(Augustus's POV)
The events that happened one hour ago were interesting, Pyrrha came and thought she can get me back as team leader of Team (J)NPR. Unfortunately for her, that will not happen because they stabbed me in the back. I remember the days when I first met the Emperor of Mankind. By God, it was a momentous time for me. It was the moment when I knew what my identity and purpose were, to be one of the Emperor's sons and his loyal Custodian bodyguard. Before my training and body augmentations, the Emperor taught me the history of the universe such as the Old Ones, the ascension of mankind, the Dark Age of Technology, and the Age of Strife. He educated me on the Imperial Truth, and I had to write paragraphs of the ideology. After learning about the history, Constantin Valdor took me under his wing to teach me the Art of War. The sparring was brutal and grueling; I broke several bones, but that did not break my willpower to become a Custodian Guard. Valdor was impressed by my performance for being a normal boy, so he took me to a chamber to have me augmented. I have to admit, the augmentation of my body was the most painful experience that I had ever had. When my body was enlarged, I stepped off the ramped gurney and felt the power surging through my veins. It felt amazing to have such power coursing through my body. The serfs handed me my armor and beloved Guardian Spear. Speaking of which, I sent my spear to Nocturne, the homeworld of the Salamanders, to get it modified. The Salamanders are the best forgers that I know; they know how to make a good weapon. For now, I have to use my zweihander as my temporary melee weapon. Apart from my mental monologue, I look at myself in the mirror, admiring how handsome I am.
Me: Mmmm... Thank the Emperor for allowing me to have this body. *Touches my shoulders then arms* Mmmmm~. So divine~.
Suddenly, an apparition of the Emperor appears behind, then he bonks me on the head with his Prohibition Hammer.
Me: Ow! What the hell, Dad?!
Emperor (Apparition): Cease ridiculously touching your body!
Me: Father, you do the same! Oh, wait! You don't have your ideal body anymore!
Emperor (Apparition): Goddamnit, Augustus! Stop reminding me about my entombment on my throne!
Me: No promises!
The phantom of the Emperor sighs at my comment before disappearing into thin air. I shrug then look at my reflection on the large mirror. Suddenly, I feel arms wrapping around my torso, so I turn to see Cyrene glancing at me with a naughty smile.
Cyrene: Why are you up so late, baby~? *Kisses my back* Muah~. Come back to bed, love~.
Me: I'll be there, Cyrene~.
Cyrene: I need you on the bed now~.
Me: *Sighs* Okay, baby~.
The redhead Farseer drags me back to the bedroom before laying on her bed and posing for me. Cyrene's black lingerie looks so perfect for her petite but somewhat bust body. She puts out her arm then opens her hand as an offering.
Cyrene: Don't keep me waiting, my Mon'keigh~. *Pats the bed* Come here and have a lovely cuddling session with me~.
Me: I'll be your cuddle toy~.
Cyrene: Hmhmhm~.
I join her on the mattress, then Cyrene lays onto my chest and gazes into my blue eyes. She caresses my chest while saying sweet nothings into my ear. In response, I move my right arm down her side then stop on her ass cheek. Cyrene giggles at my naughty action, so she grabs the sides of my head, and we start making out. The Farseer attempts to win the tongue duel, but I counter and become victorious against her. As a prize, I explore her mouth with my tongue, earning a pleasure-filled moan from the Eldar female.
Cyrene: *Parts* Laaaa~. Mmmm~. I want to be fucked again~.
Me: I would fuck again, but the Emperor hit me on the head with his Prohibition Hammer.
Cyrene: The what? Hahaha! Prohibition Hammer? The hell is that?
Me: It's just a hammer that says Restraining Order on the head.
Cyrene: O-Oh... Interesting... *Cuddles* I guess we're just cuddling for the rest of the night.
Me: Hmhmhmhm~. *Pulls the sheets* For now, Cyrene~.
Cyrene: Ara Ara~. *Caresses my face* But let's continue to kiss, lover boy~.
