A.N: So last month was Inksgiving over on tapas and we hit the goal for a free release of RtH's christmas special! I'm a bit late to posting it here, but I figured you guys deserved to read it to. If you want to read more extras from RtH and my other books, check out my patreon on my profile!
As much as Stefan liked his hearing aids, sometimes noise became too much. Especially during the Christmas season, when the shopping malls were packed with people and their screaming children. So, he would turn his aids off and wander through the densely packed in as much peace as he could get.
He had a list, a few shops he had to go to, then he could be back in his apartment with Renee, where it was quiet without the need to turn off his hearing aids. He'd bought every gift except one, the one he was struggling the most with. Hugo's.
His first thought had been a set of photos of the two of them together, but Hugo already had so many. It would be a cheap gift, thoughtless. It was their first Christmas together, he had to make sure that the gift was as perfect as it could be.
But no matter how hard he looked, he wasn't able to find anything that could possibly suit how he felt about his boyfriend. If there was anything, it had probably already been bought by the hundreds of other shoppers around him. He had left it too late, even though he'd been searching for months.
With three days til Christmas, Renee had shoved him out of the apartment, half laughing and half irritated, with the order not to come back until he had something he could give to Hugo. As if Stefan wasn't worried enough. If he had nothing, how bad would Hugo feel? The man was already dealing with enough anxiety, he wasn't going to make it worse.
His final stop in the shopping mall before he gave up and went with the dumb photo idea was a generic home store, one he had bought most of his furniture from. He didn't know why he decided that was one of the stores he wanted to check, but it was better than nothing.
Hugo had been with him for months now, just over half a year, and it was good. So much better than he had ever expected it to be, not that he had expected to actually be with Hugo in the first place. He had believed the man to be too anxious, too caught up in his recovery to try a relationship. He had been pleasantly surprised.
And Hugo was about to be unpleasantly surprised if Stefan didn't hurry up and find him something.
He wasn't going to see him for Christmas. Both of them had decided to spend it with their families, despite the invitation for Hugo to spend it at Stefan's. It would be better for him, but apparently his father was trying. Stefan still expected to get a text sometime in the early afternoon asking to come over.
The workers in the furniture store were busy, faces flushed as they rushed around trying to help all the customers. Stefan waved one away, bothering to sign for only a second before he remembered that they wouldn't understand him. He'd gotten too used to being around Renee and Hugo, too used to people who actually bothered to learn his language.
It was probably the quietest shop in the mall and he took a moment to breathe in the temporary peace. He was able to walk down the aisles without knocking into another person, eyes skirting over decorative items that would never suit Hugo's tiny apartment.
A photo it would have to be. What kind could he possibly give him that he didn't already have? In a photo album on Hugo's bookshelf were photos of them together, of them with Renee, of Hugo alone and smiling, or with his slowly growing group of friends. There were no other photos he could give him that wouldn't seem like he hadn't put any thought into the gift. He was a photographer, but he didn't want it to be his only trait.
He stopped when he caught sight of something small and pale. A tiny box that appeared to have no opening, but sat calm and serene on the shelf. Stefan frowned down at it, reading the label with curious eyes. A noise machine, designed to calm someone when they're trying to sleep.
Immediately, Stefan remembered all the nights Hugo would wake up from nightmares, eyes wide and face pale. He would have to sit and watch the TV for a while, unable to handle the silence that came with the night. Maybe something like a noise machine would help. It wouldn't be a solution, but he might be able to sleep a little easier.
The time between paying for the little box and making it back to his car was a blur. Relief flowed through him as he sat in the front seat, staring at the gift he would spend far too long wrapping that afternoon. Renee would laugh at him, probably tease him for buying something so tiny, but at least he had bought something.
-
Christmas Eve came faster than he expected it to. He had been lucky to get the time off from work, although that had taken more of an argument than he would have liked. His boss was a jerk, and that was being polite.
The tiny amount of gifts they'd bought sat under their old tree. Hugo's weren't there yet, but he hadn't even arrived to drop them off. Last time Stefan had heard from him, he'd been on a cramped train trying to get there. He wouldn't arrive for another twenty minutes or so, leaving Stefan to pace awkwardly in the middle of the room.
Renee sat on the couch, typing away on her laptop and occasionally glancing at him in irritation. "I swear to God, Stefan," she muttered and shot him a glare. "It's Christmas Eve, we're supposed to be happy and celebrating. Stop your pacing. It'll be fine."
"What if he doesn't like it?" Stefan asked, voice soft like a child's.
"Then you take him out during the Boxing Day sales and get him to pick what he wants. Problem solved," she replied, as if it wasn't a big deal. It was a big deal. What was he supposed to do if the person he loved didn't enjoy their first Christmas together?
Renee sighed and patted his shoulder, a small smile on her face. "It's going to be fine, I promise. I don't think you could ever disappoint him," she said.
