Ash's dorm room door was open. A smile turned Chris's lip. Even after a long day—Introduction to Business Advertising was only the first in a long line of confusing, frustrating, mind-numbing classes—Chris always felt better walking into Ash's room.
"Hey," Chris knocked on the open door as they stepped through "what's up, weirdos?"
Taking his earbuds out, Ash spun around in his office chair. He smiled. "Hey!"
Sitting at the opposite desk by the door, a large, bespectacled, young man with long, dark hair and a thick, dark beard gave a glance and a nod. Chris patted him on the shoulder as they passed and pulled out the folding chair leaning against the wall. "Whatcha all doing?"
The dorm rooms were all painfully small, especially compared to Rennie's four-room suite. Peter and Ash were both at their desks, under their raised beds, working on their computers. The space was better organized than Chris ever remembered Ash's room being—the organization, he suspected, was an attempt to be a good roommate. With two beds, two desks, two closets, two dressers and two young men crammed into the shoebox space, casual messiness could quickly become a battleground. Chris got the feeling that Ash's roomate, Peter, managed stress with detailed organization; from his game consoles to his neatly arranged role-playing books to his closet of neatly folded black clothes, everything was in its place. Ash was the opposite; mess seemed to accumulate around him. But the reasonably well-managed pile of laundry, stacked books, and lack of empty cans or cups on Ash's side told Chris he was trying.
"Finishing International Studies," Ash answered.
"Sounds thrilling. How's that going?"
Ash scoffed. "Well, to be honest, I don't know what the hell the Assyrian empire is. So I'm not sure how to write an essay about it."
Chris chuckled. Extending a foot, Chris nudged Peter's chair. "Whatchu doing?"
Peter turned a bit, glancing. "Database stuff."
Chris raised their eyebrows. "Is that fun?"
Peter scrunched his lips, his mouth almost disappearing under his thick beard. "No."
Shaking their head, Chris exhaled. "Wow, we're all having fun, huh? Who wants to play Smash?"
Peter turned a bit more. "I'm in."
"Aaaash?" Chris nudged his chair.
"Yeah, I'm in. I just gotta finish this up," he answered.
Turning on the TV and grabbing the controller, Chris started the Nintendo Wii and looked for Super Smash Bros. He only had to shift the folding chair an inch to get a view of the TV, sitting on Ash's dresser. The angle wasn't ideal, but none of the angles in the room really were.
As Peter closed his laptop and swiveled the chair around, Chris handed him a controller. Peter brought an XBOX, PlayStation, and Wii into the dorm, and Chris remembered thinking it was a red flag at first. Lee had always liked gaming too, but Chris couldn't picture her bringing every game system into a small dorm room. But, while it was harder to get a read on the quiet young man in conversation, he seemed to open up when he played video games. When Chris thought about it, Lee was a bit that way too.
After hearing about and reading about perhaps three hundred stories of straight college guys being perverts and abusers, Chris couldn't help but wonder about Ash's roommate. Most straight college guys' expectations of a roommate didn't include a transguy. But Peter barely reacted when Ash told him he was transgender. At first, Ash wondered if Peter even knew what 'transgender' meant. As the weeks went on, Ash and Chris learned that Peter was a man of few words, but he wasn't stupid. He understood, it just didn't affect him.
For the first match, Chris chose Marth, a blue-haired, anime character with a long sword and quick movements, while Peter picked Donkey Kong, the large, slow, but powerful ape that was nearly impossible to knock off the stage. He randomly, and wordlessly, selected computer player characters, too. Chris was glad; playing one-on-one against Peter was nearly impossible, and it was way too obvious when he let Chris or Ash win.
"Hey, did you talk to Rennie today?" Ash asked.
"Yeah, I was over there this morning." Chris didn't take their eyes off the screen. They knew that Ash knew what that meant—that Chris slept over at Rennie's place—but it still felt too weird to say outright. Dating Ash's sister, thankfully, hadn't created any awkward distance, like they feared. They all had fun hanging out together. But Chris knew there were lines—and talking about sleeping with his sister was one of them.
"Are her roommates still being weird?"
Chris frowned. "Yeah."
"Did you ever say anything? To them or to Rennie?"
Shrugging a shoulder, Chris tried to focus on the game and not the lie forming on their lips. "I dunno, it's not a big deal." Relationship problems were another line. Not that Rennie's roommates were really a relationship problem. At least, Chris hoped not. They told Ash that Rennie's roommates didn't like them, but stopped there. They hadn't told Ash about Carly and Madison's habit of misgendering them. Ash would probably confront the two of them, maybe Rennie too, if he knew. And the prospect of that amount of drama—on top of a full class load, which seemed to be getting heavier all the time—was just too much. Still, tip-toeing around the growing number of pitfall-trap topics Chris didn't want to bring up around Ash was unsettling.
Thankfully, Ash didn't press them. "Did she say if she was going home this weekend?" he asked instead.
"No, I can text her though. Are you? Going home?" Chris glanced quickly, barely dodging Donkey Kong's flying haymaker, and making Marth flee to the other side of the platform.
"I..." Ash hesitated. "I dunno. Maybe. I was gonna go to a thing on the floor but..."
