Sera:
The Doctor and I stuck our heads out of the TARDIS, looking around. "No, Amy, it's definitely not the fifth moon of Cindie Colesta. I think I can see a Ryman's." Then something exploded, throwing us to the ground as the TARDIS, Amy included, started to dematerialise. "Amy! Amy!"
There was nothing we could do, just watching her go, then I turned to the Doctor, who was looking lost. He'd been in there for the past 850 years, that was the only home he'd ever known since the Academy. "Doctor, what do we do? My Angel, what do we do?"
DW
"Are you kidding me? You're screwdriver is gunked up with tea, mine is on the TARDIS, and we need money. You are so, so lucky, that I always have this!" I muttered, getting out my phone and sliding out my debit card. I hadn't touched my account since I'd moved back in with him, and I had about £25000 in there.
The Doctor just grinned, pulling a paper bag out of his pocket and taking the card. "Your pin still the same, yeah? Lovely." He took out some amount, not sure how much, and stuffed it into the bag, then turned and took my hand. "Ready to head to our new abode for the next few days?"
Sighing, I let him pull me away from the ATM, before some copper turned up to see why Alice Pond had used her card, nearly 3 years after disappearing. We headed off down the street, finding the right one from the note Amy some how left us, and then knocked on the door. There was a long wait, and then the person looking for a flat mates. "I love you."
The Doctor beamed at him while I just smirked. "Well, that's good, because we're your new lodgers. Do you know, this is going to be easier than I expected."
He took the fluffy pink keys from him, and the Bluetooth's in our ears flashed a little. "But I only put the advert up today. I didn't put my address."
"Well, aren't you lucky we came along? More lucky than you know. Less of a young professional, more of an ancient amateur, but frankly I'm an absolute dream. And my partner here, she's an amazing woman to live with. Trust me, we've been living with her parents for what, 3 years now?"
"Hang on a minute, mate. I don't know if I want you two staying. And give me back those keys. You can't have those."
"Yes, quite right. Have some rent." He gave the man the paper bag, and I saw that about a quarter of my savings were in there. "That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell." We were lead into the hallway, and I spotted that the lights upstairs were flickering. "Don't spend it all on sweets, unless you like sweets. I like sweets. Ooo." The Doctor then gave the man a couple of air kisses, making me shake my head. !That's how we greet each other nowadays, isn't it? I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor, too. Still don't know why."
He gave me a strange look as I gave him an apologetic smile. "Craig Owens. The Doctor?"
"Yep. And I'm Seraphina, but you can either call me Sera, or Phina. Who lives upstairs?"
"Just some bloke."
Interesting. "What's he look like?"
"Normal. He's very quiet." There was a crash as the Doctor went into the kitcheny type area of the house. "Usually. Sorry, who are you again? Hello? Excuse me?"
The Doctor was inspecting the ceiling, and a icky looking dark stain. "Ah. I suppose that's dry rot?" He asked, looking back at us as I took off my cardigan. Wraps may look nicer, but they limit your use of hands.
"Or damp. Or mildew."
"Or none of the above." I added.
"I'll get someone to fix it." Craig told us, trying to tidy up a little bit.
"No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister." I pulled him down and made him stand still for a moment.
"This is the most beautiful parlour I have ever seen. You're obviously a man of impeccable taste. We can stay, Craig, can't we?"
He blinked, not really used to how weird we both were. "You haven't even seen the room."
"The room?"
"Your room." He repeated, and I sighed. Living with the Doctor really does make you forget how to live a normal life for a while.
"Our room? Oh, yes. Our room. Our room. Take us to our room." The Doctor smiled, kissing my hand as we were lead into the hall and then shown a very 80's style room.
"Yeah, this is Mark's old room. He owns the place. Moved out about a month ago. This uncle he'd never even heard of died and left a load of money in the will."
Hmm... Would have to remember that. "How very convenient. This'll do just right. In fact." There was another crash from above and the Doc tested the air with a damp finger. "No time to lose. We'll it. Ah you'll want to see my credentials. There."
While he passed the psychic paper behind his back and was shown to Craig three times, I just too my purse back out, getting my fake IDs out. "National Insurance number. NHS number. References."
Craig tried to stare at our reference, and I sighed. "Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?"
"My Sera's his special favourite. Are you hungry? I'm hungry, Sera is never hungry, but I like to feed her." He started pulling me back towards the kitchen, Craig following us.
"I haven't got anything in."
"You've got everything I need for an omelette fines herbes, pour deux. So, who's the girl on the fridge?"
I had a look, seeing a photograph of Craig and a pretty girl, along with the Vincent van Gogh Self-portrait in Straw Hat postcard. "My friend. Sophie."
"Girlfriend?" I asked, getting a quick read on her. I couldn't do too much, I didn't want whatever was trapping the TARDIS to sense me, but I could still tell if people were nice or not. This Sophie was. "A friend who is a girl. There's nothing going on."
"Oh, that's completely normal. Works for me. I have a similar friend, well, carer, called Marcus." I smiled, watching the Doctor get to work with the omelettes and sitting on the table.
Craig smiled a little. "We met at work about a year ago, at the call centre."
