Smoke, sweat, and alcohol combined creating a sickening odor.
At least the music was loud and the atmosphere dark, which saved him from having to do much socializing.
Josh was drunk, but not drunk enough. He downed another shot, hoping to banish the condemning images that tormented him. He'd betrayed everyone who loved him, and the pain was unbearable. It felt like a chunk of his soul was missing leaving him hollow and empty.
He stared at his phone, scrolling until he felt like he was going to vomit on the shiny black tile. Had the others seen them yet?
Just thinking about Annie and Rachel looking at that trash made him sick. How could God let this happen? His friends would suffer for his mistakes.
Ty would never be a pastor. Caleb's business would suffer, and Mary Jo's heart would break. Tanner would lose his football scholarship. He couldn't even imagine how Laurel would take this after all she'd been through.
Dani shoved a few pills into his hand and spoke in his ear, "You need it more than I do."
With considerable effort, he looked down, opened his shaking palm, and saw them. Sweat dripped from his brow. His heart was thundering in his ears with sweet anticipation. All he had to do was swallow them and his mistakes would be forgotten.
Take them all. You know you want to.
The voice scared him. He jerked around, searching, but he knew whoever spoke would not be found. He'd tried many times before. "God?"
Evil laughter was his answer. Chills shuddered through him.
"Did you just call me God?"
Sweat dripped into his eyes, blurring his vision. He blinked. "Dani?"
Dressed in a low-cut, red dress with heels she was stunning. He'd had a crush on her for years. Last summer he'd thought she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. Her eyes sparkled with laughter and kindness.
He studied her now, frowning. Her eyes were harder and hidden beneath smoky eye makeup. Any other man would think she was gorgeous. They didn't remember her easy smile and sun-kissed hair. Dani rarely smiled anymore unless it was for the camera, and her hair color was created at a pricey salon.
"What happened to you?"
Her beautiful face twisted in confusion. She couldn't hear him over the music. With a will he didn't know he possessed, Josh shoved the pills into his pocket, grabbed Dani's hand, and tugged her outside. She went willingly, of course. People were watching, and Dani never wanted to cause a scene.
The heavy door slammed behind them in the alley. "Hey! We're locked out!" Dani turned her venomous gaze on him. "Forgive me if I don't want to hold your hand while you vomit."
Outside he was finally able to breathe. "What happened Dani? It's like I don't even know you anymore."
Puckering her crimson lips, she sighed her irritation. "I'm not in the mood for this."
"You're not the same girl I fell in love with."
Anger flashed in her eyes. "Have you looked in the mirror lately, Josh? Because I'm not the only one who's changed." Her gaze slid down him with revulsion. "You're a self-absorbed drunk with a nasty drug addiction."
The accusation knocked him back a step. Josh sucked in a gulp of air, processing what she'd said. "You're right. I don't like myself much."
With a roll of her eyes, she started to walk away. "Tell it to your therapist. I'm not interested."
"Do you still love me?" He sounded pathetic, but he had to hear her say it.
"Do you still love me Josh?" she snapped bitterly. "Two can play this game."
He was taken aback by her fury. Lately, the only emotion he got from her was indifference. "No game."
"You want to blame me for everything bad that's happening in your life. Sure, I've made mistakes, so what." Her chin jutted defiantly. "This year hasn't been easy for me either, but you've been too drunk or high to notice!"
The truth of what she said hit him like a gut punch. He'd been a terrible boyfriend. "I'm sorry."
It was clear she hadn't expected an apology. Some of the fire left her, replaced with wariness. Her slender throat worked as she swallowed. A flash of hope lit in her eyes. She blinked it away. "It's too late."
A devastating sense of loss fell over him. "It's true then? You had an abortion?"
Dani gasped as if he'd struck her. "How did you know?"
"The pictures." His gut clenched. He'd hoped it wasn't true. "Was this another media stunt to promote the movie?"
"What are you talking about?" she cried, stunned.
"Check your phone. Our sins are plastered on social media for the world to see."
With an expression of horror, she scrolled her phone with eyes wide, and she began to sob. "How did this happen?"
Josh concentrated on breathing, forced himself not to think about the pills waiting in his pocket. He wondered if Dani was telling the truth. After all, he knew firsthand what a talented actress she was. "I'd like to know too."
"It wasn't me! Why would I leak these horrible pictures of me? They've made me look like whore!" Sinking down, she cried heart-wrenching tears.
A spark of sympathy flared in Josh. "I'm going home. You should come with me."
Her whole body shook but she never looked up.
"Dani." He spoke softly. "I can't leave you."
"You left me a long time ago, Josh. Just go!" She sank against the brick wall. "I don't need you! I don't need anyone!"
He hunkered down and folded his arms around her. She felt so small and seemed broken. Josh wanted to hate her, but this wasn't her fault. It was his. "I won't leave you here."
"The paparazzi are probably at our apartment."
"When I said home, I meant Harper Falls. Texas." With one arm still around her, he grabbed his phone and began to type. "I'm getting two plane tickets."
Dani didn't argue.