𝐆𝐎𝐃'𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 — 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐗𝐎𝐍
❝ to kill an innocent ❞
When Madeline was fifteen, she was involved with the wrong crowd.
Her parents had just gotten a divorce, her mother was in and out of institutions for addiction, and her brothers barely spoke to her.
Her friends, or at least she people she thought of as friends, took her under their wing, helping her fight back against the shit that went on at home. She rebelled against her father, yelled at her brothers, and dated boys years older than her that she thought loved her. She thought a lot of things at fifteen that all turned out to be lies .
She didn't snap out of it until her boyfriend of three months got them into a wreck coming home from a party. She had broken her leg, trapped under the crunched-in dashboard. She didn't even notice the pain in her leg at the time, too busy crying while her boyfriend screamed at her, saying it was her fault and that she was going to get them busted.
Once she was out of the hospital, she realized how much of a raging bitch she had been all those months. That was when they moved to Georgia, partly for a fresh start and partly because that was where her father's new girlfriend was. She reinvented herself there, becoming a familiar version of herself from the rubble of the stranger she had once been. When she would travel to Ohio to visit her mother and see her ex-friends at the stores in town, she couldn't even see what had drawn her to them.
They were angry, resentful to the world. So much teenage angst in such little bodies. They did things for the sake of surprise, said things that made people's skin crawl. They scowled at her from across the snack aisle, partly from hate and partly from jealousy.
Randall reminded her of them.
He was a kid, sure, but there seemed to be a darkness surrounding him like a thick blanket. He was silent while she had tended to his leg, and yet his body spoke volumes. She always heard him muttering when she was outside the barn, talking to himself. He would cry when anyone would walk in, and yet no tears tell. He was putting on a show, the same kind of show her old friends had when they got busted.
She had been glad to see him leave.
Rick and Shane returned around the same time as Madeline and Daryl had. She had been on the porch, going through their finds when the two men pulled up, bloody and silent. Rick pulled Randall out of the trunk, hauling him back off towards the barn. Madeline gasped when she saw him, shocked that the men hadn't followed through. Daryl sat on the railing next to her, cursing.
Shane looked to her, his eyes shifting from his sister to the hunter, a strange look in them. He nodded at Madeline, setting off towards his friend.
"That doesn't look good." Madeline sighed, wondering what happened.
"Must've ran into some trouble, found out something they didn't know before." Daryl answered, tossing a can of green beans into the air before catching it.
"Great, just what we need." Madeline sighed, hissing as she shifted on the step. Daryl looked at her then, raising a brow. "Bruised a rib or something when I fell, I'm fine."
"You gonna tell anyone about that?" Daryl asked, jerking his head towards Emily and Issac who were hanging clothes together.
"Why would I, it'll only worry them. Plus, I'm fine." Madeline sighed, standing up. "I'm gonna take some of these supplies to Hershel, help him restock his kits. You alright taking the rest to the RV? You can grab some for your packs too if you want." Daryl only nodded, watching as the door swung shut behind her.
Once he had finished carrying all of the goods to the RV and helping Carol put them away, he heard his name being called. He turned, stiffening slightly when he saw Shane jogging over to him.
"Yeah?" He responded, on edge and confused. He hiked his bow up further onto his shoulder, staring at the former officer.
"Can you throw a punch?" Shane asked, to which Daryl simply nodded. "Great, follow me."
─────
"You sure know how to make a first impression, Dixon."
Daryl just snorted, opening the door to the barn for her. She walked in, carrying the first aid box with her. Randall sat in the corner, his hands and feet tied together. His blindfold was removed, and his eyes snapped up to meet hers as soon as she walked in.
She could faintly hear Daryl's name being called back at the main camp, his head snapping to the side to look who it is. "I'm good, Dixon, I'll be fine alone while you go check what they want." Daryl left after hesitating, only going once she pushed him out of the threshold. She left the door open, however, the thought of being enclosed with a stranger not very appealing.
She kneeled down, trying to disregard his consistent stare, grabbing the hydrogen peroxide from her box. She began cleaning his wounds, the silence deafening. He hissed as she cleaned a few deeper cuts, but he recovered quickly. She rebandaged his leg, Daryl having ripping off the gauze to pressure him into answering the group's questions. She turned her head, grabbing out some ointment to apply to them so they don't get infected when she heard him chuckle. She looked back at him, narrowing her eyes.
"What's funny?" She asked, holding his stare.
"Nothing, it's just I recognize you." Madeline furrowed her brows, confused. "Or should I say, I recognize your hands. You're the person that mended my leg." She barely nodded, a shiver going down her spine. "I tried to picture what you could look like in my head, I was right for the most part. Pretty, helpless looking. I pictured you short though, you must just have small hands."
"Sorry to disappoint." She bit out, pushing herself up to her feet. She took a step back, her back hitting one of the wooden columns that held the loft up.
"The men in your group, they're hardasses. That redneck nearly stabbed my leg. Broke my nose."
"I'll put a complaint in, management will handle him."
"You with that redneck? Or are the officers more your speed?" He asked, looking around the barn. He looked back at her when she didn't answer, raising his brow. "What? Just making conversation."
