Vic was intrigued. Why the invitation? Mika had recently taken a step backward in their relationship. Was she now taking a step forward? Or did she really want to talk business? Hayst, Victonara. Huwag masyadong madumi ang utak.
She turned the car engine off and opened the door for her secretary. "Never let it be said that I have no time for business, mmm..."
"Never!"
They alighted the elevator on the 17th floor. Unit 1709. "Your key?" She held out her hand and she dropped her door key into the boss's hand. Vic opened the door for them.
Vic shed her dark mood as easily as she had shed her overcoat once they were inside Mika's living room. The former complimented the latter on her comfortable home. It was simple yet very cozy... very Mika.
Mika started talking, suddenly light-hearted, and it seemed she could not stop. Before making coffee she showed the boss around and they ended up in the kitchen. She explained how she came to rent the unit... how lucky she had been.
Vic took the coffee tray from her and put it on the low table in front of the settee and then switched off the overhead light and turned on two table lamps which left the room softly lit. It was only then that Mika had a momentary qualm about the wisdom of inviting her boss into her home so late at night.
She need not worry. Vic sat facing her, away from her, filling an armchair, her legs stretched out on top of a nearby stool. The boss looked utterly relaxed, at home. Mika could now see the tiredness in the boss's face which she had not noticed earlier. She worked too hard... far too hard. She starts at seven and finishes at eight or nine. At least, she thought she did. For all she knows, she might work till midnight. It would not have surprise her, if her boss did.
Mika put her boss's coffee on a side table near Vic's chair. Silence reigned for several minutes while they drank. Surprisingly, there was no awkwardness... no tension. How or why it was suddenly like that, Mika was clueless. She was just grateful for it.
"How long were you married?" Vic's question was point blank and it seemed to come after a train of thought.
"My husband was killed while we were on our honeymoon," she said quietly. Her answer came spontaneously and without any hesitation. "On our wedding day, to be precise. We have been married for barely ten hours..."
Vic's eyes caught Mika's. "Christ, I am so sorry! How awful..."
Mika dipped her head in acknowledgment, leaning back against the sofa. "And you?"
"I was married to Alyssa for three years. We married at age 20. It wasn't a whirlwind romance. We met in college and were girlfriends for four years before we took the plunge. The twins were three when she died." Vic spoke normally, unemotionally. "We both decided we want to have kids even before the marriage. We got married in New York. We went to Europe for our honeymoon. We had the IVF done in Paris. We used my egg cells and a French friend's sperm cells. We were so happy when we were told that we were successful on our first try and that it was going to be a twin. Midway of the pregnancy, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. There was an option to terminate the pregnancy so she could undergo chemotherapy but she refused. By the time she gave birth, the cancer was far advance already. She was ill for a long time. The twins barely knew her." Vic paused for a while and then she asked, "Your husband... I take there was an accident?"
"It was a car crash. After the wedding reception, we drove down to Laoag. We were in our own car and only about 15 kilometers from the hotel we booked for the night. We were to take a flight for Batanes the following day. We were supposed to spend a week there. Anyhow, it was dark and it was raining. I suppose Kiefer was tired and had had a couple of drinks at the reception. The accident was his fault. He took a bend too quickly, too near the center of the road..."
A curious thing happened to her as she talked. For the first time ever, she felt detached, uninvolved, as if the people she was talking about were strangers.
"There was a head-on collision. Our car was a total wreck and I came out of it with a bruise on the cheekbone and a broken wrist. People called it a miracle I survived. Kiefer was killed outright, so was the driver of the other car."
She talked on without pain or emotion of any kind, telling Vic the details as she remembered them, patchy though they were.
"I can't decide which is worse," Mika said at length, "I mean, you lost your wife after 3 years, but you had those three years with her. I had... But maybe it was better that way. Maybe it would have been worse if I'd had..."
"Don't do that, Mika. Neither you nor I can answer that question, so do not try. Love is not something you can measure in time or by pouring into a bucket to see how much there is."
Mika gave out a soft laughter which left a smile at her lips, making it impossible for Vic to take her eyes off of her. "How complicated life could get if one could do that."
Vic smile was wry. "But if we could, I'd say that your bucket will be filled to the brim when you discover love all over again. You'll remarry, given the time."
The smile faded from the secretary's lips... from her eyes too! "I doubt that very much."
"I said in time. You'll see."
"Can you envisage yourself remarrying, Vic?"
"Envisage?" She chuckled. "I have every intention of doing so." Then she laughed and picked up her cup and saucer and rattled them, laughing even more at the look on her secretary's face.
"Dear me!" Mika looked heavenward. "Could that possibly mean you are still thirsty?" She poured more coffee and they talked on and on. It was only when the clock chimed on the hour that she realized how late it was... and that she had virtually told her boss her life story. She shut up at once, almost embarrassed at the way she had chattered on about herself. But Vic prompted her... she had encouraged her... as she sat back and done most of the listening.
"Vic, it is four o'clock in the morning!"
"So what? You don't have to get up early for work today."
"No. But you do."
"My dear, Mika, I don't have to do any such thing."
She was right, off course. Nevertheless, she got up quickly.
"I fear I have bored you to death, Vic. All at once, you can't wait to get away."
