'I love you' were three words Ezra never desired hearing or saying again until he met Billie. It's those same three words he couldn't imagine her ever uttering to him, and yet there they were confessing their love in an empty practice room.
He had bared his soul to her — told her all the things he had feared about himself. Things that he thought would push her away, but it only brought them closer. It's as if she grasped on tighter to him when he let everything go and allowed the cards to fall where they may. Ezra is certain of one thing, though. He would never let go of her.
The song, though difficult to listen to, provided a catharsis he didn't realize he needed. As he braced himself through the lyrics, Ezra slowly buried every trauma he created and endured with Madison. He put it all to rest right then and there knowing it would never be brought to light again. When that voicemail he had dreaded for what felt like ages finally blared into the silence, Ezra no longer felt shame or anger.
In fact, he only felt peace. Finally acknowledging the weight of his overdose made him want to get better. He didn't want to end up like his father. Hearing that god awful, broken sound that emitted out of Billie when he told her he had almost died was enough encouragement to remain sober for a lifetime.
He would try. Not only for her, but for himself.
When the two returned back to the bus to gather his luggage, Jude and Ambrose were nowhere to be found. It was likely that they had already taken off for the week-long break, but Ezra didn't care. He didn't want to explain anything to anyone anymore.
Billie had been the one to find the papers. They were folded neatly on the table near the couch he had got on his knees in front of. Though he wouldn't have predicted it, Madison's signature graced the final page. Perhaps it had been her own way of burying their trauma by deciding to remove the voicemail.
For the first time in five years, Madison and Ezra had let each other go fully and completely. The ties that bind them severed entirely that night.
Jeff arrived not much long after Billie located the papers, and Ezra made a point of shoving them into his chest before the two sprinted out the door to catch the soonest flight to New York. There was nothing his manager could say to stop him, and Jeff knew it. Billie had enough money to start The Collective, and the voicemail would never be heard by the public. He was free to do what he wished with her now.
The two arrived in New York from a red eye the following morning. Ezra hadn't slept a wink out of fear that he'd wake up and find that it had all been some hallucination. Instead, he spent the duration of their flight holding Billie's hand and silently watching over her as she slept.
The two opted for a suite rather than staying in Billie's apartment. He could live in a box with her for the next week for all he cared, but the hotel provided better security and privacy. They both knew the minute the paparazzi saw them out in public, wherever they stayed would be flooded.
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As they finally make their way to the suite, Ezra slips the keycard into the door and pushes it open for Billie. She walks into the space with wide eyes, bags dropping immediately as she moves to see out the large windows on the other end of the room. "This is amazing," she muses, "I've never stayed anywhere with a view like this."
"I'm glad you like it," he smiles, closing the door behind him as he places his bags next to hers.
"You have to let me pay for half of it," she insists while turning towards him, "I'm serious. It's way too much."
"You'll never pay when you're with me," he reminds, "Besides, it's a gift."
"A gift for what?" She questions with a puzzled look, and Ezra is at a loss for words.
He shrugs softly, hands finding the pockets of his pants. "For just ... being you."
"Ezra," she breathes while moving to snake her arms in between his own and around his torso. "You don't have to bribe me with gifts to make me want to be here."
It's as if she can read his mind even before he's realized his own intentions. Ezra gulps past the lump forming in his throat before pressing a chaste kiss against her forehead. "I know," he assures, "When you headline your own tour, you can pay for a hotel stay. How about that?"
"Is that a challenge?" She questions with a raise of her brow.
"More like a future arrangement. Give it a year or two, and you'll be making more money than me," he assures with a chuckle.
"I hope girlcrush gets its own tour," she muses, "and I hope The Collective gets us there."
"It will," he replies, "I know it."
"And what about you? Will you still be touring two years from now?"
"I don't want to think about what happens after next month," he admits, "Let's just be right here in this moment." Ezra can feel a new sort of weight sitting on his chest. After next month, he and Billie would be on completely different schedules. She'd live in New York while he'd be out in LA. How on earth would they even begin to make that work?
