a reflection causes waves to change direction before returning to its origin
—————
(Y/N) felt awful.
Just a day short of being a week since she had shared the fact she knew his secret, Harry had done an incredible job of avoiding and ignoring her. She had called and texted him more than a handful of times, asking for a moment to speak to him and let him know how she felt or at the very least apologize for ambushing him in the middle of class like that. No response was garnered each time.
She even tried mimicking his routine, getting to class early on Monday in hopes of catching him. But, as if Harry knew she had her own plan brewing, he made a point to show up just before Stanfill started lecture, sitting in a seat on the other side of the room closest to an exit. He even adopted the habit of packing up minutes before dismissal so he was able to flee immediately following Stanfill's permission, making it impossible for (Y/N) to catch him before he was gone. Knowing it wasn't a good idea, (Y/N) even peeked on his cam-page, only to find that he had announced a brief break from his streams for the next couple of weeks; he cited being too busy to keep up, but vowed to post extra premium content when he made his return.
It felt like (Y/N)'s entire body adopted an aching cold when she read that. She ached in her joints and feared a throbbing in her head as she deflated before closing the page. She hadn't anticipated a reaction like the one he was giving, and nothing broke her heart more than the fact he was so upset that he had stopped doing his job; this was how he made his money and she had somehow embarrassed him enough into keeping him from putting food on his table.
All she wanted to do was tell him that she didn't think any less of him, that her reaction stemmed from nothing but shock. She didn't feel negatively at all about what he did to take care of himself (she was one of the many viewers who tuned in anyway, so she didn't think she had much say in whether or not it was wrong). She wanted to tell him she was sorry for the way she went about telling him, that she knew she should have waited until they were alone before she brought up something so personal. She wanted to tell him that, if he'd still have her, she wanted to be with him, no matter what he did in his free time.
She just wanted to talk to him.
—————
Sitting in her car, (Y/N) wasn't sure if her hands were sweaty from the ultra high heat that was coming through her vents or the fact that she was parked outside Harry's apartment complex.
After yesterday, when Harry had once again dodged her and quashed any chance of her making amends after lecture, she had broken down and confessed to Ny why she had been so blue for the past week. (Y/N) kept the details close to her chest (Harry's business wasn't something she was willing to share), but spilled to her roommate that she and Harry had gotten into a fight—that was more of a misunderstanding than anything—and he'd been avoiding her since. Ny allowed her to cry out her feelings, stinging tears slipping down (Y/N)'s cheeks through the frustration and guilt that was filling up her system. When she finished, Naomi allowed (Y/N) a moment to breathe before offering her advice.
"You need to go see him. At the very least, you'll get out what you need to say and you'll feel better."
When (Y/N) protested at the thought, Ny cut her off swiftly, her gaze calm and collected.
"The worst that can happen is that he doesn't answer you or talk—and it's not like that hasn't happened already."
(Y/N) had spent the rest of the night and the majority of her lazy Saturday morning processing her roommate's advice. Maybe it was more for her than for Harry, but she wanted him to know that he had taken her reaction the wrong way, and that she supported him no matter his profession.
So, after using all morning to scrounge up the courage to even leave the apartment, it was two in the afternoon by the time she had made it to Harry's complex, and another ten minutes of her contemplating if she made the right choice. Pushing him was the last thing she wanted to do, but she wasn't going to leave things like this with him. If after this, he still wanted to ignore her and let that be the final note of their song, she would let him, but she wanted to try at least before that note played.
Before she could overthink any further, (Y/N) hopped from her car with only the end goal in mind: see Harry.
Her brain worked on autopilot as she traced the familiar path to his apartment. The exposed staircases felt stories higher as she scaled the steps, her heart beating fast enough she worried it would give out the second she saw him. By the time his door came into view, the gilded numbers pinned to the wood, her hands were unbelievably shaky.
At first knock, she garnered no reaction. Nothing could be heard on the other side—no rustling, shuffling of feet, or even the effort to conceal any presence. She had messaged him that she was coming over, but he never responded. For all she knew, he had fled as soon as he got her text in another bid to avoid her. She wouldn't blame him.
Nonetheless, she tried again, resting her forehead on the cool surface as her eyes fluttered closed. After a second, she swore she heard something on the other side, a shuffling of feet over the laminate wood flooring, like Harry was hesitating to cross the space.
"Harry, it's me. I just want to talk to you."
Silence fell again, making (Y/N) want to cry. It would suck if this was the way it was going to end.
She waited another moment, allowing the dwindling hope in her chest to linger for a second before she snuffed it out on the way back to her car. Just as she resigned herself to the lonely trek back home, she heard a deep breath being exhaled inside the apartment. He was right there.
Still, the door remained shut as she heard his voice for the first time in over a week. "If you're here to break up with me, that's... 's fine, I jus'—I don't..."—he plundered his words before he sucked in an audible breath—"I don't need to hear all of it, I understand already. Jus' don't tell anyone. I need this job to get through school and it's harder to keep it if people know."
"Har—"
He didn't give her a moment, immediately cutting her off with his wavering voice, "I-I don't know what y'saw, but I don't want to talk about it. I know 'm weird, or whatever y'think I am, I get it. But, I really need this job, (Y/N), an—"
"Harry," she tried again, breaking through both the door and the self-deprecating tone he had taken on, "I'm not here to break up with you, I just wanted to talk to you. I miss you."
Silence responded to her, leaving only a whisper of a sniffle to be heard on the other side. She wished he would open up, allow her to see him and comfort him. The vision of him with bloodshot, watery eyes was enough to chip at her heart, especially since the sight was still so fresh to her.
