This chapter contains triggering topics such as abuse and mommy issues <3
You may skip this chapter if you don't feel comfortable enough reading
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I got in my car, and sped off. Miles per hour. Swerving past every car not giving a shit if anyone got hurt. They weren't y/n, they meant nothing. No one meant nothing.
Slamming the door to my room, throwing everything out of my cabinets, taking everything out of my drawers. Taking some pills, injecting more into my arms, more and more. I need more. I wont stop until everything else around me has stopped. I wont stop until I see her in front of me again.
I need her here with me alway. This addiction I have. This obsession with her grows more and more every second that goes by. Throwing things off the tables making a mess of my own room, looking for her shirt that left her sweet scent with it.
She left it for me, so that I can feel her even at a distance. I want to feel her, every inch of her body against mine. I want to embrace her until my head starts reeling and she fills my senses. I want her, I want her so badly..
Raising her shirt up to my face taking its scent..
Sitting back on my bed undoing my belt. Sliding my hand into my boxers imagining her sliding her hands down. Taking me in her hands, up and down slowly, making me feel good the way that she does. Leaning back, picking up the paste, her lips reaching for the tip then taking me whole. Remembering the night we first met, the night that I'd always remember. The night I vowed that she'd be mine.
Y/n...
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You felt sick, and tired. For the rest of the night after that you ignored what happened with Sanzu. Like you always did, never acknowledging your problems. Always keeping them shut, because once you open your mouth, you find the police inside your home.
Searching your house, for anything, anything that could hold them accountable. Being questioned over and over again, the same sentence repeating in your head always. Not knowing how to answer, you started to grow cold.
While you dad was being taken away into questioning, your mom trying to get rid of the investigators. Yelling at you for supposedly lying to the police. Watching them coax they're way out of imprisonment. Blaming you in secret, and giving you a warm smile infront of others. All as if nothing will go wrong.
You ungrateful child..*smack*
Who did you think you'd fool *smack*
Did you really *smack* think *smack*
You'd get away? *smack*
After everything that we've been through, everything I've done for you. You really want to leave me? *smack*
I only ever do this for you. And this is how you say thank you? I've only ever loved you, you hate me don't you? Am I not a good enough mother? Tell me y/n, do you wish that I were dead?
No...
No.
It's. It's my fault. That he.
*knock knock knock*
"Come in."
"Y/n? The guest are leaving soon, it was meant to be a small party anyway."
Silence..
"Come out to eat in a bit, you haven't eaten since we've moved here. Please?.."
Your words caught in your throat. Trying to open your mouth, or smile at her. Just something to show that you were okay. Because truly you were. Right? After all. Nothing is wrong with you, you're blessed. Right..?
"I'll be down soon.."
Turning to her, cracking a smile. A warm smile once again.
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Sitting at the table in silence, Ran and Rindou stayed over. All of you just ate not murmuring a word to each other. Ran nudging Rindou's shoulder clearing his throat. Barely touching your food picking at it lightly. Rindou clearing his throat before speaking.
"Y/n?"
Catching your attention looking at him before he continues speaking.
"Y/n, would you maybe..like to."
You stared at him intensely waiting for him to finish his sentence.
"Would you like to date me."
"What?.."