It had been twenty-three days since you and your team lost at the hands of Thanos. Your heart was shattered. But you still needed to keep going. There was no sign of Tony, or Peter, nor Strange and Wong.
You sat in Loki's room, on his bed. You had stolen a few t-shirts and wore only his clothes. His scent still lingered on the surfaces. The nights were long, and miserable.
Natasha would try and feed you, if you were eating, she didn't know. All she could do was hope. Steve was going to counseling after losing Bucky, but you just couldn't see how that was going to help.
So, you sat, another night in Loki's warm, comfortable and unused bed, you missed how cold it used to be, due to his body's coldness.
While the others talked a lot with the rest of the team. As much as they could. They were searching for Thanos.
You on the other hand, you were mourning, not only the deaths of your loved ones, Peter, Tony, Bucky and most of all, Loki, but you were doing so by shutting out the world.
And it was excruciatingly hard.
Rumbles came, shaking the bed you sat in. Your weary eyes looked around only to find no source of the noise.
You got to your aching feet and walked out into the living room where the team was rushing out of the compound.
Unsure why, you walked slowly to follow them. You walked slowly, heart shattering with every step. Your arms were crossed at the cold, light wind that blew and your eyes were glued to the green fluffy grass. Unable to hear the far away conversation you kept your eyes to the floor.
"I lost him...I lost the kid..."
"We lost..." Steves voice responded sadly.
"Is she...where's y/n..." Steve looked to Natasha, who looked to the ground. Tony's eyes grew wide. You slowly approached, your eyes slowly making way to the scene unfolding around you.
"Oh...oh no... no..." Tony's voice sadly whispered "no, no, no not another one-"
"Tony?" Tony's sadden gaze shot to you. His eyes bawled with tears, and he opened his arms, walking to you slowly but surely.
"Oh my god y/n..." as he made it to you, he collapsed into your arms, and he became in a state of shock. You held him up and wrapped your arms around him; sadly. Digging your head into his shoulder.
"He's gone Tony..." you whispered. Tony rubbed your back as you sobbed quietly.
"I'm so sorry kiddo." His words were full of sympathy and so much sorrow. You slowly pulled away as a woman, who you only came to know of recently as Pepper Potts wandered over and fell into his arms.
You wiped your tears and turned back to Natasha and Steve. You stood, almost ashamed of how you've been grieving lately.
They lost parts of the team too. You slowly walked over to Natasha and hugged her tightly.
"It's okay..." she stated quietly. She knew how sorry you were, without you having to tell her.
"It's alright y/n." She whispered as you softly cried into her short, red hair. She slowly walked you alongside of Steve, Rocket, Thor, Tony, Pepper, Bruce, Wanda and Rhodey.
As you walked away there were now two new faces you didn't recognize. As Natasha pulled you into the meeting room you sat leaned up against the meeting room wall.
Wanda stood next to you, holding onto your arm. Her heavy head laid on your shoulder.
"It's been 23 days since Thanos came to Earth." Rhodey spoke up, while pictures of many people who dusted away, was pulled up on the digital screens.
"World Governments are in... pieces. The parts that are still working, are trying to take a census and it looks like he did..." Natasha paused and looked around the room.
"Thanos did exactly what he said he was going to do. He wiped out, 50% of all living creatures." She finished.
As you watched the screens pictures of Sam, Groot, Peter, T'Challa, Bucky, and Loki, all sat on the screens. You looked away as tears fell to your cheeks, you slowly wiped them away and chewed at you lip.
Wanda turned to you, her brows saddened, she reached and wiped the tears from your cheek. You turned to her and embraced her as you both cried quietly.
"Where is he now? Where?" Tony asked now getting uneasy.
"We don't know...he just, opened a portal, and walked right through." Steve answers him, Steve sat leaned on a table looking away from Tony and to the ground.
"You don't know?" Tony asked now with a loud sigh. He was frustrated.
"We looked Tony." You said now looking at Tony, who was in a wheelchair and on fluids. He sighed and looked into the other room to Thor.
"What's wrong with him?"
"He's pissed. He thinks he failed. And while he did, there's a lot of that going around, isn't there?" Rocket said, he was sad, but he wasn't going to show it.
"Honestly until this exact second, I thought you were a build-a-bear." Tony said sarcastically.
"Maybe I am." Rocket said back. You grew annoyed with the lack of talking about the situation at hand. Wanda pulled away, composing herself and taking a few deep, heavy breaths.
