I take a step forward and sway dizzily.
I have crossed into the blue heart of the forest for nothing, the intrusive thought creeps into my head. Despite all my efforts, my brother is still going to die from this damned sickness that plays guest and refuses to leave our house.
Another thought pushes through... Am I going to give up now just because I'm afraid and cold? Shouldn't I be trying harder? Shouldn't I be braver, stronger, smarter?
I thought you were better than this, Sian...
I clench my numb hands into fists. "I am not a coward," I hiss under my breath.
But I don't want to die either. I came here to save a life, not to lose my own!
'This is not the time, or place, to be brave,' the raspy whisper brushes back into my head. 'The cold forgives nothing and breaks to no one'.
I glance around, searching in panic for the intruder, but no living soul is in sight.
'No human living soul,' the whisper corrects me. I feel a presence at my back, reaching out to me, and when it touches me... I suddenly taste ice in my whole mouth, feel it invading my nose, running down my throat, filling up my lungs, spilling into me until there is no warmth left anymore. I am made of cold, every part, every nook and corner of me is made of ice.
I try to beg for mercy, or at least let out a pleading whimper, but I can't even do that. I am frozen solid, a living human statue made of solid ice.
The eerie presence stops touching me. The second it leaves me, my legs give out and I fall to my knees, hitting them hard on the snow. My whole body is shaking, so much that I can barely hold myself upright.
I hear a light chuckle behind me. My suffering is pleasing to this creature, I realize. And then it murmurs close to my ear, words of a foreign tongue that I've never heard before, but even though I don't know what it is saying, its meaning appears clearly inside my head somehow.
'A little of blue might be able to save you, a whole lot of blue will make it undue.'
I shut my eyes tight, too scared to face my torturer. My heart is beating fast inside my chest, loud drums pounding into my ears, deafening every thought I have inside. Everything is dark as I hide in the pitch-black from behind my eyes.
'What is the amount you be willing to pay when the time to collect comes your way?' The presence says and I can feel its warm breath in front of my face.
It is circling me, taunting me, enjoying my panic and fear.
'Perhaps a little bit of life?' It suggests in a low murmur and then something soft touches my forehead. An energy discharge bursts from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, washing over my whole body as if I had been shoved underneath a cold waterfall.
And then, for a splitting second that seems to last an eternity, I am a part of the forest.
I could feel all the delicate flowers around me, their energy pulsing ever so softly at the palms of my hands... I could feel them breathing, quick and sharp, like a hummingbird's beating heart, each short breath in synch with the twinkling light that emanates from the tiny crowns at the center of their star-shaped petals. They are glinting star-shaped blue jewels spread over the snow, showcasing all of their glory to the sky. That is when I finally understand their given name.
Glory-of-the-snow. Glory in the snow. The treasure of Blaewen.
My breathing is sharp and fast like the flowers, but then the world lurches and I am suddenly tucked tight on the ground. I can feel the hard cold ground shivering like me, laying underneath a protective blanket of soft pristine snow... something pulls at my whole body, taking me off the ground and whisking me high up in the air, and now I can feel the naked branches of the trees swaying in the wind, brushing their creaking stick-fingers through the cold winter air.
I can hear the forest's slow heartbeat and the quiet sleepy songs that the trees are singing to each other, songs about wintertime, resting silence, and the world covered in white... I can feel the heavy snow that is falling from the sky and all the beautiful ice crystals that are so light that they linger in the air, each one of them different and unique and special in its own perfection... I can see a beautiful halo of floating silver with wisps of misty white, and a mantle of bright shades of purple and blue falling all over the land...
Every inch of my soul feels like it is shattering over the weight of the immeasurable magnificence of it all. It is all so cold, tragic, inevitable, and unforgiving, but so incredibly beautiful as well.
'Isn't it? Most can't see winter's beauty.' The whisper replies in my head.
Just because something is beautiful, doesn't make it harmless... Winter is beautiful but it can be deadly too, I think to myself and my mother's warning comes back to me, from a distant summer day... 'Beware of beautiful things in this forest, child, for it is a trap for our eyes and our hearts.'
I hear a chuckle in return.
'That is true.' The whisper says inside my head. I open my eyes but see nothing in front of me. I search around. I know I'm not alone, and I know I'm not talking to myself.
"Who is this? I know you're here. Show yourself! Why are you even hiding from me?" I demand in a shaky voice while I scramble to my feet, still feeling dizzy and weak from the overload of sensations that had invaded me a moment ago. It's a struggle to regain my balance but I eventually manage to stand up, even if it's on shaky legs.
'Do you really want to know?' The whisper replies and I feel a gentle touch, stroking softly over my left cheek. 'Would you really like to see?'
I shiver under the invisible touch and give a trembling step back. There was nothing in front of me, but I know something was touching me. Am I going crazy? Or is this some sort of cruel illusion from the forest spirits that are playing tricks with my head?
I glance back at the limit where the blue flowers had started showing and I gasp in surprise. I can't see the end of them. The entire forest is covered in blue now, I realize in shock. The Glory-of-the-snows are everywhere and I can't figure out which way is back anymore.
"W-what is this? What is happening?" I stammer, taking many steps back, but from who, or to where, I cannot tell. The presence laughs at my distraught face.
'You're in the heart of Blaewen now. You can only leave if I let you.' It says, but I still can't see it. 'It does not matter what you are willing to pay, for there is only one answer that you really can say.'
Something shimmers a few feet from where I'm standing and I finally see a silhouette under the weak sunlight that wasn't here before I stepped into the heart of the forest. The creature is wearing a long gray cloak and a hood pulled over its head, so I can't catch most of its face, but I see its eyes. They have a strange glint, like when the sunlight catches a drop of frozen water, clean and sharp, sparkling inside the shade of the hood.
The creature has an ominous aura around itself and only then I understand the answer to its riddle.
'There is only one answer that you really can say...'
It's my life.
It wants my life.
...