"Since when was there a fucking wall here?" Jay mumbled in his sleep when he rolled over and felt something hard against his back. It felt like it was covered with some cloth? Was it linen? Or satin? Hard to tell.
But then the wall moved.
And Jay felt skin against his bare back.
He tore his eyes open and turned back, to find a boy, a couple of years younger than he was, fast asleep in his sheets.
His insides tied up in a knot as he screamed, "what the fuck are you doing here, who are you?!"
The boy woke up with a start and analysed Jay. He seemed to be completely unaffected by the fact that Jay was shirtless, which was strange.
"You asked for me. I'm literally here to just "satisfy your need of love"," the boy yawned, using extreme sarcasm in the last phrase as if he was quoting patronising words that had once been used to overpower him.
After a while of scanning the boy next to him, he ran his fingers through his black hair and said nothing but "damn".
The boy picked at his wispy white shirt and rolled his eyes. "So, judging from past experience, let me take a guess. You don't want real love. You're really just a picky, needy little shit who thinks sex and love are the same things, and you also just want a significant other to show off as a trophy, with no actual feelings behind our interactions. Am I right or am I right?"
Jay was astonished by these venom-like words hurled at him. He was speechless, which in turn ended up making him open and close his mouth a few times in a failed search of words — it really made him resemble a goldfish.
Eventually, the boy in the shirt — dandelion boy, as Jay had termed him — scoffed, "thought so. Hi, I'm Jungwon, your sex-doll-trophy hybrid." He gently picked himself up off the bed and walked out of the bedroom door.
What the actual fuck?
Jay, too stunned to even move, sat as still as a stone sculpture processing Jungwon's words.
As soon as he regained his composure, he darted after Jungwon whom he found on the balcony, staring at the city. His eyes wandered and saw just a sliver of a field of white flowers. Probably the dandelions Jay wished on. He made a mental note to go explore it sometime.
"Listen, Jungwon," he let out, drizzled with a sigh, "I've never been in love before. I don't want to exploit you by using you for just sex either. I won't wear you on my sleeve to just show you off. I just want you to teach me to love."
It was clear that this boy had gone through a difficult past, and that he'd been made to do this so many times before that it had become a chore.
Imagine love being a chore. Painful, right?
With arms crossed over his chest, Jungwon turned around to face Jay who now had put on a grey t-shirt. "Whatever, I don't believe you. I'm stuck here anyway, so I can't do anything about it whether I like it or not."
He was stuck here?
Meaning... he'd stay with Jay all the time?
"Wait so you'll just sit here at home while I go to college and all?"
Jungwon opened his mouth in frustration, ready to yell at Jay. Instead, he took a deep breath and said, "No, I'm going to go to college with you and do law."
"You're going to study law?"
"I mean it's really useless, but I need it to blend into your life. I already know the entire syllabus for the next five years. But still. You called me here so I have loads of work to do now."
Jay began to silently whip up breakfast for himself and Jungwon.
There was no denying it; though they had a pretty vile first meeting, Jay's heart was completely overcome by love for his dandelion boy.
His dandelion boy?
I suppose so.
Jay was zipping through an emotional rollercoaster; he was satisfied after a long time. But he also felt like he had to prove to Jungwon that he wasn't like the people who had mistreated him.
And how the fuck was he going to do that?
He watched Jungwon as the latter gazed at the city below him. His black hair looked so soft as it occasionally got tousled by the wind. His shirt was like a veil draped over him in the most precariously careless way possible. His black pants added a certain definition to his long legs. He was shorter than Jay, but not by a lot. His long fingers had little rings on them with intricate carvings and shapes. His ears were delicately decorated with tiny earrings and studs. He was ethereal.
Jungwon and Jay ate their breakfast of kimchi toast with Jay asking questions and Jungwon answering him.
"So... how exactly did you get here?"
"You wished on the right flower. Many people like you yearn for love but are unable to find it for whatever reason. But when they wish on any flower from this particular list, the "noble forces" come together to grant your wish and send one of us to you."
"So there are more people like you?"
"Hundreds. And our sole purpose is to just satisfy you and get nothing in return."
Jay wanted to ask why Jungwon had this attitude towards love.
"But you said 'judging from past experience' earlier... do you not stay forever when you're sent?"
At this, Jungwon forced a laugh and looked away, letting his eyes wander outside the large french window.
"Thing is, if we die, we go back up. There are no remains of our body, and you even forget we ever existed, because all evidence of us ever being here gets destroyed. We get erased out of photos and our clothes, shoes, and accessories; everything disappears. But you'll feel satisfied as if you've loved enough."
