Worms come out of the woodwork. Leeches crawl from out of the dirt. Rats come out of the holes they call home, I fall apart.
And the snakes start to sing.
If you can't soar with the eagles, then don't fly with the flock. Are you still getting high?
Did you catch your own reflection, in the knife my mother held? Or the hell in my father's eyes?
If you can't soar with the eagles, then don't fly with the flock. Are you still getting by?
Was I your knight in shining armour? The apple of your eye? Or just a step to climb?- And The Snakes Start To Sing, Bring Me The Horizon
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The week goes by pretty quick and it's Saturday. The night of the party Dylan's holding.
Right now I was in the bathroom of Mac's room, looking in the mirror, trying to assure myself that everything is going to go as planned and that Dylan's not going to cheat on me. There's a knock on the door.
"Come in." I say. Mac opens the door and rests against the door frame.
"You ready?" He asks.
"Is it that time already?" I ask.
"Yep. C'mon." He holds out his hand and I take it. I take one last look at myself before he pulls me out of his room, down the stairs and out of the house.
We walk to Dylan's and as we stand at the font of the house, we can both hear the loud pumping techno music. My heart is beating so loud I swear Mac can hear it over the music.
This is the first party I've been to since I started high school. About 6 years ago. This is a big deal.
Mac releases my hand as we walk up the steps, but stays close to me. We knock on the door loudly and some random dude opens it. They have a beer in their hand and look wasted already. This might be a long night, I think. Mac walks in and I follow. We walk into Dylan's living room and it's so squished, I can barely move. I shuffle past people, apologising as I bump them, praying that no one notices how awkward I am. I look up, seeing where Mac is leading me, but I can't see him. Shit! I reach a corner of the room and observe everyone. They're all drinking and bobbing along to the music. I close my eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths, and when I open them, a guy is standing beside me exceptionally close. I can't shuffle over anymore because of the wall, so I'm stuck with this idiot standing next to me. He shoves a drink in my hand and smiles.
"I haven't seen you at any parties, I'm Josh." He shouts over the music. I give him a small smile and nod.
"I'm Amber." I reply, just as loud. "And I don't do parties."
"Then why are you at this one?"
"Dylan wanted me to come."
"Oh, you know Dylan." He says.
"Yeah, he's, uh, he's my boyfriend." I tell Josh. He nods.
"Ahhh, right. You're the girl he doesn't shut up about." Josh chuckles. I smile at that.
"He talks about me?"
"He doesn't stop! It's just Amber this, Amber that, I love her." I suppress a smile and chew the inside of my lip. "He's changed, you know. He used to be a real misogynist and he wasn't very appreciative of women. But I think you changed him all of a sudden. When you two had that fight and didn't see each other for half a week, it opened his eyes and he realised just how much he needed you." I nod.
"Well, I'm happy. Have you seen him?"
"I think he's in the kitchen. He's had a bit to drink already so just watch him." I smile and nod and find my way to the kitchen. When I walk in he's there sitting on a chair, a beer in his hands. He stands up when he sees me, a grin plastering itself to his face. He wraps me up in his arms and kisses the top of my head.
"How's my baby girl?" He asks. I smile and kiss his lips.
"Good." I take a sip from the bottle of beer Josh had pushed into my hand.
"Ahh, you've already found yourself a drink."
"Yep, and I've already met Josh. He told me some things about you." His eyes widen.
"Like what?"
"Like the fact that you don't stop talking about me." I say, suppressing my smile.
"That's because you're amazing." His arms wrap around my waist and he kisses me.
"Wooo! Dylan! Getting into it." A males voice laughs. I pull away from our kiss and blush. I look up at the guy who had just spoken. He has dirty blonde hair, grey blue eyes, tan skin and a killer smile, which he flashes me as Dylan does the weird handshake thing that guys do with each other.
"Matt!" Dylan exclaims. "Dude, how are you?"
