As I entered the palace again, a wave of nostalgic feelings washed over me instantly. Memories I had made here were one of the best moments of my life.
The day came when Hyerin and Prince Yul would have their wedding ceremony and the Han family was invited.
Mother and father greeted everyone and I stood in the sidelines smiling politely at whoever was passing by. My eyes repeatedly scanned over the crowds, trying to find a certain man.
Once I looked over to my right, I saw a familiar figure in the distance leaning against the tree, staring right back at my direction. Or at least I think he was. My heart fluttered seeing him again after a long time. His hair had definitely grown a bit but he still looked the same compared to when I last saw him. He looked really dashing today wearing navy blue and I could tell he put in effort to look his best.
"I'll be back in a minute, father" I spoke to father in a hushed voice and he motioned for me to go, his attention on the elderly couple he was conversing with.
I walked towards him slowly, grabbing onto the hem of my skirt nervously. I had worn the light purple dress that I personally designed since it was a special day today. He suddenly stopped leaning and stood up straight, as if waiting expectedly.
I truly missed him. I missed everything about him, from his deep voice that softly spoke to me and to his smile that even appeared in my dreams. But what was this feeling that was overweighing that right now?
Maybe it was hurt, or anger, I wouldn't know. Did he even miss me? My throat was stinging and my heart ached dully, as I stared into that man's eyes.
I broke eye contact and stared straight ahead before walking right past him. If he wanted to lose contact with me, then fine, let's act like strangers then.
I barely took another step before I was turned around swiftly, catching me by surprise. Yo Han looked at me, probably trying to read through my thoughts.
I smiled before saying "Do I know you?"
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and kept a tighter hold of my hand. "Lady Goeun, what are you talking -" before he could finish whatever he was saying, I looked behind him and saw mother and father coming over to our direction with a weird smile on their faces.
I thought they were busy talking with the others, how did mother notice me gone so fast?
oh no
The cogs in my brain turned wildly and a new plan was formed.
Ohhoho
"Quick, act like my lover for a bit." I slid my arms in his before pleading with my eyes. "Tell my parents we plan to get married later in the future because you're busy at the moment" Yo han looked puzzled with the situation and I can understand him, I stranger zoned him one minute ago and now I'm asking him to be my lover. I probably sound like a psycho
"What did you get yourself into now?" He shook his head and I held onto his arms even tighter. "If you don't help me now, I will be forced to marry this pervert back at home."
"Is this your charm Lady Goeun? You first attracted a killer and now a pervert? What's it going to be next time?" He smirked and I smiled back at him. "Let's just say I have very bad luck when it comes to men."
"And what will I get out of helping you?" He raised his eyebrow in expectation and my mind went blank for a moment.
"I will accept this as a form of apology from you. The last 3 months... I won't question it" That was the best I could come up with since he doesn't really owe me anything.
Before he could speak, mother and father's footsteps were heard as they got closer to us.
"So this is your faraway lover that you were writing letters with?" Mother examined him before looking at our linked arms.
"Good evening, I hope your trip here wasn't difficult. I am General Kim Yo Han." He bowed and I stood amazed at how respectful he was acting.
"My my, you're respectful and handsome, so when are you planning to get married?" Mother straightforwardly asked and I covered my face in embarrassment.
"Mother there's things like self introductory and getting to know one another. You can't just ask suddenly like that" I looked over at Yo Han's face as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"As general, I have many things to do so I can't marry at the moment." He glanced over at me and I could tell he was slowly starting to lose it.
I gestured with my hands for him to breath in and out slowly.
"Let me speak with your parents for a little bit, let's get to know each other. After all, we will become in laws one day." Father looked at us expectantly and I let out a nervous laugh.
"hehe that won't be nesessary. I am just getting to know him better and I exaggerated a bit about getting married fast last time father." Yohan was stiff next to me and I realized my plan was starting to crumble horribly.