"Oh really, a communications exchange? That could be handy." I nodded, personally hating those types of places, but if it was good.
"Firm's going down though. The bosses are using a totally rubbish business model. I know what they should do. I got a plan all worked out. But I'm just a phone drone, I can't go running in saying I know best. Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you."
Giving him a weak smile I turned down my charm. I forgot I was good with people, even if I didn't overly like them as a general populous. "Well, I've got one of those faces. People never stop blurting out their plans while I'm around."
"Right. Where's your stuff?" He asked after a moment, seeing that all I had was my cardigan, a phone, and note book.
The Doctor brushed the question off himself, flipping the omelettes. "Oh, don't worry, it'll materialise. If all goes to plan."
The Doctor:
I could cook again! I hadn't had another go since Donna tried to teach me, but I could do it again! And Sera and Craig loved them. "Oh, that was incredible. That was absolutely brilliant. Where did you learn to cook?"
Glancing over at me, Sera grinned cheekily. "Paris, in the eighteenth century. No, hang on, that's not recent, is it? Seventeenth? No, no, no. Twentieth. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order. Or seeing them in the right order, that's not all it's cracked up to be by the way."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird? Especially you, mate, at least your girlfriends got some common sense."
I grinned, kissing her temple. "They never really stop. Ever been to Paris, Craig?"
"Nah. I can't see the point of Paris. I'm not much of a traveller." He replied, and Sera giggled.
"I can tell from your sofa."
He blinked, not understanding. "My sofa?"
"You're starting to look like it."
"Thanks, love, that's lovely. No, I like it here. I'd miss it, I'd miss-"
I stopped him, wondering about the keys. "Those keys."
"What?"
"You're sort of fondling them." I pointed out, making him look a little shocked. I don't think he realised he was doing it.
"I'm holding them." He tried to say.
"Right." Sera laughed, cuddling into me on the sofa. There hadn't been any more nightmares, not since I took her out, telling her that she was the most important thing in the universe to me. And that was true, I didn't know what to do without her. She thought the TARDIS was my home, which was alf right, but that was only because she was there with me. My home, and my hearts are always with her.
"Anyway. These, these are your keys." Craig handed me a set on keys, one big and clunky, the other smaller and thinner, like the TARDIS key.
"We can stay?"
He nodded, a bemused smile on his face. "Yeah, you're weird and you can cook and your girlfriend is adorable.. It's good enough for me. Right. Outdoor, front door, your door. Sorry, Phina, you'll have to share for the time being"
We just beamed at him. "Our door. My place. My gaff. Ha ha! Yes. Us with a key."
"And listen, Mark and I, we had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, okay? Like, a red balloon, that sort of thing."
"Why would we want that?" I asked, and Sera elbowed me.
"In case you and Phi want, um, alone time? I can't get more delicate than that, mate."
I blushed, feeling Sera do the same. "Oh, I will. I'll shout if that happens. Yes. Something like, I was not expecting this!" I got another elbow in my ribs. "By the way, that. The rot. I've got the strangest feeling we shouldn't touch it." I gave a conspiratorial nod to Craig, then pulled Sera to her feet and headed into our new room. It was smaller than our usual one, and we threw ourselves down on the bed, calling our to Amelia through our Bluetooth's now.
"Earth to Mini-Pond, Earth to Mini-Pond. Come in, Mini-Pond."
"Sera, Doctor!" We both winced as there was a surge of massive feedback. "Sorry."
"Could you not wreck our new earpieces, Mini-Pond?" I sighed as Sera shook her head, rubbing her nose. She was tired again, her nails a pale pink and eyes half closed. "How's the TARDIS coping?"
"See for yourself."
We heard the TARDIS groaning in pain, grumbling about not being able to land. "Ooo, nasty. She's locked in a materialisation loop, trying to land again but she can't." Ser explained for the sake of her little sister.
"Hmm. And whatever's stopping her is upstairs in that flat. So, go upstairs and sort it."
"I don't know what it is yet. Anything that can stop the TARDIS from landing is big, and limit my Seeing to practically nothing. Scary big."
Amy paused for a moment. "Wait. Are you scared?"
We both sighed exasperatedly at her. "We can't go up there until we know what it is and how to deal with it. And it is vital that this man upstairs doesn't realise who and what we are, especially Seraphina. So no sonicking. No advanced technology, and Sera isn't allowed to use any form of Time magick."
She made a hurt, whining noise, but this was her plan. "We can only use this because we're on scramble. To anyone else hearing this conversation, we're talking absolute gibberish. Now all I've got to do is pass as ordinary human beings. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?"
"Have you seen the pair of you?"
Hurtful. "So you're just going to be snide. No helpful hints?"
She was quiet for a moment. "Hmm. Well, here's two. Put some shoes on and Bow tie, get rid."
Sera looked down at her small, pale feet, still somehow soft after the amount of running she had done. "I don;t like shoes, they feel wrong. And bow ties are cool. Come on, Amy, I'm a normal girl, tell me what normal girls do with their blokes."
"They watch telly together, they play football while the girl makes snide comments, they go down the pub." She listed, and all those things, besides watching telly together, sounded boring.