I grant her wish, and we continue to make out under the thick bedsheets. Shortly, our kissing segment transitions to stripping and other inappropriate actions that I will not discuss.
--Timeskip brought to you by a Chibi Valeria slapping Augustus with a rolled-up newspaper--
There is a little bit of trouble at our post in Mountain Glenn. The reports are stating that there are four individuals: a Ravenette wearing a red dress, a grey-haired man, a green-haired dark-skinned woman, and the same pink/brown-haired girl that I battled a few months ago. For this situation, I brought Valeria with me as a backup just in case if shit hits the fan. Just like Kharn taking his Khornate Berserkers to Space Wendy's or some other fast-food restaurants and convenience stores. I wonder how that Khornate bastard is doing...
--Meanwhile in a world being conquered by the Butcherhorde Warband--
(3rd POV)
Kharn: HAHAHAHA!!! KHORNE SMILES UPON US!!! *Raises the head of a Guardsman* FOR THE GLORY OF KHORNE!!!
Unexpectedly, one of his berserkers stabs an insulin shot in his eye while screaming.
Berserker #1: I WILL NOT BE DENIED!!!!!!!!!! *Stabs his eyes* AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another guardsman tries to crawl away from the group, but Kharn grabs his legs before pulling him up to his face and shouting.
Kharn: KHORNE WILL ALWAYS HAVE BLOOD!!! YOURS OR THEIRS!!!
The guard screams for his life, but Kharn starts sawing him in half with Gorechild. Next, Kharn grabs his torso and head before separating the body parts, killing the mortal immediately. The head gets removed along with the spine, then good ol' Kharn puts the guard's head on a hook attached to his pauldron. Suddenly, the second Berserker approaches him and pouts a child.
Berserker #2: Khaaaarrrrrnnnnnn...
Kharn: Uuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Berserker #2: Can we go to Space McDonalds?
Kharn: UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Berserker #2: Pleeeeeeeeaaaasssssseeeeeeeee?
Kharn: Fine! As long as it shuts you up! *Points* Get in the fucking ship!
Berserker #2: Woohoo! We're going to Space McDonalds, boys!
His Berserkers enter the shuttle and he follows the celebrating World Eaters. Kharn orders the pilot to fly to Space McDonalds; the pilot obeys then starts flying, leaving Kharn to sigh with annoyance.
Kharn: *In head* Damn, kids... Complaining... I'd rather be exchanging blows with my arch-rival, Augustus!
--Back on Remnant--
(Augustus's POV)
I think that he's doing just fine on his own and Warband. Besides that little skit, Valeria and I arrive at the scene of the issue. A Black Templar Techmarine points at the directions of the said individuals.
I'm surprised that he didn't build a Thunder Cannon then obliterated them. I guess he wanted to tell me first before going Gung-Ho on the four suspects. Anyway, we approach the tunnel to see the delinquent quartet. A female Ravenette sits on a concrete block, a short man strolls around the floor, the green-haired lady stands close to the Ravenette, and the ice cream-themed girl looks at me with a traumatized expression. She goes to the black-haired woman before tugging on her red dress. The older lady glances at the short stack with a raised brow.
Ravenette: What is it, Neo?
Neo: *Writes on a sign* Cinder, look in front of you.
Cinder: Hm?
She looks up to see me in my full Auramite armor and propping my sword on my shoulder. I bow my head before introducing myself.
Me: Greetings, I am Alpharius.
-Take #2-
Me: IT WAS I! KONO DIO DA!
-Take #3-
Me: Greetings, I am Augustus Aurelius. One of the Brotherhood of Demigods, the Adeptus Custodes. *Gestures to Valeria* My companion is Sister Valeria, a warrior from the Sisters of Silence. Say hello, Valeria.
Valeria puts away her weapon and... Well... Flips out the middle finger. By the Emperor, I need to teach Valeria to quit being indecent to others, including her Sisters.
Green-haired girl: Who do you think you are?! Disrespecting my superior in such a manner!
Cinder: Emerald! Enough! My feelings are not hurt at all, so relax.
Emerald: Y-Yes, ma'am.