Vic Galang looked at her... every inch of her, deeply disturbed by the picture she made. How unaware she was of her beauty, sitting there like that, her long legs curled under her, the swirl of dark hair when she toss her head back, laughing, the incredible gray eyes...
The boss thought she ought to go... she ought to go... NOW! The self-discipline, the self-control which was so much a part of her nature was slipping, has been eroding steadily tonight with every thick of the clock.
Vic smiled to herself... at herself. The erosion had not started tonight, not by any means. She had wanted this woman for a long time... had looked at her a dozen times a day and wanted to make love to her there and then--- anywhere, anytime, all the time...
"I wish you would say something." Mika looked up at her boss, laughing a little uncertainly. "Your silence is confirming what I said."
"Is it? Then it just goes to show how wrong you can be." Vic bent suddenly to take hold of her hands, pulling her to her feet.
Mika's stomach tightened, the touch of her hands... her nearness sending shivers long the surface of her skin. Dear God! She is so attractive.
"What is wrong, Vic?" She felt her mouth go dry, had to moisten her lips before she could go on. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
It seemed an eternity passed before the boss answered her. She felt as though she were drowning in the intense brown of her eyes... eyes which were looking at her in a way they'd never looked at her before. Her voice was gravelly as she spoke, deep and very quiet. "Mika, if I stay here any longer, I shall make love to you. That is what's wrong."
It took Mika's breath away. Her eyes widened, her lips parted, but no words came out. Make love to her?
"I... but I..." She resorted to flippancy--- it was the only way she could cover her floundering, her astonishment. "You made that sound as though as I have no say in the matter."
Vic just smiled drawing Mika against her and kissing her before she had any chance of escape. But this time, the secretary did not want to escape...
This time, Mika felt she was being kissed differently. It began with savagery she welcomed because she'd waited so long to know once again the feel of her lips on hers. She had not realized that until now, she was not merely attracted to this person. She was hungry for her!
Sweet sensations exploded within her as Vic's kiss changed from raw and blatant demand to a subtle coaxing which turned her hunger into an aching need. Vic's arousal was obvious, immediate, but she was in control and it was she who set the pace, kissing her differently all the time she was locked in her arms--- teasing, withdrawing, exploring until finally she wrenched away from her, gasping and shocked by an expertise she had never before encountered, an excitement that made her head spin.
Not a word was spoken as they looked at each other, standing two feet apart. Then Vic's eyes moved to the soft curves of her breasts, their rise and fall as she fought to control her breathing, and the slight move she made drew a frightened protest from her.
Mika stepped swiftly away from her. "No, Vic!" If she touched her body, she would be lost... completely lost. As it was, she had some control, enough to realize what a ghastly mistake she had made... what Vic must be thinking of her now. "Vic, please! I... I did not invite you in to... for..."
"I am aware of that." Vic's eyes closed briefly and she left out a long, slow breath. "Unfortunately, I am very well aware of it."
Mika turned away from Vic, feeling guilty for some unfathomable reason. "I... All I wanted tonight was to get to know you better... to improve our relationship."
Vic's low laughter brought Mika swiftly round to face her as she realized what she had said. "I didn't... You know what I meant, Vic. Right from the start there was animosity between us... and this last week has been unbearable. The tension has been so upsetting and... and all I wanted to do was to put an end to it." She looked away, feeling silly. She could not blame her for getting the wrong impression. But if she had known that Vic was attracted to her, she would've never invited her here.
"Mika... Mika, come here."
"No! I have told you. I..."
"All right. You don't need to draw pictures for me. But look at me, at least, because it seems that the same can't be said for you."
Mika look at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that for a twenty-eight-year-old-woman who went as far as the altar with the last man in her life, you're incredible naïve. There is not..." Vic took a deep breath. "There never has been any animosity between us. It exists only in your mind. The animosity is quite the wrong word. What you are referring to is the physical attraction we both felt from the start. As for your other expression.... The tension you refer to is real enough. "She smiled humorlessly, the deadly serious eyes denying Mika the ability to look away. "I don't need to say more... you know what the remedy is."
Mika's heart was pounding with alarm. She was hearing the truth and it was unwelcome. "You don't mince your words, do you? You certainly got to the heart of the matter." Her attempt at laughter came out hallow, leaving the boss unmoved. Vic's face was impassive and she might just as well have been talking about tomorrow's weather forecast.
"Since when did I call a spade a digging implement? Mika, listen to me and remember what I will tell you. Kiefer is dead. You are alive... and young and a very desirable woman. You are also desirous. You want me as much as I want you... but there is a difference. I have no justification to make. Neither do you, in fact, but you think you have. It is only a matter of time before we become lovers. You need time, and I'll give it to you. But believe me, when I decide that the time is right to make love to you, you won't have say in the matter."
Vic picked up her coat and made for the door. "Goodnight, Mika. Take care of yourself and have a good Christmas. I'll see myself out."
She left, closing the front door quietly behind her. As she started the engine of the Rolls, she glanced at the balcony of her secretary's unit. She placed her hands on the steering wheel and stared out into the wet blackness of the street, frowning. From the very beginning she had known some things about her almost instinctively, and she'd learn more with every passing week. But there was something about her, somehow, which did not quite add up, and she was damned if she won't be able to figure it out...
She could her Yoda's voice in her mind, saying ... "May the force be with you..."