Chapter: 11
It's better to wait a long time because that's what success really means.
I was taken to my grandfather's hacienda, extensive and with many plantations. He also has pet horses that they use to climb hills. A smile automatically flashed on my lips when I saw the lone horse Azul. I immediately approached him and caressed his body.
I laughed a little when it suddenly approached me and squealed. I haven't seen him in years, he was small then but now he's big.
Tumingin ako kay lolo na nakangiti habang nakamasid sa amin. Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit sa amin, kita mo ang paika-ika niyang paglalakad dahil sa sakit ng tuhod niya.
Hinawakan niya ang balikat ko kaya agad ko siyang inalalayan, ngumiti siya at tumingin sa aking mga mata. "Alam mo bang ilang taon ka niyang hinintay? Mailap sa amin si azul pero nung nakita ka niya ngayon bigla siyang sumigla." Sabay kaming tumingin kay Azul. Kulay puti ang balahibo nito, kitang kita mo na alagang-alaga siya dito.
"Siguro kailangan ko ng bumawi kay azul," natatawa na sabi ko.
Nagpaalam ako kay lolo na aakyat ako sa kabilang burol para ipasyal si Azul, maraming bulaklak ang lugar na iyon, minsan na rin kaming pumunta doon nung kasama ko pa sila mommy at ngayon magisa na lang ako na aakyat doon para pagmasdan ang mga mayayabong na bulaklak.
I carry my camera now so I'm sure I can take good pictures around there. I couldn't help but smile because of Azul's running speed. I stroked his head and looked straight ahead where we were making our way there.
People rarely come here because it is so far from the town. I slowly got off my ride with Azul. I grabbed the leash and carefully pulled him to go to the place where they put the pet horses.
There are only a few people and they have their own world so I know I can make the most of the in this place quietly. Full of beautiful scenery here, where I turn my gaze to the flowers I see. They come in different colours.
I'm glad because they haven't closed this place until now, it's one of the places we locals used to go to, until now its beauty hasn't changed.
Clouds cover the sun so it's not too hot, it's still fresh here and I can feel the wind blowing on my body. My attention was drawn to the cradle hanging from a big tree. I immediately went there because no one was there.
My body just kept up with the swinging cradle. I could see from my seat the houses below, I'm sure they could see the beautiful view here. It feels good when you go to a place like this, it is true that others say that the true friend of man is nature.
Even if we can't talk to them, we feel light, by simply closing our eyes and shouting at the emptiness while looking up at the emptiness is one of those things that can remove the weight we feel.
I immediately lost my good thoughts when I suddenly noticed two people on the side of the tree near my seat. The woman held the man's hand as if she didn't want to let go of the man's hand.
"You left me here because you chose to live there, I allowed you because that's what you want so please allow me to be with the woman I love--"
"I thought I was the woman you love?" She crouched at the last word she uttered.
The man shook his head and removed the woman's hand from him. "Since you left me, I've lost my feelings. If you value someone, you won't leave him, will you?" It bowed. "Just accept that you will never love me the way I do," When he said that he immediately left the woman.
Napako ang tingin ko sa babae, tumayo pa ito at humarap sa lalaki na ngayo'y nakatalikod na. "I chose to do that because I don't want to hurt you because if I hadn't done that you would feel even more hurt now. I don't regret the decision I made because it will be good for us." This did not stop the man from leaving, she sat down on the grass and hugged her knee.
My world seemed to stop when I saw her face. In the large world where we have but I seen her here, I gasped when she looked at me. Her eyes widened looking at me, she stood up and immediately wiped her cheek which was wet from her tears.
I approached her and faced her, she was even more surprised and sighed. "I can't see in your eyes that you love him because the truth is you're just scared of losing the person who's always been there for you." She just stared at me while processing what I said.
My eyes startled because she suddenly attacked me with a hug, her face buried in my chest. She started crying again and was still in my arms. "You're right. I just hurting myself more but I just want to experience love. I just want to experience it before everything disappears."
Naiilang na hinaplos ko ang kanyang likod para patahanin. "Let your heart beat spontaneously and when it happens to beat for someone, there you can say that you truly love."
We were in that position for a few minutes until she felt better. She wasn't looking directly into my eyes because of the embarrassment she had caused. She stood with me while looking at the clusters of flowers. "Ano pa lang ginagawa mo dito?" tanong niya sa akin.
"I am here to visit my grandfather's house."
"You, why are you here?"
"We used to live here but we had to move because... " I turned to her and I wasn't wrong because sadness appeared on her face again.
When she noticed that I was staring at her she forced herself to smile at me. "Don't smile at me if it's not true either." I remind her.
Bumuga ako ng hangin at hinawakan ang kamay niya, hinila ko siya para maglakad. Hindi na siya tumutol dahil sumunod na lamang siya sa akin. We stopped my horse Azul, I let go of her and approached Azul to remove the leash that was nailed. I pulled Azul to walk.