"I don't think any differently of you, you know," she continued, "This doesn't change how I feel about you. You're still my Harry." Another sniffle was heard, wilting her further. "You're still my Harry who's a little too good at physics to be normal, and my cuddle buddy, and my best friend. This doesn't change any of that for me."
A beat passed before the doorknob twisted, warning (Y/N) to step back before the door swung open to reveal Harry with watery eyes and flushed cheeks.
Her heart stuttered at the sight of him. She had seen glimpses of him in class, but she feared she was forgetting what it was like to be seen by him, too. She could fall to her knees if she wasn't careful.
"Really?"
She only gave a careful nod, unwilling to trust her voice to work around the lump growing in her throat. Harry's chest shook with a deep breath, his eyes rounded and wide as he took her in. He wouldn't turn her away this far in, right?
(Y/N) felt relief wash over her muscles as he stepped aside, gesturing for her to step inside his apartment. She all but tripped over herself to cross the threshold before he could retract the offer. There was nothing like being enveloped in Harry's scent, seeing all the markers of his presence all around her again. She'd never been more relieved. Now, she just needed to finish the job.
Rounding the corner out of the short hallway that made up his foyer, she stopped in the kitchen. She was hyper aware of the sound of him tailing her on his socked feet, though she didn't feel the warmth of his gaze. Once she turned around, she practically deflated when she realized she was right.
With his eyes on his feet and his hands bundled in a heap in front of him, Harry couldn't even look at her. Despite being so close, he'd never been farther away.
"You know," she started, a feigned light-heartedness in her tone she hoped would infect the space until it was real, "If you're weird for doing those shows, I watched for a couple of months and liked that I saw—so that makes two of us, I guess."
She waited with bated breath until a smile cracked at the corner of Harry's lips, the first sign of anything positive she'd seen from him in days.
"So," he mumbled, voice deep and graveled, "You're not here to break up with me? Or stop seeing me, or stop whatever it is that we're doing?" The full of his bottom lip was trapped between his teeth when he finally peeked a look at her, the flesh being worried between the blunt ends.
"No, of course not. I'm not scared off that easily."
Finally, she was granted with a soft smile blooming across Harry's features. His glossy eyes found hers with a more familiar flush pricking his cheeks. A minute difference was made in his body language, the shift so subtle she wouldn't have noticed if she wasn't so adamant on giving him every inch of her attention. His muscles seemed less tense, leaving him with a slope in his broad shoulders, his hands less restless, and his jaw left without a tick.
"Can I.."—he swallowed as his gaze fell down the length of her body, appraising for anything he had missed—"Is it okay if I hug you?"
"Oh, Harry."
The sigh of his name came as a short warning before she closed the space between them. Her arms wrapped around his neck, peaking up to her tip-toes in an effort to hold him as close as she could. Harry didn't waste a second before dropping his face to snuggle into the crook of her neck, his arms looping around her waist as he melted into her. She felt him sigh against his neck, a contented noise slipping from his clogged throat as he burrowed into her hold.
"Sorry I got so upset," Harry murmured into her skin, his lips close enough to brush her skin and send shivers down her spine, "I never imagined this would go over well with anyone I was close to, like 'm close to you. I know 's really different, so I prepared for the worst, I guess."
(Y/N) shook her head as best she could without disrupting his cuddling form. "Don't be sorry for that. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have confronted you in the middle of class like that."
"'S okay, flower," he whispered into her skin, dotting a gentle kiss against the curve, "I shouldn't've kept it from you, and lied."
Her forgiveness was given in the form of a small press of her lips to his cheek. She gave one more gentle squeeze of her arms around his neck before slowly pulling away. Harry didn't let her get very far with an arm still wrapped around her middle, tugging her along with him as he moved them to his couch.
Once on the cushions, (Y/N) let out an airy laugh as he took the liberty to arrange her how he pleased, too determined to wait for his usual permission. He pulled her legs to drape over his lap though he kept her tucked against his side with his arm now slung over her shoulders. His free hand ran over her legs, following the bend of her knee and sliding up the full of her thigh before doubling back and starting the journey over. (Y/N)'s eyes followed him the whole way, aware of the heavily chipped green polish on his fingers and sore, red cuticles that cushioned his nail beds. She was going to have to give him some TLC, she decided, the sight of his neglected nails making her pout.
"So," Harry started, a smile evident in his voice, "Y'watched me? Liked it—liked me?"
A breathy laugh fell from her lips as her mouth fell open in a gape. He was teasing her—really teasing her. This was the closest she had ever seen him to the man she had known on her computer screen.
Looking up at him, she shook her head, incredulously. "No comment."
Harry's smile turned crooked, a cocky quality taking over the curve that she had never seen from him though she could have pictured H wearing that grin through his shows.
"Its my turn to confess something," (Y/N) piped up, her hands in her lap getting a bit restless at the thought of speaking this aloud.
"Can't be much worse than m'secret, so go for it," Harry laughed, a gentle shrug of his shoulder showing just how at ease he finally was with her. It made her heart glow knowing that he was comfortable with her, even more so than she had thought.
"Well," she sang, her voice lilting around the word, "You know that girl you've privately message with and sent stuff to... for free?"
"Wait," he stopped her, brows pinching as his gaze matched her own bashful one, "How d—... Are you my sweetheart?"
She rolled her lips between her teeth, gently nodding her head in affirmation. "That's me."