"Good good, man. Who is this lovely lady?"
"Oh, Matt meet Amber, my girlfriend." Dylan introduces us. Matt smiles as he kisses my cheek. Dylan wraps an arm around my waist and glues me to his side protectively.
"I'm going to go find a drink." Matt says, walking away with a wink at me. Dylan releases me.
"I'm just going to check that everything is alright around the place." He says. I nod and watch him as he walks away. I walk the opposite way and back into the living room. I look over at the corner that I was originally standing in, hoping that I can return there, but a couple have occupied it and it looks like they're doing something nasty.
I roll my eyes in disgust and find a free seat at the bar in the huge living room.
"So, where's your Prince Charming?" A familiar voice asks beside me. I look and see Mac. He has one arm snaked around a girls waist and the other carries his beer. He looks drunk already.
"He's gone to check up on things." I say. "Mac, you're drink. Don't do anything stupid and don't drink anymore or you'll end up losing your v-card."
"And what makes you think I still have it?" He asks. I laugh and turn away from him. He walks onto the dance floor and starts dirty dancing with the brunette. I sit by myself and grab another beer. Tonight, I had one rule for myself, to not let any guy trick me. I'm probably going to break it, considering I'll get extremely wasted, but at least I've set it. As I drain the last drops from my second beer, I feel a hand brush away my hair from my neck and start kissing it. I smile to myself and turn around to kiss who I am guessing is Dylan, only to be surprised by it being Matt. I take my hands from his face and clear my throat.
"Uh, what are you doing?" I ask.
"Shhh. Pretend I'm Dylan." He whispers in my ear. I turn away from him and get off the chair walking back to the kitchen. Dylan is pouring a bag of ice into an esky already full of alcoholic drinks. When he sees me he grins and I peck his lips.
"Your friend Matt is quite the douche." I say. Dylan's face drops and he puts the empty bag that was filled with ice on the table.
"What? What'd he do? I'm going to kill him." He snarls. I put hand on his upper arm.
"It's fine. It was nothing. He just kissed my neck and when I asked him what he was doing, he just said "pretend I'm Dylan."" I explain. Dylan laughs.
"He's drunk. You're lucky he's not full on drunk, otherwise he'd pick you up and whisk you away." I laugh.
"Well, thanks for the heads up. Is everything as it should be?" I ask. He nods and takes my hands.
"Let's take shots."
"Are you sure? I've seen what vodka does to you."
"Shh, let's just do it." He smiles, pulling me to the bar. He grabs the vodka and the shot glasses. Then he fills them to the top and we each grab one. He grins at me as we loop arms and take it. I wince as the liquid burns my throat on the way down. He grabs another and so do I. We take it on three. I laugh as we take another. And soon we've had about 5 and I feel like the world is spinning too fast. I hold my head.
"I need to lye down." I shout over the music. He chuckled and nods, taking my arm and pulling me upstairs to an occupied guest room. He locks the door behind us and I flop onto the bed.
"The world is spinning! Stop it! Dylan! Make it stop!" He laughs at my instruction and kisses me. I kiss him back and everything stops spinning. He pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. He's about to kiss me again, but a loud bang on the door stops him.
"Dylan? There's a huge fight! You need to do something." A girls voice shouts.
"Shit!" Dylan curses, climbing off the bed and throwing the door open.
"Crap! Where?" He asks her.
"Living room." She says.
"Thanks Kat!" He races downstairs and I get off the bed slowly. The girl waits at the door and I stumble and she catches my arm.
"Woah. Had a bit to drink?" She laughs.
"Hahaha, yeah, I had a bit too much..." I laugh.
"It's a party! You're supposed to. I'm Kat." She smiles.
"I'm Amber." I reply.
"Oh, you're the one who's brother died in that car accident. And you mum took her life about 10 years ago?"
"Yeah, I don't need a fucking run down on how my life has played out so far. I remember both of those days like they were yesterday." I hiss. She glares at me and clears her throat.