As if the universe heard her words, the buzzer to their apartment went off. Stefan stayed planted to the couch, anxiety gnawing at his stomach still. Renee waved at the tiny camera near the door and shot a sly grin Stefan's way. He could have groaned and flipped her the bird, but he was too busy keeping in the contents of his stomach.
There was a knock at the door barely a minute later. Under the tiny Christmas tree sat the hastily wrapped gift he bought and once again, he thought it wasn't enough. He'd bought it at the last minute, as if Hugo were nothing more than a friend he had forgotten about and not the man he loved.
Then Hugo was in front of him, frowning down at him in concern. He hadn't even heard Renee open the door, let alone hear her greet their friend. She was no longer in the room either, probably disappeared into her bedroom to give him a free moment to stop being a dumbass.
"Renee said you weren't having a good day," Hugo signed as he sat down on the couch next to him.
"I'm just a bit anxious, that's all," he replied and huffed a laugh. "I didn't even hear you come in."
Hugo was still frowning. He should have been smiling, should have been his usual, stunning self that Stefan had a hard time looking away from. "We could do this a different day, if you're not feeling up to it," he told him.
"No!" he exclaimed, wincing when Hugo startled. That was the last thing he wanted. Hugo knew him well enough by now, and knew to give him space when he was in a bad mood so that neither of them would have to deal with Stefan's temper. "I want you here. Stay, please."
A hand reached between them and Stefan smiled, grabbing it with his own. Hugo was always warm, even in the middle of winter. Stefan would curl against his side most nights they spent together, barely needing the blankets to keep him warm. Holding his hand reminded him of that, soothed him.
"If you're sure," Hugo signed, struggling to do so with a single hand. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Stefan shook his head. "I'm just overthinking things, that's all. I didn't mean to worry you," he said and tugged at Hugo until his head was resting against his shoulder. Something shifted between them, falling into the small gap between their legs. A neatly wrapped present, his name written in Hugo's neat print.
"I'm nervous about this too, you know," Hugo told him, humming against Stefan's shoulder and burrowing closer. "I've never been very good at buying gifts for people."
Of course Hugo could see right through him. "You don't need to worry about that, I'm just happy you're here," he whispered.
Hugo swatted his stomach, the first place he could reach. "Sap." The word was rough, like most of what Hugo said. His voice was always rough with disuse, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Stefan cherished it with all the rest, adding it to the growing list of words he'd heard Hugo say.
I did. Thank you. You're an idiot. Stay with me. Hello. Sap.
All of them made Stefan light up as if they stoked a fire in his gut. He pressed a kiss to Hugo's forehead, a silent 'thank you' for trusting him enough with his words. His partner hummed again, arm draped over Stefan's waist, holding just tight enough to keep him there.
"Are you good now, Stefan? No more pointless panicking?" Renee asked, her voice drifting out from behind the closed door of her bedroom. "Can you do what we planned to do now?"
"I'd hardly say it was pointless," he replied, but all he got in response was a glare from Renee when she opened her door. Little huffs of laughter filled the silence that followed and he sighed at the noise, pulling Hugo closer.
"I'm glad you're feeling better," Renee said and dropped down onto the couch next to them. He wasn't completely better, but having Hugo with him helped more than he'd thought it would. "Maybe if you see the amazing things I bought you, you'll feel even better."
Hugo hummed thoughtfully. "I don't know if I want to inflate your ego that much," he signed, grinning at Renee.
"Ha ha, smartass," she replied and dropped the messily wrapped gift in his lap "Open it."
Her gift was a set of notebooks Hugo had been eyeing off when the three of them had gone out together for a movie one night, which left one less thing for Stefan to buy. He hugged her, beaming down at the leather-bound books he would probably never write it, but simply use as decoration.
Stefan neatly unwrapped his own, earning laughter from both Hugo and Renee. It was a couple of obsidian crystal towers to add to a new and growing collection. They were pretty, a pure black that constantly caught his eye, forcing him to never look away from them.
"You had to start a collection made of some of the most expensive things I have ever seen," she grumbled, but there was a lightness to her face that let him know it was all alright.
Then came Hugo's gifts. He grabbed Stefan's one from where it sat between their laps and handed it to him with shaking hands. It was then that Stefan knew that he wasn't the only one that anxious about their first Christmas together. In an attempt to calm him down, he kissed him before he opened it, a sweet little thing that promised more later.
He froze, the unwrapped box sitting cold in his lap. Renee let out a surprised curse from next to him and reached towards it. He couldn't stop her, following the box's movement with wide eyes.
"Hugo," he rasped, but couldn't look at him. "How much did this cost?"
"I don't think you're supposed to ask that, Stefan," Renee replied and nudged him with her elbow.
With a half-hearted glare, he took the gift back. A camera, more expensive and higher quality than anything he had ever used. It would have taken months for Hugo to save up for it, no wonder he'd been so broke and unable to pay for dinner during their date nights. And what had Stefan gotten him? A last minute thing that meant next to nothing of importance.
It was a beautiful camera, one he had been eyeing off for a long time. It was also one he never expected to be able to afford, let alone have in his hands. "Holy shit, Hugo," he whispered and gingerly opened the box.
