Vic's pov*
"Hey Captain is everything okay" I asked when I noticed that Andy was just laying down on the gym floor.
"Yeah I'm fine Carina stopped by early in the morning to grab Maya's things and it was hard for us and well it was hard to see that state that Carina is in" explained Andy who was still looking up at the ceiling.
"Did she give you anything of Mayas?" I asked as I sat down on the floor next to her.
"Yeah she gave me a hoodie and she gave me the last photo of me and Maya together. I didn't even realize Carina took a picture of us that day" explained Andy as she moved around a bit to put her head in my lap.
"What was the picture of" I asked gently as I played with her hair.
"I was hanging out with Carina and Maya it was a rough shift for Maya that day remember that day we went to a call and a dude attacked Maya because of whatever reason well me and Maya were at her place drinking and we got drunk and started smacking the shit out of each other with the pillows and then we ended up passing out on the floor it was an interesting night to be honest" laughed Andy.
"There was this one day you were off but we gotten this call it was an intense call but oh man Maya came out of that building traumatized one of the residents she went to go rescue was naked and she saw more than she wanted to she went back to the station and showered for what felt like hours and was tempted to pour bleach on her eyes" I laughed.
"Oh my god, do you remember when Jack thought he could beat Maya at a race before we even knew she competed in the Olympics the deal was if he won every time it was his turn for bathroom duty she would have to do it and if she won he would do it for a whole month oh my god she smoked him" laughed Andy.
"God the number of times we walked in on them god I felt like I should have gone to therapy from that alone" I said.
"I mean eh they were an attractive couple hmm" said Andy.
"Come on we need to get up who knows what is going on with us in here" I said.
"I guess you are right" said Andy as she took a deep breath and stood up and helped me up as well.
Carina's pov*
"Carina you can't be here when you are this intoxicated how did you even get here" sighed Jack.
"I want to be with my wife" I slurred as I stumbled a little bit.
"SHES GONE CARINA SHES NEVER COMING BACK WHY DONT YOU GET IT" yelled Jack as he got closer to me.
"You better step away from her" said Dean as he pushed him away from me.
"Hey, Car why don't we take you to the captain's office" said Dean.
"No I want to be with Maya I don't want to do this anymore I want her back please" I cried.
"Shhh it's okay why don't we go find Andy and Vic they will most likely be better help than me right now" said Dean as he went to grab me.
"Please don't touch me it'll be too soft" I said.
"That's okay I won't touch you you know you are always welcome here Carina you are still a part of the station 19 family that won't ever change" explained Dean as we went to knock on the captain's door.
"Hey, guys what's up I thought I heard some yelling earlier but I couldn't be too sure is everything okay" asked Andy who was holding hands with Vic.
"Carina is a little intoxicated and she said she needed to speak to you but Jack got into her face when she said that she wanted to be with her wife I had to push him away from her I'll take whatever punishment you give me but I couldn't let him get into her face like that" explained Dean.
"I won't punish you for protecting her but I'll speak to Jack after thanking you for bringing her to me" said Andy as we went into the office.
"Do you want Vic to stay or do you want her to leave" asked Andy?
"She can stay" I said nervously.
"Okay, do you want to sit on the floor against the wall" asked Andy making me nod my head.
"Do you want to tell us why you came to the station intoxicated not that we are judging you because you are allowed to grieve however you want if that means getting drunk then that's okay" said Vic.
"I want to be with my wife guys I can't sleep anymore because I have nightmares of her being trapped and begging me to help her. I had a good dream the last time I slept me and Maya were cuddling on the couch watching the movie black and blue and it was nice until I woke up and realized she was gone it's a scary feeling. I just want to be with my wife again" I said.
"Oh Carina is there anything you need from us" asked Vic.
"I don't want to feel alone I know Jack is mad that I won't talk to you guys but I've been scared that you guys wouldn't want me here anymore since she's gone" I explained.
Ben's pov*
"What the fuck is wrong with you jack do you even know what she meant when she said she wanted to be with her wife do you know what she was insinuating" yelled Dean.
"That she wanted Maya to be alive and here" said Jack.
"No Jack she wanted to die so she could be with Maya again she doesn't want to live a life without her wife and you got into her fucking face like what the fuck" I said.
"You don't think we've noticed how much of a jerk you've been I know we all grieve differently some result in anger some result in alcohol and some result in drugs but you don't get to take your anger out on Carina not her that's the last person you should ever take your anger out on" said Dean.
"It's Andy's fault if she would have been paying attention to where the fuck she was going Maya wouldn't have felt the need to save her" said Jack.
