"All right" —I look down at the yen in my hand, closing my fist around it— "we have enough for two ice creams if you want one, but I don't think that's embracing the Japanese culture. What do you think?"
Robin and I stroll through the bustling streets of Tokyo with our eyes on each other. Around us, everything is still lit up to what seems like its full capacity, despite it being the middle of the day. It feels like everyone in the entire city is out and about with their errands to run.
I'm able to use my peripheral vision to avoid any and all people that move in our direction—sometimes, that includes pushing a distracted Robin out of the pedestrians' way too. The blaring sun that shines down on us all prompts some to wear wide brim hats or equip themselves with sun umbrellas, making the game of dodging all the more difficult.
Robin nods absentmindedly. "Yeah," he muses softly. "Sure."
I grin mischievously, knowing all too well he wasn't listening. "So you will go bungee jumping with me?"
The Boy Wonder freezes up, ears perking. His eyes have dilated to the size of saucers and his grip on my hand has loosened as his jaw drops. By not listening, he's cornered himself into this game of who can go the furthest while pretending he had, indeed, been paying attention.
"I'm sorry?"
"Oh. Weren't you listening to what I was saying?"
Robin forces a chuckle. "Of course I was," he says, squeezing my hand. "I always listen to you."
"It's okay. I know you were." I let go of his hand and skip forward a few steps, turning around to face him with a wicked grin. "So... what would you say is the weirdest thing to eat in Tokyo?"
My boyfriend stares at me and blinks through the confusion. "I-I thought you said bungee jumping," he states slowly. "Which one was it?"
I grin. "Neither." I feel my eyes ignite with a dangerous spark, though no colour shows in them. "It was even more crazy."
"Holy..."
Robin, having since caught up to me, nudges me in my side. I turn to him and he grins, but the look in his eyes gradually becomes more distant and the smile on his lips dissipates as he turns away. I don't have to ask to know what's bothering him—who else could it be but Brushogun?—and my giddy attitude begins to fade too, dampened by his change of mood.
~~~
I sit at the very top of Mount Fuji, sighing in relief as I stare out at Tokyo. From beside me, Robin's teeth chatter uncontrollably as he struggles to catch up to me. I purse my lips guiltily and begin to warm up my hands—not too hot for the Boy Wonder—and hold him in my warm embrace once he finally reaches me.
"You okay?" I question softly, my hand running through his frozen and matted hair.
"So... c-cold" he mumbles, and I pull him into me.
"Sorry." I flash the Boy Wonder a smile he can't see, but he hears it in the tone of my voice. "If you had've said something earlier, we could have stopped."
Robin shakes his head. Both of us know he's too stubborn for that. Instead, he replies, "Y-you should have done this w-with S-Starfire."
I giggle. "I'm realising that now."
My laughter dies down and mingles with an uncomfortable silence that I'm desperate to break. For once, however, I don't know what to say with Robin. His locked thoughts on the case make it even harder to strike a new conversation.
"What do you want to do next?"
Robin barely manages to look up. "I d-dunno."
"Something like this?" I ask playfully.
"No! " the Boy Wonder shouts. As he sighs, fog escapes his mouth and obscures my vision of the city. "W-why didn't we just fly up?"
I glare at him scornfully. "Where's the fun in that?"
"The fun in that is not freezing to death."
My eyes narrow to the point where I'm not sure they can narrow any further, and I punch Robin on the shoulder softly—at least, I thought it was soft. He lets out a loud yelp and holds the spot I hit, and my eyes widen immensely at his pained reaction.
"Ow! Ember! "
"Sorry!"
My hands heat up again and I press down on the Boy Wonder's shoulder. He looks up at me with a warm, yet distant smile—in it, he tells me that he's not angry and it doesn't hurt all that much, but that his mind is in other places once again. I return it but as he looks away, my smile contorts into a thoughtful frown.
"Earth to Robin?"
Robin's head snaps back towards me. "Hmm?"
Though I know what he's thinking of, I still tap his forehead and ask, "What's going on up in here?"
In my perfect world, Robin turns to look at me. He grabs my hand and looks into my eyes with a sincerity that cannot be faked, and I search him for any way I can help. Before I can, however, he opens his mouth and his heart as he opens up to me; he tells me everything.
In reality, however, Robin shakes his head. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."
