"Aaron, can I ask you something?" I asked with an uncertain voice.
"Anything Thea," he said.
"Umm... what happened to your father?" I asked before I chickened out again. I felt his muscles tense beside me at my question.
Seconds pass but he didn't answer. Finally, gathering all my courage, I looked up to find him staring back at me.
"Umm... you don't have to answer if you don't want to," I said. I am someone who understood the pain of sharing something we don't want to. Maybe he will open up when he is comfortable.
"No Thea. I was wondering why it took this long for my curious little kitten to ask," he said in an amused voice. What?
"Umm... you said he was out of the picture when I asked, and you seemed annoyed at his mention. I didn't want to make you angry," I answered.
"I can never be angry on you muneca," he said softly.
"And that's right. He is out of the picture. That bastard was never in the picture," he continued making my eyes go wide at the venom in his voice.
"He left your mom?" I asked making him release a sarcastic laugh.
"No Thea. He dint leave my mom. He raped her," he answered.
"Yes, little girl. I am not the result of my parents' love. I am evidence of the nightmare that ruined my mother's life Thea. Bit by bit, I took away her dreams, her family and her life.
She was this perfect child everyone wished for Thea. A 16-year-old girl with big dreams. That's when he entered her life. Within seconds, he turned all her dreams into nightmares. He raped her on her prom night and got away with it because that bastard had connections. My grandparents tried their best to bring justice to my mom, but they failed. So instead, they simply accepted it as a nightmare that will eventually be forgotten.
Then, I happened Thea. Shattering all the pieces they collected. They couldn't accept me in their lives Thea. They wanted my mom to abort me but she didn't. So my grandparents disowned her, hoping she would choose them. But instead, she chose me Thea. The monster who ruined it all. She left her parents for me.
My grandparents hate me even today for ruining their lives. I wouldn't blame them either. I am the living proof of the nightmare they wanted to forget. A part of the monster who brutally murdered the innocence of their little girl. Hell, even I can't forgive myself. How would they?" he kept talking. Tears were continuously flowing down my cheeks. I held him tightly hoping he would stop. However, he was lost in his own world.
"Stop it Aaron. Just stop this bull shit. What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you see a simple fact that you are as much victim as your mom is?" I said looking into his eyes hoping to break through his insanity.
"You didn't ruin your mom's life Aaron. You gave her a new life. Do you think it would be easy to just forget that she was raped and move forward? Hell no. She would have been holed up in that sorrow for god knows how long. You gave her a new purpose to live Aaron. You are responsible for her being normal. Why can't you see it?" I said with my voice breaking in the middle and tears flowing continuously.
"Shit Muneca. Please don't cry. I got carried away. I wasn't trying to frighten you," he said wiping away my tears and holding my face in his hands.
What was I doing? Why won't these tears stop? I should be the one comforting him but here we are, him comforting me even in a situation like this. Why am I so weak?
"I am not frightened Aaron. Disturbed for your mom... yes. But not frightened. Just get into that thick skull of yours that blaming yourself is stupid," I said with my voice clear this time.
"Whatever you say Thea. However, nothing can change the fact that I have a part of the monster in me," he said.
"Oh my god. You are so stupid Aaron. So stupid. You aren't him. You can never be him. You are the guy who holds a broken little girl in your hands and fights her battles as yours. A guy who strives every second to bring back the life in your mom's eyes. You are someone who doesn't bat an eye to give everything you have to a stranger who needs it. Hell, you take care of a beaten stray dog like it's the most precious thing this world has to offer. You are many things Aaron. But monster isn't one of them. Do you understand?" I said, not once looking away from his eyes. His eyes lost the glazed look and now; they were entirely focused on me. The intensity in his gaze made me hold back my breathe.
Suddenly, in one swift move, he left the bed and stalked out of the room. I wanted to run behind him, but I knew he needed a little space for himself.
Even though every passing second killed me with unanswered questions and unrequited doubts, I held myself from invading his personal space.
Did I say something I shouldn't? Did I make it all worse for him? Why isn't he coming back yet?
The door of my bedroom opened revealing him standing at the entrance of the room with a small smile playing on his lips. His eyes softened to an extent that blues in them became magnificent.
With steady steps, he came towards the bed and lied down beside me still smiling.
"Did I ever tell you how precious you are muneca?" He said his tone light.
"Umm... you did. But I don't think I mind hearing it again," I said deciding to play along making him chuckle.
Soon, we fell into comfortable silence lost in our own world of thoughts. I always blamed fate for ruining my life, but this boy beside me blames fate for giving him life.
Even when the world around me crumbled, I had Kay for me. It should have been the same with his mom too. Isn't that what family is supposed to do? Stand for each other. How cruel were his grandparents to disown their child when she needed them the most? And they did for the reason which was supposed to make them proud.
"What's bothering you Thea?" Aaron asked, gently placing his fingers between my eyebrows in an attempt to remove the frown formed.
"It's nothing," I said not wanting to make it worse for him, but he gave me a look which says he didn't buy my lie.
"Umm... How did you know all this Aaron?" I asked, but I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know the answer. He gave a small smile and lied back making me turn towards him.
"Few years after my birth, my grandparents wanted their daughter back. Uncle Arturo, my mom's oldest brother and his wife helped mom through out the pregnancy. He is older than mom by almost 10 years. Apparently, there was some trouble between him and my grand parents. He left the home when mom was really young but when he got to know about mom's situation, they took her in and supported her as much as they could," he said with a small smile.
"Its the same uncle you spend your holidays with right?"