"So, how do you know Dylan?" She asks, as we walk down the stairs. I can hear the chanting of fight, fight, fight, fight being repeated over and over again.
"Um, he's my boyfriend."
"Oh, you're also that bitch who took him." She smiles fakely. I'm tempted to punch her, but hold it back.
"I'm sorry?"
"You heard." She says, not looking at me. This girl was going to die tonight, I think.
"Well, obviously he saw nothing in you." I shrug, shoving past her, leaving her standing there with an open mouth. I smirk but stop when I see who's officially in the fight.
Mac.
The little shit! He probably called someone a dickhead and then got a worse insult back and so Mac punched him. I want to punch him. I see that Dylan is trying to stop the fight without getting hurt himself. It isn't working. So I push through everyone to the front of the crowd and cross my arms, glaring at Mac. He doesn't notice me. I wait for a gap between the two boys before stepping into that gap, my arms still crossed. Mac stops his fist flying through the air, when he sees me, so it just hangs there. He slowly retreats his arm to his side and looks down at the ground. I raise my eyebrows at him. Everyone stops changing fight and the room goes silent, the music stopping. I clear my throat, my head still spinning a bit.
"Mac, a word." I say. I grab his wrist and pull him upstairs into the bedroom Dylan and I were just in. I slam the door shut just as the party comes back to life, the loud music floating upstairs. Mac sits on the bed and looks at me guiltily.
"What the hell was that?" I ask. He stays silent.
"Mac! You can't go around punching people! You may be drunk but it's no excuse!" I yell. Silence.
"More silence. Great." I sit next to him.
"He said something hurtful about you and Ryan." He says quietly.
"Wha... What did he say?" I ask. Mac looks at me.
"He said that you were my fuck toy and also that I should be the one who was dead instead of your brother or be the one in prison for the collusion." He says, looking down at the ground.
"Why would he say you should be in prison?" I ask, alarmed.
"Because," it looks like he can't say what he wants to say. Silence coats his words before they leave his mouth.
"Because... I... I was in that car that smashed into yours." He finally says quietly. I shake my head in shock. I must have heard that wrong.
"Wha-what did you say?" I stutter.
"I was in that freaking car that smashed into your brothers! I was in the back seat with my mate and the driver and we were all high as fuck! And we both thought it would be funny to speed towards a car and then screech to a halt right in front of it and then speed off! I was the one who came up the idea!" He shouts at me, standing up. "And somehow that secret got out." He adds quietly. I swallow the speech like taking a pill dry. I'm speechless.
"Amber. Say something." He whispers. But I can't.
"SAY SOMETHING, GOD DAMNIT!" He demands. I flinch.
"I-I... Uh... I don't have anything to say." I pause, thinking. "Except for the fact that you are sick for not telling me! I've slept next to you since my brother was killed by you and your stupid idiot's of friends! I can't believe you!"
"Amber, just-"
"Just what, Mac?" I snap. "Just what?" I almost sob.
"I-I don't know,"
"I'm going." I stand up and open the door.
"And where are you going to go, huh?"
"I'm staying with Dylan. And if not with Dylan, I'll stay with Oli!" I walk out, slamming the door behind me. I stop just outside the door, and take a deep breath, blinking back tears. I walk back downs stirs and into the kitchen. I find a bottle of vodka under the kitchen sink, and 20 minutes later, I'm feeling much better. I walk into the living room, into the life of the party, the bottle still in my hand. I stumble around, bumping into people who then tell me to "watch it". I just flip them off and start dancing. With my hands up, moving my body to the music that I don't usually enjoy listening to. I feel hands on my waist and look back to see the guy who I met earlier. I forgot his name. M... Mac? No. Matt? I think so. Then he mouths it go me. Matt. I nod and keep dancing as he grinds against me. I take another drink from the bottle and wince as the liquid stings my throat. I look around and my heart jumps into my mouth when I see my boyfriend making out with some blonde headed bimbo. I stop dancing. Matt turns me around to him and raises an eyebrow. I look back at Dylan and that girl and then back to Matt. He sees them and then gives me a look of sympathy. Then he takes my arm and pulls me off the dance floor and into the backyard. There are only a few people outside. He sits me down on a banana lounge beside the big pool. I start crying. I put the bottle of vodka onto the grass as Matt sits next to me. I bury my face into his chest and bawl my eyes out. His arms wrap around me.
