[A/N] So it took a long long while but I finally found a man with enough muscles and a sexy enough glare I could call Veldore! If my book was a movie, I'd commission him as the actor!
[Joe Manganiello as Veldore]
There waited beside the doors entrance, expecting me to move forward and follow.
There it was, the nervousness I'd been dreading. There was no way this could go well. And that thought alone glued my feet to the ground.
Gravity was not my friend today.
Despite the overflow of emotion welling inside of me I pushed myself forward. If I had stayed still any longer I knew they would have taken the opportunity to simply drag me to the alter.
I hated how nervous I felt.
It seemed as though my nervousness and unwillingness to go was some how a betrayal to my mate. I was sure I had reason enough to want to delay the ceremony however I knew it was not my choice to make.
It was my mates, and I should be accept our bonding with the expected gratitude.
But that was it. It was never the bonding I had an issue with. Every vessel in my was certain I would never even think of leaving Veldore. I had, and never will, look at another man or woman in such a way as I do Veldore.
I just hope you understand the fear that was bubbling inside of me. I was about to walk through an entire kingdom of men, all ready and willing with an eye to judge, all or most believing I had abandoned their king for whatever reason...
And then there was my family...
Was it right to call them that? When I had been under their care almost a month back, I had very little notion of what went on beyond the gates of my small uptight community. So if you had asked me whether I had thought every child to be in a similar situation...
Well, I never really thought about other children, because in my world, at the time, there was only me and my abusers. I suppose I thought it normal. Not normal in the sense that everyone else went through the same thing but normal in the sense that, that was the way it was and I had never even seen another option.
You cannot miss, what you've never had.
Still, they are my family, no matter how much I rebuke calling them so.
Do I wish to see them?
...
No.
I was not ready to see them.
So much pain they had spread through out my life, I just could not see any possibility of me getting over it. I could not imagine simply forgetting what they had done.
Meeting them was sure to reopen wounds I did not want to unravel.
I paused and the guard glared at me impatiently.
I looked over at my new friend Verity.
"Verity... Will you accompany me?"
She turned to me, surprised, then smiled and turned to the guards. "May I?"
They seemed a little miffed by the idea however seemingly had no intention of refusing her company and nodded stiffly.
She beamed and took my by the hand.
I felt a sense of calm take place in the back of my chest, where the oceans waves had recently resumed in their play.
We turned right and followed the guards down the long, wide, marble hallway. I took the time and silence to admire the richly carved stone archways that reached up for the ceiling every ten or so steps. I gazed at the dip in the wall, with its cushioned bench and cross-wire windows half hidden by the red velvet sheets.
I purposely took my time as I came ever closer the the great dark oak doors, from which behind came all the chatter and buzzing of the townsfolk I would eventually present myself in front of.
"So you've been learning new things under your apprenticeship?" I asked Verity. "Of what nature?"
She smiled. "Oh naughty little me, I've been paying almost no attention to what he teaches me! I do try! But oh so many names and dates, and so little time!" She chuckled. "He says it's important to dedicate myself to learning those subjects that spark my own interest. So I've been in and out of the royal library reading books on all sorts of fascinating things!"
She seemed excited to tell me so I slowed my pace again until I was almost standing quite still as I walked forward. "Do tell!"
"Well for starters, herbs and their relation to our transformation and well being. Of course the correlation between the stars and the moon. Then there is mythical creatures, I like the ones with relations to werewolves. Like were-maids or jelly kiyles or vampires! Oh I do wish I knew if they existed or not! How I would love to find on!"
I laughed heartily. "You would like to find a vampire?"
She smiled. "Who knows, maybe they're a little misunderstood."
I smiled shaking my head. "Oh." I said as a thought came to mind. "So would you know anything about were-sprites?"
"Yes!" She exclaimed. "They where the first I came across, so many theories are based on were-sprites! Fascinating creatures. Did you know they cannot give birth? And they are eternal! Or so some say. Many of these books are contradictory and some say they are so easily killed their thought alone is what holds them in place."
"I think I've met one..." I hummed. It was more directed at the breeze that ran through the wide corridor than Verity's wide eyes.
"How? Where? Would you show me?"
I gave her a glum look. "If his majesty allows. I do wish to return..."
I was about to ask another question when I walked straight into the stiff back of one of the guards.
"It is time for your friend to turn back your majesty." He said gruffly, in a voice that stated there would be no arguments upon the matter.
I nodded. And turned to Verity. She smiled and curtsied. "I'll be there with the others, making sure Luna is with you when your vows are made. She then turned with a flutter to her left and skipped down the spiraling stair case to the side, her light white dress flowing behind her and her hair dancing about her back gaily.
I turned back to the door as the guards positioned themselves at either side, so as to make themselves seemingly invisible when the doors opened and I was to step forward, into the situation they had described so many times over.
I took a deep breath and swallowed the feeling of intimidation, silently thanking Luna for Verity's sincere amity, calming me on cue for the day that would be the threshold of my life.
Then the door where soundly pulled open as I faced a field of silent stares and curious expressions.
Deep breaths, I reminded myself, as I wandered into the room.
A room... It could hardly be considered as such. It took a large part of me to hold myself back from gawking in awe. I had been to this very room on the day of the ball, but never had it seemed so large, worldly and richly decorated. Even the ceiling, which was sure to take a man ladder of about thirty men to reach. Was now decorated with silken ribbons of blood read and night sky blue.
They had even built a platform to which I walked upon in one straight direction to the stage where Veldore stood. So the masses of people below where kept a level under and could not reach out for me. How they had done such a thing in so little time... It baffled me...
