Vera's POV
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Hide the test.
Old shoebox...good choice.
Call the doctor...fucking hell!
Ring...Ring...Ring...hello?
Somehow that was okay.
Wipe off the tears.
Take a breath.
There's a cigarette in the desk drawer...
That's no longer an option.
Breathe...just breathe.
You've been up here for too long.
You need to show him it's okay.
You need to lie.
The test was negative.
The doctor will prove that.
"I have an appointment tomorrow morning," I announce calmly as I enter the kitchen. He's already gotten out the cutting board and washed the produce. "See, It's okay."
"I'll drive you."
"I'll be okay on my own. I'm sure Maddy would love to skip our morning classes." I say with false cheer.
"I'll drive you." He repeats, meeting my eyes for a long moment.
"You're not coming in with me," I add in an equally sharp tone. He returns with a nod as if that was already inferred.
For a few minutes, we move around each other in silence. Prepping the meal together with silent communication. It's clear what we're both thinking about it.
"We need to talk about it, Dominic. It will eat us away if we don't." I finally say, laying down the knife and looking up at him. He reluctantly meets my eyes. "I've let you shut down long enough, It's time we talk."
"There isn't much to say on the topic, Vera. That..right now, is not an option. Personally, it's not something on my radar at all. That would ruin the sliver of hope we have for ourselves right now. Clearly, we need to be more careful, this shouldn't have been an option at all." He rants, running his hands through his hair and keeping his eyes steadily trained on me.
"See? There's a lot to say about it. Now can we just have a civil conversation about our future? Maybe it would be a good thing to outline our priorities and goals before we go through the dumpster fire that will be getting through this." I shout, taking a step back from him. "Fuck!" I hiss. Keep it together...
"Fine...fuck sorry." He sighed apologetically, slowly returning to his cooking. I picked up the knife and continued to cut potatoes.
"Actually..." I sigh, feeling defeated by today. "I'm not in the mood for this." I sat down the knife once again and turned to face him. "I'm tired, I still don't feel well, but we know the test was negative. That's enough reassurance for me to get to tomorrow." I reached out and absently smoothed the wrinkles in his shirt, warm taut skin hiding beneath. For once, I want nothing to do with this man's skin. "Finish dinner for Kara, I'm gonna go lie down..."
"Vera..." He whispered in a pained tone as I walked away, I mumbled a goodnight in return, making my way to my room.
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"I can drive myself, Dominic." I hissed, the keys to his car held tightly in my fist.
"I. Am. Driving. You." Dominic returned, blocking the door with the solid form of his body. I rolled my eyes, trying to calm myself down.
"Do you want me to miss my fucking appointment?" I cried out, flailing my arm in his face, earner an even more displeased look.
"Give me the keys, Vera!" He growled, fists balled at his sides and jaw fixed in a tense position.
"No."
"Vera..."
I cannot miss this appointment...
I let my arms fall, watching triumph wash over him. I stepped closer to him, smacking the keys into his chest and pushing him aside to get through to the door.
I kept my earbuds in during the car ride, signaling that I was not in the mood to talk to him. I know I shouldn't be mad...but neither of us is handling this well and the fact that I had to reel him in from falling apart when it was my body.
"Stay in the car," I barked as I tore off the seatbelt and grabbed my small leather satchel. He didn't move to respond, just sat, arms crossed over his chest, and gaze fixed on the cafe across the street. "Or you can get us coffee and wait for me in the car." No response...
I pushed the passenger side door closed, maybe a little harder than necessary, and made my way inside.
"Vera Adams...seventeen...2242 Oakland Street...thank you."
I sat down across from the doors, awaiting a nurse to come out and call my name. I picked up a magazine, sitting it in my lap, I didn't read it, just sat and stared down at it.
"Adams."
I drifted back the hall behind the nurse, taking a seat in the examination room, quietly answering her general questions.
"Are you sexually active..."
"Uhm..." The question took me aback. I was here for a pregnancy test... "Yes. That's kinda why I'm here." her eyes stayed fixed on mine for a long moment. Pity. Pity mixed with disappointment. The woman was a stranger to me, but somehow I managed to disappoint even her.
A urine sample and a blood sample.
"Wait here, the doctor will be in soon to give you your results."
------
Fall had completely set in. The leaves changed colors. The grass turned a dull shade of green. Jackets were necessary. The cold wind nipped at your ankles when you went outside. Halloween decor was getting thrown up. The season was changing.
I hugged my arms around myself as I spotted Maddy's car and headed towards it. This was one of those moments when I was so very grateful for her. The passenger side door was already warmed up. There was a brown bag of takeout sitting in the back. Soft music filled the tiny vehicle.
"When I realized the address was a planned parenthood I thought some comfort was necessary." She admitted, reaching out and squeezing my hand. I nodded solemnly, climbing in beside her and curling into the seat.