"I should've known." I sob. He rubs my back.
"Shh, it's okay." He says.
"Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that that isn't Dylan making out with that blonde hair bimbo-"
"Veronica." Matt cuts in.
"...Veronica against the wall." I finish. Matt stays silent.
"Fuck!" I curse.
"Personally, I think you're much prettier than her."
"I don't care about looks! He said he loved me! And he said it with meaning! How did I fall for that jerk!" I cry. "I should have known that he'd just... just fuck things up."
"It was him, not you. Just remember that." I look up at him, studying his face. He has a defined jaw line, grey blue and dirty blonde hair. His grey blue eyes are soft and kind and his dirty blonde hair is messy, giving him that... "rustic" look. He gives me a cute smile and leans down, placing his lips on mine. I don't do anything to stop him. I kiss him back. Dylan needs to know that his little make out session with Veronica doesn't faze me. But deep down inside it does. It kills me. Matt stands up, his arm wrapping around my waist as he keeps kissing me. Then he grabs my wrist and pulls me upstairs to a different room. It looks like a study. There's a couch against the far wall. I shut and lock the door behind me and just as I turn around, Matt pushes me up against the door, pressing his lips against mine. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks us over to the couch and lays me down gently. Then he starts kissing my neck. I run my hands through his hair as he pulls off my top. He pulls off his top as well and returns to my neck. He kisses down my stomach and his hands stay at my waist. He undoes my jeans and pulls them off, then he does his. I bring his face to mine and kiss him. He kisses me back and my arms wrap around his neck, my fingers twirling in his hair. He pulls away, his breathing ragged, and rests his forehead against mine. He looks deep into my eyes.
"Are you sure?" He asks. I look into his eyes, a small smile creeping onto my face. I peck his lips.
"Yes. He needs to know I'm over him." I say. He buries his face into the crook of my neck and kisses it.
"But are you positive?" He asks, looking into my eyes again. "Because if you don't want to"But are you positive?" He asks, looking into my eyes again. "Because if you don't want to, we can stop. I'm not going to force you."
"What? Don't you want to do it?"
"No, of course I do."
"Then what are we waiting for?" I ask rhetorically.
"We're probably not going to remember this in the morning." He chuckles. I peck his lips.
"Hurry up!" I urge. He let's out a small laugh with a grin and then I'm off in dream land.
I wake up the next morning with a pounding head and an arm draped over the small of my back. I'm naked and under a blanket with Matt. Oh god, I think. I slept with him. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! How did I let this happen. I close my eyes and reply the night in my head. Mac told me that he was part of my brother dying. I saw Dylan making out with that blondie Veronica. That scene plays over and over in my head, stabbing my heart over and over. I open my eyes. I was angry and so I slept with Dylan's best friend... crap. I look out the window. Dark storm clouds crowd the sky and I can hear thunder rumbling off in the distance.
"Are you awake?" I hear Matt's voice whisper. I turn and face him.
"Yeah." I whisper back. He smiles and rolls onto his back, running a hand through his messy hair. He let's out a small quiet chuckle.
"What?" I ask with a smile. He looks at me.
"Well, don't you think last night was all a bit rushed?"
"It was more then rushed," I roll onto my back as well, and look at him, "it was crazy. It was so ridiculous of us. I was angry at my boyfriend and so I slept with his best friend. I don't know anything about you except for your name. What's not rushed or crazy about that?" I look up at the white ceiling.
