Y/N'S POV :
"BTS sensation Kim Taehyung, known for his surprises, returned to the music scene after a quiet period since his birthday. In an unexpected move, he dropped a viral track eagerly anticipated by the BTS army to be in charts, breaking from his usual practice of teasing releases. Here's a glimpse of the lyrics."
Every noise in the cafe seemed to die down as the highlights running on the TV screen caught my eyes.
A lady was reading all the spicy things happening in the TV industry. When I heard Taehyung's name everything dropped down. It was around 2 in the afternoon and I stood there with my eyes stuck to the screen. And a melody soon entered my ears.
In a world of colors, I found my hue,
Lost in melodies, searching for what's true.
Amidst the chaos, fame's blinding glow,
I discovered something I didn't know.
On the stage, under those bright lights,
I'd shine for fans, through countless nights.
But beneath the cheers and the grand façade,
Lies a story, my baby, of a love untold
The lyrics were so Taehyung when the song started but when I realised what it was about my hands shaken. When the song stopped. They only played the first verse and took my phone out to heard the full song.
Why Taehyung has these urges to write about everything happening in his life!
It's been almost 4 days since I told Taehim about him.
And now he's even releasing tracks about it.
They met two time after that,one late night when he came and other one in the cafe only.
Taehim has started developing a liking towards him.
But doing all this is only going to make it harder for him I think.
I played the song again and his voice melted in my ears.
In a world of colors, I found my hue,
Lost in melodies, searching for what's true.
Amidst the chaos, fame's blinding glow,
I discovered something I didn't know.
On the stage, under those bright lights,
I'd shine for fans, through countless nights.
But beneath the cheers and the grand façade,
Lies a story, my baby, of a love untold.
In the whirlwind of success, I'd roam,
But it's your smile, my baby, that's my home.
Late nights, distant flights, the endless sea,
Yet your love, my joy, it's what sets me free.
I pen these words with heartfelt grace,
To share with you, my baby, this warm embrace.
In your journey, I'll stand by your side,
Through every storm, as your love abides.
And your mother, my love, by my side,
She's the reason I'm filled with pride.
For in her eyes, my world found its place,
In her love, my baby, there's boundless grace.
As the music fades and the crowds disperse,
It's your presence, my baby, that's my universe.
Through this song, I share my love with you,
For all the dreams and adventures we'll pursue.
You, my little star, in a world so wide,
In your laughter and your eyes, I found my guide.
As you turned four, my heart took flight,
You were my purpose, my source of light.
In this song, my love for you takes flight,
In every note, in every word, it's right.
You're the reason I exist, my love is profound,
My baby, together, in love, we're forever bound.
I needed somewhere to sit till the song ended and my throat felt tightness building in it when my phone dinged with a message.
FROM BARBIE
"Did you listen to the song? I don't think you'll be able to live in your home once people come to know that KIM TAEHYUNG'S baby lives here. What is Taehyung doing? I really think you should talk to him if you don't wanna make things worse."
TO BARBIE
"Yep I'll talk to him"
And that was when I texted Taehyung that I wanted to meet him. And he agreed to come home by the evening. I kept the phone aside and took a deep breath before palming my face thinking what life might turn out to be if someone ever comes to know about Who Taehim is. Our lives will be destroyed,the mirage I've made for my baby and me in the 2BHK house I own.
That we are safe here...
That nobody can kick us out of this house whenever they want to in the middle of the night.
It all will be changed...
I would again have to wrap my whole life in a stupid suitcase and leave...
And all I know as a 28 year old woman right now is... I don't want anything in my life but just stability.
And peace of mind....
I'm gonna clear things out with Taehyung tonight before it starts strangling my own throat.
These thoughts ran restlessly in my mind when I felt two palms running in my shoulders massaging my neck. It broke the trance of my thoughts when I looked up and saw Mike smiling at me.
"What happened Precious?" He asked running his hands through my shoulders.
"I don't think I should load you with my shit right now, you're probably having a hard time by yourself." I said when he chuckled.
"No,I'm not. My mother just called me for an hour telling me how unsuccessful I am compared to my cousins nothing else" He chuckled and I gave him a little laugh.
"Tell me what is it?" He asked and I looked at him.