Harry's eyes grew wide, the lilypad of his iris glazing over her features in disbelief. "Are y'serious?! I—I didn't see that coming at all," he laughed, his arm on her shoulders tightening, "I guess I don't feel so bad, then. I had a little bit of a crush on that girl, so 's nice knowing it was m'girlfriend."
He was taking everything in stride now, (Y/N) noticed, the blush in his cheeks lacking and his wandering eyes that struggled to settle on her if she gave him too much of her undivided attention now gone. He seemed so much more confident than she had ever seen him—it made her proud.
"You had a crush on me?" she pressed, her fidgeting fingers reaching for the knit of the striped, oversized sweater on his torso.
"I don't know," he shrugged, a shy smile taking his lips, "I thought y'were very gentle and... sweet. Very different to what was going on in the shows and in m'inbox. I liked seeing y'there."
"That's cute, Harry," she cooed, leaning further into him to press a kiss to his flushed neck, "Now, what was that about me being your girlfriend? I didn't know about that." The shy, blushing man (Y/N) had come to know made a flickering reappearance at the sound of her question, Harry trying his best to hide his pink cheeks by pulling away. "No, no," (Y/N) protested through a smile, shifting so she sat squarely on his lap with her legs on either side of his hip so he had no choice but to face her, "Don't leave."
"'M sorry, I guess we never really talked about that either, huh?" he breathed, back to his bashful ways as he kept his gaze trained on his hands as he steadied them on her thighs, "I didn't mean to assume, especially after everything."
(Y/N) shrugged, reaching for his cheeks to cradle in her palms. "It's not much of an assumption if you're right."
His eyes softened to the shade of plush moss as he raised them to match her gaze. His cheeks warmed under her hands, letting her know just how sweetly her words affected him. Harry reached to place his own hands over hers, cupping the back of them with his palms.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Harry's dimples were felt under her hands as he leant forwards and nudged his nose against her own, a gentle brushing of his smiling lips against her mouth as he whispered something to himself she didn't quite catch. She swore she heard him say something about "my girlfriend" with wonder painting his tone.
In the same beat, Harry pulled back with wide eyes, his hands falling from hers to sit on the full of her thighs.
"Wha—"
"You like m'daddy stuff! Y'told me that!"
Now it was (Y/N)'s turn to try and hide from him, shocked that he would take this moment to remember something like that. She let out a whining call of his name as she fell into his chest, abandoning his cheeks as she bundled her hands between their chest.
"You don't have to say it!" she bubbled, her complaint feeling very thin as a smile tainted her tone.
"'M jus' telling the truth. No more secrets, right?" Harry pressed, his tone just as light as her heart felt.
Still, he only wrapped his arms around her form and kept her close to his chest. (Y/N) had never been more relieved to be in his arms.
—————
"I can't believe y'forgot there was another lab this weekend."
"Can you really not believe it, or are you just saying that?"
(Y/N) squeezed her hand around Harry's as she gazed at him from the passenger seat, watching as a playful smile took his features. He gave a gentle shrug as he turned into the parking lot where the others from their lecture were waiting.
Stanfill had arranged another lab that was required if (Y/N) wanted any chance of passing her final, even though she promptly forgot about it after class was dismissed on Monday. Lucky for her, Harry was the best at remembering these kinds of things and reminded her the night before and offered to pick her up, leaving her in a giddy mood for the first time going into a lab.
"You know, now that I think about it," Harry mused, pursing his lips in feigned thought, "Sounds about right."
(Y/N) rolled her eyes as Harry parked in a spot far away from the rest of their peers, the off campus building that Stanfill chose for their labs towering in front of them.
"You're annoying, but I would have failed this class so long ago without you," (Y/N) laughed, eager to clasp Harry's hand in hers again now that he didn't need it to drive.
"I jus' keep y'on track, y'do the rest," Harry countered, happily giving over his hand that was quickly cuddled between her two.
With the sun peering in through the window, Harry was backlit with a buttery glow from the star acting as his aura. His hair framed his face in waving strands, pieces curling around the rim of his glasses he had preemptively perched on his nose when he picked her up. The only thing that made the morning sun dim in comparison was the smile curling around his features with his dimples denting into his cheeks in loving dips.
"What?" he asked, his cheeks tinting pink at her attention.
"Nothing," (Y/N) smiled, twining her fingers between his, "Did you want to come over after this? Naomi is hanging out with Trystan and Oliver later, so we can camp out in the living room without having her walk in."
Harry dropped his gaze to their hands, his skin flushing a brighter pink than she had expected. "I—um—I've actually got to film a little after this."
He barely chanced a glance at her through his lashes as he stumbled through his words. The honesty surrounding his job was still something new for the both of them, especially for Harry to openly speak about. That day at his apartment, he had told her he never shared this secret with anyone, not even his best friend Mitch who he felt like he could tell anything to, making this adjustment period a lot more of an adjustment than he realized.
But, (Y/N) didn't want him to feel weird for telling her any of this. "Well, you can come over whenever you're done, if you want? I was planning on ordering some pizza tonight, so we could have dinner if you're able to make it."
Nothing made her happier than the gentle relief that softened his features whenever she treated him as if he really worked the marketing job he had made up for her. Using his hand in her's, he tugged her towards him, meeting her halfway over the center console.
"Thank you," he whispered, the words just a notch above silent as he dipped his head and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, "I'll definitely be over tonight, flower." Harry indulged her in one more soft kiss, his smile felt against her lips before pulling away. "I think we'd better go; 'm pretty sure we're the last people still out here."
"But, Stanfill isn't even he—" Before (Y/N) could finish, with his free hand, Harry pinched her chin and swiveled her head to where Professor Stanfill had parked with familiar faces from their lecture following after him into the building. "Oh."