"Okay," she smiles up at him, and it takes everything in him to not hold onto her and never let go.
"I'm gonna shower," he states, "We can do whatever you want after. You can take me to the best places, but keep dinner free."
"Why's that?"
"Because I'm taking you out on a date," Ezra replies before slipping out of her grasp to walk towards his luggage.
"Okay," she beams, tone so full of excitement his heart nearly bursts. He grabs his bag of toiletries before heading into the bathroom.
Ezra closes the door and turns on the shower, letting the sound of water try to quiet the anxiety welling up inside him. He had it so good right now it almost felt like a fantasy. His fingertips reach for a prescription bottle before shaking out a solitary pill.
He had been prescribed anxiety medication after his father's death to deal with infrequent panic attacks, and they had remained the only prescription which he used sparingly. It was fairly neutral to the sort of tranquilizers and hard drugs he had been taking.
He's not sure what came first, truthfully — the addiction or the anxiety. Maybe they had always been there feeding off of each other. Ezra didn't need coke or ecstasy to cope anymore. He could function properly with the right medication. He would do it to ensure that his budding relationship with Billie wouldn't be compromised.
After swallowing the pill, he begins to undress before slipping into the shower. It's rather large and contains two shower heads, one on the ceiling and one attached to the wall. It's surrounded by glass, now fogged from the steam. There's even a bench built into the marble.
He steps into the hot water, hands pushing back his hair as he allows himself to stand under the showerhead suspended from the ceiling. The water is coming down like rainfall, and he can finally breathe again.
The sound of the bathroom door opening causes him to open his eyes. His hand swipes at the glass to allow him to see the femme more clearly. Her eyes meet his and a flush graces her cheeks. "Can I join you?" She asks, and Ezra can feel an insatiable throbbing already forming.
"Yeah, of course," he manages to get out, "The water's hot."
"I like it hot," she assures, and Ezra refrains from stroking himself to the sight of her undressing before she pushes open the glass and steps in. His eyes trail over her breasts and the way they pebble in the open air.
"You're staring," she points out, and Ezra turns red.
"Right, sorry," he offers before averting his vision. He attempts to busy himself by pushing the water through his hair once more.
"Do I make you nervous?" She questions with a playful grin while stepping underneath the rainfall, water soaking her entire body.
"I've seen you naked before," he attempts to laugh it off, but Ezra can't shake the feeling that this time it's different. It means so much more, and fucking her wouldn't be the same after their confession. He isn't sure what it'll be like, but it won't be the kind of sex he'd openly been a part of in a long time.
"You can touch me," she suggests with a sultry smile and Ezra nearly crumbles. It's as if he's a virgin all over again.
She takes a step forward, body nearly inches from his. His hand extends to touch her hip before it slides to the small of her back. He tugs her closer, lips pressing against hers passionately. Their mouths move against each other in perfect sync. She tugs at his bottom lip before their tongues mesh. He attempts not to push himself into her, but Billie appears to be growing impatient with the way she's grinding against him.
"Fuck me," she moans against his mouth.
"If we start now, we're not leaving this apartment until tonight," he warns.
"I don't care," she breathes before her hand slips between them to stroke him teasingly. "I want you inside me."
Without another word, Ezra moves to grip at her sides and hoist her up so that she's got her legs wrapped around his waist. He presses her against the marble, water sliding down his back. One hand briefly holds her up while the other moves to help push himself inside her.
Billie lets out a moan as he buries himself fully, while Ezra is certain he can see stars. He continues propping her up against the wall as he begins pumping in and out slowly. He wants to enjoy the feeling, wants to treasure the silk between her legs.
"Faster," she begs, and Ezra happily obliges. She's practically bouncing on him as he thrusts more quickly into her. His vision falls to those perfect breasts while Billie digs her nails into his back.
It's strange how undone she makes him. It's like she's a new kind of addiction driving him wild with every dose. Each thrust pushes him further into his pleasure. "This is mine," he grits out, and he pounds harder into until she's practically a moaning mess. "All fuckin' mine."