"We could do those things. We don't, but we could." There was yet another bang upstairs. "Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. Amy?" I looked at my watch, seeing that the hands were going crazy, and Ser held up the alarm clock, one and the same. "Interesting. Localised time loop."
"Ow. What's all that?" Amy asked after a moment, sounding a little disheveled.
"Time distortion." Sera told her, lying back down. "Whatever's happening upstairs is still affecting you."
"It's stopped." She paused. "Ish. How about your end?"
I looked at Ser, who was practically already asleep. "Our end's good. Your sisters curling up like a cat in bed." Sera gave me a two fingered salute. "And she just swore at me."
"So. Doesn't sound great, but nothing to worry about?" Amy asked, laughing at what I'd said.
"No, no, no, not really. Just keep the zigzag plotter on full. That'll protect you."
There was a moment of silence, then the TARDIS made a protesting noise and there was a Scottish yelp. "Ow."
"Amy, I said the zigzag plotter."
She sounded wounded for a moment. "I pulled the zigzag plotter."
"What, you're standing with the door behind you?" Sera asked, her voice quiet and sleepy, eyes barely open now.
"Yes."
"Okay, take two steps to your right and pull it again." It was the same switch, but it did different things when you stood in different places. "Now, I must not use the sonic, though it took me half an hour to fix. The Doctor spilt tea on it. We've got work to do. Need to pick up a few items."
Sera:
Both Craig and I were waiting for the bathroom. For a man who just flipped his hair into a quiff every morning, he was taking forever, and singing along, out of tune, to some random song in his head. "Ta ra ra boom de ay quanda rilo, something is happening."
"Doctor." We both shouted, annoyed at how long this was taking.
"Hello?"
"How long are you going to be in there, my Angel?"
"Oh, sorry. I like a good soak." Yeah, but never this much, and only when I was in there with you.
The banging sounded from upstairs again, and Craig looked up. "What the hell was that?" Shit, I was trying to keep a low profile.
"What did you say? Sera?"
"I'm just going to go upstairs. See if he's okay. You coming, Phi?" In for a penny, I guess...
"Yes? Hello?" A grey haired man opened the door on the chain, and I stared at him, trying to suss him out without my abilities. Harder than it seemed, as I only had half of his face on show.
"It's us from downstairs. We heard a big bang." Craig told him, but he still didn't come out of the flat. Definitely something going on upstairs.
"Thank you, Craig, but I don't need your help." The door closed again, and then the Doctor burst out of the bathroom,a towel around his waist, pointing a toothbrush at the upstairs door, making it go whirr.
"What happened, what's going on?" He asked, positioning himself in front of me, as though he was protecting me.
Craig paused, looking at what he had in his hand. Where was the sonic? "Is that my toothbrush?"
He looked, as though he didn't know himself. "Correct. You spoke to the man upstairs? Sera?"
"Yeah."
"What did he look like?" He asked, somehow not embarrassed. Unfortunately, I felt it for the both of us.
I giggled, giving Craig his toothbrush back. "More normal than you do at the moment, my Angel. What are you doing?"
"I thought you might be in trouble."
"Thanks. Well, if we ever are, you can come and save us with my toothbrush."
Craig's phone rings inside his flat, so he went to answer it. The Doctor started to head up the stairs, but then another woman appeared in the door, Sophie, from the photo on the fridge. "Oh! Hello." She smiled warily, seeing us, and the Doc who was still in a towel.
"Ah! Hello. The Doctor. This is my fiancé the, um, Sera." I gave a small wave, and the Doctor came back down.
Sophie nodded, kind of understanding. "Right."
"You must be Sophie." The Doctor gave her the same air kisses treatment, making me roll me eyes. He knew that handshakes were the right type of thing for acquaintances.
"Oh. Oh."
We went back into our room, where the Doctor started faffing about with his clothes, and Craig was on the phone to his mate. And then knock on the door made us jump, and I headed to the door, opening it just a crack, my new blue summer dress barely over my head. "We've got a match today, pub league. We're one down if you fancy it, Doctor?"
"Pub league. A drinking competition?" He asked, really not understanding.
I shook at him, despairing at how socially awkward he was. I hated not having access to the TARDIS wardrobe. "No, football, Angel. Play football."
"Football. Football. Yes, blokes play football. I'm good at football, I think." Oh, this wasn't going to end well. If the whole ice skating thing was anything to go by, then it wouldn't end well.
Craig grinned, slapping the door frame in relief. "You've saved my life. I've got somebody. Yeah, all right, I'll see you down there. Hey, Soph."
The other woman smiled, and they so, so liked each other. I was going to have to work on that, like I did for... For some people. Why couldn't I remember? "Hey, I thought I'd come early and meet your new flat mate."
"Do you play, Sophie?"
Craig shook his head for her, making look at him in surprise. "No, Soph just stands on the sidelines. She's my mascot."
"I'm your mascot? Mascot?"
"Well, yeah, not my mascot. It's a football match. I can't take a date." Aw, that's so cute. Kinda reminds me of when Donna was trying to set up the Doctor and I.