"Are you fucking stupid man we all have been put into situations where the captain had to save us or even gotten injured trying to save us? You need to go see a therapist or some shit before Andy has you transferred or hell even demoted" I said.
"Please Andy is too caught up into Vic to even notice anything going on" said Jack.
"Man if I know I wouldn't get in trouble for hitting you I would do it now Andy is grieving too she lost her best friend but she also is feeling guilty for being the one that ended up making it out of the scene alive. You don't hear her screaming yelling begging Maya to come back. She's apologized to us for what happened because she was afraid that we would blame her and I don't blame her Vic doesn't blame her Ben doesn't blame her so go see a therapist I'll make sure that Andy makes you do so because the way you are acting is abusive towards Carina and you are acting like a child now grow the fuck up" said Dean.
"Well guys I'm going to go check on the girls they've been in the office for a while now" I said as I walked away and headed towards the office and knocked.
"Oh hey Ben what's up" asked Vic as she closed the office door.
"I just wanted to check on you guys is Carina okay" I asked.
"No not really right now her and Andy are sleeping I've been keeping an eye on them incase they wake up from a nightmare has Jack been dealt with" asked Vic.
"Yeah he blames Andy for what happened I think Dean was close to killing him" I answered.
"It's not her fault but if he continues being stupid she's going to transfer him to station 23" explained Vic.
"Yeah I know well I'm going to get started on cleaning some equipment I just wanted to stop by to check on you three" I said as I walked away.
"Thanks Ben" said Vic.
Amelia's pov*
"There's something wrong with Carina" said Meredith as she was looking at paperwork.
"Yes I'm sure we are all aware of that" I said while looking at some scans.
"No I mean like something is seriously wrong when's the last time she's actually fallen asleep without having to be so exhausted that she passes out. Do we even know when the last time she ate was" explained Meredith.
"I completely agree with Grey here Carina isn't okay because Ben just called me told me I shouldn't expect Carina to come back to work anytime soon" said Bailey as she took the scans from me to look at them herself.
"I mean none of us expected her to come back to work soon anyways" I said confused.
"Apparently Jack got into her face at the station today it was so bad that Miller had to push him away from her" explained Bailey.
"What did he say to her and what did she say for him to even do that" asked Meredith.
"She said she wanted to be with her wife and Jack screamed at her that she was never coming back and that she pretty much had to deal with it" explained Bailey.
"She wants to be with her wife" I whispered when I realized what Carina meant by that.
"Is she still at the station" asked Meredith.
"Yes Vic is watching over her and Andy from what Ben said apparently they both cried themselves to sleep" explained Bailey.
"What are we going to do about this jack situation because he's not making things any easier for Carina" I said.
"Andy said she would deal with it has his Captain and we honestly just need to be there for Carina like Maya was there for Carina when she lost her brother it's just not going to be easy because in reality no matter how bad we wish we could we can't force Carina to do anything" said Meredith.
"How is Andy doing though" I asked.
"Better than Carina only because it was mandatory for her to do therapy to begin with if she wanted to be captain but she's still having issues sleeping she screams in her sleep and he can here her begging for Maya from what Ben said to the point she won't go to sleep until she's super tired" said Bailey.
"Hey guys Carina is here and she's not okay not that I think so I mean I'm not sure" said one of the interns.
"Thank you we will go see her" said Bailey.
"Carina hey sweetie what are you doing here" I asked.
"I want to be with my wife people keep telling me that she's gone like I don't fucking know that. I go home expecting everything to be a nightmare Jack keeps yelling at me I just can't you guys help me" asked Carina.
"Help you with what" asked Bailey I'm pretty sure we are all worried about her.
"Nevermind It's not important" mumbled Carina as she walked away and too her office.
Carina's pov*
"You know Bambina I'm not sure how to do this without you anymore. I keep wishing this was all a nightmare that I'll wake up with you laying next to me. Your friend Jack keeps yelling at me about how you are gone like he doesn't realize that I know and I'm so angry with you that you didn't come back to me that you left me in a world where you aren't here I want to see you again because I don't think I can live a life without you in it. I want to be with you again I want to see the way your eyes light up when you see me after a long shift. I want to see that beautiful smile of yours again I just want you back" I cried.
"Shhh Carina it will be okay" I heard Amelia say I didn't think anyone would follow me to my office.
"Can't you guys just leave me alone I want to be alone right now I'm only here because I don't want to be at home right now and Andy and Vic got called out" I said as I turned away from them.
"You know you are allowed to be angry with her with dying" said Meredith.