"I'm yours," she cries out.
"Fuck," he groans as she clenches around him, and Ezra presses his lips against the crook of her collarbone. He sucks roughly at her supple skin, leaving a trail of marks down to her collarbone as she leaves her own mark on his back.
Her legs are trembling around his waist, walls tightening and pulsating as she begins to climb towards her peak. "You're taking it so good, baby," he praises.
She nods, unable to even formulate words as he continues pounding into her. "Ezra, please," she pants out, "It feels — you're getting me close."
His pace doesn't soften or slow. It's taking everything in him not to come, but he wants to reach that point of ecstasy with her.
"Come with me," he begs, "Can you do that for me?"
She nods, eyes pressed shut in ecstasy. As if he's learned her body completely, Ezra can tell right as she's reaching her climax. The moans echo off the marble and through the bathroom before he offers a final thrust and comes with her. He keeps her pressed against the wall as they attempt to catch their breath, chests heaving rapidly.
"We've never fucked like that," she mumbles with a grin.
"Like what?" He offers with a soft chuckle before letting her slip back onto the floor.
"Like you couldn't get enough of me."
"Each time we've been together, I've never been able to get enough. I was just toning it back before," he admits before stepping into the water once more.
"Why's that?" She questions with furrowed brows.
"Because I never knew when it would be our last," he admits with a shrug. It didn't matter now, but it did then. "And I knew I would never get over you if we fucked like that."
She's silent for a moment before reaching to pump shampoo into her hand. He watches as she stands on her toes and moves to rake it through his hair.
"I'm not going anywhere," she assures with a smile, and Ezra almost feels like crying. Never had someone shown him such an act of intimacy or loved him so radically.
"I know," he rasps before pressing a kiss against her lips. "You've done enough for me. Let me take care of you." Ezra reaches for the shampoo before beginning to lather it in her hair as she presses kisses against his collarbone.
The two spend much longer in the shower than he realizes, skin pruned after they step out into the steamy bathroom. He offers her a towel before reaching for his own. Watching her dry herself off only makes him hard with desire once more.
God, he wouldn't make it through this week without fucking her at least twice a day. Perhaps she could be his new addiction, something to supplement the aching hole left by the drugs and alcohol. He didn't need any of it if he had her.
Before she can protest, Ezra reaches for her waist once more and throws her over his shoulder. A playful yelp escapes past her lips as her wet hair clings to his back. "Hey!" She yells out, "Put me down!"
Ezra follows orders by leading her out to the bed and plopping her on the mattress. She's laughing so freely that he doesn't want her to stop. He wants her to be this happy always, and maybe he could be the one to make it so.
"What are you doing?" She giggles while her naked body is still glistening and pink from the hot water.
"I told you we weren't going to leave this room if we started," he reminds.
"Round two already?" She questions with a playful raise of her brow before her legs part slightly. Ezra nearly grows weak at the sight, mouth watering for a taste.
"There'll be more than two rounds, trust me. I'm going to fuck you on every surface of this suite," he promises, "but right now, I'm going to make love to you."
He moves to crawl onto the bed, hands propping himself up on either side of her head as he hovers over her. He presses a kiss against her lips before peppering them slowly on her nose, her cheeks, and her chin. Billie lets out another giggle as her arms wrap loosely around the back of his neck.
He moves down to her neck, then her collarbones before trailing a line of kisses slowly down to her navel. Her breathing grows ragged as he kisses the inside of her thighs until meeting the center.
He slowly runs his tongue along her causing a soft moan to escape her lips. Ezra tries to restrain himself from going any faster, desperate to make this last as long as possible. He circles and sucks on her bud before slipping two fingers inside her. She's got her hands entangled in his wet locks, gripping roughly at the roots while she begins grinding herself frantically against his tongue.
"Be patient," he mumbles against her, "I'm gonna make you feel good, I promise."
She nods, frustrated moans still escaping her lips. One hand slips from her hand to pinch at her nipple demonstrating she's trying to release some built up friction.
