1 step forward, 3 steps back - Olivia Rodrigo
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Jace and I avoided each other like the plague in chemistry. No eye contact, sitting on opposite ends of the lab table. It was so awkward. I swear you could cut the tension with a knife.
When the bell rang, Jace booked it out of there leaving his buddy behind, chasing him down the hallway.
I went to tennis practice after, and luckily, the coach pushed off challenge matches to the first day of school since many players missed preseason.
Everyone on the team was extremely nice to me, and Madison, the girl in my calculus class, was number one in the power rankings... before I beat her out in a challenge match.
Surprisingly, there were no hard feelings. She even complimented me afterwards. We hit it off, and I found out Madison is super sweet even asking if I wanted to grab dinner with her after practice sometime.
I feel bad for beating Madison no matter how much she reassured me she's fine. Some of these girls like Madison have been on the team since freshman year, yet here I am, a newcomer, taking away their spot.
It doesn't feel right regardless of how much praise I got from the coach and my parents.
I spent a majority of my night setting up my room, organizing my closet, and lounging around.
After organizing my closet, I sit in the bay window I absolutely love, listening to music, while reading a book.
The bright lights from the window across from mine break me away from the fictional world.
Jace enters his room, hair wet from practice, with his giant hockey bag and sticks. Jace runs his hand through his hair, a sight I'm all too excited to see, and places all his belongings down. He sits down at his desk, pulling out his laptop as he starts typing on it.
I don't know how I'm going to avoid Jace Lockheart under these circumstances.
Do I even want to avoid him? No, but I don't know how to start a conversation with him. It's just awkward right now.
Jace looks up from his laptop, and our eyes meet again. I swear my heart stops every time we make eye contact which isn't much recently, but when we do, I get butterflies in my stomach. Maybe it's the anxiety.
He raises his hand, giving me a small wave. He looks a little creeped out which is understandable because he caught me staring at him not once but twice.
My cheeks flush, and I pull up the blanket to my face as I awkwardly wave back.
I think this beats our awkward chemistry class today.
Jace breaks our gaze and gets up, grabbing a notebook out of his backpack.
A little disappointed, I pick up my book to begin reading again, but what surprises me is Jace holding up his notebook with "how are you doing?" written in black sharpie.
I freeze in place.
He's speaking to me? Kind of? He doesn't hate me? I think?
But a smile quickly replaces my confusion as I hold up my pointer finger, telling him to hold on.
This might be a bad idea, but what's the harm I guess.
I grab my backpack, pulling out the first notebook I grab, ironically my chemistry one, and flip to the first clear page. I scribble down my response.
"What is this? You belong with me?"
I question my joke. Would he even think it's funny? Is this a bad response?
My body holds up the sign before I could flip to another page and write down another response. I brace for impact as I see Jace reading the sign, immediately laughing afterwards.
The sight warms my heart. I haven't seen him laugh in years, and it's one of the best feelings in the world making him laugh. I'm surprised I still have that touch on him.
He says something before going to write down his response.
"Alexa play 'You Belong With Me'" It reads.
I laugh, a full laugh, one that I haven't experienced since I moved away.
He starts singing along dramatically to the song, cracking me up even more. I pick up my notebook, glancing at him and laughing as I write.
"My nonexistent abs hurt from watching this"
This time Jace bursts out laughing. Starting to scribble something down again.
It's nice like this. It feels like the old times, like we picked up right where we left off.
"Glad you enjoyed the show, will be here all night."
I chuckle at the message.
He scribbles something down again. "Jk, I need to go eat dinner."
With that he waves at me before closing his blinds. I wave back before the blinds close completely, and I realized how much I've missed having Jace Lockheart in my life.
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School passed uneventfully. Parker kept it entertaining though as he cracked jokes anytime he could. It's a sweet jester, and I appreciated his efforts to keep my sanity.
I walk into chemistry after saying goodbye to Parker seeing I'm one of the first people here again.
A loud male voice I heard form yesterday booms through the class as he argues about some drill they did in hockey yesterday.
So he's apart of the hockey team. Must be new because I've never seen him at a game before I left, and I attended pretty much every game I could.
Jace's buddy looks over at me, smirking at Jace, before confidently striding over to my seat.
"Hi. You must be the lovely Juliana Walker." He says, grabbing my hand and shaking it furiously. "I'm Devin Archer, left wing for West Point High, and best friends with that loser over there." He mods towards Jace and winks at me.
