He prefers the floor. I don't mind. I like talking to him even if he barely answers me. He seems to comprehend what I say somewhat.
I lay on my stomach, on the bed, but he's so large we're face to face even though the bed is pretty high up.
"I feel bad," I murmured, wine glass in my hand. "I feel like a monster." I pause looking at him. "No offense."
He gruffs, looking away.
"I may have to sleep with him you know?" I mutter, my head in a haze.
His red eyes are focused on me again, narrowed into slits.
"Don't look at me like that. I'll try my best not to, but what am I gonna do?"
He says nothing and of course, he doesn't but it's obvious he's not pleased. Once again, I'm convinced he understands me.
"Alright, Slade. I have to go to bed now." I Right myself on the bed laying down.
He stands, walking around the bedroom. I close my eyes, assuming he will leave and come back. Where does he come from? I'm not sure maybe I should ask Holjin.
I shift, feeling an odd feeling. A gust of air My eyes open, and there he is head cocked. Red peering into me with curiosity.
He's hovering by the ceiling, his wings flapping gently, knocking things over.
"Hey, hey, get down from there," I curse, waving my hand. He snarls at me, falling onto the bed, breaking it.
I sigh, looking over at him. His talon lifts the cover before nodding, pulling it over his body, and patting it. I purse my lips trying to contain my laughter.
"Slade I don't think you can sleep here, and you definitely can't follow me around—"
He retracts his claws, pulling me into his chest. I'm frozen. Ah...even if this form is larger, this hold is so familiar. I thought I'd never feel it again.
He rumbles in content, pulling me even closer. I stroke the feathers on his chest. "I'm so happy, Slade. Tell me I'm not dreaming."
Slade, of course, says nothing. I look up, between his eyes trying to gauge whether he can understand Me and whether he's still my Slade.
Even if he's not...if he's okay...
No. That's a lie. I want my Slade. I'd rather him be alive than dead, yes but if I can have him back. I have to try.
"Don't cry," he growls. "Don't cry, little human."
But I can heed him because then I'm really breaking down. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know me at all, does it?
These past few months, erased. And what if I can't get them back.
He pats my head as I sob, his feathers twitching anxiously, my bed half-collapsed as I poise myself to ruin the world I belong to, for the man, for the god, to who my heart belongs to.
"What am I supposed to do with this? What's my role? Just tell me?" I sob into his chest. "Please just tell me if I'm doing the right thing."
His hands hover over me, as he looks down at me, almost scared. It's ironic. He's a god, damn near a monster and he's scared because I'm crying.
But I need an answer. To quiet this doubt. I need an alibi, I need a reason.
Otherwise, I don't think I could live with myself. I'm sure happiness will be out of my reach.
"It must be upsetting," he hesitates. "You're only human, after all."
I smile. "Yes...I'm only human."
• • •
I inform the maids I'll dress myself. Slade is not pleased with me trying to leave and telling him he can't follow.
"Where are you going?" He follows me around as I go into the closet to pick a dress.
"To the Queen Ceremony."
"What is that?"
"A ceremony to pick the Queen," I pick out a dress, drawing my bath.
"Why are you going there?"
"To be Queen," I sigh.
He pulls my arm frowning down at me. "Why do you want to be Queen?"
I sigh. "Do you know what a Queen is?"
He shakes his head.
I take my clothes off, slipping into the bath. He growls but he always growls so I think nothing of it.
"It's a person who's close to the king. The king is someone in charge of war."
"I'm in charge of war," he laments, sitting next to the tub.
"Yes, you are," I pat his head. He lays his head on the side of the tub, sighing.
"And I can't go with you?"
I look at him, raising my brows. "No. You mustn't let other humans see you, Slade."
He grumbles. "I don't like this. Queen this, Queen that. Stay."
I brush my hands through my hair. "I can't, Slade."
He touches his ring on my finger. "This says you're mine. Why won't you listen to me," he grumbles.
"Is that what it says?" I outstretch my hand. "Ah, interesting. Then will you do me a favor?"
He sits up with a nod.
I smile. "There's a temple, a few miles from here. In that temple is a rose garden. Will you get a rose for me? Pick the very best one."
He stands. "Only because you're such a fragile human and it will take you a long time."
I nod. "Yes, it would."
He leaves the room, going out through the window. I don't think that will hold him for long but at least until I get back from the Queen Ceremony.