Xavier
She's here.
I don't remember what I was doing before I saw her, but once I did, the world fell away.
I didn't think she'd be here. I didn't even know if she was alive until now, and the knowledge that she's okay causes a weight I didn't know I was carrying to lift off my back.
Something about seeing her across the room is completely overwhelming. It's enough to make my hands shake. All the time I spent trying to forget about her seems wasted, and all the progress I've made in getting her out of my head is undone as soon as I lay eyes on her.
She's captivating, demanding my attention without even being aware of my presence. She's like ice in the desert—beautiful, out-of-place, and tantalizing.
Her formerly split-dyed hair is cut into a choppy bob just below her chin, bleached blonde and dyed light pink. She looks older, due to time or experience or both. Even with the change in appearance, it's not hard to recognize her. Those same blue eyes shine with all the spark I know is in her, and her familiar smile lights up her entire face, making dimples appear on her cheeks. She's underdressed, and I love it. In a sea of tuxes and gowns, she's wearing a black dress with leggings, a jacket, and her dog tags.
Suddenly Janice is looking back at me, and her full lips part in surprise. All I can do is gape as she holds my gaze.
After a moment, she gives me a half-smile and a small wave, which I return.
There's a tap on my arm as my wife pulls me out of Janice's world and into my own.
"Xavier, where'd you go, honey?" Desiree asks, putting a hand on my cheek and angling my head toward her.
"Uh—sorry, I was... I zoned out," I stammer, shaking my head.
"Oh, I'm sorry about him," she sighs to whoever it is we're in conversation with. "He has the world's worst attention span. He's lucky he's so cute." She gives my arm a squeeze and puts her head on my shoulder. "Aren't you, bunny?"
I force a laugh. God, she's annoying in public.
The man talking to us is unimpressed, raising an eyebrow like he's questioning whether the two of us are mentally sound.
I clear my throat. "But, uh, we've completely strayed from our discussion..." I start in an attempt to steer the conversation away from Desiree's pet names.
"Yes, I'm sorry, General, you were saying?" Desiree adds.
He goes back to describing the Zinnans in vivid detail, and I dart my eyes back in Janice's direction, but she's gone.
After an eternity of making miserable small talk with various party guests, Desiree and I are called away to prepare for the ceremony.
At 18:00 sharp, my parents are facing the crowd. I stand behind them with Desiree on one side of me and Katie on the other. The relationship between the two hasn't improved at all. Katie usually likes everyone, but it seems like Desiree is the exception.
The steady chatter in the room fades without my father having to say a word as people notice his commanding presence.
"Distinguished guests, I would first like to welcome you to my home," he begins. All eyes in the room are fixed on him—even the cameras, floating above the crowd to broadcast him on the portscreens, seem to be watching, their red lights blinking as though they're nodding along. "It's an honor to have you all here. This nation can never adequately thank you for what you've done for our Earth. I only wish we could accommodate the entire Space Corps here tonight."
He pauses so the crowd can laugh politely and continues, "My family and I understand that the war's end has not come free of charge, and we recognize and appreciate the sacrifice of our fallen soldiers, for whom we will now have a moment of silence."
Immediately, the room falls silent. I can hear sniffles and quiet, whispered prayers. I frown, staring out at the scattered crowd. They've lost people, seen things I can't even fathom, and it occurs to me how detached my family is from them. They live in the real world, fighting wars, losing friends, and working jobs, while my family lives in the nicest neighborhood in the world, isolated in a massive castle and surrounded by reinforced walls. How is it fair that we govern these people if we treat mourning the dead as a photo op?
"Thank you," my father says, breaking the silence. "We are eternally grateful to those we've lost. Without them, we likely wouldn't be here today." A pause. "But despite our great losses, today is a day to celebrate! Our years-long conflict has finally come to an end, thanks to all of your efforts on Mars. We thank you and we salute you."
One by one, my father calls the former soldiers up. He drapes a medal around each one's neck, shakes their hands, and says, "Thank you for your service."
Most of the soldiers smile, but some give him death glares, presumably the ones who blame us for everything they went through.
When he calls Janice's name, she steps gingerly up to my father, who immediately scowls upon recognizing her.
