Astrid didn't know whether to be thankful gods existed or not. On one hand, it was lovely to blame bad things happening to you on them, the other hand, well, when one of them is your parent, it was just like being double sucker punched.
So, there they were, trudging through the woods along the New Jersey riverbank, the glow of New York City making the night sky yellow behind them, and the smell of Hudson reeking in their noses.
Astrid was pretty sure this was the most miserable situation she's been in, and their quest only just started. She was going to choke Percy the second they got that damned bolt and returned it for bringing her along. The only thing that made her almost gleeful was the fact that her bag only had the horrid orange camp shirts for a change of clothes, then she remembered she didn't have any other and was stuck with the same outfit for a long while. Quests stink, literally.
Beside her was Grover, who looked as miserable as she felt. "Three Kindly Ones. All three at once."
Astrid had never been more thankful that Annabeth was there to pull them along, being more clear-headed than anyone saying: "Come on! The farther away we get, the better."
"All our money was there," Percy reminded her. "Our food and clothes. Everything."
Fuck. Astrid forgot about the money.
"Well, maybe if you hadn't decided to jump into the fight—"
"What did you want me to do? Let you get killed?"
"You didn't need to protect me, Percy, I would've been fine."
"That's just your pride speaking," Astrid muttered to herself. She hoped Annabeth didn't hear her.
"Sliced like sandwich bread," Grover put in, "but fine."
"Shut up, goat boy," said Annabeth.
"Hey, that's my line," Astrid interjected.
Grover brayed mournfully. "Tin cans... a perfectly good bag of tin cans."
Astrid entertained Grover's funeral for his snacks, leaving room for Annabeth and Percy to have their little talk she could hear them muttering behind her. But don't blame her for being a sucker for good gossip, so she strained her ears only to hear the last bit.
"You know," Annabeth said, "maybe I should tell you... Something funny back on the bus..."
Whatever she wanted to say was interrupted by a shrill toot-toot-toot that was too close to Astrid's ear for comfort.
"Hey, my reed pipes still work!" Grover cried. "If I could just remember a 'find path' song, we could get out of these woods!"
He puffed out a few notes, but it only made Astrid wish he knew Edith Piaf. Instead of finding a path, Percy immediately slammed his head into a tree and got a nice-sized knot on his head.
After tripping and cursing and generally feeling miserable for another mile or so, they started to see lights up ahead: the colours of a neon sign. Astrid could smell food. Fried, greasy food. But instead of feeling hunger from knowing she hasn't eaten in hours, she felt repulsed. She wanted to walk the other way, avoid the establishment, but even if she hated greasy foods, the smell was just too intoxicating.
It wasn't a fast-food chain like Astrid expected. It was something she didn't expect entirely in this stretch of road. The main building was a long, low warehouse, surrounded by acres of statuary. She didn't even want to bother trying to read the glowing neon sign above the gate.
"What the hell does that say?" Percy asked.
"I don't know," Annabeth said.
Grover translated: "Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium."
Percy went first to cross the street.
"Dude, are you crazy?" Grover exclaimed, rushing after him.
"The lights are on inside," Annabeth said. "Maybe it's open."
"I hope not." Astrid wrinkled her nose.
"Snack bar," Percy said wistfully.
"Snack bar," Annabeth agreed.
At this point Astrid's hunger was overwhelming she wanted to nod along, but that was strange, she wasn't that hungry just now.
"Are you two crazy?" Grover said. "This place is weird."
The three kids ignored him.
The front lot was a forest of statues: cement animals, cement children, even a cement satyr playing the pipes. Astrid went to take a closer look; the detail and the artistry were just so lifelike.
"Blah-ha-ha!" Grover bleated. "Looks like my Uncle Ferdinand."
They stopped at the warehouse door.
"Don't knock," he pleaded. "I smell monsters."
Astrid's mind came into focus at the word 'monsters'. Her hunger had disappeared just as fast as it came. Her mind was telling her to run. "Guys..."
"Your nose is just clogged up from the Furies," Annabeth told him. "All I smell is burgers. Aren't you hungry?"
"Meat!" Grover said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian."
From the look of the place, Astrid wasn't ready to expect it offered vegetarian options.
