When Azriel returned Heart was sitting in the bed but Pippor was sleeping peacefully by her side. He quietly closed the door and crept up to her. She was reading a book and flipped a page calmly before whispering, "Your spy tactics don't work on me."
He smiled, "I know. Too bad." He slumped down on the bed and caressed Pip's cheek before saying, "You said you would be sleeping."
She sighed, "I couldn't sleep. I feel on edge." She paused, "And my shoulders hurt."
Azriel held her hand, "Is there anything I can do?"
She blinked and set the book on the nightstand, "I was thinking that maybe Pip would learn better about his powers if he stayed here."
Azriel soon saw where she was heading, "You don't have to sacrifice any of your achievement for Pip to learn. I can take care of that."
She looked so, so tired, "How?"
"You don't have to worry about any of that." He kissed the back of her hand. "I can get him teachers. He can visit Rhys and Feyre to learn more."
Heart tipped her head back to rest it against the bedrest. She was quiet for a long time after that, "I just want the best for him." She mumbled to herself. She pulled herself up and faced the spymaster, "I wish I could stay here, Azriel. Things would be so much easier but these marble walls and cold hallways make me feel so empty."
Azriel had never seen her so defeated. He wrapped his arms around her waist, "You can live anywhere you want to. Pip will have the best of everything, I promise you that." The Golden light from a candle fell across her face and it glowed like it was painted in gold. Her beautiful features were relaxed but in way that showed how much she didn't care about her state. He cupped her face, "Is there something else bothering you?"
She kept looking at his chest before slumping forward and burying herself in his arms, "A lot of things. I just don't have the right words to start." She whispered softly, "I just feel so cold."
Azriel kissed her shoulder and mumbled, "I promise everything will be okay. It's okay to be upset."
She wrapped her arms around his torso and tears filled her eyes, "I hate this. I always had my life planned. Every last detail was taken care of. I can't believe everything is going so wrong."
"What were the plans?" He inquired.
She sighed, "Well, my primary interest was medicine. Astrophysics was the next goal. I was supposed to study to be a surgeon, which I still haven't accomplished. I have a great interest in dead bodies so being a mortician was to come next. I know how to play the violin but I also want to learn piano."
Azriel was shocked to learn the number of things lined up. He had never really planned so far ahead for his future, but then again, he didn't have much to look forward to. Now, with Heart and Pip in his life, he had much to plan. Being a spymaster was a habit now, he had to do the same things over and over again. Torture was even easier.
Heart had so much to do, so much to achieve. He smiled proudly, "I might just be too stupid to be your mate. That is a lot of smart people stuff."
Heart lifted her lashes, "Did you go to school or only the warrior camp?"
He shifted uncomfortably, "Just the camp. I wasn't -well, I never went out of my room, if you can even call it that."
She brushed his hair back from his eyes and cupped his face, "Is that where you got the scars?"
Azriel didn't look into her eyes but his expression darkened. He nodded once and tried to brush it aside, "I went to illyria when I was eleven so it's been a long time since I've been to that place."
Heart smiled sadly, "I can tell what you're feeling, you know?" Azriel's shoulders slumped and Heart kissed him softly before saying, "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I'm sure there will come a time when we can discuss that." Her mood had definitely lifted by now and she squeezed his face. "You can smile now, nobody is going to take my mate away from me."
He chuckled, "I'm sure they'll see hell."
Heart grinned, "That's right." She waved her hand and a gust of chilly air swept past them. "Oh, okay. Maybe that was too cold." She put her arm down sheepishly.
An idea stuck his head, "You didn't come down to eat anything." The dinner had passed a long time ago with everyone celebrating the fact that Nyx could finally be able to eat with then and not five hours later because his body refused to adhere to time. Azriel had thought that Pip might be hungry and he waited to hear whiny foot stomping or to see a pouty, red face to appear downstairs but when he didn't see him, he concluded that he was too tired to even eat.
Heart shrugged, "I was crying."
He raised her eyebrows, "Oh. Um." He paused. "You're open about that."
"I was crying. Why would I lie? It's not something to be ashamed of. What's so tough about not crying? That makes you sound like a psychopath."
He nodded, "That's admirable. I've never told anyone I was crying. That would take a lot of strength, which I don't have."
She held up a finger, "Yet. You can tell me if you ever cry."
He smiled, "I'm sure you'll know. I look very ugly after I cry."
"More than this?"
"I hate you."
Heart burst out laughing as she swung her legs over the bed. She held out her hand, "No, you don't. Come, I want to make some soup."
"Are we going to make Pip's favorite soup? I want to learn how to make that." Az excitedly followed her outside of the room and down the empty staircase.
"Azriel, I'm the sad one." She looked over her shoulder at him.
He pursed his lips, "Right. You can tell me the recipe some other time." She skipped inside the kitchen as he trailed behind, "Tell me what you like."
She rummaged through shelves, "I'm fine with any soup honestly. I just like warm food and drinks."
Azriel prodded her, "But there must be something that you love the most."
She shrugged, "Tomato, corn, carrots, I love these things in my soup. Well, maybe not carrots so much. I like them very finely chopped." She wagged a finger in his face before walking past him and letting the tomatoes she had fall onto the counter.
Azriel grabbed a knife and started helping her in chopping the tomatoes. "I'm good at chopping things."
Heart paused, "Do I want to know why?"
He popped a piece of tomato in his mouth and nodded, "I've killed a lot of people. Also torturing includes a lot if cutting."
She smacked his hand away from tomatoes and went back to making the soup. Pouring water in a pot, she said, "You never fail to give me a headache."
He leaned against the counter, "That's the only thing I know how to do."
"I'm not saying your job is wrong or bad." Heart waved the spoon she was using to stir the soup around. "I'm not particularly empathetic to anybody I don't know." Azriel raised his eyebrows as Heart continued, "I'm a medic, besides other things, but I understand that you're not some sadist monster."
Azriel tilted his head to a side and hummed, "I don't just torture random people so I think you're right. Not a sadistic monster, but maybe not ideally sociable."
"That's just you being quiet." She clicked her tongue.
"I don't think I'm very quiet." Azriel frowned and Heart burst out laughing. "Why would I say more than I have to? Also my life is astronomically boring."
Heart narrowed her eyes at him, "You can't lie to me, spymaster."
"Well, maybe not astronomically boring. But it's not worth mentioning either." He shrugged. "Your life is more interesting."
"I just read and when I'm not reading, I'm playing with Pip." Heart scoffed.
After a long stretch of silence, Azriel said, "Could it be that we're two interesting people who think they're boring?"
"That's why we are mates." Heart mumbled and extended the spoon towards him, "How does it taste?"
"Oh, that's very nice." Azriel nodded. "I like this." He retracted a large bowl for Heart to pour the soup into.
She brushed her hair back awkwardly with her elbow, "You know, all this talk about my life reminded me that I haven't seen my students in a long time."
"You mean two weeks?"
"A long time." She said pointedly. "Do you have time to take me there tomorrow?"
"We will fly." He grinned.
"I will stab you." Heart glared. "Just winnow me back to the house. Pip can stay here and rest until he is ready to repeat this again and properly cure Nyx."
Azriel nodded, "We can leave in the afternoon."