In my perfect world, he trusts me. It doesn't feel like he does right now.
~~~
From the top of the latticework tower, I watch the sun set. My head lies on Robin's shoulder and he has an arm wrapped around my body, drawing patterns on my bicep with his finger. Our chests rise together, and our breathing patterns have grown to be synchronised.
He presses a kiss to the side of my temple, causing me to look up at him curiously. I've noticed that throughout the day, he's been occupied with his thoughts—sometimes more intrigued by them than what's actually going on. This sudden change of pace makes me suspicious of him, as I know he's not the type to just let something like this case go.
"Are you okay?"
I look up at my boyfriend, who is now staring down at me; his finger on my arm has frozen, stopped in its routine. I suddenly realise that my body has tensed as I've processed my thoughts, and try to relax as much as I can—enough to convince the boy next to me, anyway.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
Robin shrugs. "I don't know." He's silent for a moment, as if he's trying to work out the right way to put this. "What're you thinking about?"
"Nothing," I say quickly—too quickly. I wince and I'm pretty sure Robin notices, because I see his eyebrow raise through my peripheral vision. "Nothing."
"You can talk to me, you know," he reminds me. "About anything."
"Yeah, I know."
"So, what is it?"
Robin looks down at me affectionately, but it still seems like he's hiding his own secret. I want to know what it is, but I can't just ask him. There has to be another way. I already know he's been thinking about Brushogun, so that has to be what he's thinking about.
Right?
I don't know what to say. If it were any one of the other Titans, I would be able to confide in them and talk to them about my concerns regarding Robin's borderline obsession with his work and the case—for obvious reasons, I can't discuss that with the boy next to me. My brain whizzes to think of a quick lie to save myself, even temporarily, and I know just the one that will alleviate the pressure on me and open up Robin to talk about what's concerning him at the same time.
"It's Brushogun."
"Brushogun?"
It's almost as if he doesn't believe me, which is fair enough. While he's spent the day looking at the case from all angles—at least, that's what I think he's been doing—I've been trying to get him to forget about it. For someone who has, as of ten seconds ago, confessed to having not taken their mind off the case, my behaviour isn't reflective of that.
"Mhmm. Yeah. Brushogun, Saico-Tek... yeah." I nod enthusiastically, but silently I'm cursing myself for being such a bad liar when it comes to the people I care about. I look down, averting my gaze—hopefully Robin doesn't remember our training on how to spot liars, but if he does he doesn't mention it—and kick my feet. "But what can we do? He's a myth; the Commander said so himself. We should just enjoy Tokyo while we're here, like the others are doing."
"We can't, though."
Well, alright, then.
"We're heroes. We can't take vacations, Ember. We have to do our duty."
I roll my eyes and tuck my knees into my chest. "That's Bruce talking," I remark. "What does Dick think?"
The Boy Wonder frowns—whether it's at the mention of his real name or the fact that I've brought up his former mentor, I don't know—and looks away from me. "Dick thinks the same thing. That this is all a waste, and we should either work on the case here or go back to Jump City and do something worthwhile there."
I open my mouth to speak. "I—"
"Dick also thought that Amber thought the same thing. He thought she was on his side."
"Yeah, well, Amber thinks talking in the third person is stupid," I say lightly. My effort to relieve the tension falls flat and Robin glares at me pointedly, extracting a heavy sigh from my lips. "I'm on your side, Robin. Always have been, always will be. I just think it's in your best interests to—"
"We can't—"
"—take a break," we finish at the same time.
I glance down at the empty space between our bodies longingly; in the midst of our small argument, one of us has shuffled away from the other, but I can't recall who it was. Robin follows my gaze and we stare at our separated hands, but neither of us makes the move to rejoin them. When it becomes too unbearable, I pull my left hand further away and rub it with my right one.
"Brushogun's a myth," I state.
Robin looks back up. "So why do I feel like he's still out there somewhere?"
"People are wrong," I shoot back softly.
The Boy Wonder shakes his head. "No," he replies adamantly. "Not me. Not about this."
"Look, even if you aren't wrong" —I feel my features pull into a frown, and this one seems to last— "what can you do about it right now? We have no leads, no Saico-Tek, no backup—"
Robin looks up. "I have you."
