💜I'm also the writer of "Paanee." This book came before it. There are some similarities, but they are nowhere near completely the same. This book is also longer. Enjoy!💜
"It's not a humming bird in my chest, that would be too soft; it's a wood pecker."
Hebrew
I point at the clouds above me and trace them with my finger.
Today... was the worse; the love of my life was just proposed to. Literally then...
"The love of my life just invited me to his wedding," I laugh.
A tear rolls down my face.
Real niggas cry; so what?
"Ouch!" I sit up and rest my palms on the ground.
I stand and try to walk off my cramp. My walking turns to stomping real mufuckin fast.
"Shit a nigga just can't even be," I walk towards the swamp, all mad.
I sit on a log, then rest my fist in my palm.
Hope a gator eat my ass.
I look up and cross my arms while tucking my lips in to suck up my tears.
I'm simpin.
I notice a butterfly on its side. My body relaxes a bit.
It's struggling... it's dying.
"I stomped you?" I pick it up and hold it in my hands.
Damn.
The situation itself pulls and tugs on my mind in different ways.
"I fuckin stomped you? You're dying and I feel like dying... you're actually dying. Pretty beau," I watch it die.
Look on the bright side.
I scoff at my own thoughts and cup the butterfly in my hands to suffocate it and put it out of its misery. I stay locked up until the fluttering stops.
"I wish there was a bright side," I say, almost apologetically.
I curl up and wish the tiny butterfly soul the best in its next life.
"I wish there were bright sides," I mutter.
"There is," I hear.
Wind gusts around my body. I jump up and look around me.
"What in the whole wide world!" I question, scared as a bitch.
There's nothing.
What the fuck? This hooch then waiters was passin out got me buggin out.
The sun gets real bright and starts beating down on me... I noticed my hands aren't cupped anymore.
"Oh no. Butterfly; we gotta bury you g," I look around for it.
I spot it and try to pick it up; when I do it takes flight.
"What... the fuck?"
A rainbow in the sky catches my attention.
Dayummm. Out of nowhere. It didn't even rain? It's not even humid today.
"Wow..." I say.
I'm mesmerized.
Wait...?
"Weren't you just dead as a door knob lil g?" I say to the fluttering butterfly with my hand held out.
It lands on my finger. I smile a genuine smile and feel a little fullness in my heart for the first time in a long time.
"You're welcome," I hear again.
I get so scared, I almost jump outa my skin; The butterfly takes flight again, but hovers in the air. I stumble while looking around, then fall over.
"What the fuck was in that booz yo? I'm off a bean or sumn? Butterflies talk? Oh shit, they finna lock my loony ass up."
"It's not Butterfly, it's me," I hear.
I look around.
I'm bugging.
I stand up. My boots sink in the mud.
What?
"You're ungrateful. You could be a dead Butterfly. There's more to be grateful for," I hear in the same voice.
I go up to the vibrant bush by the muck. There's random pendants and precious jewels hidden in the wild grass. They grab my attention.
"Those are mine," I hear seconds before I'm about to grab one.
I pull my hand back and step pass the jewels.
This is a dream. It has to be.
I reach out and touch the bush's leaves. They're sturdy, but soft and covered with fuzz.
"Hello?" I ask.
If I wasn't half scared, I would be laughing at myself. Bushes don't talk dummy.
Wind blows through my shirt. I close my eyes in surprise, but keep my hand on the soft leaves.
"You're welcome, but who gave you permission to touch my things or my leaves?"
Unknown
His eyes grow wide. I stare at him, waiting for him to express his gratitude for relieving him of his guilty conscious.
He killed Butterfly.
He touches me again.
"Hey," I say to stop him.
Does he not know that's disrespectful? I haven't scolded anyone in a long time.
His pupils shake and his lips part. His eye scan my essence.
He moves his hair out of his face and leans into me. I freeze and let my lips touch his by default.
Lips? I am a bush. How could I morph against my will?
I've never...
Hebrew
He falls down in the muck and looks at me in fear. I step towards him, but stop.
He's nearly nude. Leaves cover his front.
"You're so angelic. You're feeding my soul," I express without even puttin in much effort for real.
His eyes flash a purple color. He puts his hand on his chest and looks at me in discomfort.
Are you-
"Are you okay?" I ask, concerned.
"This is not what I thought this would feel like. This is what I know anxiety to be. It's not a humming bird in my chest, that would be too soft; it's a wood pecker," he scrambles anxiously.
I look at him confused. His beautiful skin is covered in mud.
"Your heart?" I ask.
His heart is racing?
"Your heart never raced before?" I ask without trying.
"Not like this," he scrambles away from me.
"Hebrew! Come back! We gotta get outa here by dark. You gotta death wish? Gators and snakes finna have at yo ass!"
I look over at the tree line then back at-
Him?
I look down at the purple bush that was there before he showed up.
I feel drawn to it and repelled at the same time now.
"What is happening. I thought this was a..." I reach out to touch it again.
"Hebrew, bring yo ass!"
I look over at my boy Izaak waving his arms at me.
I don't want anyone finding out about this. I mean... people must know? Things were left here?
I back away and start walking towards Izaak.
What happened? I'm so confused.
I finally get to Izaak and try to act as normal as possible.
"Wassup? You look like you seen a ghost?" He asks.
I laugh out awkwardly. It makes him laugh too.
"Let's get outta here man. I'm sick of love," I laugh.
"Oh I know. I knew that when you dipped from the function," he wraps his arm around my shoulder.
I love my friend, but sometimes I wish we weren't friends just because of who he's connected to. He has odd ways, but we're tight still... I guess. It's almost unreal. Realer than this though.
I look back across the field were I once was.
"Hm?" I say to myself.
Izaak slaps my chest.
"You'll be fine. Love will magically appear one day," he says.
Yea... I guess.
"...ironic that you said that," I mumble.
"Huh?" He asks.
"Man whats in this liquor?" I change the conversation.
PCP?
"Huh... corn? Haha, hold your fluid better crybaby," he laughs.
I push him.
"Yeah whatever nigga."
Heyyyy new book. Do not hate me. Ik I have to finish my other books. This has been in the vault for a whileeeee. I'm bored with everything else. Ehhhh. How you feelinggggg. Hmmmm? Y'all know I wanna hear form you guys 😉 just wait until y'all see who Hebrew isss. Also whats should "unknown" name should be? No guarantee ima pick yourrrsss tho. But I'd still appreciate it.
^This is an old ass author's note^
2024 ⬇️
I love my current books. KxM and my One Shots books will not be abandon.
💜I'm also the writer of "Paanee." This book came before it. There are some similarities, but they are nowhere near completely the same. This book is also longer. Enjoy!💜