"I didn't say I was your date."
He got even more flustered. "Neither did I."
The Doctor cleared his throat, getting the attention back to us. "Better get dressed."
"The spare kit's just in the bottom drawer." The Doctor ducked back in as I stepped out, looking at Sophie in wonder.
"You unlocked the door. How did you do that? Those are your keys. You must have left them last time you came here." I told her, smiling sweetly. I was getting those together if I got stuck here or not.
She blinked, looking at me weird. Come on, I hadn't done anything weird yet. "Yeah, but I. How do you know these are my keys?"
Craig cleared his throat a little. "I've been holding them."
She held up a second set of keys, less pink and fluffy this time. "I have got another set."
"You've got two sets of keys to someone else's house?"
"Yeah?"
"I see. You must like it here too." I smiled, then ducked back into the room, where the Doctor was putting his shirt on back to front. So I made him stand still, then fixed it.
"So, we're going out. If we hang about the house all the time, him upstairs might get suspicious and notice us." I said aloud, getting Amy's attention in the TARDIS"
"Football. Okay, well done. That is normal. Just don't get bored, Sis, I still remember why you got banned from watching the Leadworth team."
"Yeah, football. All outdoorsy. Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?" I stared at him, then shook my head. This was going to be a long day.
DW
"What are you actually called? What's your proper name? Because Seraphina and the Doctor? That'll look a little strange on the wedding invites."
"Just call me the Doctor."
"Yeah." Sophie nodded a little. He was getting a little into the idea of football, which wasn't going to end well for the TARDIS.
Craig pointed to the people on the field. "I can't go up to these guys and say hey, this is my new flat mate, he's called the Doctor, and this is his fiancee Phi."
We both blinked. "Why not?"
"Because it's weird."
We got to the pitch and then the rest of the team smiled at Craig. "All right, Craig. Soph. All right, new couple."
"Hello, we're Craig's new flat mates. I'm called the Doctor, this is my fiancee Sera." And then he ruined it by giving them air kisses.
"All right, Doctor, nice to meet you, Sera. I'm Sean. So, where are you strongest?"
"Arms." I was giving up on him passing as human..
"No, he means what position on the field, my Angel."
He paused for a moment. "Not sure. The front? The side? Below." He nudged me this time, and I glared at him. Really?
"Are you any good though?"
"Let's find out." He smiled, and then the game got started, and the Doctor was surprisingly nimble at this, dodging the other players while dribbling the ball. But he also was ball hogging, and that made Craig pretty annoyed.
"Go on, Doctor! Go on, Doctor!" I called, trying to be supportive, but also thinking that I would have to try and teach him how to play as a team. He scored, and Sophie and I cheered. "Doctor! Doctor! You're brilliant. You're amazing. Love you, my Angel!"
We got a penalty and it was up to Craig to take it, and I motioned for the Doc to stay put. "Come on, Craig. Show them what you've got." Sophie shouted, but then he got impatient and stole the kick, soring again. The crowd loved it, but I shook my head. This was something that I would never let him live down.
"Oh yes, I love this game." The Doctor laughed, hearing the crowd start to chant him name, making Craig get more and more annoyed. The match finished and I kissed him softly when he got off the pitch. "I like this game, I see why most men are into it now." He grinned, then the team captain came over.
"You are so on the team. Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor. We're going to annihilate them. Sera, you're like our good luck charm too!"
"Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm, and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?" All in one breath, of course. Never open your mouth until you're sure of what you're going to say, my Angel...
"Yeah." Sean nodded, looking at him strangely. I paused, looking at him, then sniffed. Man, he was a little sweaty....
I nodded on his behalf, seeing as he was obviously not trusted to be at all normal. "Lovely. What sort of time?" Craig opens a can of drink, getting sprayed with the foam. But then it started happening again, and again, with only the Doctor and I unaffected. We ran, and I spoke to my sister through the comms. "Amy? Amy?"
Her voice came through weak a moment later. "It's happening again. Worse."
"What does the scanner say?" The Doctor asked, thinking quickly on his feet.
"A lot of nines. Is it good that they're nines? Tell me it's good that they're all nines."
Crap, no they weren't, but they weren't 12's, 12's were the ones to be wary of. "Yes, yes, it's, it's good. Zigzag plotter. Zigzag plotter, Amy." She paused, and then I heard a bang, and a scream. "Amy? Are you there? Amy?"
There was a patch of static, and then her voice came back through. "Yes. Hello."
"Oh, thank heavens. I thought for a moment the TARDIS had been flung off into the vortex with you inside it, lost forever." I hit the Doctor's shoulder. That was my sister in there, and I did not want her panicking more than she needed to.
"What, you mean that could actually happen?" Amy asked, her voice higher and tight as she came back through. "You have got to get me out of here."
"How are the numbers?"
"All fives."
I looked over and saw that the time loop had ended. "Fives? Even better. Still, it means the effect's almost unbelievably powerful and dangerous, but don't worry. Hang on, okay?"
"Hey."
"We've got some rewiring to do."
"Hang on."
