A month passed, Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away. Although, Alicia missed the calm, fall weather, she didn't mind the cold. It gave Rodney the excuse he needed to hold her. Whenever he drove her back home after a date, he'd stopped the engine and look at her with those chocolate eyes of his. He'd ask her if she was cold before guiding her into the backseat, leaning in and wrapping his arms around her. The radiator in her apartment never warmed her up this good.
They'd stay that way for another hour or so. Talking and laughing, whispering and murmuring, their faces close, until eventually their lips met. In the beginning, she was shy about having make out sessions with him, but they did it so often that it was impossible to be scared about stuff like that for long. Most of the times he was well-mannered, but there were a couple times when his hold over her would tighten and his lips became hungry over hers. At first it was overwhelming and she didn't really understand what was going on, but soon she learned to respond to the fervor within him. Those make out sessions were the hardest to stop.
One bright Saturday morning, Alicia slipped on some tights, her hiking boots, a pullover sweater and her jacket. She grabbed her backpack that she had packed last night and tiptoed out of her apartment.
It was nine a.m. and Rodney and she were doing a day trip to Bear Mountain before it closed for the season. When she got outside, she saw Rodney in his car waiting for her. She waved hello and entered the passenger's seat.
"Good Morning," she said.
"Good Morning," he smiled. "Ready to go?"
She nodded, setting her backpack in the back seat. She started to reach for her seatbelt when she noticed that the engine was off and Rodney was frowning at her.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked.
She glanced at her book bag, "...No, I think I have everything in there—"
"Not that," he said. "Think."
She looked around him and then at her book bag again, but she was coming up short. Rodney narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head. He slumped in his seat, his head falling back, as he let out an exhausted sigh.
"Ugh, I don't think I'll have the energy to drive all the way there. I'm way too tired. I wish I had something to wake me up," he said, extending his cheek towards her.
She grinned at him, leaned in and kissed his cheek.
"Wow! And just like that, I have all the energy in the world," he said, feigning seriousness, "Don't worry, you can count on me to get us there."
"Aye, aye, Popeye," Alicia said.
The engine came to life as Alicia fumbled with connecting her phone to his aux. Rodney cleared out of his parking spot as the car filled with some R&B. As he swerved the car around, Alicia opened a granola bar and took a bite. She cut a chunk off and extended her hand to Rodney's mouth. With his eyes on the road, he opened his mouth and she tossed the piece in.
Not even a block later, they saw that a huge accident was blocking cars from moving forward. There were several ambulances and police cars with caution tape that blocked off the street. A large crowd was behind the tape. Some were gossiping, others were crying and screaming. The car in front of them u-turned around, honking his horn because of the people. Alicia sat up, concerned.
"What do you think happened?" she asked Rodney.
Rodney didn't answer her. Though they couldn't see the street where the accident happened, he couldn't take his eyes off the scene. He was engrossed.
"Rodney?" Alicia called.
He shook his head, "Oh, what? Sorry."
"What do you think could've happened?" she asked.
"I'm not sure. I wish I knew," he answered.
"Harlem could be so scary sometimes..." she said.
Rodney remained silent.
***
When they got to Bear Mountain, they took the rest of the morning to hike around, following the trails and maps. It was easy not to think about what happened earlier because Rodney was with her. Like always, it felt good to be with him.
After hiking through their third trail, Alicia stopped to catch her breath. This one had a steep incline. Rodney stopped too and faced her; she eyed him because he wasn't out of breath at all.
"C'mon, I'll give you a piggy back ride—" Rodney said.
"No, no, I'm fine," Alicia said.
"Oho, look who's the prideful one now. You know we're like 20 minutes away from the car, right? I know you're hungry," Rodney said.
"Shut up," she said and he chuckled. "I said—"
She charged towards him and he sprinted off. Breathing through her lips, she chased after him with a smile on her face, the afternoon light on her skin. He slowed down so that she caught him and as soon as she did, she put him in a headlock and pulled him down to the ground.
"Hey! Let me go," he said.
"Or what?" she asked.
His eyebrows shot up at her audacity and she laughed out loud. Gently, he maneuvered out of her hold and held her down by the wrists.
"You know, I'd rather not wrestle with you when I touch you. There's other things I'd rather do," he said.
"You have no shame," she said.
He bit his lip to keep from smiling and helped her up. She noticed he was chewing something.
"What are you eating?" she asked.
He smiled, "Why? Want some?"
She nodded.
"Come here," he said.