"Do you regret last night?" He asks. I look at him, hesitating to answer.
"I do and I don't."
"Same here." He nods. We stay silent. There's a loud clap of thunder and I jump, making Matt laugh. Rain starts thrashing at the window and I scowl at him for laughing.
"You're cute." He smiles. I smile and peck his lips. His arms wrap around my bare body and he pulls me close to him. The heat radiating off him is so comforting and I snuggle into him more. More lightening followed by thunder fills the sky and I close my eyes. I listen to Matt's heart beat, tuning out the thunder and rain. His breathing is even and so is his heart beat. I kiss his chest and his heart beat speeds up the tiniest bit. I smile to myself and he kisses the top of my head. He takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly.
"We should probably get up." He says quietly.
"Damn." I whisper. He chuckles and kisses the top of my head again.
"I know, but come on." He sits up and so do I, holding the blanket up against my chest. He stands up and starts getting dressed. He doesn't out his shirt on, as he walks out of the room.
"I'll wait outside the door." He smiles. I nod and wait for him to close the door, before putting on everything except my jeans, leaving me in my baggy oversized t-shirt. I open the door and Matt is standing there. He takes my hand and we walk downstairs into the kitchen. The house is already clean. My heart jumps into my throat, again, when I see Dylan making some breakfast for himself. He glances up and doesn't really acknowledge me, but then his head snaps up and he stares at me in shock. Dylan walks towards me with the sharp knife he was using to cut a tomato in his hand. He shoves me up against the wall, causing me to lose my grip of Matt's hand. I let out a small cry as he holds the knife point at my left shoulder.
"What the hell?" He spits.
"Dylan, stop." Matt instructs. Dylan looks at him.
"Why'd you sleep with her?" He asks, glaring at Matt.
"Why'd you sleep with Veronica?" I ask. Dylan directs his gaze back to me and presses the knife point harder against the material of my t-shirt, causing the material to break and the point of the knife to come in contact with my skin. He presses harder and I let out a louder cry as it pierces my skin, the acid from the tomato on the knife sinking into my flesh.
"I thought you loved me." I say, wincing, but holding my gaze with his. "You said you loved me. And I thought that you had changed. I thought you actually did love me. But I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. I should've known that you would just break and return your old selfish jerk of a person. You're a disgrace to this fucking world." I spit. He pushes the knife harder into my skin and tears prick my eyes as I yell in pain as the wound gets bigger. I look at Matt. He's holding a piece of paper. I read what's on it. If I try to grab the knife from him, I could hurt you badly. But I have a plan... It says. I nod and look back at Dylan.
"The only disgrace here is you. You're pathetic. You keep thinking I'll change, but that was all just an act, sweet heart. You're worthless. You're gullible, and hopeless, and you just don't stop. You can't. You think people will love you if you keep trying, but nothing like that ever happens. People don't change like that," he snaps his fingers on "that" and then smiles at me sadistically. "You are just a sad pathetic worthless virus, so us all a favour and kill yourself." The words chew at me. Maybe he's right, I think. He pulls the knife from my shoulder and goes to walk away, but before he can get anywhere, Matt punches him across the face, knocking him out. I run into Matt's arms and start crying.
"Don't listen to a word that he says. Not a single word. Please. You have so much to live for and so many people love you. Don't let him bring you down." Matt whispers as he strokes my hair. He sits me down on the couch in the living room. He goes to remove my top, but I glare at him.
"I need to see the wound, Amber." He says. I swallow and let him pull my top off completely. He inspects the knife wound and holds my hand.
"Amber, this needs stitches." He says. I nod. "That requires going to a hospital." He adds. I close my eyes.
"But that means I'll have to explain how it happened." I whine. Matt nods.