"Don't sound so sad, you're making me upset," Harry teased, dropping a kiss to her cheek, "It'll be over before you know it—especially since 'm stealing you as m'partner."
(Y/N) couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she followed after him, finally excited about the prospect of a lab now that she knew Harry was going to be there to help her every step of the way. It was him this time that grabbed her hand when they rounded the front of his car, Harry tugging her along to trail after the main group.
"So," he started, playfully bumping his hip against her's, "Are y'gonna watch tonight? M'show, I mean."
Aside from her confession at his apartment, they hadn't talked much about the fact she was one of his viewers, leaving (Y/N) with a bubbling heat to fill her veins at the nonchalant way he asked.
"Maybe," she teased, mimicking his light-hearted tone, "Are you going to make it good?"
"You'll know if y'tune in, sweetheart."
Oh.
—————
"Harry, do we have to? You can just tutor me later."
(Y/N) felt his pulse pick up from where she had her lips pressed against his neck. Her physics textbook was long forgotten, having fallen into a heap on the floor when she accidentally kicked it off her bed as she moved to sit in Harry's lap. It was his fault—really! He had been the one to start up the game with her.
He had promised he would reward her with kisses after every successful material review, and after every question on their homework she answered correctly. She could argue that he should know by now how distracting these games could be to her; it was never just one kiss, one minute of indulgence. (Y/N) took advantage of his nearness every chance she could.
To be fair, she made it through a few rounds of his game before finally caving in, unable to resist the swollen puff of his raspberry lips and the curling mess that his hair was becoming with every pass of her fingers through the strands. That's how she found herself sat astride his lap, thighs split to fit his hips with her fingers tangled in the front of his sweater and her lips working over the flushed skin of his neck.
"Flower, we—" he gasped, his breathy voice wavering, "I thought y'were nervous for Friday's test? W-We've still got the back page to finish."
"We always have tomorrow to study," she pleaded, her thighs tensing around his lap when his grip on her waist tightened, "Why can't we do this for a little while, instead?" When she didn't receive any response, her desperation turned up a notch. "Please, Harry?"
Her begging finally drew a reaction from him in the shape of his warm hands abandoning her waist and coming up to cradle her cheeks in his palms. A shift appeared in his demeanor, the lines of his body growing sturdy as he took control.
"C'mere then, and kiss me properly."
(Y/N) didn't hesitate before she melted into him, willing to move in whatever position he wanted. She hummed into his mouth as he pet his thumbs over the height of her cheekbones, sealing his mouth onto hers in languid motions. He guided her through the kiss with her bottom lip tucked between his two, sweeping the tip of his tongue gently across the full of the pillow. His hands on her cheeks anchored her to the moment as he pulled her deeper and deeper with every re-angling of his lips and cant of his head.
With her hands on his chest, (Y/N) grappled for a hold as she became breathless the longer he had his mouth buttoned to hers. She swore she felt his heart beating a mile a minute under her palms.
"Harry," she sighed against him, his name sweet on her tongue.
A satisfied smile crooked his lips, the curl almost enough to keep him from properly kissing her before he strengthened the cradle of his hands on her cheeks. Though he had been sampling her taste with his tongue brushing over her bottom lip, with the sigh that slipped from her throat, he took it as an invitation to taste her in heavy sweeps. He snuck his tongue into her mouth, playing with her own before indulging in her fragrance. With every kiss, it felt like he was stealing the breath from her lungs, leaving a honey-thick glaze to drip through (Y/N)'s system that urged her to cling to him like he was the oxygen she was seeking.
Harry dropped his hands from her cheeks, finding the rounded curves of her hips with his palms instead. He shifted, bending his knees behind her to make a steadying nest of his limbs around her. At the movement, the rest of their books and notes went tumbling down onto her floor, with the clatter of what (Y/N) was sure was either his or her phone following after. She was momentarily distracted by the ruckus, attempting to pull away from Harry's kiss to make sure none of their things were damaged.
Raising one of his hands from her hips to pinch her chin, Harry stopped her from moving too far. "No," he mumbled, a small shake of his head following after with the tip of his nose nudging hers, "Gotta finish what y'started, flower."
Her concern dissolved like sugar at his words. She only gave a small sigh of his name, or at least the beginning of it before falling back into his kiss. (Y/N) wrapped her arms gently around his neck, her fingertips curling into the baby hairs that were fluffed on the back of his neck. She felt more than comfortable in his arms, his kiss something that was able to soothe her while still pulling the air from her lungs and urging her to beg for more. Her head was up in the clouds, with only thoughts of Harry with every sweep of his tongue across her own. (Y/N) had been lulled into contentment when she felt a glimpse of Harry's teeth against her bottom lip, the bite gentle while sending a sharp shiver to straighten her spine.
(Y/N) repeated the breathy call of his name, Harry happily swallowing the note with his own mouth as he soothed the bite with his tongue and affectionate kisses.
"Yeah, flower? 'M right here," he teased her, voice a low secret between them.
Her thighs tensed around his hips at the sound of his gravel deep voice with her fingers unconsciously tightening in his hair. From her vantage point on his lap, she was suddenly aware of the tent in his trousers underneath her. She couldn't stop herself before sinking deeper on his lap, allowing the bulge to press into her softness through her leggings.
If she thought his kiss was taking her breath away, nothing prepared her for the light-headed quality that settled over her at the feel of his cock against her core.