The Doctor:
I was so confused. I thought being good at football was a good thing, but Craig didn't seem to think so. Putting together the scanner, was difficult, as we only had one screwdriver, and we weren't even allowed to use it. Which sucked, just a little bit. The door knocked and I ran to the door, forgetting I had a traffic cone in my hand.
"Hello, flat mate." I smiled, holding it behind my back.
"Hey, man. Er, listen. Er, Sophie's coming round tonight and I was wondering if you two could give us some space?"
"Oh, don't mind us. You won't even know we're here." I paused, as did Sera behind me, as there was more banging from upstairs.
Sera yelped as something started moving. "That's the idea." I shut the door to look at her, and ducked as I was nearly hit in the face with a rake. "Sorry, Angel. Perfect! What a beauty."
"But is it giving us what we want? The right readings?" I asked, looking at her phone screen. That was the only actually technology we could use, because there were mobile phone readings all over this planet. "No, there's no signal. Hang on, I'm going to go on a hunt for a better one, maybe use the electricity grid to power us up a little more."
I dashed out of the room too fast for Sera to stop me, ducking down and going into the living room, with a normal screwdriver. I found all the main cable, trying to get the right connection for the phone. I got engrossed in my work, then sat up, forgetting that Craig and Sophie wanted some alone time.
"Hello." I waved a little, knowing that I was going to be killed by Sera, possibly Craig if he goth there first.
"What?" He stared at me, a little blustered.
"Whoops. Sorry. Don't worry, I wasn't listening. In a world of my own down there." Which luckily was true, as I am really bad at lying. Amy, Rory, Sera and I had a mock poker game, with biscuits as chips, and I had to sit out after the first round because I couldn't stop laughing.
"I thought you were going out with Phina?" He asked tight lipped, and then Sera herself came running in. "Oh, great, you're here too."
"Just re-connecting all the electrics. It's a real mess. Where's the on switch for this?" I held up the normal screwdriver, wondering what you were actually supposed to do with it.
Sera grabbed me and hauled me to my feet. "I am so, so sorry. We really are just on our way out."
"No, I don't mind. I mean, if you don't mind." Sophie said, seeing that she was really just in a house dress and I was wrapped up in cables.
"I don't mind. Why would I mind?"
"Then stay. Have a drink with us." She indicated to the spare armchair that we liked to squeeze together in.
Sera blinked, a little confused. "What? Do I have to stay now?"
"Do you want to stay?" Craig asked, but something told me he didn't want us to stay.
"I don't mind."
"Okay."
"Great."
We curled up together on the chair, working on the electrics together, while Sophie chatted away to us. "Because life can seem pointless, you know, Doctor, Phina. Work, weekend, work, weekend. And there's six billion people on the planet doing pretty much the same."
"Six billion people." Sera muttered, shaking her head slightly. "Watching you two at work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from. It's hard work, Cupidry."
Sophie didn't hear the last part, so didn't understand what she said. "Huh? What do you mean by that?"
"So then, the call centre. That's no good, then. What do you really want to do?" I asked her, quickly changing the subject.
"Don't laugh. I only ever told Craig about it. I want to work looking after animals. Maybe abroad? I saw this orangutan sanctuary on telly."
I gave Sera a quick wink, then shrugged . "What's stopping you?"
"She can't. You need loads of qualifications." Craig answered for her. He did that a lot, like I did for my Sera. Ecxept they weren't even together yet.
"Yeah, true. Plus it's scary. Everyone I know lives round here. Like, Craig got offered a job in London. Better money. He didn't take it."
"What's wrong with staying here? I can't see the point of London." Well, there is the point of there tend to be alien incursions ever few years in London. So maybe it's best to stay away.
Sera looked back up, wiring between her teeth. "Well, perhaps that's you, then. Perhaps you'll just have to stay here, secure and a little bit miserable, till the day you drop. Better than trying and failing, eh? I moved to London to be able to support my sister back at home."
"You think I'd fail?"
She kept working, knowing the best way to make people think. "Everybody's got dreams, Sophie. Very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend?" We both tried our glasses of whine, which used to be a favourite of hers, but we both spat it back out. It was like bitter cranberry juice. "Perhaps, in the whole wide universe, a call centre about is where you should be."
"Why are you saying that? That's horrible." Sophie cried, staring at us.
"Is it true?"
"Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call centre all my life. I can do anything I want." We both grinned at her. "Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, my God. Did you see what they just did?"
Craig blinked, looking at us. "No, sorry, what's happening? Are you going to live with monkeys now?"
"It's a big old world, Sophie. Work out what's really keeping you here, eh?" And there was the line, the one to make her think. They definitely loved each other as much as Sera and I did.
"I don't know. I don't know."
DW
Our mega-gizmo was finished. It included a bicycle wheel, an umbrella, a rotary clothes line, a lamp shade and the bicycle's pedals, with a rake, a broom and an oar as outriggers and the traffic cone on top. "Right. Shield's up. Let's scan." Sera smiled, setting the wheel spinning.
Amy's voice came through a moment later, wanting to know what was going on. "What are you getting?"
"Upstairs." Sera muttered. "No traces of high technology. Totally normal?"
