Cameron
As I find my way back down the hallway, Ethan calls my name. He's playing his video game while everyone is downstairs, and I find it rude, but I'm not his parent. "What was that about with you and Maddie?" He asks. "You are with Katie, right? Or am I imagining things?"
I step inside and close the door behind me, shuffling heaps of clothes and random water bottles to make my way to his bed. It's so messy in here that it's disgusting.
"Yeah, I am." I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "I was just going to tell her that she didn't have to tutor Katie. I know it'll be awkward for her, and—"
"And you had to let her know her hair was pretty," Ethan smiles and lets out a laugh, pausing his game so that he can look at me. "Look, I just want to let you know that I won't stand in your way anymore if you want to date my sister. I was stupid when we were in high school, and if you have feelings for her after all this time then I'm not going to hold you back. Clearly, you're serious about it, so I'm not opposed."
I stare at him dumbfounded for a few seconds, unsure of how to reply to that. He doesn't understand that what happened between Maddie and I wasn't all based on his opinion of us. It was more than that.
And I'm with Katie now. She's funny, gorgeous, and kind-hearted. She would do anything for anyone, and I appreciate that about her. I'm not going to give that up when Maddie probably doesn't even want a relationship with me anyways.
She had a five-year plan, and we aren't there yet. She's at Briarwood and if I'm drafted, she surely won't want anything with me. I'd have to move and travel all the time. That's not a life she'd want to sign up for. Katie is all on board for it.
"Thanks, but that ship has sailed," I tell him. "I've been with Katie for a few months now and I really like her."
He smiles as if I'm lying and starts his game back up. "Okay. I'm just saying, there's a reason why you just got a girlfriend after four years. And there's a reason why Maddie is still single. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out."
"I think you're putting too much thought into it, bro." I chuckle and find my way back to his door, moving clothing and plates out of the way. "Maybe you should put some of that thought into cleaning your room."
"Fuck out of here!" He laughs as I close the door shut and let out a massive sigh.
I shouldn't have made the comment about her hair. I didn't know Ethan's door was open, and if I had then I would have kept my mouth shut. But Maddie looked gorgeous. She always looks gorgeous. Was it a crime to tell her that?
If I had known she would be here then I wouldn't have come over. I would have stayed as far away from her because I knew I would get like this. Suddenly my thoughts are all fuzzy, and all I can think about is her.
And just now, when she opened up that door in just a damn t-shirt, I pictured all of the things I could do to her. I miss those breasts, and I miss her face when I was inside of her.
I wanted to push her right into that room and down onto her bed. I'd move that little t-shirt up and lick her clit over and over again just like I used to. She was always so wet for me. The wettest anyone has ever been for me.
Good god.
What the hell is wrong with me?
It was only a fucking month that we dated, so why does it feel like a train came out of nowhere and hit me now that she's here? I've been with Katie for longer than we ever dated, but I don't feel like this around her.
Maybe it's because Maddie was my first love. She always will be. They say that it takes the longest to get over your first, and maybe that's just what this is. Maybe it's going to take longer to heal from the breakup with her. Maybe four years wasn't enough time.
"Finally." Katie tugs on my arm when I reach the bottom step. She's waiting by the door, and I lean down to kiss her, cupping her cheek with my hand.
"Sorry, Ethan wanted to talk to me," I say as I pull away. "Are you ready to go?"
Mary is barreling towards us though with a plate wrapped in tinfoil. "Wait!" She calls out. "I have some cookies for you both to bring home."
She pulls me in for a warm embrace as Katie sends her a smile and takes the plate. It's not until I go to pull away that she says, "I'm sorry about Maddie, honey. We didn't know she would be here until the last minute."
Clearing my throat awkwardly, Katie furrows her eyebrows together in confusion as she looks from me to Mary. "Sorry, but why is it a problem if Maddie is here?"
Mary laughs nervously when she realizes she just let out a truth I hadn't gotten around to yet. "Oh dear," she says. "I, um...have to get back to the party."
Katie hands the plate back to me and storms outside, and I quickly follow on her heels until we reach my car. "Katie." I grasp onto her wrist so that she'll turn to face me. "I was going to tell you, I just—"
"When were you going to tell me?" She blinks away tears. "You talk about her all the time, but I just thought she was your childhood best friend. I didn't think you guys had a past."
"We only dated for like a month," I say, and that seems to calm her down for the time being. "It didn't work out between us."
"Why?" She asks.
"Because—" I stop myself, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse. "Because we were going separate ways. She didn't want to be in a long-distance relationship, and we both needed to have time to find ourselves after high school."
"Oh, great." She tosses her hands up and throws open the passenger side door. "So she's the one that ended things."
"What does that have to do with anything?" I grab onto her wrist again before she can get into the car. "Katie," I whisper, setting the plate of cookies on top of the car, "I'm with you for a reason, alright? Maddie and I aren't together anymore. It's been years since we dated."
I tilt her chin up with my fingertips and kiss her gently, trying to let her know how much she means to me. It doesn't take long before her hands come around the sides of my face to pull me closer, and I let my hands travel down her back.
"Okay, let's go home," she pants, and the look in her eye lets me know that she wants me and that all is forgiven. I've grown accustomed to it.
"Well, we could..." I inch her back towards the car, and she hits me swiftly on the shoulder.