He looks up from his feast while his hand moves to grip both her wrists and pin them over her head. "Don't touch yourself," he commands, "I want to be the only reason you come."
"I want to come," she rasps, "Let me."
"I know, baby. Soon," he replies while his free hand rubs slowly around her bud. "You're being such a good girl for me."
Her legs widen, hips arching in such a way that he knows she's desperate for him. His fingers pull away and move to wrap loosely around himself. He only allows a few pumps before he steadies himself right against her entrance.
"Look at me," he commands, and Billie flickers her attention from between them up to his eyes. "That's it, baby."
Slowly, he presses into her. He's barely an inch in before he pulls out entirely. She lets out a frustrated gasp, eyes burning into his as she bucks her hips forward. "You're being a tease," she huffs.
"Beg," he demands before pressing inside her only to pull right out again, "Tell me you want it."
"Ezra," she moans, "Please. I want you."
"You want me?" He questions, repeating his actions.
"Yes, I need you. Please, baby," she pants out.
He pushes slowly inside her once more, but this time he allows himself to go deeper. She feels endless as he continues pushing until he's buried completely. Ezra lets out a groan, hands nearly shaking while he releases his grip around her wrists. "How do you feel this fuckin' good?" He manages to get out, "I swear, you were made for me."
Billie lets out a moan of her own as he begins to move inside her. His thrusts are long and slow. He refuses to go fast and waste this pleasure on a quick fuck. He wanted to remember this moment forever and hold onto it for his worst days.
"I love you," she gasps out, and his thrusts grow rougher.
"I love you, too," he echoes, lips finding hers. One hand cups her jaw while the other grips at the sheets. He almost pulls out entirely before thrusting fully into her. She whimpers and he does it once more. "Say it again," he demands.
"I love you," she moans, "Let me show you how much I do."
He obliges, knowing that there is no way in hell they were going to keep a slow pace with her riding him. But he doesn't care. All he wants is to see and feel her next orgasm.
Ezra shifts his body to press his back against the headboard, and she wastes no time to straddle and lower herself onto him. His calloused hands reach for her hips as she begins to grind into him. She rocks back and forth, salacious moans causing him to grip her tighter.
"I missed this," she admits, fingertips moving to cup his jaw.
"Mm," he nods, "Me too."
As she thrusts herself onto him, Ezra fixates on the way her breasts bounce and her neck elongates as she tips her head back in ecstasy. "So pretty riding me," he praises, "You wanna come like this, Willow?"
The nickname causes her to falter for a moment, a smile tugging at her features before she picks up the pace. "Call me that again," she demands, hands resting on his chest as she begins to slam herself into him.
"Willow?" He questions, "Does that turn you on?"
"Fuck, Ezra," she breathes out, her pace growing rougher and more sloppy.
"You want me to finish for you?" He questions as her frustrated whimpers begin. She nods eagerly, and Ezra angles himself so that he can thrust into her. She moves to press her lips on his, and he swallows her moans.
She's practically shaking, walls pulsating once more around him. Ezra slips his tongue between her lips, breath ragged as he quickens his pace. "I'm yours," he mumbles against her, "All yours."
Before she can reply, Billie reaches her climax. She moans against his mouth while he pounds into her. Ezra follows not too long after, body nearly trembling with bliss.
"I'm never going to get enough of you," she rasps, and her tone borders a certain gravity he can't place. It's as if she's realizing the depth of their connection for the first time, as if she's seeing the red string of fate between them.
He would be tied to her forever, and Ezra considered it his one blessing in life. It meant more than the money or the fame. Hell, it even meant more than his music. But she looked at him for a split second like it was almost a curse, as if it scared her.
His stomach twists, and Ezra fears that this may be the end even before it really begins. However, her smile widens and it throws him through a loop. "I'm so lucky," she admits with a giggle and kisses his nose.
He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. There would be no tragedy, no demise to their story. And the weight on his chest begins to slowly dissolve.