IMPORTANT!
Please read if you don't want to be confused about this chapter.
This chapter will be Sin's POV from chapter 24 up to chapter 26. There were a few requests to read his POV and I feel like it's important to include this part to explain a few things that have happened in between that Calli doesn't know about.
Just a reminder that Sin struggled with mental health before meeting Calli. When he talks about "it" in this chapter he's talking about the emptiness he felt before he met her.
This chapter skips around quite a bit through time so you can get a picture of what happened while Calli was gone.
You technically *can* skip this chapter if you really want to but I recommend reading to make more sense of the story (:
happy reading! xx
—
Sinclair
The blade bites into her skin, the small beads of crimson stark against the pale flesh of her throat.
"Sin," she whispers, her chipped red fingernails biting into my wrist.
I cup my free hand over her cheek. It's clammy with her sweat and streaks of mascara rub into my palm.
She leans her head back, closing her eyes and enjoying the caress even though she knows what it means for her.
"Are you going to talk to me now?" I say, rubbing my thumb in small soothing circles.
Her eyelids flutter open. "I've told you enough."
"You told me that you let her escape. That you helped her. What you haven't told me is where she went."
Her lips flatten into a thin line. "Because I don't know."
My hand slides from her cheek into her fiery hair, tugging her head back so abruptly that it bangs into the wall. Amber winces, a small whimper emerging from her mouth.
"I don't believe you," I say.
A harsh laugh emerges from her throat but it comes out strained. Even now, she's putting on a brave face. I'm not sure if the fact wants to make me finish the job at my fingertips or pat her on the back.
"I never thought I'd see Sinclair Black this pussy-whipped in my life." She wiggles in my grasp, trying to tilt her head back further to ease the pull on her scalp.
My body presses her flat into the wall. Before she has a chance to enjoy it, I push my weight into her broken parts.
A hiss of pains escapes her clenched teeth. But then she smiles. "Maybe I do know where she is." She looks me in my eyes, looking satisfied with herself as she says, "What would you trade for that information, Black?"
My hand tightens in her hair, the frantic sensation in my gut picking up again. "I don't think you're in a position to barter."
"I disagree," she says, licking the red off of her teeth. "I see that scared look in your eyes. You're terrified you'll never see her again." She pries her fingers from my wrist to drape her arm over the back of my neck. The other hangs uselessly at her side, too mangled to move. "My life and a good fuck. That's what it'll take for me to tell you."
She winces as a rough laugh tumbles from my throat. As much as I want to believe her, she has a wild look in her eyes. Desperate. She knows she's backed into a corner and she's hanging onto the thread of a lie in the hope she can get milk something out of me before she goes.
"I believe you now," I say as I push the blade further into her throat, enjoying the red that weeps from her pretty porcelain skin. "You don't know anything. But that's okay." I lift my weight from her body, letting her enjoy the temporary relief it brings. "At least you won't hurt anymore."
She shuts her eyes. She knows what's coming. She knows there's nothing she can do to stop it.
She opens her mouth and for a moment I think she's going to curse me out but instead she whispers sorrowfully, "I love you."
I don't feel anything as I cut her throat. Not a thing as she slides down the wall, her eyes wide with betrayal. I turn away, heading for the door as the life trickles from her body. I let her pass with the knowledge that she's completely alone.
I want her to know how the emptiness feels. I want her to know what it's like watching your world being ripped from your hands.
But even after she dies, I still feel unsatisfied.
...
Theo eyes the blood caked to my shirt. "So I take it things didn't go well, or..?"
Oliver doesn't even bother looking up as I shut the door behind me. He continues to wrap Theo's hand in gauze, scowling as he says, "Now's not the time for that."
Theo frowns. "Now's not the time for what?"
"Talking to me when it might not go over well for you," I say as I lay the bloody knife across the bar, pulling the black T-shirt from over my head and dropping it on the ground. The ice is so thick in my veins that I probably wouldn't think twice about pulling out my gun and aiming it at his head.
You'd regret that later, some remaining scrap of sanity whispers in the back of my mind. I hardly acknowledge it. All I can think about is how he had her in his grasp and let her slip away.
Something fierce and violent rears its head through the desolation festering inside my chest at the thought. It only lasts a second before smoothing back into nothingness.
Funny how something can feel so familiar and foreign at the same time. To be honest, I never noticed the emptiness had disappeared until the warmth I'd somehow regained vanished with the rest of her.
"Once you're done, you're going to find her." I grab a bottle of alcohol, not bothering noticing what kind it is as I pop off the cork and bring it to my mouth. "You will find her. You hear me?"
One of them says something but I don't listen as I down the liquor with ease, granting the burn in the back of my throat with open arms.
It hasn't been long since she left but I know it won't take much longer until it takes me again. God help the man that stands in front of me when it does.
...
"She's gone," Oliver says, looking away as he utters the words I've been dreading all night. "It's best to call this off and look more tomorrow. She's probably holed up somewhere right now."
For a second, I'm hit with agony so deep that I can barely breathe.
I push it away before they notice. I dread the fact it'll resurface twice as strong once I'm alone again. "Go back out and look again. I don't give a fuck you've looked through every inch of this city."
Theo winces, rubbing his wrapped arm in his hand. "We need rest, Sin. You need rest. We've been searching for hours."
I stride forward, wrapping my hand around his neck and pushing him into the wall. His face steels over from the action but he doesn't make an effort to push my grip away. "If you want to live you'll find her. Tonight at the latest." Or is it morning? It's some ungodly hour of the night. All I know is that the sun will be up soon and she'll be back on the move.
Theo's jaw clenches. "No."
"Theo," Oliver warns behind me.
I snort. "You have a death wish, don't you?" His guarded expression never wavers. It's odd on his face. Unfamiliar. Usually Theo is an open book.
Suspicion rises inside of me. "Do you know something I don't?"
Oliver grips my arm. "Sin. Ease up."
I don't even spare him a glance. "Say something."
Theo stays silent and something ugly breaks inside of me.
I keep tabs on my men. I like to know what they're doing outside of the time spent by my side, especially those I keep close at hand. You never know who might betray you.
"What's that girl's name again? The pretty one with the curly hair?" Theo stiffens against me. "I know all about her, Theo. I know you sneak into her house at night and leave early in the morning." His nostrils flare, fury settling in an odd mask over his usually charismatic features. "You give me my woman, I let you keep yours."
"Sometimes I forget what a real piece of shit you can be," he breathes.
I smile. I never forget.
He's silent for a long conflicted moment, then he sighs. "I found her. She's safe."
Relief rushes through me so intensely my knees nearly buckle.
"She's angry," he winces. "Really angry. I'd be careful if I were you."
I force my grip to lighten a notch around his neck. "Where?"
"Somewhere on East Ave. I told her to get a motel somewhere in the area," he says, glancing at something behind me as the words fall from his mouth. He looks a tad troubled but in all honesty I don't give a fuck
The information is as reassuring as it is frustrating. The East side of the city is rich in tourists and there's a cheap motel at every street corner. Still—it's better than nothing. With a little bit of digging, I'm sure I can find her by the end of tomorrow night.
No—not sure. I will find her by tomorrow. And if she's in any condition less than perfect, there's going to be a problem.
—
a/n
Feel free to ask any questions you might have if you're confused about this chapter. The "..." symbolize the passing of time, so first section is immediately after Calli escapes, middle is before he sends Oliver/Theo out to find her, and last is after they've come back and tried to give her a chance for freedom.