"Nonsense, lead the way, my son in law." Mother proudly patted him on the back and my blood ran cold. I think I messed up badly, and seeing Yohan's expression, I don't think I will make it out of here alive.
His parents were sitting patiently, sipping their tea quietly in the distance. I kept whispering "I'm sorry" "Don't kill me" and "I didn't think this would happen" to him over and over again but he stared straight ahead with his jaw tightened as we were walking in their direction.
Mother and Father greeted them politely before dropping the news to them as well. His mother stared at us in shock before standing up and walking towards Yohan and I. "Is this why you declined all those girls I showed you? You already had such a pretty one next to your side all this time."
I blushed without realizing and introduced myself.
His father also came to us before whispering to Yohan. I could hear them clearly since I was standing next to him. "Finally, I thought you would be stuck on that one girl forever" He patted his shoulder proudly, and I tugged at Yohan's sleeve trying to grab his attention.
I stared at Yohan in confusion but he kept his gaze straight ahead with a tight smile. Seeing that forced expression, a pang of guilt crept up to me. He already has a lover.
And I just ruined the chance of them being together.
Introducing your partner to your family is the same thing as saying that you want to get married to one another. I only meant to fake it to my parents but mother just had to go an extra step and rush things.
We left them to talk and they gladly shooed us off, immersed in their own conversation. I followed behind him quietly making sure my breathing wasn't even heard. Once he stopped walking, I backed away a few steps knowing what was about to come.
"Han Goeun" It was the first time he said my name fully, but his voice sounded stern and angry.
"Do you realize what you dragged me into?" "Do you think marriage is a joke?!" he turned around and I flinched back.
"I...I.." I couldn't form anything to say as an excuse so I kept my head low in shame. "Forgive me"
He sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. "You will be unhappy in this marriage too. Because, your husband's heart will not belong to you entirely"
I sniffled softly and wiped away the tears that were forming. "I never asked for it to turn out this way either. Okay then, let's go back and fix this mess. I will apologize to your parents and beg them to not get mad at you. Then you can go back to whoever you guys were talking about. I'm sorry"
I hope my heart is okay after this. For 3 agonizing months, my heart ached in longing and now it's starting to crack and shatter into pieces. Grabbing his hand, I tried pulling him towards the direction of where our parents were at.
"But what about you then? I don't want you getting married off to that man you told me about" his words made me halt and I swear I almost grabbed his hair out of frustration.
"Why would you care?" I don't even know why I was getting mad at him when I'm the one at fault.
"I am close enough to care about you and your wellbeing, Goeun"
I sat down on the grass before looking up at him. "Then what do you want me to do" Exhausted, I brought my knees to my arms and laid my head down. As I closed my eyes, I heard shuffling as he sat down next to me.
We stayed in silence for a bit and only the sound of the whishing wind was heard.
"Her name is Hwang Minah." He said rather softly.
"Your lover?" I kept my head in my arms not trusting myself as I failed to control my facial expressions.
He hummed in approval. "I promised that I would wait for her and that I would be willing to give up the world for her"
Looking up, I saw his sad smile making me feel like an extra horrible person.
"Are you still waiting?" His eyes dilated for a moment and I saw the emotions swirling in his eyes. His lips slightly trembled, as if he was going to start crying.
"I don't know" was all he said before turning his head away.
How badly I want to be that woman, she took up all the space in his heart. But where could she be now?
I decided to not pry into his love life any longer, and made up my mind. "Give me just 1 month to clear this up. I'll tell them I broke it off because I fell out of love. Then we can go back to living our own separate lives."
"Jus-Just help me out for only today. Then you won't see even my shadow near you anymore" averting his gaze, I got up and dusted off my dress.
"I'm sorry" his low voice brought me to a stop and I chuckled softly.
"For what? Not playing pretend with me? Or not reciprocating the same feelings back? Please, don't make me feel even worse than I already am."
I put on a happy facade and regained my usual composure.
"Well then, let us go support our crown prince and princess's special day."