i can't fkn believe i updated again lmaoaoo how is this even possible with me??? its like one of those signs before a massive tragedy strikes oml anyways, yall enjoy whatever this chapter is. author was pretty much high again.
Chapter Twenty-Four:
"I can't believe this," Verde hisses from where he's nestled between Ron's orange hair. "I can't believe you didn't ask Sirius what he was doing at that wretched things place or, OR, whether or not Sirius was your legal guardian."
"Verde--," Harry tries to say but gets cut off for the millionth time.
"No," Verde seethes. "No. You cannot talk, Master. Not until I've gotten this all out of my system. How could you be THAT stupid? HOW?"
"He's been hissing at you all day," Ron says, moving a pawn piece across the chessboard. "What did you do?" He asks.
"It's more of what I didn't do," Harry answers quietly. He moves his own pawn piece across the chessboard and then sags into his yellow chair dramatically. "I can't believe I'm being chastised by my own familiar," he groans.
"And do you know what I call that?" Verde continues on like Harry and Ron hadn't just talked over him, "bullshit, that's what."
"I, um," Ron hesitates for a moment, biting into his bottom lip. He eventually picks up his knight and moves it across the board. "I noticed that, um," he lowers his voice into a whisper, "Hannah Abbott and her friends keep staring at you."
Harry flickers his gaze across the Hufflepuff common room and speaks in a flat tone, "I've noticed."
It's hard not to. Abbott and her two friends, Macmillan and Finch-Fletchley are way too easy to notice. It's almost like they want Harry to see, but, well, he's not interested. He already has a group of friends who force him to eat when he forgets to and take him on walks around Hogwarts like he's some sort of pet they're trying really hard to keep alive.
Ironic, really.
Harry's life has always been one big joke.
"I'm not interested in them," Harry says, turning his gaze back to Ron. "You want to know what I'm really interested in, though?"
Ron sighs deeply. "Treacle tart," he replies monotonically.
"Exactly," Harry preens. He stands to his feet and beckons Ron to follow. "I've been without my precious treacle tart for the past three hours," he pauses to make a weirdly realistic sobbing sound, "how have I even survived up until now?"
Ron follows after him with an exasperated yet fond expression. From atop his head, Verde has not once stopped his assault on Harry. "Are you even listening to me? Hello? See, this is exactly why you can't get shit done. Master! Master!!"
"When are you going to stop?" Harry whines, pushing past a door and then walking down a short passage. He shoves a few barrels out of his way and ends up in the kitchens. "I understand, really, it's just not that easy."
"Oh, it's easy," Verde sasses him. "All you have to do is ask."
Harry groans loudly and rolls his green eyes. "I can't help it, okay? I get into a trance and then, well," he stops talking when his face heats up in embarrassment.
"Uh huh," Verde hums. "You get doped up on endorphins and your brain cells, all two of them, just stop working. Whether it's with the homicidal moron or with the dumb dog."
"Sirius isn't dumb," Harry defends his godfather. He leads Ron to a small table in the middle of the kitchen that the Hogwarts elves have prepared for them. "And I can't even say anything about Tom because it's true."
"Here's be Mr Harry's treacle, Sirs," an elf pops beside the table and places a whole tray of beautiful, beautiful treacle tart onto it.
"Thank you," Harry and Ron chorus, falling into their seats with small smiles. The elf pops away and Harry instantly inhales his treacle tart. Ron eats his share a lot slower.
"You're being daft," Verde compliments Harry oh so sweetly, "how is it that you're still alive, Master?"
"It's because of my hair," Harry answers seriously. "But you're right, I am being daft. It's because it's fun this way. I like going to see Tom and finding a dead body on the floor and just pretending not to see it."
"Sweet Salazar," Verde sighs. Harry gets the feeling that if Verde could, he'd roll his eyes.
"What's wrong with me just doing what I want to?" Harry asks, scrunching up his nose. He shoves a whole spoon of treacle into his mouth to calm himself down and the effect is instant.
"Master, you can do whatever the fuck you want," Verde says, "I'm just worried, Nimmy is worried, that you'll get hurt."
"Physically or emotionally? Because the damage is already there and--"
"Master."
"Fine," Harry relents. "I'll be more careful."
"And what about finding your legal guardian?" Verde asks.
"The papers should have already been here," Harry explains. "I don't think Gringotts is the type of bank to forget. How about we stop by there during the holidays?"
"Fine." Verde parrots. He slithers down Ron's head, down his arm and over the table to wrap around Harry's wrist.
"So," Ron voices when he notices that Verde is no longer hissing at Harry, "you okay?"
"Yeah," Harry nods. "Just got a question. Has Gringotts ever forgotten to send someone their hereditary results?"
Ron blinks owlishly at him and swallows slowly around his treacle tart. There are a few stray crumbs on his bottom lip that have Harry wanting to reach over and wipe them off. "Um," Ron blinks again, "I don't think so?" He tilts his head cutely. "That would mean putting their money at risk. And erm, Goblins are very territorial over their gold."
"Ronnie, sweetie," Harry teases, grinning when Ron's face pinkens. "Do you want to go see Draco?" It's the least Harry can do for him and his cute face and his adorable crush--
Ron makes a punched out noise and hides his reddening face into his hands. "Please stop teasing me."
"Sorry, sorry," Harry laughs good-naturedly. He's content like this, willing to spend his days teasing Ron and making Hermione question their friendship. Willing to have Draco hover around him like a doting mother and to have the other baby death eaters arguing behind his back as they collectively walk to class.
It's a weird concept for him; happiness. What does it really feel like? Is happiness seeing Draco muster up to courage to hold Ron's hand? Or is it seeing Blaise and Theo arguing with Pansy only to have Tracy split them up when it turns nasty? Is happiness falling into Sirius's arms and soaking up all the warmth that he can? Is happiness sitting in Tom's lap and laughing and arguing and forgiving things that shouldn't be forgiven?
Harry thinks it might be.
Harry wants it to be.
And so it is.
1128 words//unedited.
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verde:...
harry: but i--
verde: motherfucker if you don't shut the fuck up right now
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harry&verde: *arguing*
ron: *happy and oblivious*
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that same day
harry: hey draco
ron: um hi
draco: .... u brought a hufflepuff into the slytherin common room?
harry: yuuuuuuuup
draco: ....
ron: ....
harry: anyways
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verde: there's just something about that man that i absolutely hate
harry: have u ever stopped to think that maybe it's because he has hands and you don't?
verde: bitch what did i just say about being quiet oh wait holy shit you might actually be right for once
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thank you everyone for over 150k reads!! ❤🎉🎉🎉 and for the funny yet sweet comments. some of you are obviously on cocain but let's keeps that to ourselves, okay?
and just a warning that i probably won't be updating for a long time again, because guess what??? that's right. i have cancer (it's actually not the serious, but still) 🙃🙃🙃 ive already had a part of my ear removed because that's where some of it was. and in about a months time im going to have my thyroid removed, and honestly, fuck that.
but anyways, happy holidays and merry christmas bishes!! 🎁