Harry seemed to sense she needed a moment to collect herself before she passed out in his arms. He dragged his mouth away from hers, his swollen lips trailing over her jawline before picking tender spots on her neck to lap and bite at.
"You know," he started, voice muffled against a particularly tender patch of skin behind her ear she could tell he was sucking a mark into, "I've thought about y'before filming or starting a show to get hard."
(Y/N) felt as if she had traded places with Harry, becoming the easily jostled one as he was now the man she had come to know through her computer screen. This was H teasing her and telling her just how much he desired her body.
Sucking in a deep breath, (Y/N)'s head fell back. Her back arched with her hair tumbling down behind her, breasts pushed against the broad of Harry's chest. Her hands in his hair had reflexively ran through the strands, tightening in the curls in hopes of steadying her racing heart.
"Really?" she squeaked out, her eyes fluttering shut at the idea of him picturing her before the shows she got off to.
"Mhm," he hummed, a smug smile felt against her skin as he dotted his lips against the lovebite he no doubt curated behind her ear. He slid down her neck, finding the tender curve that slipped into her shoulder before sinking his teeth into the flesh. "Made getting through them really easy," he murmured, voice fanning over her heated skin, "Would have been even easier if I had known I was talking to the girl of m'dreams during—even if it was through a screen."
The fact that she had tuned into his shows wasn't something that was brought up very seriously between them. Harry more liked to tease her, prodding her with sly remarks about how he knew just what she liked, asking if she was going to be watching his show that night, or whatever he could to bring a warmth to her skin and a bashful drop to her features. She'd never heard him bring it up so seriously; she'd never heard him confess to liking the fact that she used to watch him. The idea made her thighs clench and something deep in her core to tighten.
She couldn't stop herself before (Y/N) was dragging her hips over his in slow runs, the motions minute enough that it was more torturous that relieving. Harry seemed more than pleased with her reaction. His hand that had been stationed on her neck traced down the side of her form in a lingering run. He followed the swell of her breast and the curve of her waist before landing on the thick of her thigh. His arm around her waist locked in place as he pulled away from the matching lovebite he was pressing into a new spot on her neck.
"Hang onto me, sweetheart," he murmured, dipping his head to press his cheek against hers.
Without question, (Y/N) followed his instruction, looping her arms around his neck just a moment before having her world flipped around in one swift motion. Whatever other study materials had been clinging to her bed were effectively dismissed, leaving the full of her bed to the two of them. (Y/N) was left with her back pressed into her mattress, tufts of her duvet waving around her like clouds with Harry hovering above her like an angel with swollen lips and hungry eyes.
Harry didn't waste a second before resuming the art he was making on her neck, colorful splotches forming an embedded necklace in her skin. "You're s'fucking hot, (Y/N)," he groaned into the dip of her collarbone, "I couldn't get y'out of m'head when I was in front of the camera."
She keened into him, hitching her leg around his hip with her arms still stationed around his neck. "Harry, I—"
His teeth sinking into her skin effectively cut her off, the sharp glint freezing her muscles before allowing a burning relief to pump through her system. A much too satisfied smirk took over Harry's features, the lopsided curve felt clearly through the tender patch of skin he was paying his attention to.
"What was that, sweetheart? Y'want to tell me something?"
With her mouth open in a slight gape, (Y/N) floundered for her words. She barely got out the syllables of his name before her thoughts died on her tongue, leaving him to fight off a smug smile pressed into her skin. All she could concentrate on was the feel of his hands plucking at the hem of her hoodie, slipping underneath the fabric to land on the bones of her hips. His fingers curled around her form, his thumbs petting over her pelvis.
"Y'want to know what I would think about when I got myself off? Want to know all the things I wished I could do with you?"
She gave out a gasp as he bit at the soft skin of her neck, her hands reaching to grasp tightly at his shoulders. She nodded her head in short jerks, eyes fluttering shut.
A breathy laugh fanned over her skin, (Y/N) able to imagine just the self-satisfied smile that Harry was surely sporting. "I used to think about you," he mused, adjusting his grip on her hips to slide his fingers into the waist of her leggings, "about filming with you."
He tucked his fingertips under the tight fabric of her pants, the spandex curling over itself under the force of his hands. The blunt of his nails slid smoothly over her thighs the further down he pushed the fabric. (Y/N) wasn't even sure what her body was reacting to when her stomach clenched and her hands on his shoulders tightened to a piercing grip: his words or his touch?
"F-Filming with me?" she whispered, voice broken under the weight of her pleasure.
"Mhm," Harry hummed, abandoning the string of lovebites he made to decorate her neck and sliding to lay between her spread legs. His feet hung off the edge of her small bed, the same bed she had unknowingly fantasized about him in after watching his H character on screen. "I wanted to have a video of you all for myself. See what it looked like when I took care of you."
Before she realized it, Harry had her leggings off her body and balled up in a pile on the floor as he sat on his knees before her. She was left in only her panties, the weighted air that was developing around the room coming to lay over her. Using his solid grip on her legs, he raised her ankles to be level with his face. A sidelong glance was delivered in her direction as Harry dipped his head down and pressed small kisses to the bones of her ankles, his hands following after as he slowly worked his way upwards to lay on his stomach between her thighs. He brushed his lips against the sensitive skin, his nose skimming along as he kept his eyes trained on her face.
"I thought about this," he murmured, words smeared against the inside of her thigh as his hands squeezed the flare of her hips, "Having y'there with me, legs spread for me jus' like this." He fiddled with the waistline of her panties, tugging at the delicate seams that stitched the satin together. With his eyes still watching for her reactions, gazing at her through the frame of his lashes, Harry moved to plant a gentle kiss on the base of her stomach, just above the line of her underwear.