She paused, confused, before going to stand in front of him. He leaned in and kissed her, exchanging what he had in his mouth into hers. He pulled away as she started to chew.
"Grapes?" she asked and he nodded, smiling.
He bended his knees and she climbed onto his back. He continued hiking through the woods with her holding onto him.
When they got to the car, Rodney decided to set up a table for the food they packed. As he set up the table, Alicia returned to his car for the remainder of his belongings. His phone was ringing, but she didn't pay it any mind because it was an unsaved number. When the phone stopped ringing, a couple texts popped up on his screen. Because his phone wasn't locked, she was able to see the messages. Her eyes widened and she snatched the phone off of his seat.
"Why don't you give me a call back, baby? Honestly, I could do things many basic bitches can't do. I know you have others. Look at you. But it's alright, I know you'll want me with this picture I just sent you."
Horrified, Alicia covered her lips as she stared at the woman's picture. The girl was light skin, with dark long hair and a voluptuous body. She was in her bedroom, sitting on her bed in a hot-pink bikini that barely covered her breasts. Her stare for the camera was red hot. It oozed of allure and desire. Alicia felt as though she was about to throw up.
What was going on? This couldn't have been happening.
A hand touched her lower back and she whirled around. Rodney stood, smiling at her.
"What's taking you so long?" he asked.
She only stared at him. Every other girl seemed to think that Rodney could be unfaithful and she was trying not to believe them, but it was hard when she was seeing things like this. She pulled his hand off of her back and stepped away from him, clenching his phone tightly in her hand. Curiously, Rodney met her disgusted stare.
"What...what's wrong?" he asked.
She couldn't talk for fear that her voice would crack. She never did well in situations like these. She just wanted to get away from this place, from him, but he had driven them there here. She could call Maxine, but then she'd have to explain what happened. She looked up at the sky and blinked back tears.
They weren't even together for that long. She felt so stupid.
He stepped up to her, "Why are you crying?"
She covered her eyes.
"Is that my phone...?" he asked.
Carelessly, she tossed it on the ground at his feet, but he didn't pick it up. He seemed worried because of the way she was reacting.
"Alicia...can you please tell me what's going on?" he asked.
She folded her lips and sighed.
"Are you talking to other people?" she asked.
"What? No!" he said.
"Are you sleeping with anyone?" she asked.
"No! What would make you think that? I wouldn't do that to you. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I meant that we would be exclusive. I'm not entertaining anyone else," he said.
"Are you lying to me?" she asked.
"No way—"
"Then who the hell is that?" she asked, pointing at his phone.
He seemed to be confused. He had completely forgotten about his phone laying in the grass. It took him a minute, but then he reached down, unlocked his phone and read his messages. His eyebrows shot up.
"This is a big misunderstanding," he said.
"Who is she?" Alicia asked.
"I don't even know her. I met her that night I went to your apartment and spoke to you. I was at a party prior. My friend Cortes later told me that she asked for my number and he gave it to her. This is the first time she's hitting me up. I've never spoken to her since that night," Rodney explained, "Please, Alicia...I would never try to hurt you."
"I want to go home," Alicia said.
"Alicia, wait. Can we talk about this?" he asked.
She ignored him, packing her things. She couldn't stop the images from replaying in her mind, the images of that woman, so similar to the way Maxine looked. This couldn't have worked. Rodney and Alicia could never ever be a thing. Alicia didn't have time to keep up with all the women throwing themselves at him. Plus, how could she compete with them? Wouldn't eventually he'd give in and cheat on her? How could she learn to trust him when there were so many girls out there that wanted him?
Rodney pulled her bag out of her hands and held onto her forearms.
"I don't even know her name," he said.
"But you know her," Alicia said.
"I spoke to her once. That night of the party," Rodney said.
"Yeah, when she threw herself at you," and she shoved his chest.
"Well, what do you want me to do? I can't stop people from coming up to me. She just did and I didn't even give her my number. Cortes did," he explained.
Her eyes drooped, "Are you serious?"
"Yes! Please, trust me, I would never lie to you," he said. "I mean, I've been telling people that I have a girlfriend now so that'd they back off, but you have to trust me, too."
"I—I know you can't do anything about people approaching you, but...I just don't know how I feel about girls just persistently trying to talk to you. I mean, look at the picture she sent you. Even if I like someone, I can't bring myself to send a picture like that."
"I'm sorry."
"It isn't your fault," she said.
She wondered if that girl was the only one that was trying to speak to him. She wondered if there were more. She wondered if she should say something about it or if he was going to just get rid of the photo and those text messages. She bit her lip, forcing herself to trust that he would block her too. Her eyes darkened. She's never blocked anyone in her life rather much pray that someone she was dating would block someone for her benefit.