"I don't want to be angry with her because I'm not mad with her. I'm mad that the team watched the building collapse on Andy and Maya they didn't even go try to save them I thought they were family because Maya always runs into danger for her team she doesn't care about how badly she'll get hurt she would risk her life for her team and she did she died saving Andy" I said.
"I know you don't but if you are it's okay also nobody expects you too suddenly be okay but have you ever thought about doing therapy" asked Amelia.
"I don't need therapy I'm fine I'm coping just fine" I said getting pretty upset about what she's saying.
"Have you talked to station 19 about how you felt" asked Meredith.
"No because Jack already hates me" I explained.
"You need to talk to them about how you feel Carina before you let it ruin your friendship with them it's going to continue to bother you until you say something to them" explained Meredith.
"Here how about I drop you off back at the station tell Andy that you want to talk to them" explained Amelia.
"I guess I'm pretty sure they'll be back by now but what if they hate me" I explained.
"They could never hate you jack though is a whole different story because he already sounds like a dick" explained Meredith.
"Okay let's go" I said as I took a deep breath.
Andy's pov*
"Good job today guys" I told the team once we got back to the station the fire wasn't that bad no people trapped it was an easy call thank god.
"Hello Station 19 Carina here needs to talk to you guys about something that's been bothering her and I'm going to wait in my car until it's over or I'm going to leave" explained Amelia as she walked in with Carina who looked really nervous.
"Okay what seems to be the problem Carina" I asked gently.
"This doesn't really have to do with you Andy it's for everyone else I guess but I need you to like keep me safe" answered Carina.
"Okay if any of you dare verbally attack Carina I'm looking at you jack or make her feel bad for what she's about to say then you'll be on desk duty until I say so" I said as I stood next too her just to make sure what ever she says will not result in the team verbally attacking her.
"Okay the floor is yours Carina" I said wondering what she wanted to talk to the team about.
"I know I haven't been telling you guys really anything since losing Maya but I've been wondering something for a while now and it's been bothering me" said Carina.
"Okay what is it that you've been wondering" asked Vic gently.
"How come none of you went to help them I'm trying to understand but it's not ugh Maya constantly put her life at risk to help you all out of trapped spaces or buildings that were collapsing I just want to understand" said Carina.
"We were following orders from captain Hansen she ordered us not to go into the building" explained Travis. I looked over at jack and noticed that he seemed to be getting very upset Carina had the right too ask even I asked myself the same thing because there were countless of times Maya ran into a building that was on fire or collapsing to save us. She's even went against protocol saving a child or saving us she said she'd do it again in a heart beat as long as it meant that we were going to be okay.
"You don't get to blame us for her death not when it's Andy's fault to begin with" said Jack.
"It's not Andy's fault we all know how unpredictable it is to be stuck inside a building that's collapsing. You don't get to blame someone who had no control of the situation we could have lost Andy as well and no offense Jack I think you are upset because Maya had chosen Andy to be Captain in case anything happened to her that's probably why you are picking fights with Andy and Carina what are you trying to gain from all this are you trying to make it so none of us want to be friends with you. Carina I want to apologize if it seemed like we didn't care about getting Maya and Andy to safety we did I even asked if we should go get them but I was told by multiple people that I was not too go back into building under any circumstances" explained Vic.
"Jack do you know what Andy has been through that day. You don't get to pick fights with someone who is dealing with the loss of they're best friend. You don't get to disrespect the captain because she was chosen to be captain by Maya. You have been nothing but disrespectful I hope you get transferred" said Ben.
"I want to apologize for being the reason we lost Maya" I said.
"I don't blame you Andy I know I may be mad a lot but never has it came to my mind that you are at fault we know Maya would risk her life for any of you . That's just who she is I'm just glad that you are still here with us" said Carina as she hugged me.
"This conversation is over you guys can leave but I need Vic to stay" I said trying to calm myself down.
"I'd love to stay but I can't I need to go" said Carina.
"That's fine thanks for stopping by I'll see you tomorrow" I told Carina since tomorrow we are going to go through Mayas things.
"Okay" said Carina as she left.
"What do you need from me" asked Vic as she hugged me.
"I don't know yet" I sighed.
"That's okay I'm here for you no matter what" said Vic.
"Why is he so mad at me what was I supposed to do in that moment by the time she tackled me the building collapsed it's not my fault right" I asked trying so hard not to cry because I'm tired of constantly crying.
"I'm not sure why he's so mad but it doesn't matter because you aren't at fault for what happened now come on let's go back to my apartment to take a nap it's been a long day for us" said Vic as she grabbed my hand and led me to her car.
"Thanks Vic" I said as we got into her car.
"No need to thank me" said Vic as we pulled out of the parking lot.