I quickly rode Azul and at the same time I looked at Jazure who was looking up at me. I held out my hand to her, she was still hesitant to accept it. "Hindi pa kasi ako nakasakay sa kabayo..." nagiwas ito ng tingin.
"I will not let you fall, in case you fall I will make sure that we both fall."
Even though I didn't look back at her I knew her eyes were streaked with fear and apprehension, she clung tightly to my waist. I chuckled when I felt her hand in my abs. "Feel free to touch it," I whispered.
She was alert to what I said so she immediately let go. Suddenly Azul ran fast kaya mas siniksik ni Jazure ang kanyang sarili sa akin. I laughed and shaken up because of what Azul did.
Nakarating kami dito sa ilog, nauuhaw si Azul kaya naisipan ko muna na dumaan dito para painumin siya. Inalalayan ko si Jazure sa pagbaba. Sabay kaming napatingin sa paligid, unti na lang ang mga tao na naglalaba dito dahil narin sa tirik ng araw.
I just watched Azul who was now drinking water from the river. The surroundings are quiet all you can hear is the flow of water which gives off the sound.
Humarap ako sa kanya. "How's your feeling right now?" I know a lot happened today and one that was there happened to her earlier.
She took a deep breath and stared into my eyes. "I feel better now because I didn't let myself be confined to something I didn't want."
Bumalik ang tingin ko kay Azul. "Ang lampa mo na nga ang tanga mo pa," Nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa sinabi ko kaya tinignan ko siya.
"Why would you force yourself if you don't want to? It's better that you wait a long time because that's where you can find the word you want."
"Why have you ever experienced something to like things and fought for it?"
I stopped for a moment and looked straight into her eyes full of curiosity. "I had one thing I always wanted but until now I didn't know how I was going to accomplish it."
"We are in the same situation, I want to experience what I want and you want to reach what you wanted for a long time."
"How did we become the same situation?"
"Gusto nating maghabol sa bagay na gusto natin. We're in the same boat, bangka papunta sa gusto nating makamit."
Deafening silence enveloped the two of us, we both looked at Azul walking towards us. I don't know why it became awkward between the two of us. I don't know what to say.
Hindi siya masyadong nakakapit sa akin kaya alam kong naiilang siya sa aming pwesto habang si Azul ay patuloy parin sa pagtakbo. We had no idea where our path was going but we just wanted to get away for a while and go to a quiet place.
We quietly made our way to an unknown place. Azul stopped running so I went down to help Jazure get down. Naiilang pa ito na hawakan ang kamay ko kaya agad kong kinuha ang kanyang kamay kaya bigla itong nahulog buti na lang nasalo ko siya agad.
Her eyes widened because of the closeness of our faces to each other. She pushed me lightly on the chest to get away and she succeeded. I asked her earlier if she knew this place but she said she didn't know, we didn't have anyone to meet on the way so we couldn't ask for help or even ask questions on how we get out here.
She said she lives in the town and she doesn't know much about the place. I just combed my hair. The two of us were walking while I was holding azul who was accompanying our walk
"It's going to get dark and we still don't know where we are..." She said, earlier I noticed that she was tired so I quickly stopped azul from walking.
"Ba't ka tumigil?"
"Sakay."
"Huh?"
"Sumakay ka na, I don't want to see you get tired." She bit her lower lip so hard. I pulled Azul while Jazure was riding and watching the setting sun. We didn't realise that it was going to be night.
Napabuntong hininga ako.
I stopped walking when I caught sight of a hut not far from us, I just pulled the horse until we got there. She hugged her body when suddenly the cold wind blew.
Once we took shelter in the small hut, I looked for a light and I was not disappointed because I saw some oil being put in the lamp. I arranged it until there was a fire shining on it, I placed it between us. We sat on the floor near the lamp.
Her body was shaking from the cold, she hugged her knee. I didn't realise that I was close to her, I was behind her. I came closer to her and hugged her.
She stiffened in her seat and could not speak due to shock. I could feel the coldness of her body, I just remained hugging her. "I'll hug you because you're getting cold so don't think of anything else," I reminded her.
Nakatingin lang kami sa ilawan habang nasa ganitong posisyon. Ngayon ko pa lang ginagawa ito at sa kanya pa, I can't figure out why I'm doing it I can't understand myself.
The colder the air around me the more I tightened my grip on her, nakasandal siya sa aking dibdib. Alam kong kanina pa niya pinipigilan ang 'yung antok niya, naramdaman ko na lamang na bumigay ang ulo niya sa aking dibdib.
I could just see myself staring at her gentle face that was the colour of a rainbow in the sky. I looked at the sunset which was now slowly disappearing and being swallowed away by darkness.