(Y/N)'s tummy jumped at the tickling feel of his kiss, her breath catching in her throat. The curls of his hair worked as their own stimulant, brushing over her skin in feather-light brushes that made her skin feel tight under his attention. Her hands had since retreated to the tufts of duvet around her, leaving her to clench the fabric roughly between her fingers.
"Harry, I—Please," she gasped, unsure of anything else other than she wanted him to keep going.
A breathy laugh fell from his lips, his amusement fanning across her heated skin. "Everyone would get to see how gorgeous y'are. How pretty y'look with me. They'd see how good y'are for me, too."
(Y/N) almost wanted to whine when he pulled his face away from the apex of her thighs, watching as he moved to lay his head with his cheek pressed into the plush of her thigh. For the first time since situating himself between her legs, Harry's eyes drifted from her own to land on one of his hands playing with her panties. He looked so casual in his position, as if he wasn't playing a teasing game with her.
"Were these expensive, sweetheart?"
She blanched at his sudden subject change, dropping her gaze to where he tugged at her underwear with complete focus. "No, b—"
"Are these your favorite?"
"N-no, wh—"
Before she could finish any of her questions, Harry fisted his hands around the seams of her underwear and snapped the thread holding it all together. The misshapen fabric lay in tatters before he tugged it away from her body and threw it to join the pile of her leggings.
Her eyes went wide at the sight of him, his muscles clear even under the layer of his hoodie concealing his form. While she knew this was Harry—all of the teasing remarks and strong points of dominance—she still couldn't believe this was her Harry. He used to blush every time she looked at him and struggled with holding her hand for a month, and now he was ripping her panties because he couldn't wait even a second longer to see all of her.
He didn't waste a second before he dipped his head and pressed small kisses to her hips, his hands rucking up her hoodie to settle in the curve of her waist. "I thought about this all the time," he murmured, words dripping over her skin like honey though it was never enough to quell any of the tightness in her tummy, "Getting to take y'like this. Have everyone see how perfect y'are and how much I adore you. You'd be the star."
(Y/N) hadn't realized her eyes had fluttered closed until she felt his hands reaching for hers in the bundles of bedding around her. He gently took her wrists, startling her into blinking her bleary eyes open. He brought her hands to slip into his hair and anchor her to the moment, his gaze matching hers through the crown of his lashes. His warmth radiated into her palms, giving her another thing to focus on that was just Harry.
Harry kissed his way from her hips to her core, "What do y'think, flower? Haven't got a lot to say right now, do you?"
There was just a ghost of a smug smile on his lips before he settled further into her mattress and pressed a smearing kiss to her clit. (Y/N) jumped in her spot, ill-prepared for the jolt that went up her spine at the feel of his lips on her pussy. She was grateful for the hold she had on his hair, especially when the tug she gave elicited a rumbling groan from the back of his throat. He had to fight to keep his eyes open as she felt his tongue swipe through her folds, the tip parting her slit and allowing him a taste. His arms wrapped around her thighs from underneath, giving Harry a grip along the sensitive inside as her legs pillowed his head.
"Hm, sweetheart?" he prodded, his voice feeling heavy on her wetness.
"I—oh my god—What about your face?" she gasped, unsure of what exactly was coming out of her mouth, "Pe-People would see you."
Though he had pressed her for a response, Harry didn't interrupt himself for even a second to answer her. He flattened his tongue against her clit and nuzzled into her, nose skimming her mound. Her thighs tensed in his hands, her muscles bunching together before he dipped his tongue lower and prodded at her clenching opening. He stroked her in tight runs with the broad of his tongue, lapping through her folds. His arms around her legs allowed him to press her tightly against his face, his nose buried against her clit with his chin growing wet with her slick.
Harry pulled away with a deep breath, his eyes never leaving the mess he was making between her legs. His face glistened in the lowlight of her bedroom as he abandoned his hold on one of her thighs and traced his fingers around her pussy. (Y/N)'s toes curled into the bedding that surrounded his sides, her own bucking up against his fingers.
"Don't worry about me, sweetheart," he mumbled, voice raw and breathless, "I don't care if they see me—I don't care as long as its with you."
(Y/N) had almost forgotten what he was talking about having had her lungs squeezed of air and thoughts left tainted with only one name. But, the reminder that he wanted to film her—film himself eating her out—tugged at the knot in her stomach and further tangled her nerve-endings.
"Oh my—Harry," she gasped, fingers tight in his hair.
"Yeah?" he smiled, a smug curl to his lips, "Y'like that idea, sweetheart? Want to be my video girl and have everyone see jus' how well I take care of you?"
She wasn't even aware she was nodding her head until Harry breathed a laugh against her, his fingers still prodding and poking in teasing runs at her pussy. She never thought she'd be into something like that, honestly, never having had the desire to film herself doing anything intimate. But the way Harry described it, like it was a dedication to how much he adores her and a way to show off how well she was taken care of, changed everything. It didn't feel so dirty the way he talked about it.
Maybe it was nothing other than the lust glazing her mind, but (Y/N) almost wished there was a camera on them now to record the first time they indulge themselves in one another.
"You're so cute, flower—makes me want to fuck y'so hard," Harry laughed into her skin.
He dotted a single kiss to the inside of her thigh before ducking into her pussy. He brought his lips to her clit, kissing at the bud and lapping with his tongue while two of his fingers edged at her opening. She felt him everywhere, surrounded by every bit of his presence. If only she could kiss him at the same time, but she figured his efforts were better spent elsewhere.