Me: *Pats Valeria* I apologize for Valeria's attitude; she's a bit sassy when meeting new people.
Cinder: I see...
Grey-haired man: Um, why is she wearing that grill on her face? Heh, looks like a snowplow for a train.
Cinder: Mercury, watch your mouth, please.
Mercury: *Sighs* Alright. Alright. I'll watch what I say.
Me: Companions, am I right?
Cinder: Heh, you have no idea.
Me: Right, but what is your business here?
Cinder: Oh, we're just passing by the ruins and hopefully can enter the city of Vale. We heard that you and your Imperial Forces have changed the metropolis. I want to see how it looks if that's alright with you.
Valeria and I can sense the bullshit in her sentence, so we unsheath our massive swords before pointing at the quartet. I turn on the electric generator followed by the flamer attachment. The ten-foot sword ignites into an electrical fire, then I enter my combat stance as well as for Valeria. Neo's face turns pale, knowing that they will not win this fight. However, Cinder cocks her head to the left as her amber eyes glow.
Cinder: Dust-infused weapons?
Me: Incorrect, Cinder Fall. *Spins his sword* Way more advanced than those dust-infused weapons. *Looks at Valeria* Darlin'... Take on Neo and Mercury... I'll take on Cinder and Emerald.
My companion nods at my suggestion, so we start approaching our targets. Seeing this, the quartet pulls out their weapons as we walk towards them. Valeria was the first one to charge Neo and Mercury, surprising them with her speed. The redhead body slams Mercury into a crate before going berserk on Neopolitan. While Valeria fights her opponents, Cinder and Emerald pull out their sharp weapons before pouncing onto me. I swing my fiery sword to the left, unleashing a wave of an electrical inferno. Emerald gets struck by the wave, causing her to fly back onto the railroad tracks. The Ravenette swings her obsidian blade down to me, so I counter her with my giant sword. Surprisingly, her sword doesn't break and we have a stalemate for a few moments until Emerald runs toward me with her dual gun-sickles. I use my strength to push Cinder away before pulling out my short sword and clashing her weapon with mine.
Cinder: By Oum, you are fast for a large individual.
Me: I learn from the best, Ms. Fall...
I kick Emerald to the side then bash her face in with the reinforced hilt. The green-haired grunts in pain after getting hit in the face by a hunk of steel. The women stand away from me as I spin my swords; the short power sword electrifies itself, so I throw it at Cinder, who deflects it with ease. I see a small opening in her form, then I swirl my blade again, pointing at her heart. She sees her fatal error and braces herself for death, but she didn't receive the sword in the heart. Cinder opens her eyes to see the tip of my flaming blade, millimeters away from her chest.
Cinder: Huh? Why spare me?
Me: You're in pain...
Cinder: W-What?
Me: *Puts down my sword* In your eyes... I can see a troubled lady in the dark, trying to find a way out. However, the ruinous powers of your Mistress Salem hold you back from reaching your escape. *Kneels* Why join her if you won't have anything in return? What are you trying to achieve?
Cinder: I want power... I want to be feared... I will do anything in my power to achieve that goal. *Looks at me* Without Salem, I am nothing...
Me: You've been with her for years, yet you achieved partial possession of the Fall Maiden's powers.
Cinder: Her powers are rightfully mine!
Me: You almost killed her...
Cinder: To gain power, you must take life!
Me: There's another way of gaining power without killing anyone. That way is training, both mentally and physically. You will no longer suffer-
Cinder: What do you know of suffering?! You're just like those entitled Atlesian soldiers who were spoiled since the day they're born.
Me: That's where you're wrong, Cinder. My uprising to become who I am was a tragic path to take. It was painful, especially during my youth.
Cinder: I'm still unconvinced.
I sigh at the young naive woman before grabbing my helmet and removing it from my head. My bright blonde hair flows down to my neck, then I look at Cinder with my azure eyes.
Me: Do you want to know how I got this position?
Cinder: Very well... *Leans on a pillar* Tell me how you became this warrior.