"I don't know this whole Taehyung thing is messing me up totally like the earlier times." I told him the truth as he sat on the chair infront of me.
"Just tell him what you want precious. I know it's gonna be hard but it's for the best" He took my hands in his palms.
"He isn't going anywhere away without Taehim. I can still read those eyes and I know that"I said when his thumbs ran over my wrists.
"Precious do you still love him?" I saw a building insecurity in his eyes and as much as Mike tried to remove it just didn't go.
"I don't know Mike,I don't know. If love costs what it does the last time then don't,I don't love him at all. I just want him gone like he was till now. Till the time Taehim didn't know about him it was still bearable for him. But now when he knows I can't let him spend so much time with him,I can't give Taehim false hopes and then shatter them all when I tell him that he has left, just like four years ago. I can't go through all that again. And let Taehim suffer."I spoke till I get out of breathes.
"Breathe" Mike took a deep breathe himself before going to the fridge and bringing a water bottle to me as I sipped onto it when he cleared his throat before killing the silence.
"Precious, you should talk to him about your intentions. Let him know how you feel and what's been going on. Remember, he's Taehim's father, and as far as I know, he didn't even know about his existence in this world." Mike said as I listened to him.
"What you did, hiding the truth, that's not right either. Keeping secrets is like lying. Think about it from his perspective. He's just found out about something he had no idea about, and he's probably going through a lot too. He might be suffering even more because you had those four years with Taehim, but he didn't." Mike's voice helped calm my anxiety.
"I'll look into I just don't know how to... But I guess I have to figure this out" I said huffing a sigh.
"Yes and I know you can do that." He patted my head softly and I smiled.
"Thank you" I said smiling to him.
"No worries I'm always here for you and Taehim" He smiled and I hugged him.
We came out of each other's embrace and we bid goodbye as he went to his shop again and I went back to work. It was almost evening when I told Sia and Chris that I'm gonna take off and they can close the cafe at 8. I walked to my home while picking Taehim from the daycare. I held him up in my arms and he was happy after meeting his friends after a long time. It helps him engage in such great activities like drawing, playing and interacting with different people in his daycare. I always make sure that he attends it once or twice in a week after school.
"Mumma,I won the first prize in the drawing competition." He said and I smiled.
"That's very good baby congratulations." I said and he smiled.
"Mumma can I ask for a gift?" He asked and I nodded.
"Yes sure" I said as we walked.
"Can I have a pet for myself?" He asked and I chuckled.
"What? But why?" I asked as he kept on talking.
"Mumma I like kittens and puppies. They're cute I wanna take care of a pet , I'm a big boy now" He said and I laughed.
"Tae baby you know that pets feel lonely sometimes when they're left behind. You sure you wanna make them feel that way?" I asked when Taehim's face left it's sparkle.
"Then I don't want them mumma. Because there's only me and you in home and I can't take him to school with me" He said and I kissed him.
"And maybe we can get one when you turn ten?" I smiled and he gave me the smile back.
"Okay Mumma,I love you" He kissed me as we reached home and I unlocked the door.
"Tae,baby I've invited Winter Bear for an evening coffee and dinner. You are okay with that ,right? He would love to come for dinner as you won first prize in the competition." I asked unbuckling his shoes.
"Yes,I'm okay and I like Winter Bear mumma" He said and ran inside the living area.
After changing Taehim's clothes,I took a quick hot shower, standing infront of my closet while wearing the bathrobe my hands almost went to pick my PJ's even before I realised I was wearing a white coloured cotton flared dress of mine that ended just above my knees. I went to the dresser and left my hair lose open after applying a little tint to my lips. And I heard the doorbell rang once and Taehim walked in.
"Mumma someone's at the door." He said and I picked him up in my arms as we walked to the door opening it and there was Taehyung on the other side of the door.
I gave him a smile before he took Taehim from my arms to his. They started talking and Taehim told him about how his days at daycare usually go. I went to the kitchen and made strawberry smoothies for us. Pouring them I came back while Taehim was puppies with Taehyung.I kept the drinks and Taehim went busy sipping onto the drinks.
"What was that you wanted to talk about?"Taehyung blankly stared at the TV screen which was off right now.