"We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now. Deep space scans...and satellites...well, we've got nothing." Steve said pulling everyone back on topic.
"Tony, you fought him." Steve said as he was about to continue Tony cut him off.
"Who told you that? I didn't fight him." Everyone looked to Tony.
"No, he wiped my face with a planet, while the Bleecker Street Magician gave away the Stone." He looked to Steve. You released Wanda and wiped your tears as the two men fought.
"That's what happened. There was no fight because he's not beatable."
"Okay. Did he give you any clues? Any coordinates, anything?" Steve asked as they both tussled between the subject.
"Uh..." Tony put his hand to his head and motioned that he couldn't remember.
"I saw this coming, a few years back. I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming." Tony said sarcastically. You shifted with how easily he could joke about it. Steve stood and slowly walked over to him
"Tony, Ima need you to focus-"
"And I needed you. As in- past tense." You looked up as Tony grew angry.
"That trumps what you need. It's too late buddy. Sorry." Tony swiped his hand over the glass cups full of water to the ground, breaking them.
"You know what I need?" He stood up out of his wheelchair.
"I need to shave. And I remember telling all of you-" he messed with the IV in his arm. Rhodey rushed over to him as he tore it out.
"Tony- okay stop."
"That what we needed! Was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that?" He slowly walked over to Steve while yelling.
"Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not. That's what we needed." Tony said angrily.
"Well, that didn't work out, did it?" Steve fired back calmly.
"I said, we'd lose. You said, and we'll do that together, too. And guess what cap? We lost." Tony's voice slowly became shaken.
"And you weren't there. But that's what we do right? Our best work after the fact? We're the 'Avengers' not the 'PreVengers' right?" Rhodey began to put him back into his wheelchair, but Tony resisted.
Was this what you missed while on Sakkar? A breakup with the Avengers? You couldn't believe it.
"We need you. You're new blood." He pointed to the new girl, who somehow got his ship out of space, saving Tony's life.
"I'm so sick of all this- I've got nothing for you Cap." Tony got out of Rhodeys grasp and walked over to Steve, pointing his finger at him.
"I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero, zip, nada." Tony began to whisper angrily to him.
"No trust," Tony paused and angrily spat at Steve.
"Liar." He pulled his technology that formed his suit around him off and gave it to Steve.
"Here take this, you find him, put that on, and you hide." He said threatening. You stood up straight, now angry with the room.
"We all lost someone Tony." You say, causing all eyes to turn to you. All eyes fell on you as you walked over to him and put him back in his wheelchair.
"A suit of armor around this world wouldn't have saved it any more than we could have." You whispered to him.
"Wait kid- y/n-" Tony grabbed your hand.
"I'm sorry." He says quietly. You nod to him. He lets go of you and watches you walk past him.
Rhodey wheeled him out and Bruce followed to get him a better bed so he could rest in the med bay. The rest of the team stood. You rubbed your temples in frustration.
"You guys take care of him. And I'll bring him a Xorrian Elixir when I come back." The new girl said now walking out of the room.
"Where are you going?" Steve asked as she began to stride away.
"To kill Thanos." She blandly stated. As if it were obvious. You smirk at her confidence. You slowly walked along beside her.
"Mind if I join?" You asked her. She stopped and turned to you with a smile.
"Carol Danvers." She said with a nod. You smiled and nodded back.
"Y/n L/n." Steve and Natasha walked over now following the both of you.
"Hey, you know, we usually work as a team here, and between you and I, morale's a little fragile." Natasha spoke.
"We realize up there is more your territory, but this is our fight too. And y/n doesn't go alone." Steve said. You turned to him with your brows furrowed.
"I'm thousands of years old," you say, almost frustrated.
"I'm not a child." You said under your breath. Carol giggled to herself and then looked to Steve.
"Do you even know where he is?" You asked her. She looked over to you once more.
"I know people who might." You smiled at the ground as you looked away from her.
"Let's go tomorrow, I need sleep, and I can't leave Wanda." You say to Carol. She smiles and nods.
You walk to Wanda, helping her through the halls and to her room. As you set her on her bed she sighed and looks to you as you sit next to her.
"I am, miserable." She spoke.
"We all are..." a single tear formed. She carefully wiped it and laid her head back on your shoulder.
You both didn't sob.
Which was progress.
But that doesn't mean it hurt any less.
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