Before I can tell her my story, Mercury and Neo collide into a steel wall, and their auras are depleted. Valeria spins her sword before glancing at Emerald, who attempts to use her optical illusions to distract my companion. Unfortunately for Sustrai, Valeria sees through her illusion then chokeslams the dark-skinned girl into the ground. Emerald twitches on the concrete, but then Valeria goes down and sits on her belly. The downed woman coughs and grunts in pain, so Valeria knocks her out to shut her up.
Cinder: That's a bit overkill...
Me: Not enough... Anyway, I shall tell the story.
Cinder: Yes, please...
Me: Very well... *Clears my throat* Once upon a time, I was me... After hearing my formal team conspiring against me, I was distraught because I have been betrayed again. My normal calm was compromised to the point that the only reasonable thing I could think to do was to enter the Emerald Forest and kill every Grimm with immense abhorrence.
Cinder: That sounds like a good way to let off some steam after learning that your team was plotting against you.
Me: I was overrun in the process, but then the sisters from the Orders Hospitallers enter the scene before eliminating the threat. They rescued me from the battlefield then nursed me back to health. I woke up on a soft warm bed and realize that I'm in a palace of some sort. I looked outside to see a massive city until the Hospitaller that rescued me entered my room. We have a little exchange of words, and she tells me that we're in Holy Terra. My young mind took in the information for a bit, then she escorts me to the library of the Imperial Palace. That... That is where I met my father, the Emperor of Mankind.
Cinder: The Emperor of Mankind, he sounds like an interesting man.
Me: That's an understatement, Cinder. *Scratches my chin* Additionally, he is a fucking UNIT of a man!
Cinder: Really?
Me: HE IS 14 FEET TALL FOR EMPEROR'S SAKE! HE IS A GIANT PSYKER WHO WIELDS A FIERY SWORD AND UTILIZES HIS LIGHTNING CLAWS!
Cinder: *Ears ringing* Ouch, my ears are ringing... *Shakes her head* Okay, I feel better now. *Clears her throat* Continue your story, and please refrain from yelling in my ears.
Me: I apologize for that inconvenience. Anyway, the Hospitaller left the Emperor and me in the library. We began to talk for a while, and our bond immediately strengthened. He told me to leave my past and look to the future. No longer I was Jaune Arc, for I am hailed as Augustus Aurelius.
Cinder: So, you were knighted?
Me: Yes, I was... The Emperor taught me everything he knows, then Constantin Valdor took me under his wing to train me. The sparring was long and brutal; I broke several brokes, but that didn't break my will to fight. I excelled in my trials, then I was taken to the surgical area in the Palace to receive my augmentations.
Cinder: How did that go?
Me: Painful... Very painful... My body almost rejected the new organs, but I tanked through the grueling process. After my upgrades, I felt like a new man. My reflexes and strength increased, but my mental prowess is top-notch. From there on, I was given my golden Auramite and my beloved Guardian Spear. *Gestures* But my spear is in a Death World called Nocturne, being upgraded by the Salamanders Space Marine chapter.
Cinder: I see... I must look into this... Chapter...
Me: You'll enjoy them, Ms. Fall. They're pretty nice Astartes, besides the Lamenters, and they love setting things on fire. *Gestures to her* And I know that you love fire considering that you're wearing a red dress fused with fire dust.
Cinder: O-Oh... I guess can get along with them.
Me: Indeed... But in conclusion... Will you and your accomplices continue to follow a delusional and genocidal Queen, or will you join me? Pick wisely, madam... On one side, you will continue to be an infamous criminal and gain nothing. As for the other, you will be redeemed then become a helpful asset to a glorious empire. What will you choose?
Before she can say anything, I feel a difference in the air, then my hand pushes Fall to the other side. Several bullets ricochet from my armor, then I turn around to see two men. A crazed Scorpion Faunas and a tall man wearing green; Cinder looks at them then gasps.
Cinder: Tyrian! Hazel?! I thought you were in Mistral!
Hazel: We came here to make sure you will not fail; it's Salem's orders.