"If you don't want to tell them exactly what happened, just make something up. But we need to get you there quickly, before you lose too much blood." He explains. I look down at the wound and then I feel sick to my stomach. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a deep cut like mine with blood pouring out of it. I faint.
Next thing I know I'm in the passenger seat of a car. A hand is over the top of mine, the fingers curled under the underside of my hand. I look around and see Matt driving. He glances at me and smiles. Rain beats against the windscreen and the windscreen wipers push the water away, making a clear view. The sides of the road are flooded as water gushes to the drain pipes. Matt squeezes my hand and I look back at him.
"Hey," he says quietly. "You feeling okay?"
"Yeah, a bit. My shoulder's killing me." I wince as I move into a comfier position. I look down at my should. Matt's covered it with a white towel that's slowly being soaked with my blood.
"You look really pale. Shit! Just don't close your eyes again, okay? I panicked when you fainted at Dylan's."
"Yeah, sorry. I can't stand that gory sort of stuff."
"Fair enough. Just keep your eyes open. We'll be there soon." He accelerates faster and we zoom down the road. I look down at my lap. My jeans have mysteriously made their way onto my legs.
"Did... you dress me?" I ask. He smiles sheepishly at me.
"I had to. I didn't want to bring you into a hospital with just a t-shirt on." He grins. I let out a small laugh and turn my hand over so we can interlock our fingers.
"Tell me stuff about you." I say. He laughs and nods. Then begins telling me everything about him. He has one younger sister called, Elise. He has a pet cat called Wednesday who is black and white and reminds him of the character. Wednesday from The Adams Family, hence the name. He likes afl and barracks for Hawthorn, like myself. He's into metal music but doesn't kind pop and indie music. We have a lot in common.
Then I tell him stuff about me. I don't hold back on any detail. I tell him everything, including the things about Mac. Once I'm done, I let out an exhausted breath and laugh. Matt laughs as well.
"Wow." He says.
"Yeah, that one word for it." I say.
"You live an intense life. But look, if you don't want to live with Mac, and I forbid you to live with Dylan or your dad, you can come crash with me." He smiles. I smile back.
"Thanks for the offer. I'll see what happens." I look down at our hands and smile to myself. I close my yes and rest my head against the side of the car. Matt hits my arm. My eyes snap open and I glare at him.
"I told you to not close your freaking eyes!" He exclaims.
"Okay, okay." I say as he steers the car into the emergency parking area. All of a sudden a searing pain begins in my right side below my ribs. I let out a pained groan and start crying.
"Amber?" Matt looks panicked. He gets out and and goes around to my door. He opens it and feels my forehead.
"Shit! You're burning up." He helps me out. He puts his arm around my waist on my right side and supports me as we walk into the emergency room. A nurse rushes up to me and takes my left hand.
"Okay, calm down. It's okay. You're going to okay." She says calmly to me. I let out a whimper as the pain stabs me again. The nurse yells some instructions and I'm put on a bed on wheels and wheeled off into a ward. Matt runs behind the nurses and doctors. We come to a stop and a doctor appears in my view.
"Hello, I'm doctor Ben Hallow. Can you tell me what you are feeling right now?" Ben asks.
"My shoulder," I cry. "And my side."
"Okay. Which side?" He asks.
"My right. Just below my ribs." I explain. Ben lifts my top up a bit and prods around the area. The pain becomes unbearable. He looks at the nurses and doctors around him.
"It's her appendix. We need to get her under anaesthetic as quick as possible." He explains to them. I let out another groan. And then I'm rushed into a operating theatre. Panic rises in me and I try to sit up, but nurses hold me down.
"Matt!" I yell. "Matt! Matt! Help! Please, Matt!" I cry harder. A mask is placed over my mouth and I'm told to take deep breaths and count down from 10. I try to struggle and fight, but the pain just gets more intense.
"Ten." I pause and look at Ben. He nods and I continue.
"Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four.. Three... Two..." My eyelids feel extremely heavy and I can't keep them open any longer. "One."
