching." A feminine voice says causing Satoru to quickly move his gaze toward the familiar voice. His stormy grey eyes widen as Ayano Aishi stood a foot from him looking like she ventured from hell. "Hello, Doctor."

A cold wind passes between them, Satoru's glasses produced a shining glare and Ayano's vacant eyes reflected his form. His white jacket and her familiar white bandana moved with the wind as well as the rustle of fallen leaves around them.

"Just how many times..."Satoru says his grey eyes locked on her charcoal ones. "Will we encounter each other like this."

"Don't worry, doctor." Ayano says coldly as she goes into her pocket and takes the note from her leather jacket out. "This will be the last time."

She lets it go and the note rides away with the wind.












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