Cinder: She dares doubt me?! I will never fail her!
Tyrian: Prove it then! Kill that bastard!
She contemplates for a few moments, then I look back at her and mentally tell her about her choices. Cinder nods before stepping away which infuriates the two men; Hazel throws a piece of metal at me, but Valeria slices that chunk in half. I thank Valeria but order her to stand down. She nods at me and stands next to Cinder, who is still thinking. Tyrian and Hazel rush me intending to kill, so I release my warcry.
I toss my helmet to Valeria then charge them with my fiery sword. Tyrian jumps toward me before falling with his claws pointing to my head. In response, I swing and hit Tyrian with my massive sword. He gets launched to the other side of the tunnel, then his body catches on fire. Tyrian panics and tries to put it out by running around like an idiot; Hazel goes to body slam me, but I weigh more than him. I lean forward and body slams him, dazing the 8' tall man with my Imperial might. My opportunity is open as I slash his body from head to toe. His aura is depleted within an instant, and he falls onto the ground. Hazel attempts to stand, but his body ignites into massive flames. As he burns, Tyrian puts himself out by diving into a crate full of water. I approach the crate before turning off the flamer and activating the electric generator. When he steps out from the barrel, I swipe my sword to the right, sending a wave of lightning in his direction. Tyrian didn't react in time as he got hit by the wave, causing him to shake violently as electricity surged through his body.
Me: I'm not impressed! *Looks around* Salem! Is this the best you can do?! You send two grown-ass men that can't fight for shit! I am disappointed, you heretical witch!
Suddenly, Tyrian and Hazel get teleported away and a shadow appears on the floor as Salem emerges from the depths. She is furious at me for nearly killing her lackeys and swaying Cinder away from her side.
Salem: You! Augustus! You will pay for this!
Me: Aaawwwww, are you crying? Shall I kiss your boo-boos?
Salem: Enough! I will destroy you and your so-called Imperium!
Me: Tch... Fool...
The pale Queen begins to summon magic in her hands, but she stutters for a moment. She gets confused by this, but then the Grimm Queen begins to feel very uncomfortable. Salem looks to the side to see Valeria walking towards her while holding her Executioner Greatblade.
Salem: Wha... What the... What is going on?! I can't use my magic!
Valeria: *Mute smugness*
Me: Hahahaha... Say hello to Sister Valeria, one of the Sisters of Silence. She is a blank, a soulless being who can make psykers go mad.
Salem: That's nonsense!
The Queen of Grimm shoots lightning bolts from her hands, but Valeria deflects them with several swipes of her sword. Once Valeria is in close quarters with the heretic, the Sister of Silence sheathes her sword before grabbing Salem's shoulder and bitch-slapping her across the face. Salem stands there stunned with her hand on her cheek, and she looks at Valeria with a shocked expression.
Salem: Did... Did you just slap me? *Valeria slaps again* You dare?!
Me: *Facepalms then laughs* Hahahahaha! Salem, you just got bitch-slapped... Hahahahaha!
Furious with Valeria's antics, Salem unleashes a stream of lightning from her fingers. However, the blue stream arches over Valeria's head and strikes the floor. The redhead smiles with amusement then slap Salem across the face for the third time.
Salem: Agh! That's it! That's enough! I will be back, and I will unleash the apocalypse!
Without another word, Salem teleports away from the scene. Valeria rubs her hands then looks at me with a smile. I give her a thumbs up and look at Cinder, who is stunned at our combat performance.
Me: Well, Cinder? What do you think?
Cinder: I... I will follow you...
Me: Excellent choice... *Looks at Valeria* C'mon, Valeria... Let's get her comrades out of here, we're back home.
Valeria obeys my order before we pick up Cinder's accomplices and leave the area. We exit the Mountain Glenn via Thunderhawk, then I start to wonder after seeing Valeria being immune to Salem's attacks. Since she is a blank, how many Sisters of Silence will it take to defeat her? Hopefully, Knight-Commander Jenetia Krole wouldn't mind if I ask if she can lend me more soldiers.
To be Continued