I wake up to the beeping of a heart monitor. My heart monitor. I open my eyes and look around. I'm in a private hospital room. The lights are dimmed but I can still see everything in the room. I'm hooked up to all kinds of tubes. I look down at my left shoulder. There isn't a towel over it anymore. I remove the hospital gown from my shoulder, so I can look at the wound. It's been stitched up. I let out a relieved sigh and go to sit up, but immediately let out a cry of pain as my side kills. I lift up the gown and see stitches in my side. Someone stirs beside me and my eyes snap to them. They lift their head and rub their eyes.
Oli.
"Oli?" I ask.
"Thank god you're okay." He whispers, hugging me. I hug him back.
"What happened?"
"You had your appendix out."
"Oh god." I groan. "What about my shoulder. Do any of the nurses know the real reason why that wound was created?"
"No. But I need an explanation."
"Where's Matt?"
"He left, but he gave me his number to give to y-"
"I don't want it." I cut in. He nods and sits back down, but takes my hand.
"He told the nurses what happened with your shoulder. But I could tell he was lying. Tell me the truth."
"Okay, just promise not to tell anyone. I don't want to press any charges or for him to get in trouble."
"Who? Who did that to you?"
"Dylan."
"The little fucker! I thought he had changed."
"So did I, but turns out I was wrong." I say. "All that "I love you" shit was all bullshit." I add quietly. He squeezes my hand and I smile at him.
"Why did he do that?" He asks, looking me in my eyes. I take a deep breath and begin.
"Last night, he held a party, and he invited me. He said he'd make sure I was by his side the whole time, but turns out that wasn't the case. I had just got told that Mac had been involved in the death of my brother. Mac had told me himself and I was furious, so I got extremely drunk. More drunk than I had ever gotten before. I was on the dance floor and Matt was dancing with me and then I saw Dylan making out with a blonde bimbo called Veronica. And it made me want to throw up. Then again that could've been the alcohol, but anyway. So then, I was so angry that I kissed Matt and then we may have... kind of... Well we did. It wasn't kind of. We did... sleep... together."
"Shit." He breaths out. I nod.
"But it was all a big mistake. I completely regret it now." I assure him. Oli nods slowly.
"You don't like Matt?"
"No. I would've liked to be friends. But now that's completely ruined by us having..." I trail off when Oli shoots me a small glare.
"And you don't like Dylan or Mac?"
"Hate Dylan and strongly strongly strongly dislike Mac." Oli laughs.
"Okay, well, what about me?" He does jazz hands and grins at me. I laugh and clutch my side as a small pain stabs me.
"Well, you... I absolutely hate. Can't stand you. Disgusting. Revolting. Ew." I smirk playfully. He opens his mouth, mocking shock, but his eyes smile brightly. I laugh as he climbs on top of me, straddling me, making sure not to hurt my side or shoulder in any way.
"What are you doing?" I ask with a giggle.
"Yo were a big meanie and you need to experience what I do to meanies." He grins devilishly and he starts chuckling. His chuckle turns into a laugh and an evil laugh it is. It makes me start laughing and soon we are both laughing hysterically. Then he starts tickling me. He starts off slow and then it gets faster and soon I'm writhing in fits of laughter. I squirm and try to tell him to stop but I can't get the word out.
"Oli! Stop!" I finally manage to laugh out. His hand accidentally pushes against my stitched up wound on my side and I let out a yelp in pain. He pulls his hands back and a scared look comes over his face.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He asks, panic lacing through his words.
"Oli," I put my hand against his cheek, "I'm fine. You just accident,y pressed against my side."
"God, I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it." I smile. "But I have a serious question to ask you." He nods and gives me his full attention, taking my hands in his, still straddling me.
