*
JieMi didn't make it to Ha-Eun's.
No, he couldn't make it to Ha-Eun's.
For an hour or so it had been physically impossible for him to do anything but think about his cock and his need to fuck something. Anything. In the privacy of his car with its tinted windows, he'd managed to hump all that he could get his hands on. The coffee cup, the steering wheel, the car seat, the handles, the fucking gear lever. He'd probably violated a couple of hygiene standards at that point, but he didn't give a fuck about them. He didn't even fucking care that he was dirtying his car with his semen.
All he could care about was his need to cum.
JieMi trembled as he pressed a sweaty, pallid face against the steering wheel; his eyes were squeezed shut as he begged to his God for strength. His body was shaking so hard that he had to hold himself, wrap his arms around his body to just stop humping shit, to just stop to breathe and think.
He'd once been obsessed with the idea of edging, excited at the thought of testing out his stamina, of pushing his own pleasure to the limits. But Ha-Eun had been against it, not particularly interested in his little kink for orgasm control. She preferred sex that was quick, pleasurable and rough, hated sensuality and gentleness. But JieMi was starting to regret ever considering orgasm denial because this was fucking hell.
God fucking help him.
JieMi slammed his head into the wheel again and groaned as another God-awful shudder gushed through his veins along with the spurt of fire that coiled along the length of his cock and radiated up his belly. It made his thighs tremble and shake, his toes clenching within his shoes as he writhed in his seat. But there was no Goddamn end to the pleasure and his cock continued to weep in his pants, spewing strands of pre-cum over the wads of tissue that he'd stuffed into his underwear to staunch the drip.
He choked, gasping as it grew stronger, the waves of heat tearing through his frame and JieMi was drowning in a tornado of fire. He tried not to think of Amber but every single time his cock twitched; his brain filled with thoughts of his soulmate, of his destined lover. It was thoughts of her eyes, of her long hair, of her soft lips, of her sweet, apple scent... Oh God, he would give anything to bury his nose in that scent, to nip at her skin with his lips, to mount her and take her from behind. To let his seed loose in her warm folds, to hold her close and fuck her again and again and again and—
He had to get through this. He had to.
JieMi bit his lips, tears burning at the back of his nose. He could get through this. He knew he could. It was all just in his head, all just his traitorous brain sending signals—His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as another spurt of pleasure ran up his spine. A frontal attack from his body that robbed his breath and made his hips thrust emptily into the air. He wavered at the sudden attack, biting his lips as his resolve shattered into dust.
He couldn't go to her. No, he couldn't. It wouldn't be right of him to go to her for help and this...THIS! Was so fucking embarrassing. What was he going to fucking do? What could he fucking say? I need to hump you, will you let me? I need you so much it hurts. I want to hold you. I want to kiss you. I want to make love with y— JieMi groaned slamming his head into the wheel, the car horn blared and he jerked back, blinking wildly.
And another shudder coursed through his swollen cock making it ooze with another long, sticky strand of pre-cum. He curled into himself, his body contracting and writhing through his pleasure that continued to escalate and rise—a never-ending dry orgasm that would never complete. Pressure that could never be relieved, the filling of roaring water in a dam that would never break.
His moan was an exhaled breath through clenched teeth that ended into a tapered, muffled scream into the crook of his arm. JieMi had to take slow, deep breaths after that just to get the oxygen back into his system, hoping to settle his racing heart and dizzy head. Breathe in and breathe out, count to ten. You can do this JieMi, you've got this. You can keep it down, you can keep calm. You are in control.
He seemed to have gotten the hang of it after a while, the spikes of pleasure pushed down by meditation and proper breathing techniques. He inhaled and exhaled, counting slowly in his head to calm down his pounding heart and pulsating cock. It took another hour of absolute willpower and plain determination for the pleasure to slowly ebb into something more bearable, or at least enough for him to think of more than just his dripping cock. He reached for his phone, trembling, messy fingers swiping over the screen.
There were ten calls from Ha-Eun and twenty messages.
He glanced through them quickly, his heart dropping at the angry 'are you even fucking coming?' and the 'are you ghosting me?'. She was furious and JieMi knew it. Of course, she would be without her breakfast and new things. Knowing his girlfriend, Ha-Eun would hold it against him for a few days. He hurriedly sent an apology, biting his lips as he waited for her to read it. It took another minute for her to come online, and two for her to leave him on read.