I start to wonder how she was invited in the first place. Surely my father wouldn't have allowed it if he'd known, so did he know? Either he's testing me, or this is the world's greatest coincidence, facilitated by the fact that apparently my parents don't proofread their guest lists.
Janice holds her head up, maintaining a defiant sort of eye contact with my father. The entire scene plays out within a few seconds, probably going unnoticed by everyone but me. My father's eyes narrow only for a moment before he grins and, voice dripping with venom, says, "Thank you for your service."
Janice shakes his hand with a nod, and even from where I'm standing I can see how hard he squeezes her.
The instant the ceremony is over and the cameras are elsewhere, my father storms away, presumably to fire whoever it was that put Janice's name on the guest list. I smile to myself, enjoying the idea that he could be so upset at his own ignorance. I take his absence as an opportunity to stare some more at Janice during the dinner that follows the ceremony.
At one point, she walks right past my table and glances down at me, her eyes meeting mine for just an instant. I notice her limping, and my heart drops into my stomach. What happened to her?
She passes me again a moment later on her way back to her table, but this time I'm not the only one to notice her. Katie whips her head around, and before I can stop her, she's running at full speed to Janice's table. I stand up abruptly, banging my knees against the table and nearly tripping backwards over my chair.
"I'll—I'll get her. You guys stay here," I exclaim, holding my hands out like they can keep Desiree and my mother seated.
Katie has her arms wrapped around a surprised Janice, whose initial shock quickly morphs into joy.
"Uh—" I croak when I reach Janice's table. It feels so strange to be close to her again. She stares up at me, one arm still around Katie. Next to her sits a girl with a black pixie cut, her lips pressed together so tightly in an effort to repress a smile that her mouth becomes a single line. Both look up at me expectantly, and I realize I've been standing there gaping like a goldfish.
I clear my throat, reminding myself that most people use words to communicate. "Hi."
"Hey," Janice says with a smile.
There's an awkward pause, during which the girl with the pixie cut has to cover her mouth to contain her laugh. Janice gives her a death glare and mumbles something, and the girl nods but doesn't remove her hand.
"Xavier!" Katie exclaims, jumping up to pull on my arm. "Why didn't you tell me Janice was back?"
"I... didn't know."
She turns to Janice. "Where'd you go?"
"I, uh, went off-world for a while," she replies with a small smile.
"Was it fun?"
"No," she laughs.
Katie frowns. "Well... we can have fun now, right? You can come back and we can hang out again!"
Janice glances at me, and I remember that I probably owe her an explanation as to why I didn't talk to her for all those months.
"I don't know," she says.
"Please?" Katie begs. "Xavier's new girlfriend is so boring."
The girl next to Janice bursts out laughing, earning an elbow to the ribs.
"Shut the fuck up, Nita," Janice hisses.
Katie looks up at me, not distracted by the outburst. "She can come stay with us again, right?"
"We'll talk about it. Mom wants you right now, though, okay? Go see Mom," I deflect. "And, uh, if you could not mention that Janice is here, please?"
She nods and hugs Janice again before turning to walk back to our table.
"I missed Katie," Janice murmurs.
There's another moment of painful silence, and each second of it chips away at me.
"I... like your hair," I attempt.
"Thanks," she replies, tugging on a lock of her pink hair. "I've been growing it out."
This confuses me. Her hair is significantly shorter than it was last time I saw her.
The girls seem amused at this, and Nita starts to laugh again.
"Goddammit, Nita." Janice kicks her under the table.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is just too good. I mean, he's such a dork!" I raise an eyebrow at her, and she adds, "Uh, Your Highness. Sorry."
Janice snickers.
"It's fine," I dismiss, suppressing a smile of my own.
"Don't apologize for being right," Janice says with a smirk.
My mother calls my name from our table.
"I, uh, guess I should get back," I mumble. "Are you... still working at the café?"
Janice nods. "Almost every day. Come by next time you decide to slum it."
"Yeah... Well, it was good to see you." I turn to Nita. "And to sort of meet you."
I'm walking back to my table, contemplating the awkward conversation with Janice, when a gunshot rings out through the crowded room.
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Dun dun dun...
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