I shake my head. "That's not enough. You know it isn't." I know I can list reasons off the top of my head as to why we need each Titan, but I don't go that far just yet. "Maybe it's time to just enjoy yourself? Live without work, without stress, without fear, even if it's for a moment."
"I'm not scared."
"I know you're not right now," I say, "but everyone's scared at some point. Fear is a powerful—"
"Fear!"
Robin socks his fist into his palm all of a sudden and turns away from me, now facing the rest of the city. I shoot the Boy Wonder a curious glance, but he's already in his own world—I get the feeling that there's next to nothing I can say to bring him back into my world; into ours. His eyes have widened in realisation and his eyebrows have furrowed in what is no longer aimless determination.
"Saico-Tek was afraid of someone, terrified. And whoever they are, they're in Tokyo." Robin turns to me and grins, almost maniacally. "Everyone may think Brushogun is a myth, but to Saico-Tek, he was real."
"That's barely a lead, Robin," I note, reluctant to pop the bubble that the Boy Wonder's created around himself. As I predicted, his giddy smile fades. "How can you stop someone who isn't real?"
"He is real. I have to find him."
This time, it's me who turns away. "Robin, if you decide to do this," I begin, still unsure of my choice, "you'll be doing it without me."
Robin's voice is almost inaudible. "What?"
"It's a wild goose chase. There's no point."
"It's not," "Robin argues. "We have a chance to stop all of this by taking down Brushogun, and you're saying you won't do it?! "
"I'm sure the Commander and his men can handle it," I deflect. "They seemed to have it under control before. It's out of our hands. It's not our problem anymore."
"Saico-Tek attacked our city, our home. That makes it our problem."
"That makes it your problem," I remind him, "because you never know when to stop. The best thing for you to do right now is walk away from this addiction of yours." I take a deep breath, not allowing myself to glance at my boyfriend. "Just like I'm doing right now."
I stand up and turn away from Robin, but not before noticing his glassy eyes and crinkled brow. Despite his sadness, a part of him still wants to solve this case: the case of us, and why I'm walking away from him right now. A million questions flood his brain and I can see them in his blue eyes that still stare up at me in shock.
"Ember!"
I whip around so fast that portions of my hair are held on my lip. My eyebrows raise of their own accord as I await what the Boy Wonder's about to say—part of me holds out feeble hope that he'll give me another chance to turn around—and when he extends the silence between us, I jut my head forward slightly as an indication that I'm listening.
"We're not at home. Don't get in trouble."
A grim smile works its way to my lips as I nod numbly. "Yeah. You too."
I turn around once more and my eyes flutter shut as I walk to the edge of the rooftop. Now that I know this is Robin's choice as well, the act of leaving is made slightly easier. I'm incredibly grateful for the Boy Wonder's gadgets—if he didn't have them in his arsenal, it'd be an awkward flight down—but shift my focus to blinking away the tears as my mind formulates the only question I want to ask.
What did I just walk away from?
~~~
The moon's bright reflection is obscured by a skyscraper-shaped shadow, but it doesn't stop its dim light from looming over my head as I skulk through the unknown alleyway. My knuckles turn a fearsome white from holding onto the recently purchased cloak that sits on my shoulders with a death grip.
After leaving Robin at the rooftop, the first thing I did was walk into the nearest and biggest clothing store that had the hint of English speaking staff. I recall plucking the first cloak I could find—which also happened to be the blandest in colour and design—and slamming five thousand yen down on the receptionist's table.
"This one, please."
The receptionist's features pull into an irked expression as she stares down at the note before her. "Four thousand yen," she says. Her slim hand moves down to point at the price tag on the cloak. "See? Not five."
From behind the register, someone shouts something to the woman in Japanese. She turns and shouts something back, shooting me an apologetic look beforehand. As the conversation continues, I look behind me—almost as if I had expected Robin to change his mind and follow me to the store. When I don't see him, I turn around, just as the lady behind the register does.
"That'll be four thousand yen, please."
I smile and nod my head in acknowledgement, pushing the note as far forward as I can. "I know. Keep the change."
As my thoughts venture to the item around my person, I pull it tighter and ensure the hood's covering my face—so far, it has fulfilled its purpose and rendered me invisible to the searching eye. No one has even tried to engage in a conversation with me.
"Hey!"