"Yeah, don't."
"Oh come on, I'm not like the men who left me behind. They're bad guys, they hurt people." Randall confessed.
"You're not so innocent yourself, I'm guessing."
"The things I did are nothing compared to what they did."
"What? You only ransacked while they killed and hurt the people. You were complacent, making you just as bad." Randall started crying, crocodile tears rolling down his bruised cheeks. "Your first impression of me was helpless, and that tells me and my group everything we need to know about you."
"I wanted to leave. We came across a group, a man and his two daughters. Younger than me. Real pretty." Madeline scowled at him, trying to tune him out. "They made the father watch as they hurt those girls. But-but I never touched them!" Daryl came in then, yelling about him not talking to her. He grabbed Madeline roughly, but his hold was gentle. He led her out of the barn, spitting on the wooden floor at the boy's feet before slamming the door shut.
"You okay?" Daryl asked, Madeline just nodding. She looked down, grabbing his bleeding hand, inspecting it. She made him sit down on a barrel, the two talking softly as she patched him up. He filled her in on Rick's decision, about what Randall had confessed about his group. Although Madeline hated the thought of Rick having to kill a man, she knew the alternatives. He would either hurt them himself or bring his group back to hurt them. "I shouldn't have left you in there, he's dangerous."
"He's tied up. He didn't do anything but spew bullshit about being innocent. No innocent man calls victims his group hurt pretty." Daryl nodded in agreement, the two of them walking back towards the group once T came to keep watch. "Plus, I didn't like his stare. He was sizing me up, and he was working on his ties the whole time."
"Dale's forcing Rick to have a vote tonight, saying that the group can't run smoothly if there is one person making all the decisions." Daryl said, drawing a nod from the women.
"Although I agree with Dale on that, I know what I'm voting. We can't put the group in jeopardy, not again." They walked through the main camp, Madeline instantly noticing that Daryl had moved his tent back. She couldn't help but smile, happy to see he was back. "I don't want a boy's blood on my hands as much as the next gal, but we don't have much of a choice."
"Yeah, we don't. Dale's just gonna have to deal with it."
"I have to deal with what?" Madeline looked at Daryl with wide eyes, like a kid caught with their hands in the cookie jar. She turned around, smiling sweetly at her friend.
"Rick's decision about Randall." Daryl said frankly, cutting her off from searching for a lie. Dale sighed, shaking his head.
"He gave me the day to talk to everyone, try and talk some sense into people. Thought I'd start with people with the most sway." He chuckled, putting his rifle down against a tree. Madeline rolled her eyes, laughing at him saying she had sway. "You two really think this is the way? We abandon all civility, all humanity? To kill an innocent kid—."
"He's not innocent." Madeline cut in, putting a hand on her hip. "You should have seen how he looked at me, how he talked about his group's actions. He enjoyed watching me be uncomfortable, he's just as bad as the people who left him for dead." Dale shook his head, not agreeing with her.
"So you're okay with killing a boy because of who he associates with?"
"Listen, Dale, I know people like Randall, I chased after people like Randall. They don't work well in groups, they take what they want and they make sure you cry about it." Daryl shifted uncomfortably beside her, watching the two intently. "And he's not a boy; he's a grown man who knows what he's doing."
"I'm not gonna be able to convince you, huh?"
"I would do anything to protect the group, our friends and family. I'm not gonna be ashamed of that."
"And what about you, Daryl, you okay with killing Randall?" Daryl clicked his tongue, waving the man off.
"Doesn't matter what I think; Rick's gonna do what Rick's gonna do."
"More like Shane." Dale said, looking Madeline in the eye. She held his eye for a moment, confused. "This wasn't Rick's idea, I'm sure of it."
"And you think my brother would kill a man in cold blood?" She knew she wouldn't like the answer as soon as she asked.
"I think he would do anything to regain control of the group. He threatened me before the barn, he all but admitted to killing Otis to me." Madeline looked at him with wide eyes, shocked by the new information.
"Shane may be slipping, but he's no murderer." She would have seen the signs, right? She wouldn't have been deceived so easily.
"I don't want to turn you against family, Madeline, I just wanted to talk." Dale walked away in defeat a moment later, headed off to talk to other members of the group. Daryl scoffed once he was out of earshot, looking at Madeline. She was stunned into silence, obviously trying to work through what Dale had just told her. He could almost see the gears turning in her head, picking through the past. He shifted slightly, accidentally bumping her shoulder, snapping her out of her thoughts.
"How couldn't I have seen it?" She asked suddenly, turning to look at him with wide eyes. Her eyes shifted, looking past him to land on her brother. He was speaking heatedly with Andrea at the barn, unaware he was being watched. Her eyes snapped back to meet Daryl's, her eyes wide and confused. "Did you see it? Am I just blind?"
"He's blood, it's hard to accept things when it comes to family." Daryl tried to calm her, putting his hand tentatively on her shoulder.
"But you saw it? You agree with Dale?" She pressed, her voice desperate. He searched for the right words, trying to keep his true thoughts at bay. Truthfully, he thought Shane was crazy. Truthfully, he couldn't believe Shane was related to such a gentle, compassionate women.