"You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminium cans," Percy reminded him.
"Those are vegetables. Come on. Let's leave. These statues are... looking at me."
The warehouse door creaked open, revealing a tall woman covered head to toe in a long black gown, everything but her coffee-coloured hands, and her head was completely veiled. Her eyes glinted behind a curtain of black gauze. She said, "Children, it is too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?"
Astrid stepped forward, trying to take control of the situation with a half-truth and charmingly sad smile. "We got lost."
Then Percy ruined it by speaking up. "We're orphans."
"Orphans?" the woman said. The word sounded alien in her mouth. "But my dears! Surely not!"
Percy could fully feel Astrid glaring at the side of his head. "We got separated from our caravan," he said. "Our circus caravan. The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, we're lost. Is that food I smell?"
"Oh, my dears," the woman said. "You must come in, poor children. I am Aunty Em. Go straight through the back of the warehouse, please. There is a dining area."
They thanked her and went inside. Astrid took her time walking in the back, looking around.
Aunty Em offered them all a seat which they took, Astrid hadn't realized how tired her legs were from all that walking.
"Um," Grover said reluctantly, "we don't have any money, ma'am."
Astrid saw Percy raise his elbow to jab him on the side, but she gave him a look to which he stopped just as Aunty Em said, "No, no, children. No money. This is a special case, yes? My treat, for such nice orphans."
"Thank you, ma'am," Annabeth said.
Aunty Em stiffened as if Annabeth had done something wrong, but the old woman relaxed just as quickly that Astrid wondered if she imagined it.
"Quite alright, Annabeth," she said. "You have such beautiful grey eyes, child."
This time it was Astrid's turn to stiffen. How did she know her name without an introduction? Still, she resisted the urge to pull her friends by their necks and bolt. She didn't even know what force held her seated down.
Their hostess disappeared behind the snack counter and started cooking. Before they knew it, she'd brought them plastic trays heaped with double cheeseburgers, vanilla shakes, and XXL servings of french fries.
Not one to waste food, Astrid piled her share onto Percy's tray and kept only the vanilla shake to slowly sip on. The boy didn't even look like he was breathing when he bit down on his burger.
Annabeth slurped her shake.
Grover picked at the fries and eyed the tray's waxed paper liner as if he might go for that instead, but he still looked too nervous to eat.
"What's that hissing noise?" he asked.
Astrid strained her ears best as she could but still heard nothing. Annabeth shook her head.
"Hissing?" Aunty Em asked. "Perhaps you hear the deep-fryer oil. You have keen ears, Grover."
"I take vitamins. For my ears."
"That's admirable," she said. "But please, relax."
Aunty Em ate nothing. She hadn't even taken off her headdress, even to cook, and now she sat forward and interlaced her fingers and watched the children eat. It was unsettling having someone stare at you while you ate and couldn't see their face.
"So, you sell gnomes, Aunty?" Astrid tried to make polite conversation.
"Oh, yes," Aunty Em said. "And animals. And people. Anything for the garden. Custom orders. Statuary is very popular, you know."
Astrid had to agree, having a garden of their own back home. She wondered if she could recommend this one if her maman ever had to redecorate.
"A lot of business on this road?'
"Not so much, no. Since the highway was built...most cars, they do not go this way now. I must cherish every customer I get.
The hairs on Astrid's arm rose. Percy turned to look a statue of a young girl holding an Easter basket. The detail was incredible, down to the face, even it was horrified.
"Ah," Aunty Em said sadly. "You notice some of my creations do not turn out well. They are marred. They do not sell. The face is always the hardest to get right. Always the face."
"You make these statues yourself?" Percy asked.
"Oh, yes. Once upon a time, I had two sisters to help me in the business, but they have passed on, and Aunty Em is alone. I have only my statues. This is why I make them; you see. These are my company."
Scrap the fact that Astrid found this situation fishy, the sadness in the woman's voice had her feeling sympathy. "That must've been really hard for you."
Annabeth had stopped eating. She sat forward and said, "Two sisters?"
"It's a terrible story," Aunty Em said. "Not one for children, really. You see, Annabeth, a bad woman was jealous of me, long ago, when I was young, I had a ... a boyfriend, you know, and this bad woman was determined to break us apart. She caused a terrible accident. My sisters stayed by me. They shared my bad fortune as long as they could, but eventually they passed on. They faded away. I alone have survived, but at a price. Such a price."