"Can we just go to your house and watch movies? I can't face him right now...not after what I just had to do." A soft whimper left my lips and I could no longer hold back the sobs inside me.
"I know, babes, you can stay at mine. I love you..."
------
I have completely thrown myself into school. Essays have been written, college applications have been sent in. I got a job at the bookstore a few blocks from school. My shifts are normally right after school lets out so I just go there straight from school, then I walk home. I know Dominic would pick me up, but then he would know I got a job. Right now just thinks I'm doing stuff after school. No...I'm just avoiding him.
He and I's relationship deteriorated when the scare happened. He shut down, I became cold and abrasive. He's tried to talk to me but I can barely face him. I use my "senior year" as an excuse, but it's hard to lie to him. I hate not being able to touch him, not being able to kiss him, or let him hold me when I have a rough day. It's just cold between us now. I hate it...
"Hey, V, I'm headin' to work. Got anything planned for the day?" Of course I do, like I would spend the day alone in the house with Dominic. I lift my head from my notebook and turn my smiling face towards her.
"Yeah, Maddy and I are doing some shopping and then having a spa weekend...as long as that's okay with you," I add the last bit realizing I hadn't even thought of asking. Have we really grown this much apart?
"Of course, Mads is always welcome." She gushes, leaning her head against my doorway
"Oh...well we were actually planning on staying at her place," I say, almost a whisper hoping she doesn't hear.
"Vera..." She sighs, shaking her head slightly. "You know I don't trust her brother. Dominic may, but he's always had eyes on you...I don't like it." Ha...if she only knew how Dominic would react to that idea now...if he even still feels the same.
"C'mon Kara, we're gonna be in Maddy's room for most of the night anyway. She says Dylans barely around anymore." I explain, knowing that when Maddy saw the coldness between Dominic and I, she would pester me with questions. Questions I do not want to deal with. She's been gracious so far, especially recently...but I don't want to deal with that.
"Stand your ground if he tries anything, Vera Adams. You're a strong girl." I know she's referring to this summer. It seems like a blip in my past already but I have noticed some lasting effects. Men scare me...in crowded places my anxiety skyrockets...I don't dance anymore, even when I'm at home.
At first, I felt so unaffected by it. It felt like everyone around me was so much more distressed about it than I was. Then Dominic and I ended, it was the safety that he gave me that allowed me to feel so okay. Now I'm left to my own devices to process it.
"I will, I promise," I send and a smile and a small air kiss. "No go before you're late, Tara will have your ass if you're late." Her smile falters for a moment and I see a familiar feeling in her eyes.
"Tara retired a few weeks ago..." I barely know you...
"Uhm..." I gulp and look away for a moment, both of us left with the shock of our shared realization.
"Have a good day, Sweet Heart..." With that she disappears, the door closes with a sudden jolt, and I exhale. I've lost her too...
I distract myself by packing my bag and getting ready for Maddy to pick me up. I stand in front of my mirror and stare at myself. There's still remnants of my summer tan...my shoulders still wearing a golden hue. There's also remnants of Paris. Somehow I've become more womanly. My curves seem fuller, more proportionate with my stature. I no longer look like a girl...I look like a woman.
I carry my stuff downstairs, my jacket slung over my arm with it being so warm indoors. I check my phone. She's only a few minutes away... And I pray to any higher power listening that Dominic doesn't decide to make an appearance.
"Vera?"
I guess none were listening...
"Can we talk?" I hold up my backpack and jacket as a reply, clearly, I'm going somewhere. "Just a few minutes, I'm only asking for a few minutes." I grit my teeth and nod, knowing this will eat away at my conscience all weekend. I text Maddy telling her to wait in her car, I'll only be a few minutes.
"What?" I ask, not following him when he sits down on the stairs.
"What happened?" He whispers, eyes cast down to the floor.
"You know what happened, Dominic..." I return, leaning my back against the door to feel less stiff.
"Yeah...but I didn't. We're okay. Why arent we okay?" I rarely have ever seen this side of Dominic, when the man becomes a boy. He loses his ego and wears his everything on his sleeve.
"That put things into perspective, Dominic. That's why we aren't okay now. If that didn't go the way it did," The way I told you it did... "What would we have done?" Would you have asked me to do what I did? "You avoid the topic of our future so much, I can't do this if we're not on the same page for where it's going."
"Okay..." He sighs, raking both hands through his hair and taking a deep breath. "Okay, we can talk about it. I want to talk about it. I know you're going somewhere, I also know I don't have the right to ask where. But we can get dinner some night that Kara works, and we'll talk." He nods his head a few times, I think more to himself than me.
"Yeah...I can do dinner. Maddy's waiting for me..." He nods, a flicker of jealousy flashing across his face before it falls again. "She said he won't be there," I add before closing the front door behind me.