A chuckle escapes my lips causing Devin to light up a little.
"Ok bro-" Jace interupts. He places a hand on Devin's chest causing him to let go of my hand. "you're making her uncomfortable."
Devin scoffs, slapping Jace's arm. "You're jealous that I have more game than you, which I do. Don't you think Juliana?"
I looks between the two of them, clearly uncomfortable.
"You'll have to excuse this lunatic. He's a little crazy." Jace looks at me giving me the coo-coo eyes.
"Hey! Rude!" Devin pouts, and I laugh at their banter.
"Ok class! Please get to your seats, so I can take attendance." Mrs. High starts.
"Well our lovely time has come to an end." Devin turns to me, taking my hand and giving it a kiss. "Nice meeting you Juliana."
My cheeks are on fire as I muster out the best 'you too' I can.
Before Devin walks away, he whispers something into Jace's ear, and that all too happy persona I'm used too vanishes as a stone cold Jace returns again.
Jace looks at me before shaking his head, fixating on the paper in front of him, and that's how we spent the rest of class. Staring at our papers, taking notes, and not uttering a single word to each other when just a few minutes ago, we were talking like old friends.
How did it change so drastically in so little time?
Class ends, and instead of taking off like yesterday, Jace walked along side me as Devin starts to ask me a bunch of questions, claiming to get to know me.
Devin breaks apart from our group when he realizes he forgot his English book, so he wishes us goodbye before making a dash. A literal dash for it. The guy's insane.
Jace and I walk in awkward silence out towards the student parking lot, when Jace grabs my hand and quickly pulls me into a creepy feeling hallway, into the nearest girls bathroom.
"Jace! What the hell are you doing? You can't be in here!" I yell/argue. If we get caught, this will be a shit show.
He brushes my comment off, words not affecting him. "Oh relax Julie. No one ever goes into this bathroom. Trust me."
His words slap me in the face. "Did you just call me Julie?"
He pinches the bridge of his nose his free hand. "Did you listen to anything I just said?"
"I mean, I tried but the Julie part smacked me in the face. No one ever calls me Julie." I state, glaring at him. I hate the name Julie. Teachers used to call me that all the time no matter how many times I corrected them. I mean is Juliana that hard to say?
"Well, get used to it sweetheart because that's what I'm calling you from now on."
Sweetheart. Why did that bring butterflies to my stomach?
I look down at the ground. That's when I noticed our hands are still laced together.
How did this feel so natural that I forgot are hands are laced together?
It didn't take long for Jace to realize, and he drops my hand quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry."
I stare at my left hand, the one that used to fit perfectly into his, too stunned to speak.
Jace clear his throat and the awkwardness in the air quickly turning into a cold one.
"Look Julie, I'm not one to beat around the bush. You know this."
I do, hence, the sweat I start to feel as I wait for his words to slice me.
Jace only gives you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not, and is very blunt while delivering it. It sucks hearing it as it can sometimes be too honest, but at the same time, I appreciate how honest he is. He's never afraid to hurt my feelings because he knew I need to hear it.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Look Julie, what happened last night and today in class, don't take it as a friendly jester." I look at him confused. He lets another sigh before the words slice my heart in half, tearing it right open. "I only did it to be mutual with you. We are partners for the rest of the year together, and I don't need a uncompilable, dead weight dropping my grade."
My breathing stops, and as I think he's done talking, he hits me with another blow. "Don't think that we're friends just because I'm nice to you because, to be quite frank, I want nothing to do with you Julie."
His words sting me the same way alcohol stings your wounds. Nothing. He wants nothing to do with me.
The words are a full stab through my heart, the finishing blow in a boxing match.
The tears build in my eyes, clouding my vision. My body feels sore like I just lifted after not lifting for a while, and I feel like I'm not even breathing anymore.
Everything hurts. It hurts like hell.
The tears threaten to spill out of my eyes, but I hold them in because I don't need Jace Lockheart seeing me cry over him. To see the power he still holds over me.
How is he mere inches apart from me, yet he couldn't be further away.
"I'd appreciate it if you kept this strictly professional, and we continue to work together in chemistry." He walks towards the entrance to the building. "Bye Juliana."
With that, he walks out of my life just as fast as he entered it.