"Ah, shit." A well-timed hit from the computer-controlled Pikachu sent Marth flying off the stage, with little hope of recovery. Leaning in, Chris tried to recover, but graceful Marth's flips through the air didn't get close enough. "Fuck."
"I'll avenge you," Peter vowed. Donkey Kong made a B-line for Pikachu.
Scooting the chair back a bit, Ash glanced at the screen. "Did you die?"
"Yeah. Fucking Pikachu." With a wry smile, Chris shook their head. "You gonna play?"
"In a sec. Come here. Have you seen this?" Ash's eyebrows drew in as he studied Chris. That look evaporated the relaxation just starting to form in Chris's chest.
"Seen what?" Chris stood up, leaning in to see Ash's computer.
"This." As he turned back to the screen, the white-blue glow of a Facebook page lit his face. His furrowed brow darkened his eyes as he studied the page. Glancing once more at Ash, Chris scanned the page. The top post caught their eyes first. From the first bit of the paragraph showing, looked like a news story. But it wasn't from any news source Chris had ever heard of.
Lesbian Teacher Fired For Inappropriate Conduct
A lesbian teacher at West Central High School was fired this week after numerous incidents advancing a radical gay agenda in the classroom. Ms. Monica Breiner, a lesbian teaching English and History at West Central High School, was warned repeatedly by administrators to keep to the curriculum, but continued to lecture on her lifestyle and sexual practices. The students, some as young as 14 years old...
Frowning, Chris leaned closer. They'd heard of that incident; it wasn't that far from their own town. But none of the other stories they'd read said Ms. Breiner had been talking about her "sexual practices" to her students. In every story Chris read, it sounded like she'd simply been honest with her students about her marriage to her wife. Their gaze drifted down to the comments—the first of 139.
Disgusting. What did they expect?!!
The media never talks about it but women CAN be abusers too! Thank God they fired her.
When wokey liberal bullshit puts pervurts next to your kids. Fucks sake. NOT IN MY TOWN! OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!
This is what happens when you stray from God.
Chris's heart beat climbed. Their teeth clenched. Sweat sank into their shirt. "The fuck is this shit?"
" 'Our City Standards?' " Ash read the name of the Facebook group slowly, like a strange word he didn't want to learn. "I think it's... I think it's, like, a hate group."
"Yeah. No shit." Chris spoke like they weren't surprised because they wished they weren't. They knew these kinds of assholes were everywhere. But it never made that feeling—that feeling of never being safe, of being hated for existing—any easier or any less shocking. "Why are you looking at this? It's fucking pointless. These people are crazy."
"Dude." Ash looked them in the eye. "This group is in our town."
"What?" Heart beat thumping through their ears, Chris leaned closer.
"Look at this." Ash pointed to another post.
Is there some kind of gay group studnets are making at the highschool? Has anyone heard of this? My daughter said there was a petiton going around to start a gay pride group???
The dread building in Chris's veins plummeted into their stomach. Heather was starting a Pride group. They looked down at the comments.
I heard this too! What is wrong with these kids???? WHERE are their parents???!
This CANNOT happen in our school.
WHAT are we teaching!!! How did this start?
Kids don't get these ideas by themselves. Somebody put this idea in their heads. God protect them.
Someone DID! IT's that flamer that lives in the woods!! This fucking freak lives ALONE with six kids in the middle of nowhere and NO ONE DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT. WHO KNOWS what goes on in that house! IT's like a horror movie!
WHAT?! WHO?! IN OUR TOWN?
I think his name is Ari??? Dont know the last name.
"Oh fuck." The words left in a puff of breath, like Chris got punched in the stomach.
Ash laid a hand on Chris's arm. "I think we should go home this weekend. We have to talk to Ari."
Swallowing what felt like sand, Chris nodded. Ari. They crossed their arms over their chest. Sweat drenched their sleeves. The binder suddenly felt suffocating. Everything felt suffocating. They knew about this. They warned us. Their heart raced. Ari.
...
Author's note;
This is inspired a number of similar stories that I've seen recently of LGBTQ teachers getting sacked for basically... existing? Honestly, full disclosure moment; when I read those types of stories, and when I (unwisely) read the idiotic comments that go along with them, I get the reaction that Chris is having. I don't know where it comes from. I know they're just stories, I know people's stupid comments are just stupid comments. But logical brain and emotional brain don't always mingle amicably, I guess.
I'd like to think that my invented hate comments are over-the-top, but often, they're very tame compared to the actual craziness and hate that homophobes and transphobes spread online. I try to avoid it, but it's hard. I guess its cathartic to put it down here. And I find it so frustrating when people try to justify their hate with "I just don't want it around me!" or "that's just my opinion!" or whatever, so I want to tear into that a bit and show it for what it is (yup, it's bigotry), how it feels to be on the other side of that, and the harm that it can do.
All that said, if this sort of thing gets to you like it gets to me, sometimes you gotta treat yourself to some warm fuzzies, too. I think I mentioned this last time, but I made "Cute, Cozy, Queer Stories" for just that reason. Just nice, heart-warming stories about queer folks. Give it a look if negative comments and peoples' bullshit is getting to you. Also, remember: you are beautiful, the way you love is beautiful, and you deserve happiness and kindness <3