"You're not gonna tell me, sweetheart?" he teased, referencing his question that still had no answer. His lips smeared over her clit, muffling his words, "That's okay. Y'can tell me later how much y'love it when y'can think properly again."
(Y/N) wanted to be embarrassed with how out of it she was, how she wasn't able to form much of a thought with Harry all over her, but she had much more pleasant things to worry about.
Harry shuffled on the bed between her legs, taking his fingers from her for just a second so he could throw her legs over his shoulders. "Ready, flower?" he hummed, taking his two fingers and prodding at her tight entrance.
"Please, please," (Y/N) whined, breathless as she chanced a look at him. She barely caught the edge of his self-satisfied smile before he dipped his head and worked his tongue through her folds and over her clit just as he slipped his fingers inside.
It was a snug fit, (Y/N) realized, his fingers much larger than her own that she had been utilizing for the better part of the last year. She keened at the contact, his fingertips expertly finding the spongy spot by her entrance others had struggled to find even after multiple sessions with her. Her gasping breaths attempted to form the sound of his name as he sucked her clit between his lips while his fingers inside her curled against her spot, but she barely got past the first syllable before it died on her tongue. Her toes curled against his back and hips bucked into his face, Harry moaning against her form with each show of pleasure she made.
With a particularly harsh stroke of his fingers, Harry lingered on the soft spot on her walls, circling his fingertips over the delicate flesh as best he could through her tightness. Along with the feel of his nose buried in her wetness and her clit tucked between his lips, (Y/N) didn't know how much longer she was going to last.
"Harry!" she cried, her back arching with her breasts brushing against the cotton lining the inside of her hoodie, "I—Oh, I'm—"
"Yeah, 'm right here, sweetheart," he murmured, his breath coming out in pants the few times he managed to pull away, "That your spot? Did I find it?"
Harry didn't let up for even a second now that he got her sloppy confirmation, her panting breaths and bucking hips enough to tell him everything he needed to know. Each thrust of his fingers inside was just foreplay for the moment he made contact with the spongy spot, taking every moment of reprieve from (Y/N) until she was close enough to the edge she worried she was going to explode.
He sucked tightly at her clit before popping off, a wet noise resounding from his lips. "Y'close, sweetheart? I can feel y'squeezing me."
"Uh-huh," she whined, nodding her head with her hair a messy halo laid out on her pillow, "So close."
"Gonna make y'cum so hard, flower," he bragged, stopping the strokes of his fingers until he was focused solely on massaging her g-spot.
The constant attention on her soft spot, along with the feel of smearing kisses and dragging sucks placed on her clit was enough to elevate (Y/N) to another level she had never been on. It felt like her body was squeezing everything out of her: the air in her lungs, the tears in her ducts, and the slick that dripped from inside her. Harry's fingers kept her plugged though she worried for the burst that was bound to happen.
"H-Harry, wait," she breathed, her grip on his hair weak now that she was focused on keeping everything in though it begged to burst out of her, "It's t-too much, hold on."
Harry only shook his head, his tongue lapping over her clit before pulling away with a pop. "No, 's okay, sweetheart. Keep going, jus' let it out, yeah? Don't hold it in."
"B-But—"
"Cum for daddy, sweetheart."
Something triggered in her the second she had heard the words she had only heard through her speakers before then. She allowed her body to both clench and release at the same time; her lungs were left empty, her voice broken, with tears leaking from the corner of her eyes while the rest of her body was left with tightly coiled muscles. Harry pulled his fingers from her pussy, leaving one last place for her to release.
(Y/N) couldn't keep track of everything she was feeling as her vision descended to a white glare behind her eyelids. The only reason she knew Harry was still with her was the fact she could feel his hair between her fingers and the faint feeling of his breath washing over her slit. He hadn't been joking when he told her he was going to make her cum hard.
Her fingers and toes felt sore as she came down, the appendages having been curled so tightly that her bones felt brittle as she released the position. Air came to her in deep pants and choked sighs though she struggled to open her eyes at all. Cooling tear tracks could be felt dripping from the seams of her eyes and into her hairline. She was sensitive to everything.
Especially the feel of Harry pressing wanton kisses to her pussy, even though she was clearly out of commission for the rest of the night.
"Harry, st-stop," she croaked out, using the leverage she held in his hair to pull him back, "I'm too—It's too much."
Managing to finally peel her eyes open, she peeked down at him through her hazy vision. Her heart stopped when she caught sight of the drips falling from his chin, his cheeks and nose shining in the same slick that glazed his lips. Even the collar of his hoodie was darkened and damp with what (Y/N) was too scared to admit was from her.
All the while, the lopsided smile on Harry's face never wavered, satisfaction coloring his features.
"I made y'squirt."
Her mouth fell in a gape, drawing her hands from his hair to bundle at her middle as she felt shy all of the sudden. She wished she could close her thighs, conceal Harry's view, but she knew better than to try with him still between her.
"I-I... Harry, I've never," she floundered, her voice just a hair above a whisper.
"I know." His hands massaged at her thighs, the sensitive insides left coated in slick and dripping just like her core.
She was mortified. (Y/N) didn't even know her body could do something like that, but of course the first time it happens is all over Harry's face. No one liked a face full of cum without warning.
"I'm so sorry, I-I can't believe th—"
"Why are y'sorry, silly?" Harry laughed, pressing a goodbye kiss to the inside of her thigh before abandoning the space between her legs. He fit his hips against her's, uncaring of the wetness that was no doubt going to stain his sweatpants. He settled in above her with a grin on his lips, dimples deep in his shining cheeks. Swiping a hoodie covered hand over the bottom half of his face, Harry wiped away the remains of her dripping arousal, "I don't know why you're apologizing to me. I was trying to do that—I liked it."