"So... you've lived many lives before?"
"Technically, yes. Very short lives, though."
Jungwon said no more, but it was pretty clear what he meant.
"Did you..." Jay held back for a moment but blurted out the words he didn't want to say anyway. "Did you die on purpose?"
"That's a funny way to put it. Yes, yes I did."
"Why?"
Jungwon exhaled sharply. "Do you ever stop asking questions?"
"No," Jay retorted, eyeing Jungwon with scrutiny in his eyes.
"You really can't make connections, can you? I've told you practically everything, and I'm not going to repeat myself."
A heavy silence hung in the air, suffocating both boys, reaching inside, twisting their airways and strangling them. They ate the rest of their meals without so much as looking at each other. When they finished, Jay took both plates and went to put them in the sink.
Jungwon, as soon as breakfast was over, walked back into the balcony to stare again at the busy Saturday morning city.
"What the fuck are you doing?" A familiar voice whispered in Jungwon's ear, sending shivers down the length of his spine.
Jungwon's neck snapped around to where the voice came from. He saw a tall person in a white cloak; Dalhyun, his boss.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked. He was the only person that had the nerve to talk to Dalhyun like that, and it was because he'd been in the business for literal ages. The boss lady didn't show her face, but underneath her white cloak, anger knitted her brows.
"You do know that I'm watching your every move. Right?"
"Yeah."
"Stop being such a bitch to him. Please throw your fucking attitude out and be nice," she growled through gritted teeth, prodding Jungwon's sternum with a long, accusatory index finger. Though she knew Jungwon's idea of 'nice' was far from the conventional idea, she hoped, no, she knew that she would be able to scare Jungwon into obeying her.
"I don't want to do this," the boy whined, shooting daggers at Dalhyun with his eyes.
"I don't care. Show him you love him. Because you know you do love him. Why is it that you're such a softie up there with me but you get all 'I'm a bitch, don't touch me' on Earth?"
"Because life is so much simpler up there. I've lived on earth seven times and only twice have I lived fully and died of natural causes that are not gravity and blood. That's because I met the right person only twice."
"And you wanted to escape so you slit your wrists the other five times?"
To this, Jungwon didn't answer. He simply lifted the fabric of his shirt at the wrists and traced his gashes with his thumb, wincing while thinking back on the times he hated to remember.
"Mm," Dalhyun hummed as she held Jungwon close to her chest and wrapped her arms around him. "Please, Jungwon. Remember that not all of them actually hurt you. As much as you hate to hear this, it was in your head."
"I know, Dalhyun. I know. But, as I said, I've done this seven times. I've lost hope in love at this point."
Dalhyun, being the insightful motherly figure she was, tried one last time to coax Jungwon into staying. "I'll tell you what, let's make a deal. You try this guy out, alright? I'm pretty sure he's not an ass. And if he steps out of line once, you have my permission to come back. What do you say?"
Jungwon eyed Dalhyun's white figure while processing the honey-laced words that left her crimson lips. "Alright. I accept. Don't take it back, or I swear I'll run away from home."
"Done." The woman stretched her hand out for Jungwon to shake, and the latter took it firmly in his.
"I'm going to leave now. Don't fuck up your life," Dalhyun called as she backflipped off the railing and her broad, six-foot-tall frame disappeared into thin air.
"I'll certainly try my best," Jungwon rolled his eyes and mumbled, rubbing his forehead.
Jay, on the other hand, retreated to his room to finish his truckload of homework. He wanted to hug Jungwon and tell him that he wasn't like those assholes that abused him, though he didn't know the full story. He was distraught. He fell so deeply in love for the first time with someone who seemed to hate the idea of love.
Jay dropped his pen and his head fell into his hands. Tears began pooling in the wells of his eyes.
That's when Jungwon walked into the room.
Cautiously, he walked toward Jay and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"...I'm sorry."
Jay felt butterflies, no scratch that, he felt a whole fucking zoo on drugs stampeding around in the pit of his stomach. He looked up at Jungwon who looked awkwardly away.
"That's... that's alright. Jungwon, though I don't know your story, I can take a pretty good guess. I won't treat you like the others did. I promise you that. Just give me a chance."
As much as he wanted to be, Jungwon wasn't convinced. It's true, what he had told Dalhyun: he had lost hope in love.
"Alright," he lied through his teeth.
Fucking liar, he thought to himself.
finallyyyyy! this is out, and it feels great to see it here ^-^ please give some love here huhuhu