I checked the readings myself, but it was true. "No, no, no, no, no, it can't be. It's too normal."
"Only for you two could too normal be a problem. You said I could be lost forever. Just go upstairs." Amy tried to insist.
"Without knowing and get ourselves killed? Then you really are lost. If we could just get a look in there. Hold on. Use the data bank. Get us the plans of this building. We want to know its history, the layout, everything."
"Meanwhile, I shall recruit a spy." Sera grinned, her feline eyes glinting as her nails turned to a sparkling green.
Sera:
I may have been pretending to sleep. The Doctor, the Doctor needed to be happy, to see me as happy, but every time I closed my eyes to sleep, I saw what I kept seeing. Death, and pain, and I didn't want him to worry, or Amy to worry. I hated keeping secrets from him, but sometimes, sometimes what he doesn't know can't hurt him
Being awake for hours all night gives you time to think though, and I was working on a way to suppress my visions, to try and keep them there, but only when I want them. And also, it gave me time to make food. Which I was surprisingly good at. "Craig? Craig? Breakfast. It's normal. Craig? Craig. Craig, Craig, Craig. I told you not to touch it. Look, what's that?"
I rushed over to him, seeing a green line up the inside of his forearm. "It's an unfamiliar and obviously poisonous substance. Oh, I know what'd be really clever, I'll stick my hand in it. Come on, Craig, breathe." I whacked Craig on the chest, making him gasp.
"Come on, Craig, breathe. Thems are healthy footballer's lungs." I ran back into the kitchen, stuffing as many tea bags into the teapot as possible and then ran into the room again. "Right. Reverse the enzyme decay. Excite the tannin molecules." I poured it right into his mouth through the spout.
He groaned, choking on the tea. "I've got to go to work."
I shook my head, giving him a moment to breathe. "On no account. You need rest. One more." I poured the super strong tea into his mouth again.
"It's the planning meeting. It's important." He tried again, but I just put him down again.
"You're important. You're going to be fine, Craig." I pushed his mind to sleep, then got up, heading over to where the Doctor was asleep, writing him a quick note. I kissed him softly, then grabbed my bag and headed out. I had work to go to.
DW
A few hours later, the Doctor and Craig turned up, both a little shell shocked at the fact I was here. And I hated people. "I think that's not what my screen is telling me, Mister Lang." This guy on the phone, he was very rude.
"What's she doing here? What are you doing here? Doctor, did you know she was going to be here?"
He was still being mean to me, so I just sighed. "If that's your attitude, Mister Lang, please take your custom elsewhere." And then I hung up on him.
Craig stared at me in horror. "No, no, no, that's one of my best clients."
"Hello, Craig. How are you feeling? Had some time to kill. I was curious. Never worked in an office. Never worked in anywhere. Oh, and hello, my Angel. Got my note, did you?"
"You're insane." He looked at the Doctor. "Doctor, your bird, is crazy."
"Leave off Phina. I love Phina. She was brilliant in the planning meeting." The big boss man, Michael, told him, while the Doctor beamed, coming and sitting next to me at the desk.
"You went to the planning meeting?"
"Yes. I was your representative. We don't need Mister Lang any more. Rude Mister Lang."
"Here you go, and I found some jaffa cakes." Sophie smiled, putting a plate next to me. They were all I could think of right now, that and tequila.
"Sophie, my hero."
She turned to Craig next, and I was hoping that maybe the news she had would make him speed up a little bit. "Hi, Craig. I went on the web, applied for a wildlife charity thing. They said I could always start as a volunteer straight away. Should I do it?"
"Yeah, great. Yeah, good. Go for it." Oh, he was such a pratt, he needed to pull his finger out and tell her how he felt.
"You look awful. About turn. Bed. Now. Doctor, take him home." I paused, looking at the phone. I was a little bit good at this. "Who next? Oh, yes. Hello, Mister Joergensen. Can you hold? I have to eat a biscuit."
DW
My little spy, or my new friend Tiddles the cat, though she called herself Lillie. She was adorable, and I wanted to adopt her, but the Doctor was refusing. Apparently he wasn't keen on cats. "Have you been upstairs? Yes?" There was a small meow. "You can do it. Show me what's up there? What's behind that door? Try to show me. Oh, but that doesn't make sense. Ever see anyone go up there? Lots of people? Good, good. What kind of people?" There was another meow. "People who never came back down. Oh, that's bad. That's very bad." And then Craig came out of the living room. "Oh, hello."
"I can't take this any more. I want you to go." He reached into the kitcheny area, grabbing the bag of money and giving it to the Doctor as he came out of our room. "You can have this back and all."
We blinked, unsure. "What have we done?"
He pointed to Lillie. "For a start, talking to a cat."
"Lots of people talk to cats." I pointed out, motioning for her to leave.
"And everybody loves you, and you're better at football than me, and you're better at my job, and now Sophie's all oh, monkeys, monkeys, and then there's that." He opened the door to our room, pointing to our scanner.
Which to be fair was kind of hard to explain. "It's art. A statement on modern society, Ooo, ain't modern society awful." The Doctor tried, and if it wasn't such a serious thing going on, I would have laughed.