"I'll tell you in a while"I gave him the glass when Taehim observed me briefly.
"Mumma why are you all dressed up? Are we going somewhere? You look really beautiful." Taehim kind of exposed me to Taehyung that I was dressed specially.
"It's nothing,I just took a shower." I said when Taehim again started sipping the drink from the straw.
I guess we won't be able to talk with Taehim being here.
"I have to make a phone call. Excuse me" I said walking to the balcony with my phone in my hands.
I called Sia qnd Chris picked up the phone.
"Hey y/n,all good?" He said.
"Yeah everything's fine. Did you guys close up by any chance?" I bit on my nails as I felt awkward asking for a favour.
"No,we are about to" He said.
"Do you have any plans for the night?" I asked and Chris gave me a chuckle.
"Sia has a job interview tomorrow,she's losing her shit over it already. I think I'm just gonna try calm her down after this" He said and I laughed.
"Would you mind keeping Taehim for the next two hours? Please. Mike's busy with his parents otherwise I would have called him." I bit my nails hard .
I never have asked for such a favour from them.
They're kids ,I never wanted to ruin the time of their lives keeping up with Taehim.
But I had no other option today.
"Ofcourse y/n I would love to. I'm just coming to pick him up. You enjoy the night for yourself." He said and we bid goodbye after I told him Thank you.
I walked inside and saw Taehyung showing Taehim pictures of Yeontan in his phone. When I walked and broke the silence.
"You wanna go out with Chris and Sia for the night baby?" I asked and Taehim's face furrowed.
"But I want to stay with winter bear" He said and I took him in my arms.
"You can it's just a matter of an hour or two. After that you'll be here and we'll have dinner. Okay?" I asked and he nodded with a sad face.
"How about ice creams at Baskin Robin's then with Chris and Sia." I said and his eyes twinkled with happiness.
"Yes mumma,I love spending time with Sia she's so beautiful. But Chris is really annoying he tells me I look like a frog who princess Tiana kissed." Taehim said and I laughed.
"No you don't baby, you're so handsome. And Chris only teases you for fun,he loves you so much." I kissed him and heard the doorbell ringing.
I opened the door and saw Chris standing on the other side of the door.
"Hey frog face" Chris took Taehim from my arms as I laughed.
"Mumma see he again did that" Taehim said and I laughed.
"Chris not today sweetie" I said and he nodded smiling.
"Okay,now here'a something for you" I picked my wallet up from my overcoat hanging over the side of the door. I pulled out some cash and gave Chris some bucks.
"Here,have an ice cream with Sia and him. And... there's some more. Take something as a gift for Sia from your side for tomorrow. It's a big day for her... I hope she gets the job" I said and he simply took the money.
"Thank you Y/n it means a lot." He took the money and we waved each other goodbyes before I closed the door and saw Taehyung sitting on the same place he was earlier he just finished the whole smoothie I made.
While I was looking at him our eyes met for a while as I gave him a nod before walking towards the balcony and he got up following me to the place. And we were there,the full moon hanging in the dark staring at the void in our hearts that have made their homes forever in us. As we stood there and Taehyung cleared his throat.
"You look beautiful today."He said tapping his fingers on the steel railing of the balcony.
"Thank you" I said giving his face a glance.
"Taehyung for what I called you here was" I cleared my throat and looked at him.
"I need you to go back. It's only getting worse here" I said when he looked at me.
Okay right now I want to speak and spill a thousands words to you but I'm not doing that.
Because you'll take me as a freak if I did that.
"Okay and? Looks like you have a lot to say. Tell me everything." Taehyung maybe knew that I had so much going on in my mind than what I said.
"I think it's for the best, Taehim is my son afterall he gets attached too easily. I don't want him and you get along and make a bond that's even harder to break than to see. We have to make a way out of this, I feel like it's stuck to my throat and I couldn't speak. It's only you again running in my mind again and again. I don't want anything to happen that way. Sometimes I think I'm open for co - parenting but then it would be too hard because we're living in different nations. But you have to go,you have too. You know Taehim has already started liking you and it won't be long for him to be addicted to you" I blurted out in a breathe when Taehyung held my hands and I took a deep breath
"
Anything else?" He asked and I shook my head staring at the floor. Being instantly embarrassed of why I did that.