Astrid's heart hurt for the woman's story, she didn't like tragic endings, love stories they may be. She used the spare tissues to dab at the gathering tears on her eyes.
"Such beautiful gray eyes," Aunty Em told Annabeth again. "My, yes, it has been a long time since I've seen gray eyes like those.
She reached out as if to stroke Annabeth's cheek, but Annabeth stood up abruptly.
"We really should go."
"Yes!" Grover swallowed his wax paper and stood up. "The ringmaster is waiting. Right!"
"What, why?" Astrid questioned, baffled at her friend's change of heart.
"Please, dears," Aunty Em pleaded. "I so rarely get to be with children. Before you go, won't you at least sit for a pose?"
"Why, but of course!" Astrid's eyes flitted over the state of her friends.
"Just a photograph. I will use it to model a new statue set. Children are so popular, you see. Everyone loves children."
Annabeth shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I don't think we can, ma'am. Come on, Percy—"
"Sure, we can," Percy protested. "It's just a photo, Annabeth, what's the harm?"
"Yes, Annabeth," the woman purred. "No harm."
The other two didn't like it, but they followed Aunty Em back out the front door, into the garden of statues.
Aunty Em directed them to a park bench next to the stone satyr. "Now," she said, "I'll just position you correctly. The two young ladies in the middle, I think, and the two young gentlemen on either side."
"Not much light for a photo," Percy remarked.
"Oh, enough," Aunty Em said. Enough for us to see each other, yes?"
"I don't see a camera on you." Astrid crossed her arms.
Aunty Em stepped back, as if to admire the shot. "Now, the face is the most difficult. Can you smile for me please, everyone? A large smile?"
Grover glanced at the cement satyr next to him, and mumbled, "That sure does look like Uncle Ferdinand."
"Grover," Aunty Em chastised, "look this way, dear."
She still had no camera in her hands.
"Percy—" Annabeth said.
Astrid could finally see him trying to fight the sleepiness.
"I will be just a moment," Aunty Em said. "You know, I can't see you very well in this cursed veil..."
"Guys, something is very wrong," Annabeth insisted.
"Wrong?" Aunty Em said, reaching up to undo the wrap around her head. "Not at all, dear. I have such noble company tonight. What could be wrong?"
"That is Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover gasped.
"Look away from her!" Astrid shouted. Annabeth whipped her Yankees cap onto her head and vanished. Her invisible hands pushed all of them off the bench
Grover scrambled off into one direction. Astrid was quick to yank Percy down to the dirt where they lay right at Aunty Em's sandaled feet. Astrid shut her eyes tight, leaving no chance of her catching the woman's eyes.
"No! Don't!" she heard Annabeth shout somewhere.
Astrid found Percy's hand in the dirt and clutched it for life.
"Run! Maia!" Grover shouted and the sound of flapping followed.
"Such a pity to destroy a handsome young face," Medusa said. "Stay with me, Percy. All you have to do is look up."
"You better fucking not, Perseus," Astrid whispered at his side.
"The Grey-Eyed One did this to me, Percy. Annabeth's mother, the cursed Athena, turned me from a beautiful woman into this.'
"Don't listen to her!" Annabeth's voice trembled. "Run!"
"Silence!" Medusa snarled. She hummed as her voice turned silky smooth once more. "You see why I must destroy the girl, Percy. She is my enemy's daughter. I shall crush her statue to dust. But you dear Percy, you and your little love need not suffer. She'd make for a pretty statue, don't you agree?"
"No," Percy muttered beside her, finally breaking free from the dazed spell Medusa had put him in.
"Do you really want to help the gods?" Medusa questioned. "Both of you? Do you understand what awaits you on this foolish quest? What will happen if you reach the Underworld? Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dears. You'd be better off as a statue. Less pain. Less pain."
"Duck!" Grover yelled at them, which was kinda repetitive since their faces were already in the ground.
"Duck!" He yelled again. "I'll get her!"
Astrid let go of Percy's hand and shoved him roughly to the side before rolling the opposite way.
