jack dials urbans number as he practically runs down the stairs, not caring that it's four in the morning and his friend could possibly be asleep. his brain is racing with irrational thoughts, like turning back around and cussing sierra out, calling cole himself and cussing him out, and finding cole and beating his ass. but the worst thought of all, the most intrusive one, wants to hurt her just as bad.
the more rational side of him believes what sierra said about her and cole never getting together like it may seem. deep down, he knows that she'd never do him like that. but the more irrational side, the current state of his brain, is telling him that sierra and cole have gotten together, and are still seeing each other behind his back.
urban picks up after a few rings, fully awake and his voice pretty chipper. "what's up?"
"where you at, man?" jack asks, walking into the lobby. his voice is stressed and panicked, and he feels bad for damping his friends mood.
"i'm outside at the pool with deja... you alright?" urban asks. jack rolls his eyes at the mention of sierras friend. she probably knew, he thinks. the thought of both of her friends, the ones he paid for to come on this trip, knowing about sierra and cole fills him with a different kind of anger.
"nah, bro. sierra got me fucked up for real," he rants.
"hold on," urban says. jack doesn't say anything and listens to urban on the other line shuffling around. "i had to get away from deja. what happened?" he asks.
jack lets out a bitter laugh. "man, look. she gets a phone call about thirty minutes ago, and i let it ring cause it's four in the fucking morning. so it stops, and then, like, a minute later it starts ringing again so i sit up because she's still asleep, right? tell me why when i answer the phone, some dude gon start with "sierra, ive been thinking about you.". i don't even let him finish, because i'm wondering who the fuck is calling her so goddamn early in the morning. and guess who it was?" his voice is clipped and rushed as he tells the story, and he speeds through the lobby of the hotel towards the pool area.
the more jack talks, the angrier he gets and he pushes his hood off to pull at his hair. "who?" urban asks.
"cole, man!"
"you're joking," urban says. he knows all about jacks suspicions of sierra and cole—the whole time they were stranded in new jersey on valentine's day, all jack could talk about was how he knew something was going on.
jack lets out a bark of a laugh. "i wish i was, bro. i'm on my way to you right now—i need to get out of here," he says. urban says okay, and the two of them hang up as jack speedwalks to the pool.
he makes it there moments later and sees urban sitting at the end of dejas chair. jack shakes his head and pokes his tongue on his cheek as he opens the gate to the empty pool area.
deja and urban both turn their heads at the sound of the gate opening. jack sees urban say something to deja, and they both get up and start walking towards him. jack stands by the gate with his hands tucked under his armpits as a breeze blows by.
"alright, let me walk her back inside and then we can dip," urban says. jack nods and stares over at deja, poking his tongue in his cheek.
she gives him a look when he keeps staring after she's already looked back at him. "what?"
"did you know?" he asks, pulling his hood on. deja gives him a puzzled look and then looks over at urban before returning her gaze on jack.
"know what?"
"about sierra and cole," jack says. the look stays on dejas face. sierra never mentioned cole beyond their conversation on valentine's day, and she just went about how she felt bad, but also only called cole because she knew nothing would happen between the two of them in the end. both jasmine and deja told her she was wrong for it, but it was nothing to lose sleep over.
"what about them?" she asks, confusion still etched in her voice and on her face. jack runs his tongue over his teeth and looks off to the side and considers her words carefully. deja has no reason to tell jack the truth because her loyalty lies with sierra, not him. but even he believes what she's saying. but she could also be a good actress. "what are you getting at, jack? just say it."
"is she seeing him?" he asks, putting his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. urban gives him a look that says let it go, but jack can't, he needs answers.
the confusion on dejas face morphs into skepticism and she crosses her arms over her chest. "not that i know of, no. but don't talk to me, talk to her," she says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
jack chews on the corner on the inside of mouth. deja brushes past jack with urban on her heels. "i'll be back, man," he says as he passes, putting a supportive hand on his shoulder.
they leave jack standing alone in the pool area, the sound of the gate closing echoing all around him and rattling in his brain. the answer is clear, almost obvious: he overreacted. but he's not ready to admit that, not ready to see sierra again so soon. the answer is clear, but he doesn't know if he believes it—maybe because she lied to him, or because he wants to believe that she's in the wrong, that all of their issues don't always point to him.
-
sierra pushes hair that falls into her face behind her ears as she refolds all of her clothes and puts them back into her suitcase. after hours of not hearing back from jack, of the hundreds of calls and texts she sent that remain unanswered, she bought a plane ticket back to atlanta.
she had given him some space after he left. it took everything in her to stay in the room and not run after him, but she knows how he gets when he's mad, and it's better for him to be alone, or else it would've been taken to a level it didn't need to go. so she stayed and paced around the room, wanting to text her friends but not wanting to wake them.
but space only lasted for so long, before she caved in and called him at 5:30, a little after an hour since he left. he obviously didn't answer, so she called him two more times before her calls started to immediately go to voicemail, pissing her off. so she alternated between texting and calling him, getting more and more anxious with every text that went unanswered.
to even question her faithfulness and loyalty, shows sierra two things: 1. he doesn't think she cares about him, and 2. he doesn't trust her. if she didn't care about him, half the things she's done since january, she wouldnt have. she wouldn't have dropped everything to go to kentucky with him, most of all. to insinuate that she doesn't care, is insulting.