"Me and you two, it's not going to work out. You've only been here three days. These have been the three weirdest days of my life."
"Your days will get a lot weirder if we go."
"It was good weirdness. It's not, it's bad weird. I can't do this any more." Craig shook his head as the Doctor wrapped his arm around my waist.
"Craig, we can't leave this place. We're like you, we can't see the point of anywhere else. Madrid? Ha, what a dump. We have to stay." He insisted, pulling me further nto the room.
"No, you don't. You have to leave."
"We can't go."
He pointed to the door. "Just get out!"
I sighed, giving up. "Right. Only way. I'm going to show you something, but shush. Really, shush. Oh, I am going to regret this, Doctor, get some aspirin ready. Okay, right. First, general background." I headbutted him, showing him both my faces, as well as all of the Doctor's.
"Oh." Craig muttered, rubbing his head as I felt my eyes start to burn gold. Sophie.... No, Sophie...
"Ow." I yelped, rubbing my own eyes.
"You're both a"
"Yes."
"From"
"Shush."
"You've got a TARDIS."
"Yes. Shush. Second." I pointed to my face, then at the Doctor's. "Eleventh. Right. Okay, specific detail." I headbutted him again, showing him how we got here, and where we saw my sister note above his.
"You saw my ad in the paper shop window."
The Doctor nodded for me, holding my upright as my head was reeling. "Yes, with this right above it. Which is odd, because Amy hasn't written it yet." He showed him the note saying '79a Aickman Road Amy xx. "Time travel. It can happen."
Craig pointed to the machine in the middle of the room. "That's a scanner. You used non-technological technology of Nammasteen!"
I glared at him, holding his head and making him stare right at me. "Shut up! Argh. I am never, never doing that ever, ever again." I touched my Bluetooth, turning it back on. "Amelia."
"That's Amy Pond, your adopted human sister!"
I sighed. "Oh, of course, you can understand us now. Hurrah. Got those plans yet?"
"Still searching for them."
"I've worked it out, with psychic help from a cat."
"A cat?" Amy questioned. "Sis, I know you've always preferred cats to people, but that's going a bit too far."
"Yes, and I know how to talk to a cat. We know he's got a time engine in the flat upstairs. He's using innocent people to try and launch it. Whenever he does, they get burnt up, hence the stain on your ceiling."
Craig blinked. "From the ceiling."
The Doctor slapped him on the shoulder. "Well done, Craig. And you, Miss Pond, nearly get thrown off into the Vortex."
"Lovely." My sister muttered, and then there was another crash upstairs.
"People are dying up there? People are dying. People are dying. People are dying." Craig started rambling, while all I did was stare at the door. Craig had to work it out for himself though.
"Amy."
"They're being killed."
"Someone's up there." I muttered, feeling my eyes burn, and the pain that someone else was feeling. My nails turned to a dark purple and the Doctor held me tighter.
"Sera?"
"Hang on. Craig, come on. Someone's dying up there."
He finally saw Sophie's pink key ring in the door. "Sophie. It's Sophie that's dying up there! It's Sophie!" He raced up the stairs, followed by me and the Doctor. "Where's Sophie?"
"Wait, wait."
"Amy?"
"Are you two upstairs?"
The Doctor nodded, not that she could actually see him. "Just going in."
"But you can't be upstairs."
"Of course we can be upstairs." I gave a shaky laugh, pausing at the threshold.
"No, I've got the plans. You cannot be upstairs, it's a one-storey building." She paused to let that sink in. There is no upstairs."
"What? What?" I heard Craig cry in shock, looking around the time ship that was doubling as a second-storey. That, was a pretty cool perception filter.
"Oh. Oh, of course. The time engine isn't in the flat, the time engine is the flat. Someone's attempt to build a TARDIS" I laughed, but the Doctor didn't think it was as funny.
"No, there's always been an upstairs." The door started flickering on and off.
"Has there? Think about it."
"Yes. No. I don't-" He got a little flustered.
"Perception filter. It's more than a disguise. It tricks your memory."
Then there was a scream, and we turned to see Sophie being pulled towards the console in the middle of the room. "Sophie! Sophie! Oh, my God, Sophie!"
"Craig."
"It's controlling her. It's willing her to touch the activator." I told him, grabbing the sonic, but it didn't work. "Ah, deadlock seal."
"You've got to do something." Craig insisted as Sophie fell back, suddenly free from the electricity.
"What? Why's it let her go? So, okay."
And then a man appeared in front of us. "You will help me."
"Right. Stop. Crashed ship, let's see. Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue, this is my First Officer Sera Sexy. Please state the nature of your emergency." Oh, he was going to pay for that one later.
"The ship has crashed. The crew are dead. Pilots are required."
"You're the emergency crash program. A hologram. What, you've been luring people up here so you can try them out?"
The hologram flickered between a little girl, an old man, then a young one. "You will help me. You will help me. You will help me."
Sophie was still staring in horror at what was going on. "Craig, what is this? Where am I?"
"Hush. Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. But you're stupid, though. You just keep trying."
"Seventeen people have been tried. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty six remain." Ok... That's some good calculations, fast than I could have done it, without an abacus, anyway.