Alicia just had to deal with this feeling of jealousy. She didn't like it, but it wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Rodney took her hand into his and kissed her palm.
"Are you still mad?" he asked.
"No, just hungry," she said.
***
Monday rolled around and as Alicia stood in the kitchen making herself some hot chocolate, she gazed at the photo she and Rodney took at the booth. She had kept one of them in her wallet for when she wasn't home.
"Alicia."
She jumped and turned around, forgetting she was at her internship. It was Dezzi. He stood there with narrowed eyes, looking at her.
"What are you looking at?" he said.
"Nothing," she said, flipping the photo over.
"You're looking at some photo. Is it a picture of you that you brought to work to impress me with?" he said. "You don't have to do that, baby, your looks impress me enough."
She heard the smile in his voice and tried not to cringe from it. They were still partners on most projects. Although in the past business was mixed with pleasure, it was up to her to keep it professional between them. But as she stared at him, it seemed like it would be difficult to. He had touched her in places no other man had before and from the way he was looking at her now, he was remembering those times too. He smiled stealthily.
"You know I miss you, right?" he said.
"I see you almost every day. And why are you still here? What happened to that magazine idea of yours?" she asked him.
"It's in the works." he said, "There's much more obstacles I hadn't realized I had to overcome. And why do I only see you at work? I want to be with you for more than that. Like we were last time in my room..."
He reached out with a finger and caressed her bare upper arm. She tried to move away, but he came forward, trapping her. He wasn't as tall as Rodney and so his face was right in front of her. If he leaned any closer, they could kiss.
"This is inappropriate," she said.
"Is it?" he asked, "I've already been with you, baby."
"I'm not your baby."
"Stop playing."
"No, you stop. You never called and texted me after that night. You were never serious about me."
"Fine, you want to do all that, I'll do it," he said.
"I don't want you to. That night was a mistake."
"I know the first time hurts, but we'll get the hang of it—"
"No, we won't. It's never happening again."
"Why?" and he smiled, "Are you seeing someone else?"
She eyed him as he smiled at her. She wanted to smash his face into pieces. How dare he approach her after that night? He should be embarrassed. Does he really think that night was such a warm memory in her eyes?
When he saw that she wasn't smiling, slowly his easy-goingness faded from his features. Suspicion crossed his eyes and he looked her up and down.
"Are you?" he asked.
"Yes," Alicia said, "So, let the past be the past, Dezzi."
"Who?"
"It's none of your business—"
He grabbed the picture she had flipped over from her hands. His eyes bulged and his mouth dropped.
"Alicia, are you kidding me? Him? Really?" Dezzi asked, irritated.
"Give that back," she demanded. "We're supposed to be working—we could get in trouble if Ana hears us."
"Does Maxine freaking know? Wasn't she talking to him?" he asked.
"Listen to me, you better stay out of this. I'll kill you if you tell her," she hissed.
"What the hell is so special about him, huh? Why the hell does everybody want him? What else does he got going for him besides his looks? A guy like that probably lazes around the house, doing nothing," Dezzi said.
"That's not true. He's brilliant—"
"Oh yeah? What college did he graduate from?" Dezzi asked.
Alicia fumbled for an answer, but she couldn't think of a lie quick enough. Dezzi started to laugh bitterly. The sound of his voice grated her ears. She felt ashamed. When he stopped laughing, he tilted his head to the side and regarded her with blank eyes.
"A dropout, Alicia? Really?" he asked, stepping up to her, "I didn't think you'd entertain a nobody like him. This isn't like you."
Her heart was racing as the silence in the room grew cumbersome. Her lip curled up in disgust and she tried to push past him. He grabbed her arm.
"In 10 years, when you're finally out of here and have a career will you be comfortable bringing home the bacon while he sits around on his ass all day?" Dezzi asked.
"You don't know anything," Alicia said.
"I know looks get you far no matter what you bring to the table."
"Are you jealous that I can cum just by looking at him and you couldn't make me that night?" she asked.
Dezzi's eyes darkened and he shook his head, a mocking smiled appearing on his face.
"I don't understand. How can you stand there and call yourself Maxine's best friend? Why would you do that to her knowing she likes him? Ugh, I can't stand guys like that! They think they could have whatever they want...including you. Well, you're mine. Do you hear me, Alicia, mine!" Dezzi said, and stormed out.
Alicia stared after him, her fingers shaking.