25th of August.
Three days had passed. Beomgyu barely slept at all. He was up all night, sitting on his bed, waiting for his phone to ring. He was paranoid. He was stressed. He didn't bother showing up to work. He didn't let his friends know; not even Mr. Cho. He dedicated his precious time driving around Beverly in hopes to find Y/N.
He passed by Cornelia Street, he went to the park, he returned to the baywalk, he even entered the toy store. Nothing. Beomgyu carried the weight on his back, dreading.
"I walked through the door with you, the air was cold. But something about it felt like home somehow."
"And I, left my scarf there at your sister's house and you've still got it in your drawer even now."
He was yet again in the driver's seat, contemplating. He had been blasting his radio for a while now, listening. He was heading south, wind tousling his hair as he rolled the windows down.
Beomgyu glanced sideways. The empty passenger's seat remained untouched, waiting for its rightful occupant to come back. He heavily sighed.
"Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze. We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate."
"Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place and I can picture it after all these days."
He heard his phone ring. He stopped by the gutter to pick up the call. It was Kevin. Beomgyu rolled his eyes.
"Yes?"
"Hey, bro." Kevin greeted. "Just wanted to check on y-"
"I'm not alright. I'm anxious and I'm fucking pissed. Thanks."
"Listen, man. Y/N's surely out there, safe and sound-"
"Safe and sound?" Beomgyu scoffed. "It's been three days, Kev! Three fucking days! Get out of here with your bullshit!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look, Gyu, you've been missing a lot. The office needs you. Mr. Cho's no longer impressed."
"I don't give a damn."
"But-"
Scowling, Beomgyu dropped the call. He knew what he did was disrespectful, but he didn't want to waste his time thinking about the others. He stepped on the gas once again, his dry hands gripping on the steering wheel.
"And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more and I might be okay but I'm not fine at all."
"'Cause there we are again on that little town street. You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me."
"Wind in my hair, I was there. I remember it all too well."
He halted near the intersection as the lights turned red. Tired, he threw his head back with a grunt. Intrusive thoughts clouded his poor mind, cursing him to oblivion.
What if Y/N was stuck in a bad situation? What if she was hurt? Has she eaten? Has she been getting enough sleep? Where could she be?
"Photo album on the counter. Your cheeks were turning red. You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed."
"And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team. You told me 'bout your past thinking your future was me."
Beomgyu silently prayed to the heavens. He hopelessly whispered to the skies, as if he was talking to Nana Mei. He felt terrible. He wanted to consider himself an irresponsible lover. See, he never wanted this to happen. He was willing to do anything just to alter fate, but the game of life doesn't work that way.
Beomgyu loves Y/N so much. He treasures her dearly, to the point where he swore to himself to never let her go. She to him was a prized possession. An angel. His sweet, sweet, sunshine. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to keep her safe.
Yet he failed.
"And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do and I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to."
"'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night. We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light."
"Down the stairs, I was there. I remember it all too well, yeah."
Yearning, Beomgyu started to cry. He raced through the highway, driving past the speed limit. Trucks and buses honked at him. Startled drivers rolled down their windows to yell insults. Beomgyu remained ignorant.
His conscience told him to take a swift turn. By then, he caught glimpse of a spinning carousel. Beomgyu parked in an empty lot and got out. Pocketing his trembling hands, he let the warm air kiss his salty cheeks as he walked.
"And maybe we got lost in translation. Maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up."
"Running scared, I was there. I remember it all too well."
Beomgyu looked down. He remembered autumn. He remembered Y/N. His heart clenched. He was running out of options. He was running out of patience.
It seemed as if he was trying to find a piece of needle in a haystack. It was infuriating. It crushed his ego. It shattered his dreams. Fate took Y/N away from him and he hated the fact that it did a great job at playing with his already fucked up situation.
"And you call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest."
"I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here. 'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well."
Beomgyu approached the carousel. He watched as the kids held onto the fake horses, screaming and laughing. He took out his phone to call the police. A couple rings went by and an officer answered grumpily.
"Mr. Choi-"
"Where is she?" Beomgyu eagerly asked. "Any news?"
"No, sir-"
"Shit, for the love of God. It's been three days."
"I know, Mr. Choi. But please, have patience. We won't let this one slide. We're just as desperate as you."
"Excuse me?!"
"Give it a break, sir. We'll notify you once we've seen her."
Beomgyu wanted to yell. He wanted to barge into their station and rage. He abruptly ended the call as he no longer wanted to sit through their bullshit. Furious, he threw his phone to the ground. He crouched down and sobbed. Passersby paid him concerned looks. He didn't care.
"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it. I'd like to be my old self again but I'm still trying to find it."
"After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own. Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone."
Beomgyu kept crying as the world caved in. He clutched on his apparel, his shaking voice earning sympathy from the crowd. A few kids pointed at him, some grown-ups even stared. But none of them were bold enough to lend a hand.
Beomgyu covered his eyes, his dry palms catching his tears. He just wanted her to come home. He just wanted to hold her in his arms. He just wanted to hear her voice again. He just wanted to apologize.
"But you keep my old scarf from that very first week. 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me."
"You can't get rid of it. 'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah."
Hours had passed. The sun had already kissed the horizon, painting the sky in vibrant hues of red and orange. Beomgyu got to his feet and sniffled. With his phone broken, he had no choice but to drive home and wait beside the landline.
However, as he turned to leave, he felt a gentle tug. Beomgyu weakly spun and saw a little boy looking up at him. He too was sad. His round cheeks glistened with tears. He was holding a yellow balloon. His rainbow hat sat on top of his curly hair, its tiny propeller spinning as the wind blew.
"'Cause there we are again when I loved you so. Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known."
"It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well. Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all."
"Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all. It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well."
Beomgyu got down to his eye level. Masking his dishevelled state, he flashed him a smile. The kid hesitated for a bit.
"Please, help.." He trailed. "..she took my other balloon. She's scaring me."
Beomgyu blinked. "Who's scaring you?"
The little boy pointed over his shoulder and Beomgyu followed his gaze. There was a young lady standing by a flickering lamppost. Her hair was greasy. Her eyes were dark and sunken. Her face was bruised. Her clothes were torn and dirty. She was holding a string of red balloon. Beomgyu froze.
"Y/N!" He called. "Oh my goodness, Y/N!"
Beomgyu rushed to the girl. Y/N looked at him with fear in her eyes. Confused and terrified, she flinched at Beomgyu's touch.
"Where have you been?!"
"I.." Her breath hitched. "..don't know."
"Baby, you scared me!"
Y/N met his sad gaze. She trembled in his grip. Her brows furrowed and her dry lips parted open. She wanted to say something, but she was struggling with her words. Without a warning, she collapsed. Beomgyu immediately caught her in his arms.
"Y/N!" He shook her. "Y/N!"