"Baby bear" He made me sit on the chair on the balcony.
He crouched down infront of me and I looked at him when he cleared his throat before saying.
"I'm not going anywhere without you" His voice had a tender tone but yet it sounded like an order.
"Tae--"I was cut off by him.
"I need you baby bear,I need you there with me. I would be lying if I say that it's not about Taehim but not completely. I don't only need you with me because of Taehim ,but fir me too. Please let's move on from whatever happened in the past"He said and I huffed a sigh.
"Taehyung you don't understand,I can't do all that. I can't lose myself trying to help you find yourself again" I emphasised the word again.
"Then don't,I swear I have all my shit together now....I've done everything you told me to do in that voice recorder. I'm not at all like the old times baby bear"He held my hands and started drawing circles on it.
"Tae I just can't and it would be unfair to Taehim to make his life move around how we want it to."I tried giving him a thousands lame reasons.
"I will talk to him. I told eomma already,the boys know about all this. Unni knows they will make an environment for him to adapt a living there" He tried convincing me in a thousand ways.
"Taehyung I can't,I can't forget what you did to me...and I will never be able to do that I guess. It's better this way. Please." I took my hands away from his and he looked at me with a blank face.
We stayed there for the next whole hour in silence. Not the silence which was awkward,but a silence which the loudness and noise of all the words we wanted to tell each other but didn't. We stared at dark night and the moon together when the doorbell rang and I knew Taehim was here. I stood up from the chair and was about to walk to the door when Taehyung held me by my wrists.
"Baby bear, people don't live together because they forget...They live together because they forgive" His words melted in my ears when he left his grip over me and I walked to the door.
When Taehim was here the environment already lightened. He talked about a lot of endless things. He kept telling us all the stories and the noises in both mine and Taehyung's heart calmed seeing him this happy.
"Winter bear you know I played a small guitar today on the road with Sia." Taehim told Taehyung while he fed him fruits.
"That's called a ukelili Kimchi and how do you know how to play one?" Taehyung wiped Taehim's mouth as I was finishing my dinner.
Kimchi, what's that now?
"What's Kimchi?" I asked when Taehyung looked at me.
"The nickname I had decided since a long time to give my kid. I thought you remembered that." Taehyung's lips were formed in a smug look.
"We're not calling him that" I announced.
"I never told you to call him that, neither did I ask for any permission from baby bear" Taehyung said as Taehim stood on the couch between us being our refree.
He just didn't have any yellow card in his hands to show flash at our faces right now.
"Enough you both,mumma I like the name Kimchi for me. Winter bear,I would love if call me that when Mumma's not around." Taehim announced and I got from the couch finishing my dinner.
I was washing the dishes when Taehyung came and broke the ice.
"Baby bear, Can I stay here for the night with Taehim." He said and my hands around a glass I was washing tightened.
"No Taehyung...go to your hotel." I said and Taehyung looked at me.
"Why are you acting up like that" He said and I gave him a stern look.
"Because I want you gone,from my life and Taehim's life." I raised my voice.
"It will always be Taehim's decision whom he wants in his life or not" Taehyung said and I looked at him.
"I didn't want to do this but yeah eomma just told me something about this whole advocate things today morning and you know I can anytime file a custody case of Taehim in the court? And have a very higher degree of chances of winning the case." Taehyung's voice irritated me to the core right now as I turned now.
"Not that I would be surprised by that Taehyung... Knowing how much of an asshole you are. I won't be in a shock at all if you do something like that." I said wiping my hands with the kitchen towel before throwing it on his face and walking to the living area.
Taehyung and Taehim bid each other a good bye as Taehyung went back to his place. Closing the door behind him,I straightly went to Taehim in our bedroom,he was still playing blocks when I sat beside him and hugged him tightly.
The tears in my eyes just being on the brim and my throat welling up with emotions..
I'm not letting you go anywhere Taehim...
I will fight everyone,even the glimmer angel.
Maybe even god but I'm not letting you go.
****
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I reached for you, but you were gone
I knew I had to go back home
You searched the world for somethin' else
To make you feel like what we had
And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad...