Akechi was surprise.
Not a sort of, "your friends have gotten to your house before you with cake and streamers and presents to shower you in friendly affection and birthday wishes" surprise.
Granted, it wasn't "you've dropped your wallet in the middle of the road by accident on a walk one day and a superhero suddenly appeared behind you to return it when in reality, you have no idea who he is or why he flew until he found you and returned it without saying anything more" surprise, either.
After pondering it for not as long as his head made it out to be, he still couldn't explain to himself what kind of surprise it was. All he knew is that it was unlike any other he'd experienced and most certainly the one that sent the most shockwaves through him. The closest thing to Akechi's surprises were Nendou's, but Nendou's were most definitely frightening, or at the very least startling and he knew he didn't like them.
What he couldn't decide was if Akechi was a good surprise or not.
They were disorienting and irritating in a way, but he never found himself resisting them, he thinks. They definitely messed with his head, at least a little bit, if he allowed himself to be dramatic.
Then he entered the living room, to see exactly what he'd been ruminating on.
'What the hell are you doing?'
"Language, Kusuo-kun," Akechi said, pulling his hair out from under his neck.
He was draped on the couch-- well, "draped" wasn't exactly the right word for it. "Draped" would've implied a graceful folding of hands and crossing of legs, maybe while swirling liquor in one hand, with a cigar in the other, monogrammed waves of elegant silk spilling over a satin chair, with the quiet crackle of the fireplace perfectly complementing the soft violin and piano accompaniment of Camille Saint Saëns's Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.
No, he was not being graceful in the slightest.
A better phrase was perhaps, "shifting and scooching his torso and legs in jerky movements while simultaneously fixing his hair and supporting his head with his hands, his legs hooked over the top of the couch and his head hanging upside down, partially supported by his hands still, in a way that might make him lightheaded if he'd sat like that for long," because that was, in fact, exactly what he was doing.
And now he was sitting there-- hanging there, looking back at Saiki with the most casual and relaxed look on his face he'd seen in a while, a heavy contrast from his usual piercing stare, finally settling into the right position and folding his hands over his stomach, twirling his fingers around and playfully kicking his feet.
"Did you get the movie, or did you simply want to come back and check to see if I'd burned the house down by now?"
And now he was hanging there, obviously suppressing a smile, because gosh darn it, he knew exactly what he was doing.
'Touma.'
...
"Kusuo-kun." He smiled. "I quite enjoy saying your name. Perhaps you feel the same way?"
'Why in the world are you hanging around upside down...?'
"Technically, I'm only partially upside down. My back is resting flat on the couch. And my feet are alternating between an exact 90° angle and a 180° angle, so technically, the angles are constantly changing, meaning that-"
'Stop it.'
Akechi chuckled.
"I'm not sure. I've enjoyed sitting in this manner since I was very young. It's fun and new, and after sitting in the same position for a long time, I tend to get bored. So, every now and again, I turn myself around and sit this way until I either become too light headed to bear, or until I feel bored of it. It's quite amusing to see the ceiling as the floor and imagine stepping over the fan and reaching out to touch things on the reversed ceiling, or maybe even to imagine someone sitting upside down on an armchair, or other things of that sort."
'You're going to throw up.'
"No, actually! This doesn't usually induce nausea unless I move around too much, but aside from slight movements in my hands and feet, I tend to stay very still in this position. Even talking feels a bit awkward when the gravity is reversed, but I'm pushing through it for your sake."
And yours, silly.
"Did you actually retrieve the DVD? I was waiting for you to come back, which is probably why I got bored in the first place. Without you around, I didn't have a source of entertainment, so I had to revert back to my childlike ways. But now that you're back, I can sit down correctly so we can- oh."
Saiki levitated himself in a position that let him turn himself mid-air in a manner similar to a colorful block in a Tetris game. It was an odd sight, and he didn't give him enough time to process it before he gracefully placed himself on the couch, upside down, with only a few centimeters between them.
"Why-"
'Let's see how watching the movie like this goes.'
And the stupid warm n' fuzzies spread through them, maybe between them even, to emphasize the simple loveliness of it, along with the absolutely nonsensical scene Akechi's mother may have come home to and neither of them were sure which one of them felt more ridiculous.
The main difference was that Akechi simply didn't care.
In fact, he decided to make it worse by entwining their fingers, scooting closer to let their arms press together.
And Saiki only made it worse for himself by immediately reacting to the touch by turning away and squeezing his hand. The gloves being thin was a small mercy; they allowed for the gentle warmth to seep through enough, and he felt his heart speed up and his breathing slowed and it was beginning to make him want to move away and closer and-
"Would you like me to put the movie in, or um, are you going to...?"
Oh please, God no...
He made sure to put the movie in and start it before he could get up.
Akechi took it as a quiet message and thought his happy sappy thoughts that he was half grateful and half upset that Saiki couldn't read, still caressing his fingers; still making him feel like his heart was about to detonate and kill the both of them.
"Ooh, which one is this? Have you watched this one?"
'No, not yet.'
"I trust your taste in movies. Is this another rare pick of yours that you've always had to tolerate? I remember you telling me before about a few of the ones you had watched, and how one of them was emotional enough to induce tears. I suppose if you can find something like that in the budget bin, you're bound to find something worth watching often enough to make it worth it..."
He continued talking about whatever he was currently intent on rambling about as the previews played and then he dimmed the lights, which still managed to impress him every time, even though it took minimal effort to tamper with the electrical cables.
And then the previews ended, and he turned his head to look at him, just as he had finally straightened out and calmed down.
"Oh, the movie's starting. I'll be quiet now so we can enjoy it. Once we get lightheaded, we can sit up and eat the popcorn, okay?"
He'd forgotten all about the popcorn. And he was given another opportunity to make him forget about it, because Akechi took advantage of the fact that most of what came from his mind was either a hurricane or a numb hum of white noise, either of which was incomprehensible and raised his hand to his mouth, first stroking it with his thumb, then kissing the base of his wrist, where he knew he could actually feel without interruptions or interference.
He returned his hand back to its original spot and leaned closer, still appearing completely, entirely, and relentlessly unfazed.
Now Saiki, in striking contrast...
He was not.
Not breathing, not thinking, not moving, perhaps.
He's killing me.
Was this what helplessness felt like? He wouldn't know, but he figured it was pretty close.
His eyes were back to the TV screen where the scene opened up on a man and a woman conversing about God knows what, because why the hell was he so eerily calm?
He couldn't understand how he could want to be next to a person so badly, to feel them, to perceive them, when they were right there with him, lying down without a care in the world, blissfully unaware of the trembling something he felt for reasons unbeknownst to him.
And while the scene unfolded and Akechi's chest slowly rose and fell with his soft breaths and the popcorn presumably got cold...
Saiki decided he was, in fact, good surprise.