She giggles. "Absolutely not. Sex is for the bedroom."
Immediately, like a switch goes off, images of Maddie flood back in. I don't want them to, and I try to force them out, but I picture her in my car, riding the shit out of me. I remember the weekend at the Grand Canyon when I took her in that bathroom stall. She was ready for me at all times, and the sex we had was so...hot.
What the fuck am I even doing right now?
Letting out another sigh, I grab the cookies from the top of the car and go around to the driver's seat.
I'm not going to keep thinking about Maddie. She said she wanted a five-year plan, and even when we get there we will still have to be long-distance. It's never going to work between us and I just have to accept that. I need to move on.
I have to stay away from her as much as I possibly can if I want whatever Katie and I have to last.
Grabbing onto Katie's hand, I bring it up to my mouth to kiss it. "Let's go home then," I say with a wicked grin, the one that I know will get me what I want.
***
Maddie
Five days later
I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack as I sit in this driveway. Not an ounce of me wants to go into Cameron's house. There are too many memories, too many things I will remember about us.
I insisted on doing the tutoring at my house, but for whatever reason Katie was adamant about doing it here. I guess all of her stuff for the paper was here and she didn't feel like lugging it all.
Letting out a sigh, I close the door to my mom's car—that she so graciously let me borrow—behind me, and walk up the familiar stone gravel path. Cameron's house makes mine look like garbage, and that's saying something since I think my house is pretty nice.
Before I knock, I glance down at the sweatpants and sweatshirt I threw on, nodding my head before I tap my knuckles on the door. I needed to look like I wasn't trying. I don't want Katie to get the wrong idea.
"Hey!" She says cheerfully, her teeth all perfectly straight and white. "Thank you again so much for helping me with this."
I follow her into the kitchen and see a bunch of textbooks spread out all over the counter. She wasn't joking when she said there was a lot, and I start to wonder how much her bags cost to fly out here.
Wearing a crop top and a pair of short shorts, she parades around the kitchen, her tiny and toned body fully on display to me. I find myself becoming jealous, and I hate feeling that way, but I am. I don't go to the gym. I never have. My body isn't out of shape per se, but it definitely doesn't look like Katie's.
"So, what's the paper on exactly?" I scan the textbooks to see if I can figure it out, setting my backpack down on a barstool.
She groans and puts her face into her hands. "Molecular biology. I know nothing. I am a total and utter idiot in science."
"Hey, you're not an idiot," I tell her. "Science isn't an easy course. It's not like you're flunking gym."
This causes her to laugh, and finally, the awkwardness begins to fade away. "Okay, so...the topic?" I ask.
She rummages through her folders to find some papers that she's printed off before she passes them over to me. As I scan through it, I don't even notice Cameron when he walks into the room. The fridge opens, and he has no shirt on. I can see his muscles contracting effortlessly as he tries to find whatever it is he came down here for.
"I thought you were staying upstairs?" Katie asks and then sees the look of confusion I give her. "To give us quiet time to study," she clarifies.
"I am," he says, and then gives me a sheepish grin. "Sorry, I just had to grab something to drink."
Passing a water bottle back and forth between his hands, it takes everything I have not to look at his chest. I know it's probably even more defined than before. I know it looks nothing short of incredible.
I look back to the paper and clear my throat. "Okay, so structure and components of a gene..." I trail off, scanning more of the words. "How do molecules move in and out of a cell? Okay, so this won't be that hard. I actually know a lot about this. Do you have your sources gathered yet?"
She shakes her head. "No. I literally haven't done anything."
"That's fine," I tell her. "We'll just need to look through some scientific journals first then. You don't want to get any sources that aren't credible, like Wikipedia or something."
"Cameron," Katie repeats, and I don't realize it until now, but he's staring at me. He snaps out of whatever it was he was thinking about and stands up straighter.
"Sorry," he mutters and walks around to give Katie a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm going. Enjoy your paper writing."
Disappearing up the stairs, I steal a glance at his abs when he passes by and really wish I didn't. What used to be a six-pack seems to have turned into an eight. He's so fit, and so tall. He's got a face that you'd remember for life. A face that I used to love watching while he slept. He's perfect.
"Sorry," she says, and then it looks like she's debating on whether or not to ask me something. "Okay, can we just get the awkwardness out of the way?"
My eyes widen as I nod, and I know instantly that he told her about us.
Oh shit.
"Look, I know you dated in the past, and Cameron said it didn't mean anything, but I just need to make sure it's not weird for you to be here. Do you still like him, or are you over it too?"
It didn't mean anything?
That month, as short as it was, meant a hell of a lot to me. It was more than just a fling, and I thought he felt that way too. I guess I was wrong.
"It's over and done with," I reassure her. "Honestly. I don't feel that way about him anymore, so you don't have to feel awkward. Cameron is just a good friend. That's it."
My phone goes off in my pocket, so I fish it out and see Maya's name light up on the screen. Meet me at my job later! I want to show you where I work.
I text her back for the address and that I will before I shove the phone back into my pocket and refocus my attention on Katie.
"Can we get started now?" I ask, and even I can tell my demeanor has shifted. I don't want his words to hurt me, but they do. I guess he's truly over us, and at some point, I'll have to move on too. The five-year plan was stupid anyways.
Sending me a tiny smile, Katie nods her head and opens up her laptop.