Thwak!
A grunt of pain followed, and Astrid knew Grover hit a home run.
"You miserable satyr! I'll add you to my collection!" Medusa snarled.
"That was for Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover yelled back.
Astrid scrambled away and hid in the statuary, trying to think of ways to help, well at least until Annabeth or Percy found a better plan.
Sliding her ring off her finger, she wondered if it was worth her luck to throw knives at a target she can't look at. Yeah, no, she wasn't taking her chances. What if she hit any of her friends?
"Hey, guys! I think she's unconscious!" Grover yelled. Only seconds later did Medusa roar at him. "Maybe not!"
Trying instead to find her other friends, with eyes closed, Astrid took her back off the statue to turn but was shocked when she found an arm wrapped around her middle with another at her throat. Astrid shut her eyes so tight she could see shapes.
"Look, daughter of Aphrodite," Medusa purred in her ear. "Open your eyes and see my beauty."
Astrid shook her head in defiance at her and the voice in her head saying it was alright.
"Hey! Let her go!" Percy's voice shattered the atmosphere, enough for Medusa to loosen her grip on Astrid, managing to elbow the woman in the gut and setting herself free.
A sickening shlock! followed seconds later, and a thump of something hitting the ground.
"Oh yuck!" Grover cried, voice full of disgust. "Mega-yuck!"
Yep, Percy just beheaded Medusa.
"Don't move!" Annabeth called.
A shuffling and rustling sound was heard before Annabeth called an all-clear.
Astrid finally opened her eyes and joined her friends.
"Astrid!" Percy scrambled over to her. He held her face in his hands searching for wounds. "Did she hurt you or anything?"
"I'm fine, Percy, don't be such a mama. I should be the one fussing over you, you did that!"
He gave her a smile and shrugged. "The head... why didn't it evaporate?"
"Once you sever it, it becomes a spoil of war," Annabeth said. "Same as your minotaur horn. But don't unwrap the head, it's petrify still works."
Grover groaned as he climbed down from the arms of a bear statue. His green rasta cap was up from one of his horns and he had a small scuff on the side of his cheek. A little banged up, but not too bad. His flying sneakers flitted aimlessly around his head, occasionally bumping into one another.
"The Red Baron," Percy said, clapping the satyr on the shoulder. "Good job, man."
"That really was not fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-the-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? Not fun."
The four of them stumbled back inside the warehouse. They found some old plastic grocery bags behind the snack counter and double-wrapped Medusa's head. They plopped it onto the table where they had eaten dinner and sat around it, too exhausted to speak.
Finally, Percy spoke up. "So, we have Athena to thank for this monster?"
Annabeth flashed him an irritated look as Astrid pinched him on his side to which he gave an affronted yelp.
"Your dad, actually. Don't you remember? Medusa was Poseidon's girlfriend. They decided to meet in my mother's temple. That's why Athena turned her into a monster. Medusa and her two sisters who had helped her get into the temple; they became the three gorgons. That's why Medusa wanted to slice me up, but she wanted to preserve you as a nice statue. She's still sweet on your dad. You probably reminded her of him."
Percy's face was burning. "Oh, so now it's my fault we met Medusa."
Annabeth straightened. In a bad imitation of his voice, she said: "'It's just a photo, Annabeth. What's the harm?'"
"Forget it," Percy said. "You're impossible."
"You're insufferable."
"You're—"
Astrid's eyes flitted over her friends like she was watching a tennis match, well entertained.
"Hey!" Grover interrupted. "You two are giving me a migraine, and satyrs don't even get migraines. What are we going to do with the head?"
"Ooo! Keep it as a weapon against what other monsters we might face?" Astrid raised her hand.
"She's right, it'd be deadly useful," Annabeth agreed.
"Nah, I've got a better idea. I'll be back."
And sooner than Astrid thought Percy would say 'sike', he had the head shipped for the gods on Olympus. Forget choking him, a smack in the head would also do.
"They're not gonna like that." Grover warned. "They'll think you're impertinent."
"I am impertinent."
Astrid put her head in her hands, well ahead of Grover in the migraine department.
Percy looked at Annabeth, daring her to criticize.
She didn't.
"Come on," she muttered. "We need a new plan."