"My brother is dead, my best friend had something to do with that. Dylan was a complete asshole and Matt... let's just say I don't know him very well. And that leaves my dad, and I really don't want to stay with him." Oli nods. "Well, none of them I can't stay with or I'm not comfortable staying with them, so I'm on the streets, but if you would be ever so kind as to-"
"Of course you can stay with me." He smiles, hugging me. A wave of relief washes over me and drowns me in it's pleasure as I hug him back.
"Thank you so much, Oli." I say. He grins and climbs off me.
"I'll go find a nurse or doctor to ask when you can get out of hospital." He tells me. I nod as he closes the door behind him. Just as I close my eyes to relax the door opens and closes again. I open my eyes and see Mac standing at the door. His black hair is messier than usual and he has bags under his eyes.
"Bugger off." I snarl. He clenches his jaw.
"Amber," he begins, "look, I know you really don't want to see me or talk to me or even live with me, but please just hear me out." He pleads.
"What else is there to hear, Mac? Were you the driver? Oh don't tell me, you went through the same loss as me when the driver died in hospital? My brother didn't even make it to the hospital, Mac. He was killed at the scene. He was your friend. This was my brother. The one person who understood me better than I understood myself. The one who called me Creep and Creature and silly nicknames like that." I start crying. "The one who I loved more then anything else in this world. The one who loved me the same way back." I'm full on crying now. Like bawling.
"Amber," Mac persists.
"Just go away Mac. Don't you get it? I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at you the same way again. You will always be "the one who contributed to my brother's death." You will always remind me of that horrible night, and you will always trigger those headlights of your friends car speeding towards me. You will always be "the best friend who couldn't be truthful to his best friend." I freaking trusted you Mac! I trusted you! And you threw my trust away like it was trash! We were the type of best friends that tell each other every little secret, even if it could hurt the other person. And you didn't uphold that trust, and so now I've lost my only best friend. Do you know how much you meant to me?" Silence coats us like cold snow coats the ground. "You were the best friend anyone could ever ask for. And you blew it. You bloody blew it. Just please leave." He takes a step towards me and reaches for my hand. I can see tears in his eyes. But I roll over, giving him my back. "Please, just leave. I don't want to see you again. I'll pick up my stuff from your house later."
"Amber, just listen to me." He pleads, his voice wavers and out the corner of my eye, I notice his bottom lip quivering.
"Just go!" I shout. "Just leave me alone! You don't deserve to be standing here in front of me!" I sit up, even though it hurts and look at him. "You are a coward! You left that secret locked away inside you for another 2 months after my brothers death and then you told me! And it was at a party! All I could hear were some of your words mixing with the techno music raging from downstairs. Way to break it to me easy!" I let out a sigh and wipe the tears from my cheeks, but that doesn't stop them trailing down again. "I don't want to know about anything that goes on in your life again. I don't want to know how you're are doing and I most definitely do not want to hear some long apology voice message or email or text or letter or speech. What you did was wrong and you know that. And I'm pretty sure you knew that the moment my brother died."
"Amber, you had so much going on in your life-"
"I don't care! I had the right to know about my "best friend" being involved with my brothers death. Just fucking leave! I don't want to see you again! Ever! I hope you tell your parents about this shit, because that would be messed up if you didn't." He holds my stare. "I'm falling apart here, Mac." Then the door is opened and he breaks eye contact. Oli appears at the doorway.
"Oh, should I leave?" He asks. I shake my head.
"Mac and I are done." I say, harshly. Mac glances at me and turns to walk away, but Oli slams the door shut. Mac looks up, just in time as Oli pushes him up against the wall, holding onto his shirt.
"Why'd you kill her brother?" Oli asks.
"Oli." I say. He glances at me. "Let him go." I say. Oli releases Mac's shirt and Mac practically sprints out of my room. Oli sits on my bed and I crawl onto his lap, his arms encircling me. I start crying again.
"I'll stay with you tonight, and then you can leave tomorrow. How does that sound?" He explains. I nod and he hugs me tighter.
I am falling apart.