"Truthfully, I think he's lost." He decided on. "He's been lost since Rick showed up at the Quarry. People get desperate when they're lost and afraid." She nodded slowly, her eyes finding her brother's body again.
He saw the shift in her eyes then, the realization. He just wished it hadn't been because of him.
─────
Madeline told Daryl to cast her vote for her, claiming a stomach ache as her reason for absence.
Carl was left with her, the boy sitting on Emily's sleeping bag in silence. Lori had said she wouldn't be long, wanting to be with her son tonight while his father was occupied. Madeline stared at the roof of the tent, deep in thought. Outside she could hear the crackling of the fire and the hooting of an owl.
"I hurt Carol's feelings today." Carl's voice drew her from her thoughts. She tilted her head to the side, looking at her godson with a raised brow.
"Your dad said something about that. What happened?"
"I said that if you believe in heaven you're an idiot." She whistled, turning back to look at the ceiling. "She said that Sophia's in a better place and that's stupid!"
"Carl Sawyer!" She said, sitting up so she was facing him. "You may think that but that does not mean you have the right to say it to her." Carl opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal but she shushed him, holding out her finger. "She lost her daughter, bud, she's grieving and she is coping by thinking her daughter is living on in another plane, there is nothing wrong with that."
"My dad said I need to apologize."
"You do. Religion and religious views are very personal, and the opinions of others have no place in them." She said. He dropped his head in shame, scratching at the bug bites on his legs. "Her thoughts aren't hurting anyone, so it was disrespectful for yours to hurt her." Carl wiped a few tears away, nodding.
"I just miss her."
"We all do, bud."
She knew death was always hard to come to terms with, and that for children it was even more so. Carl was struggling, having lost one of his only friends in this new world in such a dark way.
"I'm gonna go apologize, get it over with." She nodded, giving him a kiss on the forehead before unzipping her tent flap. She left it open once he left, laying back down. The breeze felt nice on her bare skin, and she let out a tired sigh.
She let her thoughts once again get the best of her, leaving her trying desperately to decode and understand her own brother. She had known that he wasn't himself, somehow tricking himself into seeing everyone around him as a threat. Even his own best friend! She couldn't help but wonder if he saw her as a threat. The way he hid things from her, blocking himself off from his family, and fixating on a women they all knew he couldn't have.
It scares her to think that his anger, his twisted mindset, would present itself in already such dangerous ways. The assault at the CDC, the barn, the fight with Rick at the community center. It was only a matter of time before it, if it hadn't already, builds into murder.
"Madeline!" Issac's voice broke her from her thoughts, jolting her into a sitting position. He screamed her name again, sending her scrambling for her weapons before she teared out of her tent and towards his voice. The whole group was scrambling, chasing after screams coming from the field. She recognized them almost instantly as Dale's. Then Daryl's mixed in with them until finally she caught up to them, staring wide eyed at the scene before her. Dale, his chest ripped open and a Walker laying dead beside him.
Madeline fell to her knees at the older man's side, staring at the mess in horror. She cried silent tears, trying desperately to assess the situation and see if there was anything she could do
"Can you save him? Madeline, please!" Andrea screamed, sobbing as she tried to catch her breath. Madeline hiccuped, her own cries getting the best of her. She shook her head, avoiding their eyes. She felt a tapping on her thigh, and when she looked down she saw Dale's fingers thudding against her, catching her attention. His screams had stopped, now only grunts of pain and sadness.
"Madeline, you have to!" Rick said, grabbing her shoulder roughly.
"I can't do anything. Moving him will cause his chest to rip and spill out more. Stitching him up here would shock his nervous system, killing him almost instantly." Madeline said, looking him in the eyes. He was crying, and the thudding against her thigh continued on. Rick screamed, his own anger and sadness getting the best of him.
Dale was gurgling now, his cries growing louder.
"He's suffering, this isn't right." Andrea cried, threading her fingers through his hair. Rick nodded, standing above Madeline with his gun drawn. Madeline's sobs grew louder, but when Shane tried to drag her away from beside her friend, she shook him off, her knees digging into the ground.
Madeline cupped Dale's cheeks, placing a gentle and shaky kiss on his forehead. He closed his eyes, words trying to claw their way out of his throat and yet the pain kept them drowned. "I love you, Dale, I am so sorry." She whispered, tears from her eyes falling onto his cheeks.
She looked at Rick then, seeing him struggling to pull the trigger. She cried for him to hurry, to end this. Rick's hand shook, his entire body trying to find the strength to pull the trigger. Just as he went to drop the gun, Daryl's hand came out, wrapping itself around Rick's. He grabbed the gun from their leader, kneeling beside Madeline.
"Go be with your brothers, he wouldn't want you to watch." Daryl whispered, and her shoulders sagged. Shane was finally able to pull her up from the ground, the sound of her cries being buried in the fabric of his sweatshirt. He shushed her, rocking her slightly in his hold. He tightened his hold of her as the gun cocked, burying her further in his chest so that everything sounded muffled.
"Sorry, brother."