I freeze in place and curse myself for jinxing my luck. The cloak has seemed to do its job too well—it's made me like any other person in all of Tokyo. What comes with that, and what I had not foreseen, is that I am made to look as defenceless as the average citizen. If my crime-wired brain is correct, this person has not hollered after me so aggressively for a friendly conversation.
Reluctantly, I rotate my body to face the man who called after me and observe him. He stands at least a foot taller than me, but his frame is slim with features not cruel. His hair, jet black, falls around his face.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a part of town like this?" he questions.
I frown at the flirtatious tone of his voice. "I'm not from here," I snap quietly.
"Aren't you?"
As the man begins to circle here, his face begins to contort into a primal sneer and his hand disappears under his leather jacket. I follow it to find him brandishing a knife, but my eyes stay on it too long and he notices. Before I can react I'm being pressed up against the wall, back to the bricks.
"You're gonna give me all of your money," the man whispers into my ear. "Got it, girlie? Or you're not gonna like what comes next."
For a moment, and for the first time since I sent my father to prison, I am frozen with fear—I hate it, I hate it, I hate it more than anything. Shivers run up my spine uncontrollably and I gulp instinctively, before catching myself midway through. My impulsive fear only makes me more determined to get out of the situation, as I decide to use it to push through instead of run away.
I cock my head, and with one swift motion we're both twirled around and it's the man who's being pressed into the wall. My hands grab him by the collar and I shove him into the wall once more, watching him wince as his head takes the brunt of the force. I loosen my grip and allow my forearm to rest against his neck, pushing just hard enough to make him uncomfortable.
"You picked the wrong girl to steal from tonight," I spit. My vision turns red—both figuratively and literally—and the criminal's eyes widen in realisation.
"You—you're—"
"Here's what you're going to do," I continue, ignoring the sounds that come out of his mouth. "You're going to give me the knife. You're going to turn yourself in to the police. You're going to leave this life behind, or I'll find you. Do you understand me?"
He doesn't need to know Robin doesn't intend on us staying long in Tokyo, I remark silently, as my thoughts turn to the Boy Wonder. Robin... I wonder what he's doing right now. Hopefully he's doing better than me.
The criminal nods enthusiastically, agreeing with my terms. I release my grip on him and take a step back, holding my hand out expectantly. He stares after it, at a loss with what I want, and I roll my eyes.
"The knife, pl—"
I lean back as the man swings the weapon in my direction, narrowly missing my face. My eyes hold their red hue and I put it to use; the rubber acting as a handle for the knife begins to melt in the criminal's hand. He shouts and drops the knife, and I steady it mid-air before bringing it into my hold.
"Thanks." I smile at the criminal, who takes a step back and eyeballs the knife. My smile drops slightly before reforming brighter and happier than before. "Come on, I'm not going to stab you. If I wanted you dead, you wouldn't be standing here right now."
Police sirens race past the two of us, and I look out to see red and blue lighting up the building opposite us. "I'll come with you, o-okay?" the man says shakily. "Just don't" —he gulps and eyes the knife before his gaze meets mine— "don't kill me. Please."
I sigh. "I won't." I lean backward just in time to watch the last van disappear from my view. My vision fogs as I exhale and move back to the criminal. "But we have to hurry. I'm on holiday."
The criminal nods absentmindedly, brushing past me as he walks to the end of the alleyway. He glances up and down the road, before taking off in the direction the police cars are coming from. My eyes widen and my jaw drops.
"Hey!" I holler, feet skidding as I round the corner. "Whatever your name is!"
The man's almost out of sight. He turns around and shoots me an arrogant smirk before continuing to run. I growl and hold my hands out, stopping him in the air. The wind swirls around me and in no more than five seconds, the criminal is sitting with on the pavement harshly beside me.
"What is your name?" The man doesn't respond, and I huff. "Come on, man. Either I find out now or I find out on the police reports."
When he still doesn't say anything, I sigh to myself and bend down to his level. Whatever, I think, but the word isn't verbalised. I grab his wrists and yank them behind him—earning a yelp from the criminal—before making handcuffs out of the earth and binding them together with an ice chain.
"Akio."
I look up in confusion. "Akio?"
Raven's voice fills my ears with a snort. Who's Akio?
Not now, Raven, I shoot back. I make yet another note to ask the half-demon about our recent telepathy as soon as I see her again.
