the antiseptic burned my sliced skin as i tried to execute a pitiful attempt of bruce's medical aid.
i was no doctor, only a human who loved too much and had too much pride to go seek help since steve rogers laid on a hospital bed getting aided by bruce and my discomfort ruled my physical state out and decided i could handle it.
my teeth gritted and clattered against eachother like dishes and soap as they dug into my bottom lip that the familiar metallic taste wandered along my taste buds.
"shitting my dick right now." i lowly groaned before wrapping and applying sloppily along my abdomen some gauze and taping it.
a smirk played against my plump lips as i appreciated my diy medical repair that i had successfully preformed.
"you ever thought about going into the medical field with that skill y/n?" the infamous bucky barnes called out to me as his bulky self leaned against my beige painted doorframe.
"oh for sure. if you look hard enough, you can see where i'm losing circulation." i shared as i witness the tape constricting blood flow for my lower half was now turning blue.
a low chuckle comes from his lips as i attempt to fix up my botched up injury fix.
"do you need a hand.?" he requested as he stepped closer into my bedroom.
"does it look like i need help?" i teased as a little "ow" falls from my plump lips from putting too much pressure once again.
"do you really want me to answer that or would you like to maintain plausible deniability for later?" the chestnut haired man suggested before i flipped him off and signaled him to help me.
his heavy steps along my marble floor shook my room almost as he soon towered over me.
i looked up as my hazel eyes soon squinted wondering why he wasn't doing anything but, only transfixed into my gaze.
soon, he picked me up effortlessly like mannequin at a boutique awaiting to be dressed. i flinched as the coldness of his polished arm carefully laid against my bare hip.
my bare thighs only clothed by some shorts causing the coldness from the countertop to be felt.
he then unraveled my dull-witted attempt of fixing my injury. my eyes soon glossed over in sorrowful thoughts of how selfish i was.
as bucky aided me, he looked at me as a solemn expression clouded his scarred but, handsome face.
"steve told me what happened." he soon spoke as he trailed off almost pitying the outcome of steve and i.
"ya don't say." i mimicked back as i felt hot in my face due to embarrassment.
his naive smile soon floods his expression as i know he will only say im too "thick skulled."
"doll, what steve did was wrong. i understand you didn't go see bruce because he was in there." he quickly verified with me as my locks of loose hair nodded along side my head.
as he finally finished up his intricate work, he laid his cold hand against my jawline. my eyes looked into his for an answer of hope that steve loved me.
that he didn't use me for his pleasure, or that he was just confused and combative nature he held against me when i told him my adoration for him was only fear.
"he loves peggy, buck. not me or anyone else." my eyes wept as my head quickly fell into bucky's shoulder in an attempt to calm down.
"steve is a lost man. sometimes i wonder if he's coming down with alzheimer's or not." bucky groans out ask i laugh at his brutal joke.
"it's just he was so angry buck. i've never seen him so mad before. he looked at me with so much malice and disgust. i only told him that i loved him." i expressed to bucky as he shook his head listening to me.
"he's being stupid. he was never taught to love." bucky quickly replied as he trailed his cold finger along my bloodied lip.
"neither was i. maybe this whole love shit, isn't my thing." i stated wiping my eyes of any pathetic tears.
bucky soon looked at me so infatuated with me. his pupils blown almost as if he had seen the mona lisa in person.
soon his lips met my bloodied ones, my eyes slowly closed as i held him.
his kiss was different than steve's. steves was rough and lustful. bucky's was soft and divine like the purest angel.
"i adore you." bucky hesitated as he looked down almost fearful that i would only yell at him.
"buck-
"no i understand if you don't want me. i rushed it, i should asked for your consent-
i slammed my lips into his to shut him up because james buchanan barnes oh how i adored you.
—
my eyes fell upon the sight of bucky and her.
her lips so desperate to be on his while his hands roamed her like she was a sculpture made by michelangelo.
soon, the door shut as a furious red head glared at me.
"you leave them the fuck alone, rogers. you're a piece of shit you know.? she cried for months because you yelled at her for loving you." natasha rage fully confronted me as her finger stabbed into my chest.
"i know-
only to be soon cut off,
"no you don't know. she was so hopelessly in love with you but, all you saw was a quick fuck. bucky would always look at her like she was what his dreams consisted of, you prick." natasha angrily spoke as she finally delivered a hard slap alongside my cheek.
"so you leave them, the fuck alone."
she then stormed away as i looked at the hardwood floor regretful of what i did.
i was just too scared to love.