Fuck, she was definitely pissed off.
He groaned, rubbing the tips of his soft rabbit ears, running his fingers over the velvety smooth skin. He blinked, nose twitching as a new profile flashed over his screen, revealing the name of the sender. He almost dropped his phone at that name, his heart thundering in his chest as he scrambled to read the words.
[7:00 AM] Amber: Hey, are you okay? You didn't look so good...
[7:15 AM] Amber: Don't worry about me. Sieon came to pick me up!
[7:45 AM] Amber: Text me when you read this!
[8:15 AM] Amber: You can call me too!
[8:40 AM] Amber: Where are you? Your girlfriend is already here in class. Do you need help? Want to talk? I can leave.
[9:00 AM] Amber: JieMi, I'm reading my messages. Please text me soon.
Fuck. JieMi's eyes widened at her words, his heart thumping hard in his chest. He'd left her there in the cold. He was such a fucking idiot. His eyes burned with tears and his hips swivelled, swollen cock painfully hard. And he promised to call her a ride too. Did she wait for him long? He hoped she didn't, she couldn't wait for him. She mustn't. He licked his lips, closing his eyes, but he couldn't text her for help, he couldn't. He closed his eyes, leaning against the seat of the car a soft sigh escaping quivering lips.
He was such a useless mate, never putting her first. Her safety, her health, her happiness. Tears prickled in his eyes as his thoughts dulling into a steady hum of battling want and guilt. He didn't deserve her. And he couldn't be with her, not with everything at stake. Not with Ha-Eun...Ha-Eun. His cock wilted a little at the thought of his girlfriend and his head cleared. He glanced down at his phone, his eyes flickering to the group chat with his brothers.
[10:08 AM] Sieon: You're worrying her JieMi, can you at least send us a text? Please????
[10:09 AM] Casper: Where are you? I can pick you up?
[10:09 AM] Hikaru: JieMi, are you okay?
JieMi didn't know what possessed him to respond after days of keeping everything inside. He'd been so good at it too, keeping quiet and aloof, never fully revealing his true emotions to the people who loved him, to the people he loved. But desperation and need clouded his mind, and he found himself typing in the message before he could think. He hit send before he could stop himself, his body shaking as he typed.
[10:10 AM] JieMi: help
His heart skipped a nervous beat at the message he'd sent and he panicked, cursing under his breath. Goddamn it, JieMi. You promised not to bother them, to never let your fucking mistakes get in their way. They didn't deserve to bear his responsibilities, to face the mistakes that he had made. They may be a team, but JieMi didn't want the team to crash because of his stupidity, he didn't want the team to end because of him. He clumsily deleted the message but fucked up and only deleted it for himself. He cursed again, slamming his head against the wheel and jumped again when his phone vibrated.
[10:11 AM] Sieon: WHAT? Explain NOW
[10:11 AM] Oliver: What's wrong??? Where are you???
[10:11 AM] Hikaru: What do you need????? Police????
[10:11 AM] MinJae: I'm with our manager!!! WHERE ARE YOU?
[10:11 AM] Ezra: Driving. Can pick you up anytime.
He bit his lips, heart twisting at their messages and for a moment he was wracked by the need to spill everything. To just let go of the burden that weighed upon his shoulders, to just give in to their words, to just let go.
To give in to Oliver's begs for him to speak, to Hikaru's concerned pats on his head, to MinJae's warm hugs. To Sieon's initiative to drag his quiet ass into the conversation, to Casper's soft, understanding looks that he shot his way. To Ezra's silent aid when he least expected it. To Amber's sweet, sweet understanding.
[10:12 AM] JieMi: Soul bond. Don't tell her.
[10:12 AM] JieMi: Please.
He sucked in a breath.
[10:12 AM] JieMi: Just check if she's okay. I can deal with it.
[10:12 AM] JieMi: I'm fine.
He couldn't bear to see the rest of the messages, closing the app to chuck it at the backseat. His lips pursed together and he bit into them, nibbling on the flesh as he rubbed his shaking hands together. No, no that was a bad move. Telling them would lead to unnecessary questions, telling them would mean telling her. Telling them would mean showing them a sign that he was not okay. And he was fine. He was fine. And JieMi could solve it on his own. He could. And he would prove it by going to school, by attending his lessons. By pretending everything was okay.
Because everything was okay.