Laughter met his ear when he pulled it out and he looked to the side to meet Hugo's adoring smile. How was he supposed to compete with any of that? Even despite his worry, there was a joy welling deep in his stomach, one that begged him to put the camera to use immediately.
"Do you like it?" Hugo asked, hands shaking slightly as he signed.
Surprised laughter bubbled from Stefan's throat. "Of course, I do! How could I not?" he replied and ever so carefully placed the camera back in the box. He could play with it later. He leaned over and cupped Hugo's face with both hands. The way his smile widened could have been enough of a gift for him.
"I'm glad," Hugo signed and kissed him.
The next few minutes were a blur filled mainly with him staring at the camera in his lap. The plan, as rough as it had been, was to share gifts and then get wasted enough to struggle come Christmas morning. Maybe, if he and Hugo were sober enough come the later hour, they would do more than sleep in the same bed together.
Stefan doubted that the last thing would happen now.
Not that he was opposed to showing Hugo how grateful he was. His main concern, as it had been for a while, was that Hugo would not want to show him any gratitude. And yes, he had realised it was a stupid worry not ten minutes beforehand, but then Hugo had give him a camera and the worry had come back tenfold.
If only he could have found something better. But he had no choice now. He grabbed the tiny box and took a deep breath, trying hard not to look apologetic as he handed it to his partner. From the confusion in Hugo's eyes, he had no idea if he'd succeeded or failed in that regard.
The gift was unwrapped in the space of a few seconds and all three of them were staring at the tiny, stupid, thing Stefan had bought. Hugo stared over at him, eyebrows furrowed in a confusion that made his heart sink.
"What is it?" he asked.
Words were hard all of a sudden, they sputtered out of him in stops and starts. "It's a- I mean- It's not really that-" He stopped, frustrated and chose to do something he hadn't done properly for a long time. Signing. "It's a noise machine, produces sound while you sleep. It's supposed to keep you calm, prevent nightmares, that sort of thing. I know how much trouble you have with sleeping."
Silence, aching and awful. He swallowed, the lump in his throat making the action feel raw. Hugo didn't like it. Of course, he didn't like it. It was a last minute gift that meant virtually nothing, even though he had thought it was a good idea at the time. What had he been thinking?
A grunt tore from his throat when a body landed against his, shoving him into the arm of the couch. Hugo buried his face in Stefan's chest, fists bunched in the fabric of his shirt, holding tighter than he ever had before.
"Hugo?" he whispered, his voice finally back with him, even if it was raspy.
"I love you," Hugo muttered, so quietly that Stefan almost didn't hear him. Renee stared wide eyed from the other side of the couch and it was obvious then that she had heard him, even if she didn't understand the words. Stefan hadn't really mentioned Hugo's occasional words to her, not when it seemed so personal.
He smiled despite his anxiety. "I love you too," he said. Renee, the amazing woman that she was, took that as an opportunity to wander into their tiny kitchen and scramble around for the drinks and leftovers that would make up their dinner. "Are you alright?"
Hugo pulled back, his eyes red, but no tear tracks on his face. Overwhelmed, but not upset. "You're too good to me," he signed, hands surprisingly stable. "I didn't expect this..."
"You like it?" he asked pointlessly.
The nod Hugo gave him made relief swarm through his body. "Why wouldn't I?" he replied.
"You gave me a camera! This is nothing in comparison," he said.
"This," Hugo signed and held the little machine up in his hands for a moment, cradling it as if it was something precious. "Is caring about my wellbeing."
His cheeks flushed hotter than they ever had before and he ducked forward to press a kiss to Hugo's forehead. "I'm glad you like it. I was a little worried... Obviously," he whispered and grinned at the little chuckle he got in response. "And you don't have to worry about it being too loud or whatever when you're with me. I can just turn my hearing aids down or off or whatever. And it's portable too, so you can bring it here whenever you stay the night-"
His ramblings were cut off by a sudden kiss. He hummed into it and pulled Hugo closer, relief and happiness spilling between them. Their presents sat smushed between their bodies, poking awkwardly at his stomach, but he couldn't find it in him to move them aside. Hugo cupped his face, tilted his head, and deepened the kiss in the space of a second.
"Hey, we've had conversations about this, you know," Renee said from the kitchen, looking far less irritated than she sounded. "I would like to keep my appetite."
"You're being dramatic," Stefan said and laughed at the look she gave him. Hugo scooted away, cheeks red and fingers playing with the smooth edges of the noise machine.
The night was a blur after that. A blur of laughter and drinks and the warm body pressed constantly against his side. He played with the new camera, took drunken photos he would hate in the morning but loved in the moment. Maybe there were a few he would keep. One of Renee in the process of spilling her drink on herself, mainly for blackmail material. One of Hugo laughing uproariously, to add to his collection of photos just like it.
And another of Hugo, smiling serenely down at the noise machine in his pale hands, pure adoration in his eyes.