" Yes. Its him. He has a son of my age. We were inseperable when we were kids and so soending holidays with them kinda turned into an habit after things got bad with my grand parents."
I nodded in understanding urging him to continue.
" So by the time my grand parents contacted mom, she completed her university and was into a stable job. She didn't need their support, but she could not say no to their love. She wanted me to have everything normal kids do. Including loving grand parents. What she didn't know was, they wanted only their daughter. Not their grandson," he said turning completely towards me.
"We used to visit them whenever time permitted. I knew they never liked me for some reason, but thankfully, they weren't blatant in their display of hate. Not before that day at least.
When I was 13 years old, my mom went out to meet some old friend of hers and left me alone with my grandparents. I was playing with one of the neighbor's kids and we got into a fight. We were hitting each other when his parents interfered and blew it out of proportion.
They started shouting at me and all the while, my grandparents were looking at me with disappointment in their eyes. I tried hard to explain to them that it wasn't my fault but they never believed me.
Once we went back into the house, my grandfather, who had been drinking until then started saying something about me being a true devil's spawn and taking after my father. He said I was going to ruin my mother's life again like I always did," he said making me gasp but he continued, totally lost in his world.
"I did not understand what he meant but his words triggered me Thea. I finally gave in and asked him the question that was killing me," he paused looking into my eyes with a sad smile playing on his lips.
"I asked him why they hated me and he took pleasure in letting me know how my birth ruined their little girl's life," he said.
"And even today, I regret asking them. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss muneca. That little secret about my birth ruined everything for me. When my mom came home, she immediately knew what happened when she found me crying in the bathroom. She chose me once more Thea. I ruined her chance of getting her parent's love again.
I hated that she loved me so much when all I did was give her pain. So, I wanted to make her hate me. I bunked classes, got into bad company and did everything I could so that she would give up on me. But she didn't Thea. She knew me too well, and she saw right through me. I failed my class and started drugs, and that's when she reached the breaking point. I never saw her cry muneca... but the day when I was carried home in a semiconscious state, I saw her cry. Her tears broke through my drugged haze finally making me choose. Choose between her and her happiness. I was selfish Thea, and I chose her.
I got into rehab and got my shit straight after that incident, but the bitterness inside me kept growing. And that's when fighting rings came into play. They helped me get over this self-hatred and anger that kept building inside me.
Things went back to as normal as they could be but something that is broken irreversibly is my almost non-existent relationship with my grandparents. They still hate me the same or maybe more, and I guess they are still hoping I would disappear from my mom's life like they did when I was 13," he said making another tear roll out of my eyes.
"That's so cruel Aaron. You were a kid. A 13-year-old innocent kid. How could they do this to you? What kind of monsters are they Aaron?" I kept rambling while my hand formed into tight fists as my anger got better of me.
"Shh... Thea. Relax. It's all past muneca. They aren't here," he said opening my fists and holding my small hand in his big palm.
"It's not past when it is still affecting your present," I said.
"And thank god they aren't here. Make sure I don't see them. Ever. I don't think I'll be responsible for my acts," I said making him chuckle.
"Don't worry Thea. You won't have to. They hate me too much to come anywhere near me or anything that is mine," he smiled sadly making my chest tighten. He didn't deserve this. Anyone but him.
"You are wrong Aaron. One day, they will realize all their mistakes. They will realize what they missed because of their stupidity. They will finally see how you turned your mother's nightmare into a beautiful dream. A dream better than anything they wished for their daughter. They'll see the beauty that came from ugliness and that day; they are going to beg you for forgiveness," I said looking into his eyes. I watched in fascination as the greens in them melted forming a beautiful shade.
"Sleep Thea. You are tired," he said not once shifting his eyes from me.
Now that he voiced it, I could feel tiredness take over me. Watching his chest move up and down in a perfect rhythm, I dozed off like I always do.
....
Aaron.
Revenge
The only thing that kept me going from the moment I knew my past.
That moment sealed my fate and future.
All I knew was I need to make him pay,
The bastard that ruined my mother's life.
I knew what I wanted.
However, I did not know how to achieve it
That man had connections in the high place.
There was not much a nobody like me could do against him
That's when I met him
Officer Nikolas
When I was at my lowest and in juvie,
He said he understood my need for revenge and promised to help me get it.
He offered me a deal I couldn't refuse.
All I had to do was find enough dirt to eliminate The Vipers, one of the most notorious gangs in our town.
And in exchange, he promised to give me enough material to bring my enemy to the ground.
He saw my issues and thought underground fighting rings would be best way to blow some steam and also infiltrate their gang as most Vipers are either participants or organisers of the fights.
He even promised to keep my records clean once every thing is done.
That was his offer, it was by far the easiest and safest way to reach my goal.
However, I did not plan on stopping there.
Once the monster falls from his high throne, he will be at my mercy to do as I wish. Seeing him fall never felt enough. The need to see the life leave his eyes was alive and burning.
Even if it is at the cost of my future.
It was a fail-proof plan
What I did not consider was this angel who entered my life and in no time changed my priorities.
My pain made her wince.
My bruises pained her,
Yet, she stood beside me. Healing me.
That's when I knew.
This beautiful doll owned me.
My pain.
My past.
My future.
And my love.
Somewhere along the way, she became my priority pushing revenge to back of my head.
I am still going to make my sperm donor pay.
However, I will not him ruin what I have with this angel.
I'll keep my end of the deal and leave this hell hole as soon as I can.
I won't let the darkness of that world touch my Muñeca.
And after that, I ll watch from afar as Nikolas works his magic on ruining that man and put him behind bars. Like he deserves.
.......
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