"Akio Miyazaki," the man confirms, nodding irritably. After a few moments of silence, his sour exterior begins to dissipate in the slightest and he looks up to me. "What's your name?"
"You can call me Ember," I say.
"What else can I call you?"
My expression automatically hardens at his boldness. "You can't," I spit.
Akio purses his lips before turning to glare at me, and I smirk. My eyes flicker brown and small spikes form on the inside of the cuffs, forcing his lips into a scowl. Regret begins to seep through my bones and I look down guiltily, desperate to change the subject of conversation to anything else.
"I wonder where the police are going."
Akio only grins wryly. "Maybe they're looking for me."
I shake my head as I turn back to the scenery on the streets. Every now and then, police cars race by us without showing signs of stopping, and the people return to their normal activity. Despite it being late at night, the city is still lit up with bright lights that have not dimmed in the slightest since we arrived in Tokyo the night before.
"Maybe," I muse. My hand moves forward and I point to a random sign. "What does that say?"
Akio sighs—he seems to be able to sense that this will not be the last time that question is asked—and squints. "All You Can Eat," he reads out, "then some stuff about portion limits so they don't end up going out of business."
I nod. "Makes sense."
We reach the intersection, and a crowd begins to form. A hot pink light shines from the front and my initial thought is that Akio and I have stumbled into some kind of concert, but the police cars at the front put that theory to bed as quickly as it spawned. The red and blue mingles with the pink to create an off purple, but the bright colours aren't my priority as I push and shove my way through the crowd until I get to the front.
The silhouette of a young man stands, with another man lying limply in his arms. His hand is curled into a fist and he hammers it into the other person's skull more times than necessary. It's a wonder the police haven't already intervened, but I soon find my answer as I look around and the Commander is nowhere to be found.
It's not until the sign's light turns back on that I realise it's Robin.
My breath hitches as I lock eyes with the boy I thought I knew. His hair is unruly from the act he just committed in front of my eyes and blood hugs his collar, splatters staining his clothes. His body rises and falls with his chest, and his eyes have widened since spotting me in the crowd.
I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. My hand moves to cover my mouth and I let out a choked gasp, holding back the tears as I struggle with what I'm seeing. It can't be, I think. He would never—Robin would never...
But he would, another voice reasons in my head, and he did. You saw it yourself. He just killed somebody.
I shake my head and close my eyes for a moment, but it's too late. The image of Robin brutally punching in a poor citizen of Japan is burned into my memory, and I fear greatly that I will never be able to forget it. It will haunt my dreams and rip to shreds everything I thought I knew about him. The boy I love is a murderer, and he will be for as long as we both live.
The Commander jumps out of the front vehicle and his mouth contorts to form words but I can't hear what he's saying—I can't hear anything. My entire body shakes with a numbness I've rarely felt before, but I know from the outset that I don't like it at all. My hand finds the binding chain of Akio's handcuffs—somewhere in my befuddled brain, taking him to the police station is the most reasonable next step—and I'm sprinting away from all of this.
I make the mistake of looking up, only to find Robin staring at me numbly as he allows his own cuffs to be forced on him. He only diverts his attention when one of the Troopers forces his head into a cargo van. The Boy Wonder's mouth moves and the veins in his neck pulse to indicate that he's shouting something, but the buzz in my ears drowns it out.
I try to be strong. I really do. My mouth pulls itself into a thin line of disapproval for a second, but my bottom lip begins to wobble and so I look away. Tears prick my eyes and I allow my eyelids to flutter shut in a feeble attempt to stop them; I already know nothing will stop the oncoming waterworks.
The very second I turn the corner, I shove Akio away from me and yank open the lid of the nearest rubbish bin. Without warning, I heave the contents of my lacklustre dinner into it—the sight of my boyfriend killing an innocent man has now made me figuratively and literally sick to my stomach.
In the meantime, my mind goes into overdrive in order to find the miracle solution where I'm somehow delusional and I didn't see what I saw. My body won't stop shaking from my sobs and it's becoming hard to focus on my thoughts over my increasing hysterics.
"Please..." I mutter. "No..."
A hand wraps around my body and I know it's Akio—who else could it be?—but still push it away. My thoughts are relentless; there seems to be no escape to the conclusion I fear the most, but already see as the truth. My hand finds its way to my heart; it feels like a million tiny shards of glass have impaled the organ.
So much for a holiday.