I kept my eyes to the floor, praying my attire was not somehow faulty, or I was not walking in the wrong direction, or even the wrong fashion.
When I finally stood where I was previously told to stay put, I looked up. The sight that met my eyes almost made my heart jump out of its holding cell.
Veldore stood securely in the platform small steps above me, as breathtaking as ever, one could not help but gasp.
His own white robes where cut short just above his elbows where a similar string of material wrapped around. They folded neatly over his virile chest and pressed on the sides of his powerful masculine shoulders. His hair was folded back behind his eyes in long wavy strands and his chin was shaven to pin length.
My eyes wondered up to his own cast down upon me, long eyelashes shadowing the look of strangled lust as he too ransacked my own body hungrily.
I was then hurried up the steps and onto the stage as I anticipated, and positioned in front of him as two lightly dressed women made sure I put my body in the correct stance and stood at my side ready to pounce on me if I decided to throw my life out of the window and run.
"Keep your left arm behind your back, bent, like this." He said, bending my left arm behind my back at a right angle so it was horizontal against my spine. "And your right similarly so in front."
The ceremonials voice rang through my head as I hastily straightened out my arms in the odd position.
I watched out of the corner of my eye as the old and rather rugged looking nuptiasus (wedding procurer) began to recite the vows of marking.
"Simul occurrunt,
simul manere.
Alligata est luna,
tam in nocte quam in die."
He began, from verse one, in a voice that had no doubt the power to surprise more than a few at it's power.
"Vinctos in aeternum,
ad cor, et ad eius.
Munus a se diis,
Osculum aeternum.
Et tempora, et in maledictum , benedictum,
in divitiis aut pannosam.
Vinculo in aeternum,
et aeterna est vinculum."
I shivered at my growing acknowledgment of the presence behind me as my mate stepped a small bit forward, his eyes no doubt on my neck. I suddenly felt very vulnerable, the clothes giving so much leeway and free access to my body it made me feel oddly embarrassed.
Even more so I felt my face flush a silent red as his body pressed up against my own and I felt the his lavishly shaped torso curling over my own rather elfish slender one. My arm pressing into Veldore's warm wall of muscle.
His broad shoulders seemed to slouch a little over me, as though he could feel the tension in the air and was getting ready to simply envelope me and hide me from sight. Which in the given situation I would love him to do so.
When the nuptiasus finished the last line, the woman at either side of me pulled my neck to the side and let my arms free for me to move them back down to my side I had been taught earlier.
My breathing sped up tenfold.
I dropped my arms elegantly to my side.
Keep your eyes open.
Do not move.
Eyes open.
Relaxed and rigid.
I forced myself to relax.
Calm, calm, calm, think of the moon.
Then I felt Veldore press up against me once again. His head bent over my neck, pulled to my right to give him space. He brushed small strands of my ever rebellious hair away from the space of my neck.
And he his mouth fell open and he fell forward. The sound of tear rearing as he made for my neck.
And in that moment everything I had told myself and had been told was forgotten. I tensed, I clenched my eyes tightly shut, and worst of all... I flinched away, ever so slightly, so no one but Veldore could have noticed the error in my ways.
My blood rushed from my body as I felt him pause and my eyes fell wide open in fear.
I gasped as his teeth tucked themselves into my neck like a blanket of sorts. I felt his fangs moving deeper and deeper in my neck. The breath was caught inside my throat as my entire body seemed to burn in agony for what seemed mere seconds before I caught onto what the ceremonials had been telling me of before.
Lust.
So drug like.
As though there was a deadly but impossibly pleasurable venom on coating his fangs.
My lips burned on me and sweet began to sheen on my face and arms. Keeping my eyes open was now more than a chore, it was almost impossible. I knew if I gave into the pleasure I would simply melt there and then on the stage midst everyone.
And then everything dissipated.
All my pain, my anger, my embarrassment and humiliation. Bad memories where visibly being sucked of negative emotion.
Small flashbacks crossed my mind and fleeting seconds as all my worst memories, my most daunting, hurtful, torturous memories lost the reason they truly stuck.
I saw myself being beaten with sticks, and stoned, being reprimanded for crying.
Then myself in the garden, a mere child, a spade in my callused, red hands, three times bigger than my own tiny body.
Myself hobbling along the street in rags as my sisters laughed at me.
My father bashing my head under water, for a reason I could never remember. I could see the bubbles rise to the top of the clear yet boiling water. I could see in detail how the blood from my injured head burst like deadly red spoke and proceeded to curl on upwards.
My sisters when they collared me and roped me to the neighbours tree.
The endless nights I stayed in and worked, with broken fingers and rough, splintered skin, washing, cooking, and serving those who presented themselves to me as family.
But I saw them, almost from a third point of view. In a detail no eye could pick up. Never from my own set and almost without emotion but a strong sense of contemptativeness.
My mind was washed clean.
I wasn't even aware as he pulled out of my now somewhat numbed neck and I was still slightly out of it as he carried me back down the aisle, as the music played and flowers and herbs of all kinds and colors came flying to the floor at our feet.
I felt the warmth of his body shaping itself around me and inhaled the sweet mild smell of cinnamon from his white robes that clung to him through his own subtle layer of damp.
I hugged closer and I felt his heart beat, as my own, speeding up erratically.
He looked down at me and I almost didn't dare to look back. But I did. His eyes where black, the whites of his eyes gleaming.
As he carried me from the hall leaving the guests to the celebration in fast steps that could only be considered desperation. I knew. Here was a man who wanted me as I wanted him.