Sophie tried again. "Seriously, what is going on?"
I sighed, shaking my head. "Oh, for goodness sake. The top floor of Craig's building is in reality an alien space ship intent on slaughtering the population of this planet. Any questions? No, good."
"Yes, I have questions." Tough, we rarely answer them.
"The correct pilots have now been found."
We both groaned. "Yes, we were a bit worried that you were going to say that."
The Doctor:
"He means you two, Sera, Doctor, doesn't he?" Amy asked the second we were being dragged towards the console, the auto pilot repeating that we were the correct pilots.
"What's happening?"
"It's pulling us in. We're the new pilots." Sera told her, trying to fight whatever was going on.
"Could you do it?" It was a fair question. Could you fly the ship safely?"
"No, we're way too much for this ship. My hand, let alone your sisters, touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does."
"The correct pilots have been found."
"No. Worst choice ever, I promise you. Stop this." Ser shouted, her eyes blazing as she tried to fight whatever was going on.
"Doctor? Sera? It's getting worse."
I started thinking as fast as possible. "It doesn't want everyone. Craig, it didn't want you."
"I spoke to him and he said I couldn't help him." Ah, yes, brilliant.
"It didn't want Sophie before but now it does. What's changed?" Sera closed her eyes and started thinking harder, and I could practically hear her brain working. "Argh. No. No, we gave her the idea of leaving. It's a machine that needs to leave. It wants people who want to escape. And you don't want to leave, Craig. You're Mister Sofa Man."
"Doctor!"
"Craig, you can shut down the engine. Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay."
Sophie put her hand on his, stopping him from moving. "Craig, no."
"Will it work?"
We nodded. "Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Is that a lie?"
"Of course it's a lie." Sera screamed, her hand stuck under mine as they nearly reached the panel.
"It's good enough for me. Geronimo! Argh!" He put his hand on the nearest panel, releasing the both of us.
"Craig!" Sophie cried, rushing over to him as he cried out in pain.
"Sera! Doctor!" I heard Amy loudly through the Bluetooth, practically deafening me.
I started panicking, seeing smoke rising up from his hand as he kept screaming. "Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything that makes you want to stay here. Why don't you want to leave?"
"Sophie. I don't want to leave Sophie. I can't leave Sophie. I love Sophie." He gabbled, forgetting she was right next to him.
"I love you, too, Craig, you idiot." She put her hand over the top of his. Yay, they finally admitted it.
"Honestly, do you mean that?"
"Of course I mean it. Do you mean it?"
"I've always meant it. Seriously though, do you mean it?"
"Yes."
Amy groaned in my ear. "What about the monkeys."
I sighed, while Sera just shook her head exasperatedly. "Oh, not now, not again. Craig, the planet's about to burn. For God's sake, kiss the girl."
"Kiss the girl!" Amy and Sera said together, and they did, letting his hand be released from the panel. "Sera, Doctor? You've done it. Ha ha! You've done it. Oh, now the screen's just zeros. Now it's minus ones, minus twos, minus threes. Big yes."
The autopilot started malfunctioning and Sera froze. "Big no."
The love birds came up for air eventually. "Did we switch it off?"
"Emergency shutdown." I nodded. "It's imploding. Everybody out, out, out!" We ran down to the street, seeing the ship start to implode. And then a man walked by with his little boy.
"Look at them. Didn't they see that? The whole top floor just vanished."
"Perception filter.'' Sera shrugged, cuddling into me. "There never was a top floor."
DW
Okay... Didn't want to watch the beginning of whatever Sophie and Craig were getting into, so Sera and I just left the keys on the sideboard and turned to leave. "Oi."
We froze and then Sophie's voice came through. "What, you're trying to sneak off?"
"Yes, well, you were sort of busy." Sera gave them a small smile, her eyes flashing gold.
He handed us the keys back. "I want you to keep these."
"Thank you. Because we might pop back soon, have another little stay." She smiled at him, but Craig just shook his head.
"No, you won't. I've been in your head, remember, that psychopathic, insane and brilliant head. I still want you to keep them."
"Thank you, Craig."
"Thank you, Doctor, Seraphina."
"Sophie." I smiled. "Now then. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty six people in the world. That's the number to beat."
"Yeah." She nodded. We left, not after Sera stared at the fridge, seeing a photo of me and her from when I played football. But it wasn't a happy look, it was more fearful.
We got back to the TARDIS, hugging Amy to within an inch of her life, and then starting the TARDIS off. "Back in time. You need to go to the paper shop and leave that note for us."
"Right little matchmaker, aren't you? Can't you find me a fellow?" Oh, your sister did that for you a long time ago.
Sera grumbled, kicking the console in frustration. "Oh, rectifier's playing up again Hold on. You write the note and I'll change that will."
"You got a pen?"
She pointed to my jacket. "Make sure it's a red pen. And, I am also going to the lab for a bit, there's some things I need to do. Please, please, give me some alone time, I need to just mess with some chemicals. maybe blow something up." She kissed me softly, and then wandered off. And there was something my Sera wasn't telling me again.