"You were?" she murmured, eyes rounding out as she gazed up at him.
"Mhm," he hummed, reading to cradle her cheek with his clean hand, "Y'think that happened on accident?"
"I just...I never thought I could do that," she breathed, sinking into the bed below her.
"Hm," Harry hummed, feigning a guise of thought, "We'll jus' have to find out what else y'can do then, won't we?"
"I guess so," she laughed, her eyes fluttering closed as she fisted his hoodie in her palms.
Harry dropped a short kiss to her lips, the contact innocent despite what had just transpired between them. She could feel his smile through the kiss, Harry lingering for just a second before slowly detangling himself from her. "Ny's still out, right?"
"Yeah, why?" she yawned, finally closing her legs now that he wasn't blocking her from doing so.
"'M going to grab something to clean y'up with. I'll be right back, flower."
(Y/N) only nodded her head and sighed as she settled in her bedding. She felt warm all over, from the tips of her aching toes to the messy hair at the top of her head. Her skin was bare, but she felt the cover of Harry's affection seeping into her bones and swathing her like a blanket or his arms around her body.
Harry returned moments later, stripped from his hoodie to leave the white t-shirt he had on underneath the only thing covering his torso. His face was clean and fresh looking, with only the smallest smears of wetness darkening his grey sweatpants revealing what had happened not even ten minutes earlier. A damp flannel was held in his hand as he toed away her discarded clothes that littered the floor.
"Stay still for me, love," he mumbled to her as he dropped to his knees at the edge of her bed. He gently pried her thighs open, his hands soft and tender as he moved her. He kept her steady when she jumped at the first contact with the washcloth, a stutter in her breath occurring. "Y'feel alright? I didn't push y'too hard, did I? I know y'asked me to slow down, but I knew it would feel so good for y'if I kept going."
"No, no," she shook her head, playing with the strings on her hoodie as she peeked down at him, "I just wasn't expecting it that's all. It felt good."
(Y/N) became hyper aware of the fact he still hadn't cum tonight when something hungry flashed over his eyes. "Can't wait to see y'do it again," he murmured, his eyes fixing to where he was cleaning her up.
"Not tonight," she laughed, twirling the hoodie string over her finger, "I don't know if you could tell, but I think I'm out of order for the rest of the night. And, we need to do some laundry before Ny comes home, I think."
"Maybe," he smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to the inside of her knee before standing to the full of his height, "All clean. Let me grab y'some clothes."
(Y/N) directed him to one of her drawers in her dresser, where a pair of burgundy sweats were folded on top. She expected him to go hunting for another pair of underwear for her, only for him to resume his position at her feet and help her into the comfortable pants.
"Ready?" he asked once he had the elastic waistband tucked against her hips.
"Mhm, thank you," (Y/N) smiled, sitting up though her posture was still a bit shaky.
A crooked smile took Harry's features as he looked up at her. "Can I have a kiss before we start some laundry?"
With her hands cradling his cheeks, (Y/N) happily pressed her lips against his own. The kiss was tender and sweet, the polar opposite to the person he was between her legs.
But, she knew that was still her Harry, no matter what side decided to share with her.
—————
It was routine now the way (Y/N) consistently copied off of Harry's notes. She didn't even bother listening to Stanfill anymore now that she had a much more competent teacher beside her.
Harry was always well aware of her wandering eyes finding his paper. He never failed to give her a good view of his notes and let her take a lingering peek whenever there was something longer he had written down. But, Harry was still much faster than she was typing in her version of his notes, allowing him to be almost a full page ahead of her at any given time.
That was why she hadn't even noticed he had stopped taking proper notes, until she came to the section he was working on. The heading was titled with her name, a rudimentary heart floating in the space beside it. Underneath was a list of compliments and suggestions he had for how they should use their free time after class.
-you look really pretty.
-after this, we should hide in your car for a little while and kiss before you go home. and I know you're going to tell me no because you don't want me to be late to class, but I don't care.
-I adore you
When she peeked up to look at him, a warmth blooming behind her cheeks, she found Harry facing forward with his teeth biting back his smile. His face was dusted into a light pink when he felt her eyes on him, dimples denting deeper into his cheeks. He'd been waiting for her to notice.
"You know," (Y/N) whispered, reaching across to be level with his ear, "We could kiss right now. Why wait til after class."
Though he was smiling, his blush climbing to the tips of his ears, he hushed her. "Don't tempt me," he warned, though (Y/N) figured it wasn't much of an unappealing threat.
Nonetheless, she pressed a quick kiss to his heated cheek, just at the very corner of his lips.
"(Y/N)..."
"Do we have any questions back there, Mr. Styles?"
Stanfill's voice boomed throughout the lecture hall, Harry straightening his posture at the sound. He didn't lose the glowing smile on his lips, (Y/N) noticed, the curl only growing when he reached across and settled his hand on her thigh under the cover of the table.
"No, sir."
Even when Professor Stanfill hmph'd and continued on with his monotonous lecture, (Y/N) couldn't look away from the blushing boy beside her. To think she had dreamed about him for months—all facets of him—and now he was hers.
Maybe she did like her Physics class.
—————
thank u all so much for reading with me and sticking through this series it means so much to me!! if you have any ideas or requests or just want to talk, you can find me on my Tumblr @ moonchildstyles