------
I was actually able to be happy with Maddy. We spent the last bit of the morning at a cafe, then we went to some small shops before heading to the mall. When both of us had spent more than we would like to admit, we head back to her house.
Maddy's parents were wealthy, probably one of the wealthiest in our town. But they were humble people and lived solely for the arts, not money. Maddy's home was a whole experience, while it had all the expensive, luxury additions, they had filled it with a colorful array of decor ranging from high-end art to things they repurposed from literal junkyards. If it wasn't already obvious, her parents were quite the characters.
"Mom and dad are in Seattle still, they ended up finding out about some underground art shows and decided to stay a few more nights. I have no clue where they're gonna put it all..." She laughs, tossing her arm in the direction of the beautiful clutter that filled each room. Somehow they managed to fill the house completely without it looking tacky or messy.
"They'll find space, they always do..."
We unpack our stuff in Maddy's room, not caring if it got mixed together. We decide we can do a late dinner with a movie after our spa treatment.
"Wow, girl..." Maddy gasps, looking my bare body up and down, I didn't bother covering up, we were sharing a bath anyways. I rolled my eyes and climb into the bath. Maddy's tub was built into a tasteful cement platform, small steps leading up to it, and it was more than big enough to accommodate two people. "I'm serious, you look incredible. What happened in the last few months?"
"Uhm..."
"Dominic?" She inquires, sending me a look, I nod solemnly as I sink into the water. She follows behind me, our nakedness disappearing beneath the bubbles.
"Yeah...Dominic." She leans back, closing her eyes and exhaling a big breath, signaling me to lay it on her. And I do, I tell her everything. I tell her how I'm still so deeply in love with him that it is physically draining to not have him. It's like being away from him is killing me...
Somewhere during our venting session, Maddy opens the windows in front of the tub and lights up a joint. We pass it back and forth while I talk about Dominic and she listens, throwing in her own to sense when she feels the need. When the water begins to cool we decide we should actually begin our spa, now that therapy was out of the way.
We leave Maddy's glorious bathroom washed, moisturized, and pampered from head to toe. One of our more expensive purchases was matching robes that said "Mrs. & Mrs." they were lined and satin with a deliciously soft, fluffy exterior, the tie being made of the same satin on the inside for contrast.
We head downstairs, completely comfortable in just our robes and slippers. We go straight to the kitchen, having noticed our current state of hunger. Maddy sits at the counter munching away on a bag of plain tortilla chips while I cook us an actual dinner.
"Usually I wouldn't mind coming home to two girls in robes but considering it's Thing One and Thing Two it's kind of icky." Dylan steps into the kitchen, taking a seat beside Maddy. I turn around not wanting to give him an accidental show. I can see the disappointment cross his face. Suddenly I'm not so comfortable in just my robe and slippers.
"Definitely not because it's your little sister and her best friend of many years," Maddy replies in a tone dripping with sarcasm.
"I don't mind the latter..." He sighs, leaning back and flicking his eyes up to mine.
"Well I'm pretty sure the latter does," She pauses for the moments, her eyes meeting mine and I know she has this handled. "I'm sure her boyfriend would too if he was here. So for your own sake, Dylan...drop it."
"Vera has a boyfriend?" He asked, looking slightly shaken by this. He turns to me, "You have a boyfriend?" Now he was mocking me, any unbalance in him was immediately whisked away. "Yeah right, like little-miss-prude here could manage that."
"Welp, she did." Maddy returns, her eyes still trained on me.
"Mhmm..." Dylan continued, opening his mouth to say more. My fingers tap against the counter, I see the small smirk form on Maddy's lips.
"Oh, I did..." I start, biting the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to reign it in...for now. "Maddy's right, you're lucky he's not here. I kind of wish he was...it would be rather entertaining to watch."
"Ooo I bet he's just so big and bad," Dylan laughs, throwing his head back, and Maddy's failing miserably as keeping a straight face. "Whoever he is I doubt I need to worry about him. Honestly, Vera..." He shakes his head, letting his statement trail off." Maddy begins audibly laughing, tears welling in her eyes.
"What, Dylan? You could do better? I highly doubt that. Wanna know what he has that you don't?" I ask, leaning my hip against the stove, my chin raised.
"What could that be, Vera?" He leans in with a confident smirk.
"Me..." I pause for a moment, seeing him become shaken all over again. "He has all of me, and I let him have it. He's well aware of how much he has me," Or he did...before all this, but Dylan doesn't need to know that. "He also has quite the dick...so that too," I add for some extra flavor.
"Like I'll be heartbroken over that," He hisses, rolling his eyes. "This shit's lame anyway..." With that, he pushed himself off of the barstool and disappears to some other corner of the house.
"He really has all of you?" Maddy whispers, a smile tugging at her lips.
"Yeah...yeah I think he does."