and trust; it's simple. there is no relationship if you can't trust each other.
sierra lets out a breath and leans her back against the side of her bed, her suitcase sitting in between her legs half packed. truly, she doesn't want to leave, but it's clear jack doesn't want to be around her, and she's not staying in this room another night if he's not going to be there or even talk to her. the whole point of this trip was to relax, and so far she's been on edge every single day.
closing her eyes, she sighs heavily and turns up her music, letting the sappy lyrics from best part by daniel caesar fog her brain. she doesn't know why she's listening to love songs because she feels like bawling her eyes out. she should be listening to young nudy, or something that will take her mind off of jack for a split second.
sierra opens her eyes when she hears movement behind the door. her heart rate picks up, and she sits up straighter against the bed, bracing herself for jacks presence after 7 hours of him being gone.
the door opens and he steps inside, his head up and his eyes wide like he's looking for her. his blue eyes spot her immediately and he freezes, taking in the sight of her sitting on the floor with her suitcase half packed. "what are you doing?" he asks, his voice low and tired. jack steps further into the room and closes the door behind him.
sierra wants to say something smart, but thinks better of it. "packing," she says, her eyes focused on his. jack furrows his eyebrows.
"why? for what?"
she scoffs. "you obviously don't want me here, jack. and i'm tired of arguing, so i think it'll be better this way, anyway," she says, finally tearing her gaze away from him and looking down at her hands that shake slightly in her lap. jack just stares at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and frustration.
"cmon, sierra, dont start. don't do that shit," he says, shaking his head.
"i'm not doing anything," she says, her voice cracking. she clenches her hands into fists to try to get them to stop shaking, but it doesn't work. "you clearly don't want me here, and i'm no going to stay where i'm not wanted."
"don't even do that, bro. you know i want you here," he says, walking over to the bed and taking a seat at the end. sierra stands up from her seat on the floor and moves to stand by the wall opposite him.
"you left me alone in here for seven hours!" she says, angry tears welling up in her eyes. "it's not like you left and came back—you don't even want to be around me, and i didn't even chest on you." she mumbles the last part and quickly wipes at the stray tear that falls down her cheek.
"can you blame me, sierra? i mean, if the roles were reversed and i was getting a call from some random girl in the morning, you would be throwing my shit out of the window and waking up the entire floor. believe me when i say that me leaving for a few hours to process everything was not that bad," he replies. "and i know you didn't cheat on me, alright?"
sierra crosses her arms at the waist. "but you don't trust me, and we can't work if you don't. you know this," she says, her voice small. jack runs a hand through his hair.
"yes i do."
scoffing, she turns her head to look at him. "no you don't, jack. because if you did, it would not have been a thing, and you would have believed me from the jump," sierra says softly, gripping onto her elbows tightly. "and we can't lo-" she cuts herself off and tears her eyes away from back, poking her tongue in her cheek. jack slightly leans forward, as if he's egging her on to finish.
"we can't what?" he knows what she was saying, he just wants to hear it from her mouth.
"we can't l-love each other if there's no trust," sierra says, awkwardly clearing her throat after stumbling over her words. she's tried to avoid the L word after rekindling their relationship—she can love his shoes, his hair, his clothes, his songs. but when it comes to him, their relationship, she's refrained from ever alluding to loving him, even though she never stopped from before.
jack puts his elbows on his knees and puts his chin on top of his hands, looking over at sierra intensely. she matches his stare, holding onto her forearms to keep her hands steady. "so, you love me?" he asks, a cockiness to his voice.
"jack, stop," she sighs, shrinking into herself. her voice is slightly whiny and embarrassed, and he bites back a smirk and downcasts his eyes to his feet. "but of course i do." sierra whispers. i never stopped is what she doesn't add.
"then stay," he says, his eyes still on his feet. jack wants her here—always wants her around. he just needed to cool off earlier and come back when his head was clear, that's all.
"i already bought my ticket," she says.
"cancel it."
sierra sighs. "no, jack. it's better if i go—we need space from each other right now. not for forever, but right now. i can't keep doing this, arguing everyday. i'm tired," she says, pushing her hood off of her head and gathering all of her hair and putting it over her left shoulder.
"sierra, we just gave each other seven hours of space. is that not enough?" he asks, standing up from the bed and walking over to her. he puts his hands on her hips and pulls her close to him, their chests presses together. "just stay, baby." he mumbles, putting his chin on top of her head.
sierra sighs and focuses her eyes on his adam's apple and tucks her hands into the front pocket of his hoodie. she's reveling in the feeling of being so close to him again. it was only seven hours but after the first one she wasn't sure he was coming back or that she'd never be touched by him again.
jack fully wraps his arms around her waist. "just stay so we can figure it out," he says.
"i'm going back home tonight, jack," she says, pulling out of his embrace. another second of him holding her close and talking in her ear with that los voice, and he might've convinced her. but they need to be away from each other, at least for a few days.
he looks at her with an annoyed expression. "fine," he moves away from her and sits down on the floor by her suitcase. "at least let me help you pack."
——
SHITTY SHITTY SHITTY. DID NOT PROOF READ. HAPPY LATE CHRISTMAS.
HAPP HOLIDAYS
EXCUSE ANY MISTAKES
ILY