On Christmas Day, Sam decided we should go cliff jumping as a pack. I dragged myself out of bed and followed Sam to the cliff ledge. He walked straight up to the highest point, where everyone else was gathered.
A few of the boys were literally pushing each other around, hoping someone would fall so they could be made fun of. Seeing their brotherly love for each other made me miss Emmet and Edward more than I thought possible.
Sam made everyone quiet down as he gave some speech about Christmas and family or something, but my mind was elsewhere.
I looked out at the sea and really thought about the last few months I spent on the Rez. Every day had literally been worse than the previous, but I didn't know anyone in the pack knew that. It didn't help that it was Christmas; all I could do was imagine the Christmas before when I had fun with the Cullens.
Embry running past me and jumping off the cliff broke my train of thought. One by one, all of the boys jumped off the cliff into the water far below.
"Your turn, Emma," Sam told me.
The two of us made our way to the edge of the cliff. I stopped half a foot away as a thought entered my head. I haven't phased in a while; I don't know if I can survive this fall.
I turned to Sam, saying, "wait!" as he pushed me off the edge.
My feet slipped off the ledge's edge as my body started falling. I felt a scream escape my lips, but I didn't hear it over the sound of my heartbeat. It was the only sound I heard as my hair flew in front of my face and my body continued to plummet down.
Time seemed to slow as I looked at the sky above me.
I was sure that was it. I had lived my life, and now I was going to die.
And then my senses were shocked by the coldness of the water as I was suddenly submerged.
My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I passed out under the water.
I was sure I was dead or dying at least, and the only thought in my head was Jasper. I missed him.
Thankfully, I woke up sometime later on the beach, coughing up the water from my lungs.
"Oh, thank goodness," someone said, hugging me to their chest.
"We thought we lost you, Emma."
As I continued to cough and gasp for air, the fire in my lungs paralleled the aching of my heart.
"Give her space."
Whoever hugged me let go as I sat trying to breathe.
"Don't overexert yourself. Just breath."
"Easier said than done," I said as my breathing finally started to even out. I looked up to see Sam kneeling in front of me with a smile on his face and the rest of the pack surrounding him. "That probably wasn't the smartest idea we've ever had," I told Sam.
"Probably not," he told me. "I didn't think about how the not phasing would affect you, and when you told me to wait, it was already too late. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," I told him. "No harm, no foul. Now help me up."
And so Sam did. Seeing as I had just passed out from lack of oxygen, I was a little dizzy when I stood up, so Sam picked me up and carried me back to his house. I laid on the couch and wrapped blankets around me to warm up as the rest of the boys settled in to talk.
"Are you okay, Emma?" Sam asked me, sitting down next to me.
"Physically? Yes," I told him.
"And emotionally?" Embry asked me.
I tried to tell them I was fine, but the words wouldn't come out. I wanted to reassure them, but after almost dying, I realized I was far from okay emotionally.
My non-answer answered their question. I felt Sam wrap his arms around me as tears welled up in my eyes.
"I miss them," I admitted.
"Of course you do, Emma," Sam told me. "You're never going to not miss them."
We sat in silence for a moment as tears fell down my face until my phone started ringing from the kitchen.
"I got it!" Jacob yelled, going to the kitchen, picking up my phone, and answering it. I sat and waited for Jacob to tell me who called, but he didn't.
"Jake, who called?" I yelled out.
"Hold on," he yelled back. "She what?" He yelled to the person on the phone.
I got up off the couch, wiped the tears from my face, and made my way to the kitchen. I could tell Sam was following me in case something happened.
As soon as we entered, Jacob looked right into my eyes and said, "Well, of course, she's not. And you know what? It's all your fault!" He ripped the phone from his ear and aggressively hung up.
"Jake, who was that?" I asked him, stepping forward to take my phone back.
"Who do you think?" He asked me angrily. "The nerve of them. They leave you and then call as if nothing happened."
"Jacob, what are you talking about?"
"It was your stupid Cullens."
As he said the word, I automatically grabbed my phone from his hand and looked to see who called.
The most recent caller was still showing on my screen: Jazzy.